tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post113997981422651974..comments2024-03-24T05:22:27.179-04:00Comments on Orthonomics: Orthonomicshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07892074485262548496noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-1140499950414174852006-02-21T00:32:00.000-05:002006-02-21T00:32:00.000-05:00We have been on their back - each time, "We're wai...We have been on their back - each time, "We're waiting to get them back from the lab." Grrr...Ezziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12494592434522239195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-1140489091198833252006-02-20T21:31:00.000-05:002006-02-20T21:31:00.000-05:00Thanks for adding Ezzie. As for photographers, th...Thanks for adding Ezzie. As for photographers, they are notorious for not getting the photos back. I would get on the photographers back. I know someone who NEVER received their photos. After all that time taking the photos, one would like to get them back.Orthonomicshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07892074485262548496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-1140132992222044122006-02-16T18:36:00.000-05:002006-02-16T18:36:00.000-05:00Oh, check out the pics, too - you can see that hap...Oh, check out the pics, too - you can see that happiness comes without the $$<BR/><BR/>:) <A HREF="http://onlysimchas.com/galleries/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewsimcha&simchaid=21720&simchatypeid=6" REL="nofollow">Engagement</A>, <A HREF="http://onlysimchas.com/galleries/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewsimcha&simchaid=25471&simchatypeid=7" REL="nofollow">Wedding</A>.Ezziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12494592434522239195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-1140132769248497332006-02-16T18:32:00.000-05:002006-02-16T18:32:00.000-05:00I really liked this post!All right...1. Avoid maki...I really liked this post!<BR/><BR/>All right...<BR/><BR/><I>1. Avoid making a Vort.</I><BR/><BR/>I agree! We had one. I didn't understand it then, and I still don't. The "l'chaim" the night we got engaged was a) a lot more fun; b) cost almost nothing; and c) more friends were able to make it to the former, not the latter.<BR/><BR/>Even saying that, our vort was cheap: We have great pictures from my mom's camera and my MIL's, and we wore typical Shabbos clothes. Plus, our families did get to meet a bit more, as my parents came in for Shabbos and other family came early to the vort.<BR/><BR/>2) I don't understand why there are engagement gifts at all, save the ring. By us, each set of parents wanted to get the new s/d in-law something. My guess is each spent around $100. I still don't get it, but it made everyone happy, and wasn't breaking the bank. Fine.<BR/><BR/>3) Amen. We got one with a huge dance floor 3 minutes from my in-laws - it was nice, clean, and not too expensive (AFAIK).<BR/><BR/>4) We had no bar. Who needs it?! If the friends can't be 'b'simcha' without liquor, they shouldn't be your friends. A couple (more shy) friends have said it makes it easier to dance a little more or do shtick - I hear that, but then a couple bottles at the beginning should be fine for everybody.<BR/><BR/>We had just fruits-type stuff at the shmorg, IIRC. No hot foods at all, actually. Fish, pasta, fruits, etc. Nobody complained - some thought it was great. Saved a TON of $$.<BR/><BR/>My wife loves purple, but my mom already had something in gold. So the moms wore their own gold stuff, and the sisters et al wore whatever they found and liked in purple. No "matching" this or that, and they can wear the stuff again... except that most of them were borrowed, which is really cheap. :)<BR/><BR/>5) We did this for the band, and discovered that the band we loved from Baltimore (true mensch, Nussi Gross) was cheaper than the ones in NY - even to bring north. Plus, they don't play too loud, which is an obnoxious trait of most bands.<BR/><BR/>6) We got most pics out of the way early, and everyone was told in advance where to be for pics. They went quickly and smoothly.<BR/><BR/>7) You're right, to an extent - some of the better 'shtick' and pics are in the second set, for 2 reasons: It's mostly only good friends/family dancing by then, and people are more comfortable to do the shtick then.<BR/><BR/>8) Make sure that included in the contract is something about how long it will take to receive your pictures. We still haven't gotten ours. (almost 20 months) The video was great, though - especially because you can't see what goes on in the other rooms/side.<BR/><BR/>9) Amen. Nussi Gross was so nice (and no, I don't get commission), he didn't force anything. I'm pretty sure we only had 1-2 players for the badekin, 1 for the chuppah, and 5 for the wedding - and his 5 was cheaper than most people's 4.<BR/><BR/>10) Yes!! Our first one was a simple, casual, one at my wife's uncle; then came Shabbos at the in-laws and a neighbor of theirs - nice, nothing too fancy; then we went to my sister for a July 4th BBQ Sheva Brachos in Baltimore; then, our only one in Cleveland (where most hadn't been to the wedding), was dressy - which by Cle. standards meant Shabbos clothes in a neighbor's home. Our last one would've been 17 Tamuz, so we got out of one and rested. I'd guess that no Sheva Brachos cost more than a few hundred dollars - which isn't bad for like 20 people per.<BR/><BR/>(Sorry so long!! A fav topic of mine...!)Ezziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12494592434522239195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-1140033166897635362006-02-15T14:52:00.000-05:002006-02-15T14:52:00.000-05:001. Avoid making a Vort.We didn't have one. Instead...1. Avoid making a Vort.<BR/><BR/>We didn't have one. Instead, some friends threw us a pot luck party with a boom box providing the music. Simple. No expense.<BR/><BR/>3. When seeking a wedding hall, do your homework.<BR/><BR/>We got married in her shul. I think it cost us $250. It was far more beautiful and memorable than the generic wedding halls most people rent.<BR/><BR/>4. Not all things that are found at weddings are necessities <BR/><BR/>We had no alcohol and went for the small dessert table. We served fish rather than meat, which saved money and allowed us to serve ice cream and dairy pastries for dessert! We didn't do matching dresses. I bought a new suit at Men's Wearhouse and Paula ordered a wedding dress for $500 or so from an internet site. (It wasn't easy to find a nearly tzinut wedding dress and even that one had to be altered a little. She gave it to a bridal gemachs after the wedding.)<BR/><BR/>8. Photography and videography are tempting.<BR/><BR/>We skipped the video but got very nice still pictures both from an official photographer and our friends.<BR/><BR/>10. Once the wedding is over, make sure sheva brachot <BR/><BR/>Amen! Basically, friends treated us to big pot luck meals every night but one for the next week -- and that was it!<BR/><BR/>I was 47 and she 44 when we got married. We really didn't want to be paying off the wedding with our social security checks. We had 140 guests and managed to pay just a little over $10,000 for everything.<BR/><BR/>And a year later we are still in love and have absolutely no regrets.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-1140030021831295152006-02-15T14:00:00.000-05:002006-02-15T14:00:00.000-05:00Exorbitant must be a really hard word to spell bec...Exorbitant must be a really hard word to spell because I mispelled it also in my and the spellchecker couldn't even make a replacement suggestion because it was so bad.Orthonomicshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07892074485262548496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-1140026795056565342006-02-15T13:06:00.000-05:002006-02-15T13:06:00.000-05:00By the way, I went back and looked at my original ...By the way, I went back and looked at my original comment - I really, really mispelled the word "exorbitant." Thank you for correcting my spelling, I would have felt pretty stupid if it was re-printed the way I spelled it.Yitzchak Jakobihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00705484909251481064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-1140024002496178322006-02-15T12:20:00.000-05:002006-02-15T12:20:00.000-05:00Joe, We also were older when we married. I think ...Joe, We also were older when we married. I think that our life experience was extremely valuable in planning a wedding. We approached the vendors with an attitude of authority that one builds after a few years in the professional world. <BR/><BR/>Our vendors never tried to pull a fast one, if they did (like your band did) they wouldn't have got very far because Mommy and Daddy were not around the corner to rescue us from ourselves. <BR/><BR/>Thanks for adding your comments. I'm glad to see you coming around.Orthonomicshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07892074485262548496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-1140020967176108732006-02-15T11:29:00.000-05:002006-02-15T11:29:00.000-05:001. I like cutting out the vort. At most, a small...1. I like cutting out the vort. At most, a small l'chaim should suffice. My wife and I had no time for a vort so just cut it out completely.<BR/><BR/>2. On issue about wedding bands is that they can be very pushy. After the contract was signed - indeed, days before the wedding, the band I was using called me to request my agreement to add two people to the band (we had agreed to a 5 member band). I said no, it would cost too much. Then, they had the lead singer call me to say that without adding these two people, given the size of the wedding hall, etc., the music would be too loud and he would not be able to perform at an optimal level. I responded that in that case he should ask the company to give me the two people for free, since they irresponsibly agreed to sign a contract for performance at that hall with "only" five members. That was the last I heard of it. For what it's worth, I was 29 when I got married - I'd think many kids getting married at 22 or 23 may, in the same situation, run to mom and dad and asked for the $ to add more band members.Joe Schickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13787943707690232610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-1140017171261117792006-02-15T10:26:00.000-05:002006-02-15T10:26:00.000-05:00I agree with you 100%. My wife and I planned our ...I agree with you 100%. My wife and I planned our own wedding and we cut costs wherever we could. A couple things that we did: A large percentage of the people that attended were invited to the chupah, we bought our own wine and liquor (the liquor consisted of two bottles of scotch for the Chasan's Tish), and used a bencher and flower gemach. We were also fortunate to get very good deals on the hall, catering, and band because of my wife's connections. We were both very happy with our wedding, and our family really enjoyed the event. <BR/><BR/>It just seems crazy to me that people spend a fortune that they could use to start their lives together on a single day.Yitzchak Jakobihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00705484909251481064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-1140015409588202942006-02-15T09:56:00.000-05:002006-02-15T09:56:00.000-05:00I'm all smiles Orthomom. And, I'm thankful to my ...I'm all smiles Orthomom. And, I'm thankful to my readers for pointing me in great directions.Orthonomicshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07892074485262548496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-1140011067027540872006-02-15T08:44:00.000-05:002006-02-15T08:44:00.000-05:00Great post. This is shaping up to be a fascinating...Great post. This is shaping up to be a fascinating blog.orthomomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10263941672605864501noreply@blogger.com