tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post8625344437837080978..comments2024-03-24T05:22:27.179-04:00Comments on Orthonomics: Orthonomicshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07892074485262548496noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-44600661597270851542008-02-04T17:17:00.000-05:002008-02-04T17:17:00.000-05:00Yoni's comment made me think of how my husband som...Yoni's comment made me think of how my husband sometimes asks me for cash. But he is not on an allowance. He just rarely goes to the bank. His pay (and mine, when I get) go right in with direct deposit. So I have to make a planned visit to the bank to obtain cash.Ariella's bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09409352047101582583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-31246132845184464462008-02-01T12:51:00.000-05:002008-02-01T12:51:00.000-05:00Household income - that is a big one. I'm sure we...Household income - that is a big one. I'm sure we've all heard of sad cases where a spouse hid their unemployment and/or credit card spending from the other spouse until it was too late. I even heard of a situation where the wife didn't find out until the house was foreclosed. (This specific situation was not someone in the frum community.) <BR/><BR/>Also, in the unfortunate case when paychecks are not being issued on time (or at all), the spouse should be made aware. We have come a long way in handling our finances, but during the first year we were married we had this situation come up. By the time I noticed the missing money, several months had gone by during which DH could have left the position and taken other work.Estherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09546504942311091442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-67247580181204580852008-01-31T20:55:00.000-05:002008-01-31T20:55:00.000-05:00Growing up, I became aware that my mother knew ver...Growing up, I became aware that my mother knew very little about the household finances, and while it has worked out fine in her case, that wasn't an arrangement that I'm comfortable with. We have a habit of consulting with each other about very close to everything, and it works for us.<BR/><BR/>For us, since I'm more detail-oriented (control freak), I handle the majority of the day-to-day nitty gritty (paying bills, balancing accounts). <BR/><BR/>RaggedyDad is better at figuring out the big picture side of things - decisions, self-evaluation, pros and cons of different financial decisions, and he can do most of the calculations in his head fairly quickly. I call him The Consultant. Or maybe he's CFO and I'm Payroll.<BR/><BR/>This is a great, and important topic! And to respond to your comment on RM, we had a great time with you guys too!RaggedyMomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01022064984702182705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-49699983971805863002008-01-31T17:50:00.000-05:002008-01-31T17:50:00.000-05:00well, actualy what she earns in the marriage is no...well, actualy what she earns in the marriage is not necessarily his.<BR/><BR/>and if he takes it from her he is usualy under strict obligations of support.<BR/><BR/>but seriously, personaly I'd rather give over the responsibility for the finances to my besheret when I marry (being a math person I have no problems tabulating and organizing accounts if she wants me to, but I'm an organizational mess and lose and missplace things so...)<BR/><BR/>and plus I tend to be a book/chocolate fiend, so i'd rather be given an allowance. I'd much rather know where said documents are, but she can deal with the particulars.<BR/><BR/>(it might be nice to write andfile a yearly accounting of obligations for the year and things payed off, so that in an emergancy they can be found quickly and you don't have a mess tranfering the work. I, however, would have great trouble keeping things in that much order.Looking Forwardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04876831969877780546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-36687507005193695732008-01-31T16:44:00.000-05:002008-01-31T16:44:00.000-05:00Apple-I was waiting for someone to bring up the ha...Apple-I was waiting for someone to bring up the halachic issues. Wait for my next post and you will see why I view this as somewhat of a non-discussion item. <BR/><BR/>Also, you didn't get the halacha quite right. What the wife brings into the marriage is hers (not his). What she earns during the marriage is his. <BR/><BR/>Nonetheless, both spouses must know what is going on in their home and ProfK is correct about knowing where the wills are.Orthonomicshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07892074485262548496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-21655430081977881472008-01-31T14:52:00.000-05:002008-01-31T14:52:00.000-05:00The spouse should also know where the husband's wi...The spouse should also know where the husband's will is and what the contents are. She herself should also have a will.<BR/><BR/>Apple, I'm sure a man could quote the chapter and verse, but the Gemora talks about the case of a woman who owns property that she brings into the marriage with her and which generates income. The property and income are hers to keep, but the man is allowed to deduct from the money he is obligated to spend on her upkeep the amount that she has in her own name.ProfKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17954446826821665314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-57684005099671754692008-01-31T10:30:00.000-05:002008-01-31T10:30:00.000-05:00It sounds like a time warp to women granted "pin m...It sounds like a time warp to women granted "pin money" by their husbands. Sometimes the amount of money would be contracted (similar to a ketubah, I suppose) though a generous husband could bestow extra gifts if he wished.<BR/>But we are supposed to now be in the 21st century beyond Victorian constraints on married women's money and the 50's version of wife as consumer/spender in opposition to husband as earner/saver in the mode of "I Love Lucy."<BR/>Unless these women on allowance really are compulsive spenders with no ability to hold back so long as there is cash to spend, their husbands who seem to be complete control freaks. And such attempts at control do encourage subversive attempts to circumvent them like the hidden accounts you mentioned.Ariella's bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09409352047101582583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-26936943224510744092008-01-31T10:02:00.000-05:002008-01-31T10:02:00.000-05:00SL, in... Sfardi households, no less (meaning thos...SL, in... Sfardi households, no less (meaning those of non European descent) this allowance business is actually quite common. I had a Syrian friend in the States (real Syrian, straight off the plane) who kept money for herself as a given. When I worked with Moroccan, Tunesian, Yemenite woman, ditto. They are either given a stipend which they sock away or they save the change from shopping. Well, things may have changed, my last experience is from many years ago but this may be a patriarchial (sp) way of household management.<BR/>Advice that I would give a women, particularly the one with his/hers/theirs accounts is to get credit established in her own name for the "just in case" - simply apply for credit under her own name only and start using that credit card.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21976303.post-7958343835270326832008-01-31T09:44:00.000-05:002008-01-31T09:44:00.000-05:00I think halakhically (but don't quote me on this) ...I think halakhically (but don't quote me on this) that when a couple gets married the man owns everything, including whatever money the wife brings into the marriage and subsequent income that she generates ... maybe that's why women have this attitude that they don't need to be involved in the finances?the applehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04756184353010645018noreply@blogger.com