Guest Post: Financial Sense for Chareidim: Mesila Gives The Tools
Thank you to Aaron Katsman, a Mesila volunteer, who outlines the nature of the work of Mesila, an organization that helps Chareidim to get out of debt, live within a budget, and become financially stable. Certainly the highest level of tzedakah. The great news is that Mesila is coming to the United States, first to Lakewood. Highlights are mind. Guest post below:
Being in the midst of a global economic crisis has brought home the point that individuals must take a more responsible approach to their finances. Unfortunately many households are already on the brink of financial collapse and lack the necessary tools to get their financial situation in order. I'm not only talking about economic collapse, but in many cases the strain this causes on their marriage is unbearable. Broken finances=broken families. What makes matters worse is A- the need for people to 'keep up with the Joneses' and B- the unbelievable ease with with anyone can access money. Both of these factors, as well as many others, have contributed to economic hardship and a culture of debt among many in today's society. While organizations like Debtors Anonymous have done a great job, many feel that due to special circumstances, Orthodox Jews need their own organizations to work with their own constituents. Mother In Israel had a great post, that appeared on Orthonomics, about Paamonim. I'd like to mention another group that does a lot of work in the Chareidi population.
Mesila works with families to provide them with the tools necessary to live within their means. It's not just another Gemach(Kindness organization.) Mesila tries to convey responsible, Torah-based attitudes towards finances. It's obvious that Chareidi society has different needs than other groups, ( feeding large families, Bar Mitzva's, marrying off lots of children..) and many people end up loaded down with staggering amounts of debt and spend their entire day running from Gemach to Gemach, rolling their debt.
As a volunteer for the organization,I have worked with tens of cases and can attest to the fact that their methods work. I'd like to share an example:
About two years ago I started to work with a young couple with 3 children under the age of 5. The husband was learning and the wife was a teacher earning a teachers salary. Wanting the same type of lifestyle that their parents currently enjoy, they bought a car, an apartment, and of course they could only furnish the apartment with the very best furnishings. Needless to say that their total income was about $1,000 a month, had expenses of $2,500 a month and had run up debt of $50,000. They were late on mortgage payments, municipal taxes etc.. You name it and they hadn't paid it. They were constantly under threat of being cut off from all utilities. ( Believe it or not this is actually one of the easier cases I have worked on!)
Well, we got to work. The first thing they needed to do was understand their expenses, both monthly and annually. Mesila believes that you need to separate your monthly and annual expenses from your debt. If everything s mixed up then you can't get a good understanding of the problem. Once the couple actually saw their income and expense line, they actually realized that they had a big problem. The husband immediately got a job as a security guard, and the wife started to supplement her income by tutoring. Then we worked on a budget. They would have to live within their means, and have money left over to start paying down debt.
A big issue for these couples is that they have no room to breathe. What do I mean? That even though they are making more and saving more they are constantly being chased down from people wanting to be paid back. So the couple made a list of all the individuals, and companies that they owed money to, and we starting calling them to re-work the payment plans. We also arranged for about $5,000 from a Gemach to pay back the most urgent loans; those of the local grocer, butcher and fruit store. The firms we called to re-work payments were so accommodating to the couple. I see it over and over again when it comes to charity. If people think that they are giving and they feel like the money is going into a black hole, they are less inclined to give. But if a family actually has a budget and they are doing their best to live within that framework, people are much more willing to donate. The same thing holds true for these firms. Once they heard that the couple is working with Mesila, they delayed repayment for a few months, and then made terms that the couple could handle.
I don't want to go on and on with this story but needless to say, the family is doing well. They have managed to cut their debt down to about $20,000, and are living within a monthly budget. The husband still works nights as a security guard but is in school studying to be a social worker.
Many of you will say that Chareidim should get out of the Yeshiva and get a job. First of all, Mesila believes in not judging anyone. You can do whatever you want to do with your life, just make sure that your expenses are no more than your income. Also, what you need to know is that in many families the husband works and may even work multiple jobs. The wife also brings in some extra money. They are very resourceful. It's just that if you have 10 kids, even if you net $5,000 a month you are going to be in trouble.
The need is great and they are inundated with requests to help. There aren't a lot of English speaking volunteers. There are hundreds of Israeli volunteers and they have branches all over Israel and are even trying to start a branch in Lakewood.
We could use more organizations like Mesila and Paamonim to enable people to get back on their feet economically. Any of you who think you could use your experience to help others are urged to call and volunteer.
Aaron, expect an email from me.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Larger Families and Equality
Earlier I posted some words of wisdom regarding discrepancies between income and siblings from the Money Magazine columnists Jeanne Fleming and Leonard Schwarz who authored the book Isn't It Their Turn to Pick Up the Check? Dealing with All of the Trickiest Money Problems Between Family and Friends -- from Serial Borrowers to Serious Cheapskates.
The end of the chapter dealing with siblings contained some words of wisdom that I think are important to keep in mind:
I love sizable families, and the Orthodox world is blessed with large families and limited resources. During these tough economic times, what has been done in the past may no longer be an option. Many parents will feel terrible as it is natural to want to give equally, and I'm sure many parents will be tempted to continue to try to do the same for the sake of equality. I can even think of a family that doesn't want to push their daughter towards a different type of shidduch than the type she has been seeking for many years now, because it would make her different from her siblings.
Families that are just getting started with setting a standard would be wise to listen to my commentor tesyaa's advice from the "Hachnasat Bar Mitzvah Bochur" post which deals with a collection being taken up to make a Bar Mitzvah, complete with extras, for the oldest son of a family that has recently lost their business (the "hachnasat" part of the title was tongue in cheek as there is no mitzvah of making a bar mitzvah affair). Tesyaa writes:
It is really hard to do different. But, perhaps it is just a reality of larger families. (And now I can return this book to the library. It was a nice easy read).
Earlier I posted some words of wisdom regarding discrepancies between income and siblings from the Money Magazine columnists Jeanne Fleming and Leonard Schwarz who authored the book Isn't It Their Turn to Pick Up the Check? Dealing with All of the Trickiest Money Problems Between Family and Friends -- from Serial Borrowers to Serious Cheapskates.
The end of the chapter dealing with siblings contained some words of wisdom that I think are important to keep in mind:
"Suppose you'd prefer that your children not end up with financial resources so unequal that they experience the jealousy, resentment, and worries described in
this chapter. What should you do? According to sociologist Dalton Conley, the more children a family has, the more likely there are to be significant income disparities between the siblings as adults. His advice: If you don't want large gaps in income and achievement between your own children when they grow up-and if you want to maximize each child's odds of being successful-don't have more than two kids."
I love sizable families, and the Orthodox world is blessed with large families and limited resources. During these tough economic times, what has been done in the past may no longer be an option. Many parents will feel terrible as it is natural to want to give equally, and I'm sure many parents will be tempted to continue to try to do the same for the sake of equality. I can even think of a family that doesn't want to push their daughter towards a different type of shidduch than the type she has been seeking for many years now, because it would make her different from her siblings.
Families that are just getting started with setting a standard would be wise to listen to my commentor tesyaa's advice from the "Hachnasat Bar Mitzvah Bochur" post which deals with a collection being taken up to make a Bar Mitzvah, complete with extras, for the oldest son of a family that has recently lost their business (the "hachnasat" part of the title was tongue in cheek as there is no mitzvah of making a bar mitzvah affair). Tesyaa writes:
A little different angle. I think the fact that this is "it is there [sic] oldest son" is a good reason to tone down the affair in the first place. I speak from experience, having made my daughter a nice (but not large or ostentatious) bas mitzvah 3 years ago. I did the same for my next daughter this year. I have (b"h) another coming up next Shavuos, and I would like to spend less. But having done one simcha model, so to speak, for her sisters, I'm hesitant to do much less for daughter #3 because I know her feelings will be hurt. If I would have made a cheaper simcha the first time, I wouldn't have this issue.
It is really hard to do different. But, perhaps it is just a reality of larger families. (And now I can return this book to the library. It was a nice easy read).
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Guest Post: Real Help. . . . and not just for the Receipient
Israel is blessed to have two tzedakah organizations dedicated to the highest level of tzedakah as per Maimonides, that is helping a person become self-sufficient. I learned of these two organizations (Paamonim and Mesila) from my readers and am happy to share a post from my friend MominIsrael who recently wrote about Paanmonim. Such organizations don't just benefit the receipient, they benefit the entire tzedakah giving community, as the demands on tzedakah funds are lessened.
This guest post fits in very nicely with my current subject matter.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paamonim:The long, shorter way to get out of debt
Paamonim is an organization, operating mainly in the national religious community, that helps middle class families manage their budgets and pay off debts. In Friday's alon Matzav Haruach, Rachel Klein wrote about Paamonim and spoke with its director, Uriel Lederberg."
Dina," a single mother of three, covered her overdraft by taking out new loans. She contacted Paamonim when her debt reached NIS 45,000. Moti, a financial counselor trained by the organization, came to the house and helped her plan the family's budget.
Dina reports, "In the first stage, we fired the ozeret (housecleaner, at NIS 800/month). The children cooperated and took on the various chores. We also restricted chugim (afterschool activities) to one per child. We stopped ordering prepared foods and pizza. We gave up on entertainment and restaurants. There were no more weekeends in hotels. Instead of the pool, we went to the beach. We discovered parks. . . I learned that NIS 70 face cream works as well as cream costing NIS 300. . . ."
(Our dermatologist friend recommends buying the cheapest face cream because glycerin, the most effective ingredient, costs the least.)
Dina began to have her clothes and shoes repaired instead of buying new ones, took a second job in the evening, blow-dried her own wig (saving NIS 70), and her daughter began babysitting to pay for her clothes. After two years she has paid off most of her loan and the bank account is balanced. She says, "Yes, I have a masters degree, and I work in a senior position. But I earned my true doctorate for life with Paamonim."
Director Lederberg explains how Paamonim is different from most other charity organizations. The others look for an immediate solution for a needy family, providing a basket of food, a financial grant, or a school backpack. In another week or two, or a month, the family needs more help. One child needs dental work, the bank is calling about the overdraft, and the school trip is coming up.
Judging by recent phone requests, those kinds of organizations are popping up like snails after the rain. I just heard from one that provides hot lunches to schoolchildren. Charity organizations will always be necessary to help the truly needy, while Paamonim focuses on families that should be able to stand on its feet but aren't. But everyone can benefit from Paamonim's techniques.
Lederberg got the idea after helping to raise funds for a family whose utilities were being cut off, only to find the family in the same situation a few months later. When he spoke to the bank manager about lowering the interest rate on the family's account and allowing an easier payment schedule, the manager asked Lederberg if he could refer other families to him.
Lederberg and his friends developed two parallel paths to financial solvency. First, they check all possible sources of income like national insurance, disability grants, and discounts. They negotiate with the banks for better terms, but never ask for debts to be cancelled. In the second, more intensive level of assistance, Paamonim examines the family's budget, helping them track their income and expenses and become wise and frugal consumers. Paamonim has experts who advise the counselors on getting low rates for various goods and services.
Lederberg, like most of the thousand-strong staff, is a volunteer himself.
When a financial counselor is available to help, he or she asks the family to prepare its financial documents. At this point many families get cold feet, so Paamonim waits until the family reinitiates contact. The process is painful and requires full cooperation. The volunteer doesn't instruct the family on which items to cut, but helps it prepare a balanced budget leaving NIS 500-1000 per month to repay debts.
On Paamonim's website, you can download budget spreadsheets, read articles about saving money, and learn how to train as a volunteer. (A friend who inquired said you need to attend a five-session course.)
Unfortunately the English part of the site is not as rich (so to speak).Just don't go to the wrong site--paamonim.co.il advertises a fancy vacation getaway.
Israel is blessed to have two tzedakah organizations dedicated to the highest level of tzedakah as per Maimonides, that is helping a person become self-sufficient. I learned of these two organizations (Paamonim and Mesila) from my readers and am happy to share a post from my friend MominIsrael who recently wrote about Paanmonim. Such organizations don't just benefit the receipient, they benefit the entire tzedakah giving community, as the demands on tzedakah funds are lessened.
This guest post fits in very nicely with my current subject matter.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paamonim:The long, shorter way to get out of debt
Paamonim is an organization, operating mainly in the national religious community, that helps middle class families manage their budgets and pay off debts. In Friday's alon Matzav Haruach, Rachel Klein wrote about Paamonim and spoke with its director, Uriel Lederberg."
Dina," a single mother of three, covered her overdraft by taking out new loans. She contacted Paamonim when her debt reached NIS 45,000. Moti, a financial counselor trained by the organization, came to the house and helped her plan the family's budget.
Dina reports, "In the first stage, we fired the ozeret (housecleaner, at NIS 800/month). The children cooperated and took on the various chores. We also restricted chugim (afterschool activities) to one per child. We stopped ordering prepared foods and pizza. We gave up on entertainment and restaurants. There were no more weekeends in hotels. Instead of the pool, we went to the beach. We discovered parks. . . I learned that NIS 70 face cream works as well as cream costing NIS 300. . . ."
(Our dermatologist friend recommends buying the cheapest face cream because glycerin, the most effective ingredient, costs the least.)
Dina began to have her clothes and shoes repaired instead of buying new ones, took a second job in the evening, blow-dried her own wig (saving NIS 70), and her daughter began babysitting to pay for her clothes. After two years she has paid off most of her loan and the bank account is balanced. She says, "Yes, I have a masters degree, and I work in a senior position. But I earned my true doctorate for life with Paamonim."
Director Lederberg explains how Paamonim is different from most other charity organizations. The others look for an immediate solution for a needy family, providing a basket of food, a financial grant, or a school backpack. In another week or two, or a month, the family needs more help. One child needs dental work, the bank is calling about the overdraft, and the school trip is coming up.
Judging by recent phone requests, those kinds of organizations are popping up like snails after the rain. I just heard from one that provides hot lunches to schoolchildren. Charity organizations will always be necessary to help the truly needy, while Paamonim focuses on families that should be able to stand on its feet but aren't. But everyone can benefit from Paamonim's techniques.
Lederberg got the idea after helping to raise funds for a family whose utilities were being cut off, only to find the family in the same situation a few months later. When he spoke to the bank manager about lowering the interest rate on the family's account and allowing an easier payment schedule, the manager asked Lederberg if he could refer other families to him.
Lederberg and his friends developed two parallel paths to financial solvency. First, they check all possible sources of income like national insurance, disability grants, and discounts. They negotiate with the banks for better terms, but never ask for debts to be cancelled. In the second, more intensive level of assistance, Paamonim examines the family's budget, helping them track their income and expenses and become wise and frugal consumers. Paamonim has experts who advise the counselors on getting low rates for various goods and services.
Lederberg, like most of the thousand-strong staff, is a volunteer himself.
When a financial counselor is available to help, he or she asks the family to prepare its financial documents. At this point many families get cold feet, so Paamonim waits until the family reinitiates contact. The process is painful and requires full cooperation. The volunteer doesn't instruct the family on which items to cut, but helps it prepare a balanced budget leaving NIS 500-1000 per month to repay debts.
On Paamonim's website, you can download budget spreadsheets, read articles about saving money, and learn how to train as a volunteer. (A friend who inquired said you need to attend a five-session course.)
Unfortunately the English part of the site is not as rich (so to speak).Just don't go to the wrong site--paamonim.co.il advertises a fancy vacation getaway.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Guest Post: You Say You Want Help, but. . . . . .. .
I'm not a participant on the imamother board, although I check in from time to time to see what orthonomic topics women talking about. One pattern I've noticed is he lack of a "can do" attitude. Many women have financial issues, but are unwilling to give a suggestion from a brainstorm a try, should it imply changing course, inconvience, etc. I remember one thread where a family wanted to lower their grocery bill and another women suggested eating less fleishigs. Another women 'slammed' the person suggesting eating less meat saying it was cruel to suggest such. (Well, lock me up for spousal and child abuse because this IS a major way to control the kosher food budget).
Of course, not every idea that is presented is doable or the right solution for a family (and I've seen pleny of bad financial advice too), but the lack of "can do," "will try," "I'll give it a trial run," is a huge impediment to getting on your own two feet. I've seen a huge divide in financial threads. There are those who are willing to find a solution, even if it is unplesant. And there are those who have a reason why nothing will work and believe the situation can't be overcome without outside help.
A reader of this blog wrote to me about another example of this divide. Read on.
Next up: Another guest post about an organization that expects its receipients to make real budgetary changes.
-----
Family with $700 per month car payment resorts to going to food bank for their basic needs.
http://imamother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=849740#849740
This woman on imamother.com posts that's she's having trouble making ends meet and is going to the food bank. The title of her post implies that she wants help: "The Best Way to Get Help Without Asking". She doesn't want help--- help implies advice, resources, and job offers. She simply wants money, and people to listen to her excuses.
I'm thinking both she and her husband are working full time and simply not being paid enough to make the large tuition payments that the school demands. I'm about to start feeling sorry for her. Then I read that she's not working. Ok, maybe she's between jobs and looking hard for work to help contribute to the family. THEN I read that she was OFFERED a job at her child's school, but turned it down because she didn't like what it pays. She's a credentialed teacher but is turning her nose up at an aide position which pays $800 twice a month. Tuition for one child is $1500 a month---- ok, so taking this job would pay one whole tuition and get one problem solved. Then I realize she has young children and daycare can be very expensive--- I start to feel sorry for her again until I realize she's said nothing about asking relatives or friends or neighbors to help babysit in shifts for a nominal fee while she goes and takes the job--- she simply doesn't intend to take the job no matter what. Ok, fine.... keep going to the food bank...... So at least she's cutting her expenses, right?
THEN I read about her (are you sitting down?) $700 car payment. Give up the car? NO WAY!!! She lives in Los Angeles and you CAN'T get around in LA without a car. AND THEN I read that her child is embarrassed at school because her parents can't afford to do laundry (no washer and dryer at home). Really-- there is no need for her kids to be embarrassed to be in dirty clothing at school. Doing laundry at the laundromat is a few dollars. If she can find $700 to make that car payment, she can find five dollars so that her children have clean clothing. They don't need NEW clothes.... they don't even need a LOT of clothes.... but they do need CLEAN clothing.
But she CAN'T give up the car! But she CAN'T trade it in for a cheaper one! But she CAN'T take the job because what about tuition for her young children. But they CAN'T move to a smaller apartment! But but but.....
Food banks and government programs are great for people who've fallen on hard times through no fault of their own. A death of a spouse. Two parents both working full time but still not finding work that pays enough. But what if food banks and other government programs actually monitored your car payments? Your rent? Then more people would be turned down and forced to take HELP from people and not HANDOUTS.
Here's my opinion to the lady with the rotten food bank OJ and the $700 car payment. Take the job--- instead of asking people for monetary handouts, ask them for HELP--- ask friends to help babysit your children in shifts so that you can take a full time job. I'm all for being a SAHM but not if you're taking from the food bank...... from families that aren't mocking the necessity of such a concept by keeping a car that has a $700 car payment monkey on its back. Trade in the car---- get a used one for $700 (ok maybe $2000) TOTAL.
Take money from people and it's taking fish. Take jobs, resources, advice, and free or cheap babysitting from people..(and people will happily give with open arms)... and maybe you're learning HOW to fish...... but learning that you don't need a fishing pole that costs $700 a month.
I'm off my soapbox for the time being, but now I see another imamother post that needs my attention.....
I'm not a participant on the imamother board, although I check in from time to time to see what orthonomic topics women talking about. One pattern I've noticed is he lack of a "can do" attitude. Many women have financial issues, but are unwilling to give a suggestion from a brainstorm a try, should it imply changing course, inconvience, etc. I remember one thread where a family wanted to lower their grocery bill and another women suggested eating less fleishigs. Another women 'slammed' the person suggesting eating less meat saying it was cruel to suggest such. (Well, lock me up for spousal and child abuse because this IS a major way to control the kosher food budget).
Of course, not every idea that is presented is doable or the right solution for a family (and I've seen pleny of bad financial advice too), but the lack of "can do," "will try," "I'll give it a trial run," is a huge impediment to getting on your own two feet. I've seen a huge divide in financial threads. There are those who are willing to find a solution, even if it is unplesant. And there are those who have a reason why nothing will work and believe the situation can't be overcome without outside help.
A reader of this blog wrote to me about another example of this divide. Read on.
Next up: Another guest post about an organization that expects its receipients to make real budgetary changes.
-----
Family with $700 per month car payment resorts to going to food bank for their basic needs.
http://imamother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=849740#849740
This woman on imamother.com posts that's she's having trouble making ends meet and is going to the food bank. The title of her post implies that she wants help: "The Best Way to Get Help Without Asking". She doesn't want help--- help implies advice, resources, and job offers. She simply wants money, and people to listen to her excuses.
I'm thinking both she and her husband are working full time and simply not being paid enough to make the large tuition payments that the school demands. I'm about to start feeling sorry for her. Then I read that she's not working. Ok, maybe she's between jobs and looking hard for work to help contribute to the family. THEN I read that she was OFFERED a job at her child's school, but turned it down because she didn't like what it pays. She's a credentialed teacher but is turning her nose up at an aide position which pays $800 twice a month. Tuition for one child is $1500 a month---- ok, so taking this job would pay one whole tuition and get one problem solved. Then I realize she has young children and daycare can be very expensive--- I start to feel sorry for her again until I realize she's said nothing about asking relatives or friends or neighbors to help babysit in shifts for a nominal fee while she goes and takes the job--- she simply doesn't intend to take the job no matter what. Ok, fine.... keep going to the food bank...... So at least she's cutting her expenses, right?
THEN I read about her (are you sitting down?) $700 car payment. Give up the car? NO WAY!!! She lives in Los Angeles and you CAN'T get around in LA without a car. AND THEN I read that her child is embarrassed at school because her parents can't afford to do laundry (no washer and dryer at home). Really-- there is no need for her kids to be embarrassed to be in dirty clothing at school. Doing laundry at the laundromat is a few dollars. If she can find $700 to make that car payment, she can find five dollars so that her children have clean clothing. They don't need NEW clothes.... they don't even need a LOT of clothes.... but they do need CLEAN clothing.
But she CAN'T give up the car! But she CAN'T trade it in for a cheaper one! But she CAN'T take the job because what about tuition for her young children. But they CAN'T move to a smaller apartment! But but but.....
Food banks and government programs are great for people who've fallen on hard times through no fault of their own. A death of a spouse. Two parents both working full time but still not finding work that pays enough. But what if food banks and other government programs actually monitored your car payments? Your rent? Then more people would be turned down and forced to take HELP from people and not HANDOUTS.
Here's my opinion to the lady with the rotten food bank OJ and the $700 car payment. Take the job--- instead of asking people for monetary handouts, ask them for HELP--- ask friends to help babysit your children in shifts so that you can take a full time job. I'm all for being a SAHM but not if you're taking from the food bank...... from families that aren't mocking the necessity of such a concept by keeping a car that has a $700 car payment monkey on its back. Trade in the car---- get a used one for $700 (ok maybe $2000) TOTAL.
Take money from people and it's taking fish. Take jobs, resources, advice, and free or cheap babysitting from people..(and people will happily give with open arms)... and maybe you're learning HOW to fish...... but learning that you don't need a fishing pole that costs $700 a month.
I'm off my soapbox for the time being, but now I see another imamother post that needs my attention.....
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Cost Cutting Brainstorm
In the last post, 'Thinking' put forward some suggestions for cost cutting in day schools and yeshivot. I figures I would open up the board to brainstorming now that we are back to talking about tuition. Perhaps those with a voice in their local schools can pass along suggestions that come this way and float them in their own community.
From 'Thinking' [my comments in orange]:
A few of my own suggestions/questions:
In the last post, 'Thinking' put forward some suggestions for cost cutting in day schools and yeshivot. I figures I would open up the board to brainstorming now that we are back to talking about tuition. Perhaps those with a voice in their local schools can pass along suggestions that come this way and float them in their own community.
From 'Thinking' [my comments in orange]:
As someone who works in Change Management in the corporate world it never ceases to amaze me how the Yeshivos and other NfP's are so blind to what is going on and always seem to be behind the 8 ball. They need to see what the corporate world is doing and borrow the best practices. To borrow from what the corporate world is currently doing.1.Identify the percentage of annual budget that will be decreased for 2009. It will need to be big, 25-35%. This will be accomplished by cutting office staff, teaching staff, nice to haves and other non-essentials (conferences, extra curricular activities etc). The cuts will have to mirror the expected losses incurred by lower tuition collections and fund raising.2. Stop passing on non-essential costs to parents. Instead of a petting zoo @ $12 a head, next year might be the year to forgo the petting zoo for a dvd about animals.3.In general, cutting back on parent requests for money for extras. The focus should be on tuition and covering the budget before any extras at all.4. Schools/NfP's pooling resources. This has been suggested before. Without going into this at length, the reason this is not done more often is because of the fear of one school defaulting on their portion of the costs and the liability falling on the other schools. Schools and not for profits need to reconsider this option and pool non-risky resources and potentially, staff. In addition, offices, phone lines and others could be shared. [Brainstorm question: what is the first area that could be consolidated with little risk? If I was looking at consolidating staff, I would look at
combining students from two or three schools for PE or art class, or any other
once a week offering.]5. Cutting office expenditures. This needs to be a directive, "Cut 25%!".6. Engaging all of the staff to look for creative ways to save money. Why should this responsibility just rest on the administration and not the rest of the staff? [I mentioned before that public schools give yearly allotments for allowable photocopies. I am always amazed by how many projects come home with students in frum schools. I imagine most former public schoolers who read this blog will agree with me. Many of those projects are laminated and include printed photographs. I know many of these projects are meaningful to the parents and students, but there is certainly room to cut. If I was running a school, I would put all staff on a budget immediately].7. Now is the time to tell the staff that there will be no raises next year. Don't wait until the annual raise conversation time for that conversation to happen. Let people make the long term decisions they need to make now.If schools and NfP's get focused on 2009 now, they have a shot at making it. If not, some will definitely fail. Maybe that's not such a bad thing.
1. All positions that are vacated and are necessary should be opened to the community for application, consideration, and even bidding.
2. I know a college student that had a great deal of hakarat hatov to his school and taught a lunch time academic elective GRATIS. Brainstorming question: Is there a possibility of picking up quality volunteer labor?
3. Goodbye disposables! I went to a kindergarten where every student had their own plate and fork for lunch. After lunch, you lined up to quickly wash the crumbs off your plate and set the plate to dry. Not too long ago, I stopped by a school around breakfast time to drop something off and the boys were setting up breakfast. Out came disposable bowls, plastic forks, and disposable tablecloths too. Time to institute a some leaner measures. Either let the kids bring their own container/bowl from home, or buy a set and let them quickly wash them after breakfast. I don't even want to think about the amount of disposables used at the Beit Midrash level. There has got to be a better way. (I'm sure I will be flamed, but it wouldn't hurt to assign dish duty.).
4. An observation and a question: I don't believe I had an elementary school class with less than 25 students. There were no teacher's aides. It seems that having both a teacher and an aide is standard practice in frum schools. Is the aide an absolute necessity? Could aides be shared between teachers? I got a call from a friend at 10PM one night asking if I could substitute as a teacher's aide in her place in a 4 year old nursery class. Since they let me bring my kid, I obliged. After 4 hours, I was very tired. I spend an entire four hours setting up activities, cleaning up activities that kids were not able to successfully clean up themselves, cutting, gluing, and stapling. I imagine parents love to see all of these projects. But, let's be honest, much of the work is done by staff and is rather costly.
5. See what other private and public schools are doing to reduce costs. Other private schools are in trouble too. Two brains are better than one.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
A Lot of Orthonomic Reading
Marvin Schick (Hat Tip: Joe Schick) is writing more about the tuition crisis in the most recent RJJ Journal. Mr. Schick starts off by writing "The starting point – the beginning of wisdom – is to recognize that there is a crisis, that what happens on Wall Street and at other key economic sectors has a direct bearing on yeshivas and day schools. Having blinders on is never a formula for intelligent planning and action. These days, having blinders on is reckless and worse." It seems to me that the train wreck schools are facing has been many years in the making. I'm not sure that the community has woken up quite yet, and neither is Mr. Schick.
One of the frugality blogs that I read recently had a post about being careful with not only your own money, but that of your employer as well. This advice of course is not new ethical advice, but the same mussar that we learn from chazal who implore us to be as careful with someone else's belongings as with our own. Like Mr. Schick, I am starting to find conferences regarding Jewish education that take place in 5-star venues (this year's Torah U'Mesorah 'Inaugural Presidents Conference, will be at the PGA resort in Palm Springs Garden, Flordia) to be in bad taste. Can someone book the conference, should it be a necessity, a Holiday Inn for 2009?
Mr. Schick makes some suggestions are cutting the 'small' expenses (he is a consistent advocate for staff):
-Energy saving [This one would be nice. My husband davened at a local school on the high holidays and my son kept asking him why the last one out of the empty classroom didn't turn off the lights, as is protocol in his school. My question was why the air conditioning was set at 65 degrees].
-Reduction in mailing costs [Amen! And I would add to that that not everything needs to be photocopied. Cutting down on printing cost would be no small savings. Our niece's school, I am told, has a full time employee who does nothing but run photocopies. In the public school I attended, teachers were limited to a certain number of photocopies per year. . . and they had to make them themselves. One of my teachers got into a bit of trouble with the photocopy machine and we learned of this rule].
-"Recognizing that successful fundraising is dependent on trust and direct contacts and not on a school sending a costly gift to thousands of names purchased from some outside source." [See my review of an article in Accounting Today about what fundraising in a down economy. Cultivating committed relationships is key].
-"Cut back on the costs associated with the annual dinner. The invitations can be more modest, the gifts given to the honorees and others who attend can be less costly and I believe that other savings can be instituted." [Rings true here. Should I tell you about a banquet that had a 12 piece band, a super-sized smorg followed by a 3 course meals and a dessert bar, and, oh yes, ice sculptures?].
-Seek new contributors (Mr. Schick adds, "fundraising that depends on expensive initial outlays is not the way to go)."
Mr. Schick really doles out the much needed mussar when he writes: "In the aggregate, our schools spend a million dollars or more on the annual Torah Umesorah convention that takes place after Pesach. Since many of them are behind in payroll, I wonder whether there is a halachic justification for such an expenditure when underpaid teachers are not being paid on time." I would add that one of the worst thing a school could do at this point is appear to be living it up, while staff is not receiving payment as due, on time, and in full. Staff retention will be important during tough economic times.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Five Towns Jewish Times published an article on the 'Fundraising Crisis.' The downturn in the economy has resulted in a long overdue discussion about where to place priorities in fundraising. While bochurim in Israel pray for the parnasah of their supporters as kollel families sink deeper, a discussion about how to keep yeshivot up and running here in America is ensuing. Scholarship requests are up, fundraising is down, and debts are mounting. The author interviews a yeshiva executive and fundraiser who predicts that things will get worse and makes some suggestions including:
-larger class sizes
-no pay raises for staff for the upcoming years and perhaps for years to come
-moratorium on outside-the-community fundraising until the economic situation stabilizes
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marvin Schick (Hat Tip: Joe Schick) is writing more about the tuition crisis in the most recent RJJ Journal. Mr. Schick starts off by writing "The starting point – the beginning of wisdom – is to recognize that there is a crisis, that what happens on Wall Street and at other key economic sectors has a direct bearing on yeshivas and day schools. Having blinders on is never a formula for intelligent planning and action. These days, having blinders on is reckless and worse." It seems to me that the train wreck schools are facing has been many years in the making. I'm not sure that the community has woken up quite yet, and neither is Mr. Schick.
One of the frugality blogs that I read recently had a post about being careful with not only your own money, but that of your employer as well. This advice of course is not new ethical advice, but the same mussar that we learn from chazal who implore us to be as careful with someone else's belongings as with our own. Like Mr. Schick, I am starting to find conferences regarding Jewish education that take place in 5-star venues (this year's Torah U'Mesorah 'Inaugural Presidents Conference, will be at the PGA resort in Palm Springs Garden, Flordia) to be in bad taste. Can someone book the conference, should it be a necessity, a Holiday Inn for 2009?
Mr. Schick makes some suggestions are cutting the 'small' expenses (he is a consistent advocate for staff):
-Energy saving [This one would be nice. My husband davened at a local school on the high holidays and my son kept asking him why the last one out of the empty classroom didn't turn off the lights, as is protocol in his school. My question was why the air conditioning was set at 65 degrees].
-Reduction in mailing costs [Amen! And I would add to that that not everything needs to be photocopied. Cutting down on printing cost would be no small savings. Our niece's school, I am told, has a full time employee who does nothing but run photocopies. In the public school I attended, teachers were limited to a certain number of photocopies per year. . . and they had to make them themselves. One of my teachers got into a bit of trouble with the photocopy machine and we learned of this rule].
-"Recognizing that successful fundraising is dependent on trust and direct contacts and not on a school sending a costly gift to thousands of names purchased from some outside source." [See my review of an article in Accounting Today about what fundraising in a down economy. Cultivating committed relationships is key].
-"Cut back on the costs associated with the annual dinner. The invitations can be more modest, the gifts given to the honorees and others who attend can be less costly and I believe that other savings can be instituted." [Rings true here. Should I tell you about a banquet that had a 12 piece band, a super-sized smorg followed by a 3 course meals and a dessert bar, and, oh yes, ice sculptures?].
-Seek new contributors (Mr. Schick adds, "fundraising that depends on expensive initial outlays is not the way to go)."
Mr. Schick really doles out the much needed mussar when he writes: "In the aggregate, our schools spend a million dollars or more on the annual Torah Umesorah convention that takes place after Pesach. Since many of them are behind in payroll, I wonder whether there is a halachic justification for such an expenditure when underpaid teachers are not being paid on time." I would add that one of the worst thing a school could do at this point is appear to be living it up, while staff is not receiving payment as due, on time, and in full. Staff retention will be important during tough economic times.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Five Towns Jewish Times published an article on the 'Fundraising Crisis.' The downturn in the economy has resulted in a long overdue discussion about where to place priorities in fundraising. While bochurim in Israel pray for the parnasah of their supporters as kollel families sink deeper, a discussion about how to keep yeshivot up and running here in America is ensuing. Scholarship requests are up, fundraising is down, and debts are mounting. The author interviews a yeshiva executive and fundraiser who predicts that things will get worse and makes some suggestions including:
-larger class sizes
-no pay raises for staff for the upcoming years and perhaps for years to come
-moratorium on outside-the-community fundraising until the economic situation stabilizes
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is sad news: Major Fundraiser Can't write the Check. The funder of the Queens Gymnasia and other free Jewish schools is no longer able to foot the bill. I've noticed a lot of class warfare recently due to the elections, even amongst the frum community. Many seem to wish ill on the wealthy. Those who want to punish the "rich" should take a moment to think about what might be lost should markets worsen and taxes increase. 'Nuff said.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have they no shame?: I'm sure no one would offer their Rabbi a ham and cheese sandwitch? But "The Rebbitzen's Husband" was offered help cheating on his taxes via money laundering techniques. Oy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonathan Rosenblum has an article "Keep it Simple" (Hat Tip: Esther) where he recommends that to prepare children for the realities of life we should "Teach them to live simply without feeling deprived." Perhaps one of the the biggest obstacle being happy with your lot is getting over the need to conform which Mr. Rosenblum touches upon. Mr. Rosenblum mentions out-of-control weddings expenditures that eat Orthodox families alive. Mentioning aufrufs and sheva berachot that resemble mini-weddings and other indulgences are all fine suggestions of where cuts can be made. But, if you don't tackle the conformity issue (I happen to believe becomes more powerful the more 'right' you go), head on, you will run into a brick wall even where Torah sages such as Rav Aharon Leib Steinman "[stress] the necessity of getting away from [the] “everybody does it,” mentality [which is] no excuse to go into debt" because few are willing to break rank.
I would add that if you want your children to live simply without feeling deprived, it is best to "break rank" voluntarily, rather than be pushed into breaking rank because funds have dried up. Being in charge is a positive feeling. Being backed into a corner is a negative feeling.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Entitlement: Some Words to Wisdom
Encouraging Personal Responsibility
I picked up a light, yet insightful book at the library. It is a book about friends, family, and money titled Isn't It Their Turn to Pick Up the Check?: Dealing with All of the Trickiest Money Problems Between Family and Friends -- from Serial Borrowers to Serious Cheapskates by Jeanne Fleming and Leonard Schwarz. It is written in a question and answer format and includes some tidbits and poll results from Money Magazine. So far I'm enjoying the light reading and I have decided to post a few excerpts that are related to subjects we've discussed on this blog.
My son the architect versus my son the actor
When it comes to family, should the professionals support the artists?
Question: I have two sons, Tyler and Jeremy. Tyler, who graduated from Brown three years ago, is a a talented actor trying to make it in New York. Jeremy, who's about to start a graduate program in architecture, is a savvy, ambitious guy who I'm sure will have a very successful career. Recently, Tyler told me he realized that, even though he was the "big brother" in the family, he'd probably end up looking to Jeremy for help, instead of the other way around, since most actors are poor. The problem is, Jeremy's a bit of a tightwad. What can I do to encourage my younger son to realize he needs to help Tyler?
Answer: You're asking the wrong questions. You should be asking what you can do to encourage Tyler to take responsibility for his financial future, rather than bolstering his belief that he can rely on handouts from his brother.
It's not that we think you're wrong to want Jeremy to be generous. But Tyler is making important decisions about his life right now, decisions that will play a critical role in determining how much money he has in the future. One of the things he needs to realize is that life involves making trade-offs, and that if he is going to pursue a career such as acting, he may well live less comfortably than if he chose a different career. In particular, Tyler shouldn't be encourage to think that there are no trade-offs because brother Jeremy will make up the difference for him. Neither should he imagine, as a would-be actor, he is exempt from the ethical obligation we all have to provide for ourselves.
And there's one more thing to consider. In order to have that successful career you envision him having, Jeremy is going to have to work very hard. Generally the people willing to do that are not indifferent to money. In fact, they typically have plans of their own for the money they earn, and the plans of even the most generous among them rarely include perpetually passing out big chunks of cash to healthy, intelligent, well-educated siblings who have chosen not to concern themselves with how much they make.
Encouraging Personal Responsibility
I picked up a light, yet insightful book at the library. It is a book about friends, family, and money titled Isn't It Their Turn to Pick Up the Check?: Dealing with All of the Trickiest Money Problems Between Family and Friends -- from Serial Borrowers to Serious Cheapskates by Jeanne Fleming and Leonard Schwarz. It is written in a question and answer format and includes some tidbits and poll results from Money Magazine. So far I'm enjoying the light reading and I have decided to post a few excerpts that are related to subjects we've discussed on this blog.
My son the architect versus my son the actor
When it comes to family, should the professionals support the artists?
Question: I have two sons, Tyler and Jeremy. Tyler, who graduated from Brown three years ago, is a a talented actor trying to make it in New York. Jeremy, who's about to start a graduate program in architecture, is a savvy, ambitious guy who I'm sure will have a very successful career. Recently, Tyler told me he realized that, even though he was the "big brother" in the family, he'd probably end up looking to Jeremy for help, instead of the other way around, since most actors are poor. The problem is, Jeremy's a bit of a tightwad. What can I do to encourage my younger son to realize he needs to help Tyler?
Answer: You're asking the wrong questions. You should be asking what you can do to encourage Tyler to take responsibility for his financial future, rather than bolstering his belief that he can rely on handouts from his brother.
It's not that we think you're wrong to want Jeremy to be generous. But Tyler is making important decisions about his life right now, decisions that will play a critical role in determining how much money he has in the future. One of the things he needs to realize is that life involves making trade-offs, and that if he is going to pursue a career such as acting, he may well live less comfortably than if he chose a different career. In particular, Tyler shouldn't be encourage to think that there are no trade-offs because brother Jeremy will make up the difference for him. Neither should he imagine, as a would-be actor, he is exempt from the ethical obligation we all have to provide for ourselves.
And there's one more thing to consider. In order to have that successful career you envision him having, Jeremy is going to have to work very hard. Generally the people willing to do that are not indifferent to money. In fact, they typically have plans of their own for the money they earn, and the plans of even the most generous among them rarely include perpetually passing out big chunks of cash to healthy, intelligent, well-educated siblings who have chosen not to concern themselves with how much they make.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Seminary on the Butcher Block
Note: Please keep asking questions on the Tuition Crisis Shiur thread. Thanks!
Many Jewish publications have been running letters decrying the seminary year. Earlier in this year, the Yated had weeks worth of letters decrying the cost. YWN recently ran a letter that generated 181 comments and it appears the consensus is that parents are none too happy about this "required" expense. ProfK recently posted her own opinion (see here and here) that seminary (and yeshiva) year is a luxury that the Orthodox community as a whole can no longer afford and it time for it to hit the butcher block.
Personally, I can't imagine getting our own children through the 6th grade (we should be so lucky), much less paying for an additional year or two of seminary/yeshiva at the cost of $20,000 in today's dollars plus extras (I'm told Shabbat meals are one of those "extras" for girls, while boys get fed). Housing and tuition already dominate the frum budget to the point where I'm surprised so many have been able to undergo the seminary cost up to this point. So I'm quite sympathetic to the arguments against undergoing this massive cost. And make no mistake, the cost is tremendous, especially as it follows 13 years of private schooling and the coming costs of college and/or vocational training are waiting in the wings.
However, I have serious reservations with the "no seminary" movement which seems to be picking up steam. And that issue is that if some superfluous cost is going to be on the butcher block (and we have what to choose from), why in the world it is a year of post-high school Torah school that has hit the firing line, with so much appeal, first?
The arguments against seminary are not just financial, but if we are only talking dollars and cents and real cash money exists (I have seen debt recommended to fund the seminary year, but I generally take exception to debt financing), I'd say spend the money for the wedding on a year of concentrated Torah learning, and then proceed to serve cake and punch for the wedding. I'd say that putting the seminary year on the cutting board before the typical Orthodox wedding hits the butcher block just isn't right.
On a related note: I think parents do a real disservice to their children when they pay for an expensive wedding and leave their children to pick up the tab for their education. There are frum men and women carrying around tremendous amounts of student loan debt who were married off "in style." I'm sure we could spend hours discussing parents' obligations to fund higher education. I am just pointing out that it makes no sense to me to spend money on a stylish wedding at the expense of introducing more financial stress into the couple's life.
Note: Please keep asking questions on the Tuition Crisis Shiur thread. Thanks!
Many Jewish publications have been running letters decrying the seminary year. Earlier in this year, the Yated had weeks worth of letters decrying the cost. YWN recently ran a letter that generated 181 comments and it appears the consensus is that parents are none too happy about this "required" expense. ProfK recently posted her own opinion (see here and here) that seminary (and yeshiva) year is a luxury that the Orthodox community as a whole can no longer afford and it time for it to hit the butcher block.
Personally, I can't imagine getting our own children through the 6th grade (we should be so lucky), much less paying for an additional year or two of seminary/yeshiva at the cost of $20,000 in today's dollars plus extras (I'm told Shabbat meals are one of those "extras" for girls, while boys get fed). Housing and tuition already dominate the frum budget to the point where I'm surprised so many have been able to undergo the seminary cost up to this point. So I'm quite sympathetic to the arguments against undergoing this massive cost. And make no mistake, the cost is tremendous, especially as it follows 13 years of private schooling and the coming costs of college and/or vocational training are waiting in the wings.
However, I have serious reservations with the "no seminary" movement which seems to be picking up steam. And that issue is that if some superfluous cost is going to be on the butcher block (and we have what to choose from), why in the world it is a year of post-high school Torah school that has hit the firing line, with so much appeal, first?
The arguments against seminary are not just financial, but if we are only talking dollars and cents and real cash money exists (I have seen debt recommended to fund the seminary year, but I generally take exception to debt financing), I'd say spend the money for the wedding on a year of concentrated Torah learning, and then proceed to serve cake and punch for the wedding. I'd say that putting the seminary year on the cutting board before the typical Orthodox wedding hits the butcher block just isn't right.
On a related note: I think parents do a real disservice to their children when they pay for an expensive wedding and leave their children to pick up the tab for their education. There are frum men and women carrying around tremendous amounts of student loan debt who were married off "in style." I'm sure we could spend hours discussing parents' obligations to fund higher education. I am just pointing out that it makes no sense to me to spend money on a stylish wedding at the expense of introducing more financial stress into the couple's life.
Monday, November 10, 2008
But He Gives So Much Tzedakah. . . . . . . .
Seems the cases involving serious lack of yashrut continue to (sadly) clog up the news board over at Vos Iz Neias. What sets about dishonest dealings in the frum community apart from dishonest dealings in the general community are the beneficiaries. One of the primary beneficiaries in the frum community is (r"l) the rest of the community, either directly or indirectly, be it through Tomchei,
The main defense that plays out again again is that those who have found themselves in serious trouble with the law is that they are ba'alei tzedakah. I don't believe one can fulfill the mitzva of tzedakah on someone else's dime, be it the unpaid employee or corporation, the investor who was tricked by false representation, or the taxpayer.
Given the flimsy defense "but he is a ba'al tzedakah" one cannot help but notice the disconnect between earning an honest dollar and being able to give tzedakah. As a parent, we all want our children to make certain connections in their developing minds about how the world works. One connection many parents hope to imprint into young minds is that "money doesn't grow on trees." Making this connection involves demonstrating and enforcing delayed gratification, prioritizing, and (yes) saying "no."
A connection that the parents who wants to make yashrut a natural quality, no doubt wants their children to understand that tzedakah also does not "grow on trees." Yet, how do we teach our children about giving tzedakah? Outside my own son's school door it would appear that tzedakah money does "grow on trees." The coins that the children bring are that of their parents.
I don't believe I've ever been accused of being too conventional. This year we decided it was time to help our children make a concrete connection between working and giving tzedakah, and we established a system of payment for chores that go above our basic call of duty. (Before you read on, please note that I discussed this less than conventional plan with the kodesh teacher who liked the idea very much).
Now when my son does a large project for me that is beyond basic expectations like putting dirty socks in the laundry and dishes in th sink, I count out pennies for him before bedtime. We don't have to pay much at this age, but most jobs pay ten pennies (putting away folded laundry). Once he is paid, he separates his pennies into two stacks, earnings and tzedakah. I explain to him each time that he can choose to give either 1 or 2 pennies to tzedakah and the rest goes into his piggy bank.
I don't know how long I will continue this system (perhaps when he raids his piggy bank and discovers he can't buy much), but as it stands right now, I'm very happy with the results. He shows a great amount of pride in taking his own money to school to put in the tzedakah box. He rarely forgets to take a penny in the morning and getting everything ready for school gives him a lot of purpose because he has ownership. And, he volunteers to do 'work' when he sees the coins in his tzedakah jar diminish.
I hope my children make he connection between making an honest living and giving an honest dollar. I'm sure that they will have plenty of time to be exposed to the 'dan l'chaf zechut' of much of the Orthodox community. But before they are exposed to every defense under the sun for dishonesty, I hope we can train their reflexes so that yashrut is the natural impulse.
Seems the cases involving serious lack of yashrut continue to (sadly) clog up the news board over at Vos Iz Neias. What sets about dishonest dealings in the frum community apart from dishonest dealings in the general community are the beneficiaries. One of the primary beneficiaries in the frum community is (r"l) the rest of the community, either directly or indirectly, be it through Tomchei,
The main defense that plays out again again is that those who have found themselves in serious trouble with the law is that they are ba'alei tzedakah. I don't believe one can fulfill the mitzva of tzedakah on someone else's dime, be it the unpaid employee or corporation, the investor who was tricked by false representation, or the taxpayer.
Given the flimsy defense "but he is a ba'al tzedakah" one cannot help but notice the disconnect between earning an honest dollar and being able to give tzedakah. As a parent, we all want our children to make certain connections in their developing minds about how the world works. One connection many parents hope to imprint into young minds is that "money doesn't grow on trees." Making this connection involves demonstrating and enforcing delayed gratification, prioritizing, and (yes) saying "no."
A connection that the parents who wants to make yashrut a natural quality, no doubt wants their children to understand that tzedakah also does not "grow on trees." Yet, how do we teach our children about giving tzedakah? Outside my own son's school door it would appear that tzedakah money does "grow on trees." The coins that the children bring are that of their parents.
I don't believe I've ever been accused of being too conventional. This year we decided it was time to help our children make a concrete connection between working and giving tzedakah, and we established a system of payment for chores that go above our basic call of duty. (Before you read on, please note that I discussed this less than conventional plan with the kodesh teacher who liked the idea very much).
Now when my son does a large project for me that is beyond basic expectations like putting dirty socks in the laundry and dishes in th sink, I count out pennies for him before bedtime. We don't have to pay much at this age, but most jobs pay ten pennies (putting away folded laundry). Once he is paid, he separates his pennies into two stacks, earnings and tzedakah. I explain to him each time that he can choose to give either 1 or 2 pennies to tzedakah and the rest goes into his piggy bank.
I don't know how long I will continue this system (perhaps when he raids his piggy bank and discovers he can't buy much), but as it stands right now, I'm very happy with the results. He shows a great amount of pride in taking his own money to school to put in the tzedakah box. He rarely forgets to take a penny in the morning and getting everything ready for school gives him a lot of purpose because he has ownership. And, he volunteers to do 'work' when he sees the coins in his tzedakah jar diminish.
I hope my children make he connection between making an honest living and giving an honest dollar. I'm sure that they will have plenty of time to be exposed to the 'dan l'chaf zechut' of much of the Orthodox community. But before they are exposed to every defense under the sun for dishonesty, I hope we can train their reflexes so that yashrut is the natural impulse.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
A Tuition Crisis Shiur
A fellow blogger wrote to me that someone is arranging a shiur which will deal with the halachic and hashkafic issues raised by the "tuition crisis." He is looking to gather input and questions, but does not want to start WWIII either.
I plan to update this post when time allows with my own questions and thoughts. In the meantime, just because I have nothing to write as I close up shop for the night, doesn't mean you can't get a head start. So, please post your input and questions and they will be passed on to the organizer and prominent speaker.
Make your blog time worthwhile and share you questions and input. Thanks!
A fellow blogger wrote to me that someone is arranging a shiur which will deal with the halachic and hashkafic issues raised by the "tuition crisis." He is looking to gather input and questions, but does not want to start WWIII either.
I plan to update this post when time allows with my own questions and thoughts. In the meantime, just because I have nothing to write as I close up shop for the night, doesn't mean you can't get a head start. So, please post your input and questions and they will be passed on to the organizer and prominent speaker.
Make your blog time worthwhile and share you questions and input. Thanks!
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Hachnasat Bar Mitzvah Bochur
A friend sent this tzedakah request from the Five Towns list serve over to my email box.
[unedited] A family in the 5 towns recently lost there business.There son is to be bar mitzvaed. [date deleted] if anyone could help with the following:
1)money for music
clothes
food
hall
prizes for kids
candy to throw
Thank You
[phone number deleted]
It is there oldest son. Times just became so hard. If anyone has ideas or donations please let me know.
CHAG SAMEACH!
I have no issues with helping a bar mitzvah boy whose parents have lost their business mark the occasion of becoming a Jewish adult. Yet, this request is so bogged down in pork that it is gross. Anyone notice what necessary item(s) is missing from the request???
Certainly families who are facing rough times (and there are an increasing number of families who are facing tough times ahead) will need tzedakah and the support of the klal. I will give the benefit of the doubt and assume the family of the bar mitzvah boy is not requesting candy bags and prizes for children in addition to money for a hall, food, clothing, and music, and will assume the family that is leading this "hachnasat bar mitzvah bochur" drive only wants to put the boy on equal footing with the rest of his classmates. But, tzedakah funds are limited and are bound to become even more limited. We cannot be providing prizes for kids and music for a bar mitzvah boy at the expense of helping a family get back on their feet, budget, etc. We need to straighten out our priorities and quick. Last I checked, there is no mitzvah of hachnasat bar mitzvah bochur.
Now I would like to feature a post from the Kallah Magazine blog written by Ariella because it sums up the subject at hand perfectly:
Don't Mind the Budget Gap
You've heard of people with champagne taste and beer budgets? For some people there is a definite gap between what they could afford and what they want. In the past, wisdom dictated that such people get grounded in reality and learn to like the beer they could afford and give up on hankering for what was beyond their financial grasp. But that is not the attitude I see today. Instead, those who can only afford beer insist, not only on champagne but on the finest imported French bottles and only from the very best years of vintage, metaphorically speaking, of course. So if the drinkers of champagne cannot afford to pay for it, who is to foot the bill? Other people, of course.
On the neighborhood email list, I am constantly seeing requests for money or other types of handouts from people who are not destitute but who just don't want to do without. And those who are getting married seem to have the greatest sense of entitlement. For example, a few weeks ago a prospective groom who is getting married in one of the higher priced venues in the area (by his own account in his post) wanted someone to pay for his brother's plane ticket so that he could fly in for the wedding. Today I saw one announcing he is getting married July 6th [originally posted May 28] and can't afford a wedding hall. Well, what of the food? And it simply amazes me that he has set the date without ascertaining availability of venue. Also the date is a Sunday -- a champagne day-- one that caterers, florists, photographers, etc. are not nearly as negotiable on price for as they are for a weeknight.
Another prospective groom who is finishing his degree at YU now and marrying in early summer says he and his kallah need a lot to furnish their new home. He had a follow-up email that indicated he was not interested in suggestion so much as actual tangible contributions. In other words, he did not want directions to the pub that serves cheap beer, but a gift of a case of champagne. I don't know why he anticipates no wedding gifts that could help cover their household needs and demands that this community furnish him in advance. In contrast, when we got married, all my husband and I bought were 2 beds with dressers, tables, and chairs contributed from what was in our parents' homes. We used our gifts of china (not an expensive type), silverware, etc., and what we couldn't use we exchanged (if possible) for what we could. And, yes, we lived with no living or dining room set for quite a long time until inheriting the former and only buying the latter some time after buying our first house. I don't really think I would enjoy the taste of champagne, knowing it was given as charity when I could make do on my own.
A friend sent this tzedakah request from the Five Towns list serve over to my email box.
[unedited] A family in the 5 towns recently lost there business.There son is to be bar mitzvaed. [date deleted] if anyone could help with the following:
1)money for music
clothes
food
hall
prizes for kids
candy to throw
Thank You
[phone number deleted]
It is there oldest son. Times just became so hard. If anyone has ideas or donations please let me know.
CHAG SAMEACH!
I have no issues with helping a bar mitzvah boy whose parents have lost their business mark the occasion of becoming a Jewish adult. Yet, this request is so bogged down in pork that it is gross. Anyone notice what necessary item(s) is missing from the request???
Certainly families who are facing rough times (and there are an increasing number of families who are facing tough times ahead) will need tzedakah and the support of the klal. I will give the benefit of the doubt and assume the family of the bar mitzvah boy is not requesting candy bags and prizes for children in addition to money for a hall, food, clothing, and music, and will assume the family that is leading this "hachnasat bar mitzvah bochur" drive only wants to put the boy on equal footing with the rest of his classmates. But, tzedakah funds are limited and are bound to become even more limited. We cannot be providing prizes for kids and music for a bar mitzvah boy at the expense of helping a family get back on their feet, budget, etc. We need to straighten out our priorities and quick. Last I checked, there is no mitzvah of hachnasat bar mitzvah bochur.
Now I would like to feature a post from the Kallah Magazine blog written by Ariella because it sums up the subject at hand perfectly:
Don't Mind the Budget Gap
You've heard of people with champagne taste and beer budgets? For some people there is a definite gap between what they could afford and what they want. In the past, wisdom dictated that such people get grounded in reality and learn to like the beer they could afford and give up on hankering for what was beyond their financial grasp. But that is not the attitude I see today. Instead, those who can only afford beer insist, not only on champagne but on the finest imported French bottles and only from the very best years of vintage, metaphorically speaking, of course. So if the drinkers of champagne cannot afford to pay for it, who is to foot the bill? Other people, of course.
On the neighborhood email list, I am constantly seeing requests for money or other types of handouts from people who are not destitute but who just don't want to do without. And those who are getting married seem to have the greatest sense of entitlement. For example, a few weeks ago a prospective groom who is getting married in one of the higher priced venues in the area (by his own account in his post) wanted someone to pay for his brother's plane ticket so that he could fly in for the wedding. Today I saw one announcing he is getting married July 6th [originally posted May 28] and can't afford a wedding hall. Well, what of the food? And it simply amazes me that he has set the date without ascertaining availability of venue. Also the date is a Sunday -- a champagne day-- one that caterers, florists, photographers, etc. are not nearly as negotiable on price for as they are for a weeknight.
Another prospective groom who is finishing his degree at YU now and marrying in early summer says he and his kallah need a lot to furnish their new home. He had a follow-up email that indicated he was not interested in suggestion so much as actual tangible contributions. In other words, he did not want directions to the pub that serves cheap beer, but a gift of a case of champagne. I don't know why he anticipates no wedding gifts that could help cover their household needs and demands that this community furnish him in advance. In contrast, when we got married, all my husband and I bought were 2 beds with dressers, tables, and chairs contributed from what was in our parents' homes. We used our gifts of china (not an expensive type), silverware, etc., and what we couldn't use we exchanged (if possible) for what we could. And, yes, we lived with no living or dining room set for quite a long time until inheriting the former and only buying the latter some time after buying our first house. I don't really think I would enjoy the taste of champagne, knowing it was given as charity when I could make do on my own.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)