There are two ways one should NOT attempt to acquire a silver menorah. Both were suggested in a thread on imamother:
1. Enter Chinese Auctions: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. If you want something, don't gamble to get it. Put the money in an envelope. Your odds of actually ending up with that special item will be much higher!
2. Borrow from a Gemach (free loan society). Even if a free loan society does not technically give tzedakah (loans are to be repaid, but there is a still a element of tzedakah insofar as opportunity cost), and even if a free loan society does not ask the recipient of funds what they will be used for, the purpose of a free loan society, as I understand it, is to invest in something bigger. Somehow, a silver menorah doesn't top my list of investments and it seems wrong to suggest that money (a scarce good) should be taken from pot so that a young married can purchase a menorah, leaving less for a proprietor to purchase a new oven for a bakery, a parent to fund an emergency operation for a child, or a student to complete the final semester of medical school. Money is not unlimited.
It is no wonder that the profile of the average tzedakah recipient is changing, the subject of my last post (with thanks to The Jewish Worker). Perhaps tzedakah organizations are becoming bailout agencies because free loan societies are becoming "interest free credit card" companies?
If a couple wants a silver menorah, and they have the means to pay back a gemach/free loan society, then they have the means to SAVE for a menorah. No need to take out a loan on the community, and no need to gamble!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
The Communal Cost of Big Money Mistakes
Hat Tip: The Jewish Worker
A few months back, one of the American Yated's regular columnists was asking readers to write in with their eitzot as to how to marry children off without going broke. Clearly, large families + massive wedding expenses do not bode well in the long-term, even where the money can be made available in the short-term. I had started a letter from an "outsider" of sorts, but in the end scrapped it. I figured there was little chance of having a letter published that read:
Advice on how to control wedding costs is readily available. Backbone is what is lacking.
Signed, SL
Maybe I should send my two sentence letter? Who doesn't love concise and to the point?
The Orthodox community as a whole is making far too many *Big Money Mistakes* and few are willing to say what needs to be said. One of the largest Big Money Mistakes clearly is the "dowry" system in which an Israeli family must offer an apartment in order to marry off their daughters. Many will still give and/or issue tzedakah teudot because "it is what it is.
The economist in me has a hard time accepting such reasoning as I believe that giving only propagates a system that will soon come back to bite us. (I know, I'm really mean!) I believe that if the money were not forthcoming, the behavior would change in a natural, organic way. There would be some pain, but it wouldn't be tremendous. Darn that economist in me. . . . . The economist in me also believes that should the behavior not change, the demands on the tzedakah pot would become far too drastic. Once again, darn that economist. . . . . .especially when her predictions are hitting the publications.
The Jewish Worker, via Mishpacha Magazine, reports on the changing the profile of your average tzedakah recipient.
A few months back, one of the American Yated's regular columnists was asking readers to write in with their eitzot as to how to marry children off without going broke. Clearly, large families + massive wedding expenses do not bode well in the long-term, even where the money can be made available in the short-term. I had started a letter from an "outsider" of sorts, but in the end scrapped it. I figured there was little chance of having a letter published that read:
Advice on how to control wedding costs is readily available. Backbone is what is lacking.
Signed, SL
Maybe I should send my two sentence letter? Who doesn't love concise and to the point?
The Orthodox community as a whole is making far too many *Big Money Mistakes* and few are willing to say what needs to be said. One of the largest Big Money Mistakes clearly is the "dowry" system in which an Israeli family must offer an apartment in order to marry off their daughters. Many will still give and/or issue tzedakah teudot because "it is what it is.
The economist in me has a hard time accepting such reasoning as I believe that giving only propagates a system that will soon come back to bite us. (I know, I'm really mean!) I believe that if the money were not forthcoming, the behavior would change in a natural, organic way. There would be some pain, but it wouldn't be tremendous. Darn that economist in me. . . . . The economist in me also believes that should the behavior not change, the demands on the tzedakah pot would become far too drastic. Once again, darn that economist. . . . . .especially when her predictions are hitting the publications.
The Jewish Worker, via Mishpacha Magazine, reports on the changing the profile of your average tzedakah recipient.
According to Kupat Hair the profile of the recipient of Tzedaka has changed dramatically. In the past most of the people who needed tzedaka were people who had undergone some tragedy, someone died, got sick, divorce etc. the average Charedi was not rich but did not need support from Kupat Hair.
In the last few years this has changed dramatically. Most of the people who now get money from Kupat Hair are regular people who are poor because they married off their children. To marry off their children they had to buy them apartments and that put them under water. They borrowed money that they could not repay and now they need tzedaka (source Michpacha newspaper).
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Here's the Problem: We Aren't Stupid
There is a post up on BeyondBT by a Rabbi who recounts his remarks at a forum on the question: "What happens when there is a scandal by a rabbinical figure in our community? How should we react?. . . "
The response was one I'm sure that most of us in the frum community have heard over and over and over again:
1. Don't Believe It: "Just because we see something written in the newspapers or over the internet, doesn’t mean I have to believe it is true! Just the opposite! We should always look at the individual as innocent until proven guilty, right?"
2. Dan L'Chaf Zechut: "There is a mitzvah to judge someone favorably even if the circumstances may appear to be incredibly incriminating."
3. Humans Make Mistakes: "We have to remember that even Rabbis are human and can make mistakes. It is very important that we judge the action and not the person. As we know, we cannot judge someone unless we have been in their exact situation."
4. Don't confuse Jews with Judaism: "If some of our own leaders are caught doing something against the law, what does it say about the community? Nothing!" and "Just because one can walk the walk and talk and the talk in frumkeit, doesn’t mean that the person is necessarily frum. It just means that they know the lingo. We have to be careful not to mix-up Jews and Judaism. "
The Rabbi then precedes to make a reference the not too far distant Spinka Case (here and here) and the Legal Symposium that followed (here and here):
"Unfortunately, the Orthodox world has not been exempt from scandals and recently there was a great rabbi who came out and spoke at length at the great tragedy that occurred with his institution. He never said it was an oversight or tried to brush it under the carpet but admitted that it was a imistake and warned people that they themselves shouldn’t make the same one!
This was true gadlus! This great sage admitted to the masses that there was a mistake made and a price to pay."
As I wrote on BeyondBT (slightly edited), here is the problem with this response in a nutshell:
we, the Orthodox public, aren’t stupid. Many of us are professionals who work day in and day out with issues of compliance. Some of us know what types of hard evidence it takes to even bring a case to trial, much more so to secure a conviction.
We know the difference between a “mistake” and a CRIME, especially organized crime which takes tremendous EFFORT and DELIBERATION to perpetrate (the case you refer to wasn’t simply a matter of forgetting to dot i’s and cross t’s, it was a fascinating case of affinity fraud/affinity crimes, worthy of a case study in Continuing Education courses).
Furthermore, when these cases continue to come to light over and over again it most certainly does say something about the community! Sadly, there are some people among us who have simply lost their moral compass, probably in part because “whitewashing” acts is all too reflexive a reaction.
The first rule of public speaking is "know your audience." I don’t know the audience that was addressed. Perhaps the answers were satisfactory for them. But, this answer which we have all heard repeatedly is hardly satisfactory. I think we are far better off saying that something is amiss in frumkeit today and that it is time to place issues of yashrut right up there with issues of kashrut.
Another rule of speaking: "sometimes less is more." In response to another case that hit the newspaper and TV headlines, the Rabbi of the community I lived in at the time said: "Despicable." Despicable works for me and I imagine it would work a lot better for the audience asking such questions.
The response was one I'm sure that most of us in the frum community have heard over and over and over again:
1. Don't Believe It: "Just because we see something written in the newspapers or over the internet, doesn’t mean I have to believe it is true! Just the opposite! We should always look at the individual as innocent until proven guilty, right?"
2. Dan L'Chaf Zechut: "There is a mitzvah to judge someone favorably even if the circumstances may appear to be incredibly incriminating."
3. Humans Make Mistakes: "We have to remember that even Rabbis are human and can make mistakes. It is very important that we judge the action and not the person. As we know, we cannot judge someone unless we have been in their exact situation."
4. Don't confuse Jews with Judaism: "If some of our own leaders are caught doing something against the law, what does it say about the community? Nothing!" and "Just because one can walk the walk and talk and the talk in frumkeit, doesn’t mean that the person is necessarily frum. It just means that they know the lingo. We have to be careful not to mix-up Jews and Judaism. "
The Rabbi then precedes to make a reference the not too far distant Spinka Case (here and here) and the Legal Symposium that followed (here and here):
"Unfortunately, the Orthodox world has not been exempt from scandals and recently there was a great rabbi who came out and spoke at length at the great tragedy that occurred with his institution. He never said it was an oversight or tried to brush it under the carpet but admitted that it was a imistake and warned people that they themselves shouldn’t make the same one!
This was true gadlus! This great sage admitted to the masses that there was a mistake made and a price to pay."
As I wrote on BeyondBT (slightly edited), here is the problem with this response in a nutshell:
we, the Orthodox public, aren’t stupid. Many of us are professionals who work day in and day out with issues of compliance. Some of us know what types of hard evidence it takes to even bring a case to trial, much more so to secure a conviction.
We know the difference between a “mistake” and a CRIME, especially organized crime which takes tremendous EFFORT and DELIBERATION to perpetrate (the case you refer to wasn’t simply a matter of forgetting to dot i’s and cross t’s, it was a fascinating case of affinity fraud/affinity crimes, worthy of a case study in Continuing Education courses).
Furthermore, when these cases continue to come to light over and over again it most certainly does say something about the community! Sadly, there are some people among us who have simply lost their moral compass, probably in part because “whitewashing” acts is all too reflexive a reaction.
The first rule of public speaking is "know your audience." I don’t know the audience that was addressed. Perhaps the answers were satisfactory for them. But, this answer which we have all heard repeatedly is hardly satisfactory. I think we are far better off saying that something is amiss in frumkeit today and that it is time to place issues of yashrut right up there with issues of kashrut.
Another rule of speaking: "sometimes less is more." In response to another case that hit the newspaper and TV headlines, the Rabbi of the community I lived in at the time said: "Despicable." Despicable works for me and I imagine it would work a lot better for the audience asking such questions.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Bribery and Recruitment for Israeli Gap Year Yeshivot
If the Jewish world had it's own NCAA, some yeshiva might be looking at sanctions. Recently, one of my readers pointed me to a thread on Lookjed forum in which the Principal of CHAT (Toronto) shared that a well-known Yeshiva in Israel bribed him by offering $1000 cash for each student he could steer their way.
Quite frankly, I'm not sure why the Rabbi has chosen to omit the name of the Yeshiva. The good news is that in each forum, there is no gray area amongst the educators on Lookjed about the ethical breach. Without exception, all who commented on the Lookjed thread and in the Jewish Week article are horrified, saddened, shocked, etc and many offer concrete suggestions as to how to improve the recruitment process, as well as stories from the past regarding what they see as inappropriate behavior in the recruitment process.
Despite the ethical breach, I feel positive that this recruitment "technique" will be rejected.
Quite frankly, I'm not sure why the Rabbi has chosen to omit the name of the Yeshiva. The good news is that in each forum, there is no gray area amongst the educators on Lookjed about the ethical breach. Without exception, all who commented on the Lookjed thread and in the Jewish Week article are horrified, saddened, shocked, etc and many offer concrete suggestions as to how to improve the recruitment process, as well as stories from the past regarding what they see as inappropriate behavior in the recruitment process.
Despite the ethical breach, I feel positive that this recruitment "technique" will be rejected.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Wasn't Even Going to Comment, but this makes for an interesting break
I wasn't even going to bother with the newest fraud case, this time brought to us by a crime ring in Israel that has been producing false ID cards and records for non-existent students to increase funding for certain yeshivot/kollelim by submitting false reports to the Education . Reports are stating that there are three non-profits involved and another 40 other co-conspirator establishments. Fraud has ceased to surprise me, and I didn't even bat an eye when scrolling through the frum news, until the latest installment of this newest case.
Given my professional and educational background, one thing I've learned along the way is the fraud isn't something that easily surfaces. Breaking a fraud case must often be accompanied by a great tip, hence vehicles such as anonymous fraud tip hotlines. And, here, the tip won't disappoint.
The "moser" that tipped off Israeli authorities is none other than our favorite friend, the Neturei Karta. As per reports, when members of this sect discovered their names were being used to illegally receive stipends from the Israeli government, they tipped off law enforcement and law enforcement began to monitor the illegal activity resulting in a raid and arrests.
I know I should only feel shame when yet another fraud scheme involving "observant" Jews who stand for "Torah" comes to light, but it is hard for me not to at least a slight bit, uh, excited about the tip that has brought yet another crime ring to face the music. Hashem certainly has a sense of humor.
Given my professional and educational background, one thing I've learned along the way is the fraud isn't something that easily surfaces. Breaking a fraud case must often be accompanied by a great tip, hence vehicles such as anonymous fraud tip hotlines. And, here, the tip won't disappoint.
The "moser" that tipped off Israeli authorities is none other than our favorite friend, the Neturei Karta. As per reports, when members of this sect discovered their names were being used to illegally receive stipends from the Israeli government, they tipped off law enforcement and law enforcement began to monitor the illegal activity resulting in a raid and arrests.
I know I should only feel shame when yet another fraud scheme involving "observant" Jews who stand for "Torah" comes to light, but it is hard for me not to at least a slight bit, uh, excited about the tip that has brought yet another crime ring to face the music. Hashem certainly has a sense of humor.
School Voucher Debate Worth Watching
From the Wall Street Journal: Douglas County, Colorado's School Board is debating a voucher plan that, by all means, is unique, both because of the proposals contained within and because of the demographics of the district. The district is a rather affluent one and schools rank high. There are 56,000 district students, and 4,000 private school or home schooled students. The median family income tops $105,000. The district includes 65 schools, 9 charter schools, 2 magnet schools, and 1 online school. Private schooling in the county is limited. With only one very small exception (a 21 student school), all private schools that go beyond the 1st grade are faith based.
Given the demographics, having a voucher proposal on the table is surprising.
Beyond the demographics, what makes the proposal of note includes the following:
1. the proposal would allow faith-based school to allow admissions based on faith,
2. (under consideration) is a proposal that would allows students to remain public school students while opting to take certain courses through private schools and/or private educators,
3. (under consideration) is a proposal that would expand public-funding for home schooled students.
Public opinion is mixed, especially on subsidizing private instructors for classes outside the regular curriculum as many parents already hire tutors for their children out-of-pocket.
The voucher plan proposal would subsidize students in private settings up to $5,000.
I don't have any comments on the story, except to note that the $5000 supposedly would cover 35-100% of tuition in the local private schools. Clearly there is good range of prices for private school consumers in the area and should a voucher proposal pass and be implemented, it would be interesting to see what happens to the private schools when government money (and regulation) gets injected into the market. I hope to watch this debate and I hope the private schools will weigh in.
Also, does anyone know what county the frum Denver schools are located?
Some reading that might be of interest:
Vouchers, and why a Conservative Might be Ambivalent
Economics and Education (ideas of Thomas Sowell)
Given the demographics, having a voucher proposal on the table is surprising.
Beyond the demographics, what makes the proposal of note includes the following:
1. the proposal would allow faith-based school to allow admissions based on faith,
2. (under consideration) is a proposal that would allows students to remain public school students while opting to take certain courses through private schools and/or private educators,
3. (under consideration) is a proposal that would expand public-funding for home schooled students.
Public opinion is mixed, especially on subsidizing private instructors for classes outside the regular curriculum as many parents already hire tutors for their children out-of-pocket.
The voucher plan proposal would subsidize students in private settings up to $5,000.
I don't have any comments on the story, except to note that the $5000 supposedly would cover 35-100% of tuition in the local private schools. Clearly there is good range of prices for private school consumers in the area and should a voucher proposal pass and be implemented, it would be interesting to see what happens to the private schools when government money (and regulation) gets injected into the market. I hope to watch this debate and I hope the private schools will weigh in.
Also, does anyone know what county the frum Denver schools are located?
Some reading that might be of interest:
Vouchers, and why a Conservative Might be Ambivalent
Economics and Education (ideas of Thomas Sowell)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Not So Easy to Contain the Disgust
Cross-Currents' Rabbi Adlerstein reports that rumors have been verified that the Lakewood Mashgiah Rav Mattisyahu Solomon is fed up with the marketing campaign of Kupat Ha'Ir which has reportedly taken many a person looking for a salvation to the cleaners. I share this disgust and believe the advertising crosses the line of honest business practices.
While Rabbi Adlerstein does not contain his disgust for how Kupat Ha'Ir is changing the face of Orthodoxy, he nevertheless warns his readers to be careful and "not throw the baby out with the bathwater." Further in the comments, Rabbi Adlerstein advises, "I would suggest an intermediate position [to not donating at all]. Mail in your usual check. But when the fundraiser comes to town, make a point of going over to him and telling him that you can't support an organization that engages in this kind of advertising. Couch it in such a way that it is not a lie.] Excerpts below, emphasis mine.
It is important to separate the advertising from the point of the organization. I can think of few regular, familiar features of Orthodox life that bring more disgrace to Torah life than the KH brochures and ads. They proclaim to the public that Torah is the province of worshippers of miracle-rabbis. Nonetheless, the information that I get also points to KH as an effective and responsible organization for distributing tzedaka funds. The needy who are serviced by KH should not suffer because of the overzealousness and deception of the advertisers.
It should be easy to contain our disgust to the marketers. Those writing the horrific copy play on the fears and vulnerability of their audience, while coming close to promising miraculous results. They even come close to encouraging making a pledge to KH in place of following medical advice. They are playing with people’s lives, not just their money. They also diminish the real power of personal prayer, which always remains the best strategy for securing what we think we need for ourselves when the forecast looks bleak. Readers should mentally review the stories they undoubtedly know about the great Rebbes of the past who made a point of emphasizing to their Chassidim the potential of their own tefilos, rather than relying upon the intercession of a third-party intercessor, regardless of his stature.
I find it very troubling that after scathing commentary re: Kupat Ha'ir, we are essentially told to ignore the despicable and continue to send in our checks (note: I don't give to this organization). In light of the fact that there are many worthy tzedaka organizations, I see no reason to give to an organization that:
1. Popularizes a version of black-magic/quick fix Judaism, seemingly with the rubber stamp of the Rabbonim that grace its brochures, that is a far cry from a normative mesorah,
2. Preys on the vulnerable through questionable marketing tactics,
3. Has little transparency and a clearly large overhead (I haven't forgot about the Areivim "Life Insurance" program),
4. Promotes an ideology which contributes rampant poverty (thank you to the Cross-Currents posters that make this important point),
5. and ultimately disgraces the mitzvah of tzedakah.
While I have no doubt that the organization does perform valuable work, I choose not to ignore the unseemly.
While Rabbi Adlerstein does not contain his disgust for how Kupat Ha'Ir is changing the face of Orthodoxy, he nevertheless warns his readers to be careful and "not throw the baby out with the bathwater." Further in the comments, Rabbi Adlerstein advises, "I would suggest an intermediate position [to not donating at all]. Mail in your usual check. But when the fundraiser comes to town, make a point of going over to him and telling him that you can't support an organization that engages in this kind of advertising. Couch it in such a way that it is not a lie.] Excerpts below, emphasis mine.
It is important to separate the advertising from the point of the organization. I can think of few regular, familiar features of Orthodox life that bring more disgrace to Torah life than the KH brochures and ads. They proclaim to the public that Torah is the province of worshippers of miracle-rabbis. Nonetheless, the information that I get also points to KH as an effective and responsible organization for distributing tzedaka funds. The needy who are serviced by KH should not suffer because of the overzealousness and deception of the advertisers.
It should be easy to contain our disgust to the marketers. Those writing the horrific copy play on the fears and vulnerability of their audience, while coming close to promising miraculous results. They even come close to encouraging making a pledge to KH in place of following medical advice. They are playing with people’s lives, not just their money. They also diminish the real power of personal prayer, which always remains the best strategy for securing what we think we need for ourselves when the forecast looks bleak. Readers should mentally review the stories they undoubtedly know about the great Rebbes of the past who made a point of emphasizing to their Chassidim the potential of their own tefilos, rather than relying upon the intercession of a third-party intercessor, regardless of his stature.
I find it very troubling that after scathing commentary re: Kupat Ha'ir, we are essentially told to ignore the despicable and continue to send in our checks (note: I don't give to this organization). In light of the fact that there are many worthy tzedaka organizations, I see no reason to give to an organization that:
1. Popularizes a version of black-magic/quick fix Judaism, seemingly with the rubber stamp of the Rabbonim that grace its brochures, that is a far cry from a normative mesorah,
2. Preys on the vulnerable through questionable marketing tactics,
3. Has little transparency and a clearly large overhead (I haven't forgot about the Areivim "Life Insurance" program),
4. Promotes an ideology which contributes rampant poverty (thank you to the Cross-Currents posters that make this important point),
5. and ultimately disgraces the mitzvah of tzedakah.
While I have no doubt that the organization does perform valuable work, I choose not to ignore the unseemly.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Scams: Signs of Vulnerability
I found this article a Financial Planning Association Website "Signs Your Elderly Parents Need Help — and What to Do About It " and the signs noted that indicate that things might not be quite right ring true in my own experiences, both personal and professional. Sadly, a scam is born everyday and the unscrupulous are well aware of who to target.
Below are the warning signs from the article and some short hand notes both from the article and from my own observations/experiences.
Money mismanagement:
Warnings: Bills piling up and are going unpaid, cash is being misplaced, cash flow is unusually tight, collection letters and disconnect services warnings, letters from the IRS and other tax authorities regarding unpaid liabilities.
Advice: Increase automation. Seek reputable, insured professionals to help and monitor their work.
Financial scams.
Warnings: Increased phone traffic, especially telemarketers, but don't discounts increased phone traffic from "banks" and "credit cards". Checks made out to unfamiliar companies. Changed spending habits. Increased junk mail, especially contests and lotteries for "free" trips, sweepstakes. Increased junk mail for cheap consumer products. Responding to the mail and phone calls. Bills for services never ordered or received.
Advice: Monitor the caller ID, put on the no-call lists. Same for the internet.
Financial abuse.
Warnings: Isolation of the elderly by other family members or caregivers, friends and family members developing a relationship out of the ordinary, access or information about finances to given to those who never had access in the past.
Advice: Don't be afraid to investigate with Adult Protective Services or even the police.
Unsuitable financial products.
(I'm glad the article mentioned this because although certain things might not legally qualify as scams, they serve as warning signs).
Warnings: Buying financial products that aren't appropriate, especially though door-to-door salesmen. Paying outrageous sums for financial services (and other services for that matter). Beyond financial products, changes to estate plans salesman who have just showed up on the scene unsolicited.
Advice: Listen and be alert. And, do your legal homework where necessary.
Gambling.
Warnings: Trips to casinos, playing the lotto. Family member talks about their winnings.
Advice: Check credit card activity, internet activity.
Below are the warning signs from the article and some short hand notes both from the article and from my own observations/experiences.
Money mismanagement:
Warnings: Bills piling up and are going unpaid, cash is being misplaced, cash flow is unusually tight, collection letters and disconnect services warnings, letters from the IRS and other tax authorities regarding unpaid liabilities.
Advice: Increase automation. Seek reputable, insured professionals to help and monitor their work.
Financial scams.
Warnings: Increased phone traffic, especially telemarketers, but don't discounts increased phone traffic from "banks" and "credit cards". Checks made out to unfamiliar companies. Changed spending habits. Increased junk mail, especially contests and lotteries for "free" trips, sweepstakes. Increased junk mail for cheap consumer products. Responding to the mail and phone calls. Bills for services never ordered or received.
Advice: Monitor the caller ID, put on the no-call lists. Same for the internet.
Financial abuse.
Warnings: Isolation of the elderly by other family members or caregivers, friends and family members developing a relationship out of the ordinary, access or information about finances to given to those who never had access in the past.
Advice: Don't be afraid to investigate with Adult Protective Services or even the police.
Unsuitable financial products.
(I'm glad the article mentioned this because although certain things might not legally qualify as scams, they serve as warning signs).
Warnings: Buying financial products that aren't appropriate, especially though door-to-door salesmen. Paying outrageous sums for financial services (and other services for that matter). Beyond financial products, changes to estate plans salesman who have just showed up on the scene unsolicited.
Advice: Listen and be alert. And, do your legal homework where necessary.
Gambling.
Warnings: Trips to casinos, playing the lotto. Family member talks about their winnings.
Advice: Check credit card activity, internet activity.
Helping Elderly Parents Avoid (Tzedakah) Scams
I received an email from a reader that brings up a very important and relevant subject for anyone who has aging or elderly parents or grandparents (who are showing signs of vulnerability). That subject is how to help the elderly avoid scams, particularly tzedakah scams, while still allowing that parent to maintain charge of their own finances. The reader writes the following, slightly edited for privacy:
Dear Orthonomics,
How do I keep my [elderly and trusting parent], who is mentally competent and in charge of personal finances from being taken advantage of by shifty charities? I have asked my [sibling who lives closer] to keep an eye on the mail [give our parent only the mail from] tzedakah organization[s] and medical charit[ies] that are legitimate.
However, I'd like to get [my parent] off these charity mailing lists. Do you have any knowledge of how to do this? Do I write to each individual charity? How do I keep my mother from being taken advantage of financially by these solicitations?
Dear Reader,
Note: Please only consider doing anything IF there are signs of vulnerability. I have family members who are well into their years that are highly capable of taking care of themselves and I have family members and clients that are sadly vulnerable, even where still competent. I'm only presenting some ideas where vulnerability is showing.
I really wish I had an answer to your question because if I did, I wouldn't be enduring continuous phone calls from nine in the morning until nine in the evening, oftentimes from shifty telemarketers who make false claims, to say nothing of mounds of junk mail. I don't personal receive much foot traffic from meshulachim, but this is also an area of concern that should be addressed. Hence, I'd like to hear reader tips and will publish helpful advice, bli neder.
In terms of phone calls, which you don't address, but are nonetheless commonplace, I think it wise that when you or a sibling visit that you intercept phone calls and ask that your parent be removed from the calling list. Just about two weeks ago when another tzedakah I'd never heard of called claiming I had made a donation last year, I told the telemarketer that I needed to be removed from their calling list immediately. I don't know if that is why my phone traffic has died down significantly, but it has and it has given me back a lot of our space. I don't want to hold up the "Mission Accomplished" banner too soon, so I will have to report back after the close of the calendar year. Many charitable telemarketers can be very high pressure and deceptive. The latest technique I've noticed is when someone calls as a Rabbi asking for you, which engenders trust and the introduction makes it sound as if he knows you personally. I think it is best to attempt to slow the phone traffic if at all possible. (I've been trying to slow the phone traffic so that we can enjoy dinner almost uninteruppted).
Regarding junk mail removal, Charityguide.org offers some tips and "do nots." I'd recommend performing this service for your parent. (But first, readers, have you used the Direct Mail removal service? Has it worked or backfired?) I feel a slight bit "deceptive" even suggesting taking matters into your own hands and performing this service for an elderly parent or neighbor, but scamming is big business. Protecting the dignity and future of our aging parents is important, and unfortunately dealing with some of these agencies is a menu for trouble, so best to engage in a bit of avoidance. Dealing with elderly and trusting parents is a bit of a tightrope act, and I do suggest gentle communication about an approach to giving as even a $5 check to a solicitor will beget more solicitations. Being selective is a must and developing an open relationship that does not threaten, but attempts to educate where need be is also important.
Foot traffic is a bit more difficult to deal with. Recently my own neighborhood has had meshulachim coming door-to-door well past (normative child) bedtime hours. This is an intimidating situation and it might help to gather the troops to make sure that when visits are being paid in the neighborhood, they are not being paid to all (including others who are vulnerable such as a mother who is home alone). I have noticed that there are some families and widow(er)s that are not listed in any comprehensive kehilla list. Removing addresses from shul directories, and especially comprehensive kehilla listings is probably worthwhile.
Beyond the tzedakah/charity solicitations, you bring up a very important subject regarding the elderly and their finances. It is imperative to help our trusting parents and grandparents avoid scams. Unfortunately, scams are everywhere and it isn't unheard of for family members that are supposed to help, to slowly drain an elderly parent. I'd like to continue to do more research into scam avoidance and continue to publish posts on such. Thanks for being the second (!) person this week to email me about scams.
Sincerely,
Orthonomics
Dear Orthonomics,
How do I keep my [elderly and trusting parent], who is mentally competent and in charge of personal finances from being taken advantage of by shifty charities? I have asked my [sibling who lives closer] to keep an eye on the mail [give our parent only the mail from] tzedakah organization[s] and medical charit[ies] that are legitimate.
However, I'd like to get [my parent] off these charity mailing lists. Do you have any knowledge of how to do this? Do I write to each individual charity? How do I keep my mother from being taken advantage of financially by these solicitations?
Dear Reader,
Note: Please only consider doing anything IF there are signs of vulnerability. I have family members who are well into their years that are highly capable of taking care of themselves and I have family members and clients that are sadly vulnerable, even where still competent. I'm only presenting some ideas where vulnerability is showing.
I really wish I had an answer to your question because if I did, I wouldn't be enduring continuous phone calls from nine in the morning until nine in the evening, oftentimes from shifty telemarketers who make false claims, to say nothing of mounds of junk mail. I don't personal receive much foot traffic from meshulachim, but this is also an area of concern that should be addressed. Hence, I'd like to hear reader tips and will publish helpful advice, bli neder.
In terms of phone calls, which you don't address, but are nonetheless commonplace, I think it wise that when you or a sibling visit that you intercept phone calls and ask that your parent be removed from the calling list. Just about two weeks ago when another tzedakah I'd never heard of called claiming I had made a donation last year, I told the telemarketer that I needed to be removed from their calling list immediately. I don't know if that is why my phone traffic has died down significantly, but it has and it has given me back a lot of our space. I don't want to hold up the "Mission Accomplished" banner too soon, so I will have to report back after the close of the calendar year. Many charitable telemarketers can be very high pressure and deceptive. The latest technique I've noticed is when someone calls as a Rabbi asking for you, which engenders trust and the introduction makes it sound as if he knows you personally. I think it is best to attempt to slow the phone traffic if at all possible. (I've been trying to slow the phone traffic so that we can enjoy dinner almost uninteruppted).
Regarding junk mail removal, Charityguide.org offers some tips and "do nots." I'd recommend performing this service for your parent. (But first, readers, have you used the Direct Mail removal service? Has it worked or backfired?) I feel a slight bit "deceptive" even suggesting taking matters into your own hands and performing this service for an elderly parent or neighbor, but scamming is big business. Protecting the dignity and future of our aging parents is important, and unfortunately dealing with some of these agencies is a menu for trouble, so best to engage in a bit of avoidance. Dealing with elderly and trusting parents is a bit of a tightrope act, and I do suggest gentle communication about an approach to giving as even a $5 check to a solicitor will beget more solicitations. Being selective is a must and developing an open relationship that does not threaten, but attempts to educate where need be is also important.
Foot traffic is a bit more difficult to deal with. Recently my own neighborhood has had meshulachim coming door-to-door well past (normative child) bedtime hours. This is an intimidating situation and it might help to gather the troops to make sure that when visits are being paid in the neighborhood, they are not being paid to all (including others who are vulnerable such as a mother who is home alone). I have noticed that there are some families and widow(er)s that are not listed in any comprehensive kehilla list. Removing addresses from shul directories, and especially comprehensive kehilla listings is probably worthwhile.
Beyond the tzedakah/charity solicitations, you bring up a very important subject regarding the elderly and their finances. It is imperative to help our trusting parents and grandparents avoid scams. Unfortunately, scams are everywhere and it isn't unheard of for family members that are supposed to help, to slowly drain an elderly parent. I'd like to continue to do more research into scam avoidance and continue to publish posts on such. Thanks for being the second (!) person this week to email me about scams.
Sincerely,
Orthonomics
Thursday, November 11, 2010
How does a yeshiva not pay rent for 2 years?
Hat Tip: A lot of readers. Thanks! And a thanks to a reader who suggested the title: "How does a yeshiva not pay rent for 2 years? That should be the headline. Its an embarrassment."
Excerpts from YWN. My comments in [orange]:
In the latest sign of the meltdown of the economy, one of the leading girls yeshivas in Brooklyn, The Yeshiva of Bensonhurst, was evicted from their premises late Tuesday night on Avenue M in Flatbush. [Can we stop pretending that these rash of school closing is a result of the economy? Certainly, the economic downturn hasn't helped, but the issue just detracts from what can and should be controlled. In particular, it should be quite clear that when a Yeshiva falls over 2 years behind in rent and holds a minimum half a million dollars in liabilities, that the bigger problem is that there is no proper management].
According to sources at the NYPD, the 400 plus girl school was over two years late on rent payments and owed over $500,000 in rent. Another source added that the yeshiva was legally evicted by the Marshall in June of this year. However, despite this, the yeshiva illegally returned to take possession of the premises. [The $500,000 number keeps popping up in each of the recent school closings].
Sources say that that leadership of the yeshiva did not inform parents until the very last minute that their children would have nowhere to go and many children showed up to a closed yeshiva yesterday. Parents of Yeshiva of Bensonhurst students are understandably fraught. One parent asked YWN, “How could the yeshiva take $5,000 in tuition for my daughter this year when they knew that they were being evicted from the yeshiva? I am really upset and don’t understand where my tuition dollars are going if the yeshiva is not even paying its rent.” [I am in pain for all of these parents who, with no warning, watched their school close overnight. It is a terrible breach of trust.]
Local elected officials were unsuccessful in their attempts to stop the eviction. Councilman David Greenfield told YWN, “I was saddened to learn of this unfortunate situation. After my office received a courtesy call Tuesday night from the NYPD informing us of what was happening, I personally reached out to senior NYPD officials who informed me that there was nothing that they could legally do to stop this,” Greenfield explained. “This once again highlights the terrible financial challenges that even our most successful yeshivas are grappling with in these harsh economic times,” Greenfield concluded. [As sad as this situation is for the parents of the girls, I find it abhorrent that a public official would try to stall an eviction, especially after two years of back rent is owed. Sure, there is a sad day when you have hundreds of girls without a school mid-year. But, what about the landlord? A commentor at the YWN did some homework and writes that the landlord currently owes $86,696.43 to NYC. Additionally, public officials have a fiduciary duty towards all of their constituents and here you have a landlord who is nearly $100K behind in back tax to the city. I simply don't understand how a public official can take a position of trying to stop the eviction when the landlord himself is sinking and the City of New York is owed over 85K in back tax and counting. While other commentors call for financial support for the school, I'd say the landlord himself is the most deserving of a "bailout" after two years of underwriting the school while parents paid tuition not knowing the Yeshiva was stiffing the landlord on rent.]
UPDATE: The newest article of this school closing eviction saga does not state, as the article linked to above, that any public officials attempted to stop the eviction. I don't plan to cover the blow-by-blow articles from YWN but it appears as through the public official named above is volunteering his services for mediation.
Excerpts from YWN. My comments in [orange]:
In the latest sign of the meltdown of the economy, one of the leading girls yeshivas in Brooklyn, The Yeshiva of Bensonhurst, was evicted from their premises late Tuesday night on Avenue M in Flatbush. [Can we stop pretending that these rash of school closing is a result of the economy? Certainly, the economic downturn hasn't helped, but the issue just detracts from what can and should be controlled. In particular, it should be quite clear that when a Yeshiva falls over 2 years behind in rent and holds a minimum half a million dollars in liabilities, that the bigger problem is that there is no proper management].
According to sources at the NYPD, the 400 plus girl school was over two years late on rent payments and owed over $500,000 in rent. Another source added that the yeshiva was legally evicted by the Marshall in June of this year. However, despite this, the yeshiva illegally returned to take possession of the premises. [The $500,000 number keeps popping up in each of the recent school closings].
Sources say that that leadership of the yeshiva did not inform parents until the very last minute that their children would have nowhere to go and many children showed up to a closed yeshiva yesterday. Parents of Yeshiva of Bensonhurst students are understandably fraught. One parent asked YWN, “How could the yeshiva take $5,000 in tuition for my daughter this year when they knew that they were being evicted from the yeshiva? I am really upset and don’t understand where my tuition dollars are going if the yeshiva is not even paying its rent.” [I am in pain for all of these parents who, with no warning, watched their school close overnight. It is a terrible breach of trust.]
Local elected officials were unsuccessful in their attempts to stop the eviction. Councilman David Greenfield told YWN, “I was saddened to learn of this unfortunate situation. After my office received a courtesy call Tuesday night from the NYPD informing us of what was happening, I personally reached out to senior NYPD officials who informed me that there was nothing that they could legally do to stop this,” Greenfield explained. “This once again highlights the terrible financial challenges that even our most successful yeshivas are grappling with in these harsh economic times,” Greenfield concluded. [As sad as this situation is for the parents of the girls, I find it abhorrent that a public official would try to stall an eviction, especially after two years of back rent is owed. Sure, there is a sad day when you have hundreds of girls without a school mid-year. But, what about the landlord? A commentor at the YWN did some homework and writes that the landlord currently owes $86,696.43 to NYC. Additionally, public officials have a fiduciary duty towards all of their constituents and here you have a landlord who is nearly $100K behind in back tax to the city. I simply don't understand how a public official can take a position of trying to stop the eviction when the landlord himself is sinking and the City of New York is owed over 85K in back tax and counting. While other commentors call for financial support for the school, I'd say the landlord himself is the most deserving of a "bailout" after two years of underwriting the school while parents paid tuition not knowing the Yeshiva was stiffing the landlord on rent.]
UPDATE: The newest article of this school closing eviction saga does not state, as the article linked to above, that any public officials attempted to stop the eviction. I don't plan to cover the blow-by-blow articles from YWN but it appears as through the public official named above is volunteering his services for mediation.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
They're Back
Mumps, that is, this time in the Talmudical Academy of Philadelphia (Hat Tip: VIN)
[11 months ago]
and the elimination of Priority 7 Vouchers.
Letters when out this week saying the program is on the cutting block. By all accounts, it looks like the Priority 7 vouchers are supporting more than after school programming in Brooklyn's Frum Schools, but providing a "voucher" of sorts.
[11 months ago]
and the elimination of Priority 7 Vouchers.
Letters when out this week saying the program is on the cutting block. By all accounts, it looks like the Priority 7 vouchers are supporting more than after school programming in Brooklyn's Frum Schools, but providing a "voucher" of sorts.
Monday, November 08, 2010
Budgeting Primer: With the Savings, You Can Pay for the Next (Used) Car in Cash
There is a new blog on the blog, and one I'm watching with interested. Struggling Who is attempting to make the case for the so-called "strugglers" after another blogger made quite a splash making a case for the "Chumps."
Quite frankly, I have no interest in class warfare, even though it seems to be the hot topic of the week. What I do have an interest is seeing people prosper! Struggling Who comments, in regards to tuition discounts, states the schools tell us [those on discount] what to pay and what is left is for extra. Personally, I'd like to see the "extra" used to get ahead. Unfortunately, it seems that the "extra" is all too often used to fund increased consumption.
To make a case for the Strugglers, Struggling Who posts Yoni's budget. He doesn't want readers to pick it apart line by line, but it is really hard to ignore a budget of $6,900 that includes too much house ($2,761 mortgage payment, 40% of take home pay, granted that is after salary cuts), too much car ($625 in monthly payments bringing payments to 50% of take home pay) and too much food ($1,050 for food, including Shabbat).
I have consistently found that the difference between those who prosper and those who struggle has less to do with income, and more to do with spending habits. It breaks my heart to see families that could be comfortable or even prospering, struggling because they didn't get ahead when they could have. Let me demonstrate by using Yoni's own budget.
Yoni spends $1050 on food per month for a household of 5, including 2 school aged children and a pre-schooler (my assessment from the description). Anyway you cut it, $1050 is a lot of money to spend on food. Let's say that Yoni decides to really attack this line item of the budget and through a combination of different eating and shopping habits, lower the food line item to a still generous $650.
For the next 3 years, the $400 difference is locked into a savings account called "car." In three years, Yoni will have $14,400, a rather generous amount, which he can now turn around and spend on a quality (used) van, eliminating another massive line item, the $625 in lease and car payments (presumably the car payments will be complete, or almost complete in 3 years and the now owned car will be ready to drive into the ground).
Should Yoni continue to manage the grocery budget ($400) and eliminate the car payments ($625), there is now over $1000 extra to work with.
Now, Yoni and others like Yoni are fighting an uphill battle as school aged children are already in the picture and it still remains a mystery to me how scholarship committees come to a decision as to how tuition is charged. But, those who are starting out should take note. Controlling costs, even without high salaries, can and will result in real savings. Savings work for you. Debt works against you.
Quite frankly, I have no interest in class warfare, even though it seems to be the hot topic of the week. What I do have an interest is seeing people prosper! Struggling Who comments, in regards to tuition discounts, states the schools tell us [those on discount] what to pay and what is left is for extra. Personally, I'd like to see the "extra" used to get ahead. Unfortunately, it seems that the "extra" is all too often used to fund increased consumption.
To make a case for the Strugglers, Struggling Who posts Yoni's budget. He doesn't want readers to pick it apart line by line, but it is really hard to ignore a budget of $6,900 that includes too much house ($2,761 mortgage payment, 40% of take home pay, granted that is after salary cuts), too much car ($625 in monthly payments bringing payments to 50% of take home pay) and too much food ($1,050 for food, including Shabbat).
I have consistently found that the difference between those who prosper and those who struggle has less to do with income, and more to do with spending habits. It breaks my heart to see families that could be comfortable or even prospering, struggling because they didn't get ahead when they could have. Let me demonstrate by using Yoni's own budget.
Yoni spends $1050 on food per month for a household of 5, including 2 school aged children and a pre-schooler (my assessment from the description). Anyway you cut it, $1050 is a lot of money to spend on food. Let's say that Yoni decides to really attack this line item of the budget and through a combination of different eating and shopping habits, lower the food line item to a still generous $650.
For the next 3 years, the $400 difference is locked into a savings account called "car." In three years, Yoni will have $14,400, a rather generous amount, which he can now turn around and spend on a quality (used) van, eliminating another massive line item, the $625 in lease and car payments (presumably the car payments will be complete, or almost complete in 3 years and the now owned car will be ready to drive into the ground).
Should Yoni continue to manage the grocery budget ($400) and eliminate the car payments ($625), there is now over $1000 extra to work with.
Now, Yoni and others like Yoni are fighting an uphill battle as school aged children are already in the picture and it still remains a mystery to me how scholarship committees come to a decision as to how tuition is charged. But, those who are starting out should take note. Controlling costs, even without high salaries, can and will result in real savings. Savings work for you. Debt works against you.
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Another Elementary School Closing
. . . . this time in Toronto. One hundred plus students absorbed into other yeshivot according to YWN, but 30 rebbeim and teachers are without jobs after the school failed to pay staff for five months, or $500,000 in back pay which Matzav.com is looking to raise (as per Matzav pay is owed since April 2010).
No need to pull out a calculator, that is a 1:3.33 teacher to student ratio. Each of the 100 students would need to pay $5,000 to meet previous payroll operations, this in addition to regular tuition they were paying. Average back-pay owed is $16,667 per staff member. Averaged over 5 months that is $3333 per month per teacher.
I say this with all sincerity: I believe that smaller and/or more specialized schools (and this one, like the one in Lakewood, both are reported to both be Zilberman schools) have a place, especially in larger sized communities. However, these schools cannot expect to maintain a conventional environment resembling that of their larger counterparts. Additionally, the operational method cannot include reliance on the greater community simply because of it's size and communal history. It appears there is some moaning that g'virim did not step up to support the school. Small schools must be more heavily self-sufficient, relying basically on parents for tuition alone (read: fewer tuition discounts can be given). The staff ratios make me believe that this school was maintaining around 3.33-4.25 staff members per grade (not sure if the school runs K-6 or K-8?). A study of the one-room schoolhouse should be required when opening small schools.
Comments?
No need to pull out a calculator, that is a 1:3.33 teacher to student ratio. Each of the 100 students would need to pay $5,000 to meet previous payroll operations, this in addition to regular tuition they were paying. Average back-pay owed is $16,667 per staff member. Averaged over 5 months that is $3333 per month per teacher.
I say this with all sincerity: I believe that smaller and/or more specialized schools (and this one, like the one in Lakewood, both are reported to both be Zilberman schools) have a place, especially in larger sized communities. However, these schools cannot expect to maintain a conventional environment resembling that of their larger counterparts. Additionally, the operational method cannot include reliance on the greater community simply because of it's size and communal history. It appears there is some moaning that g'virim did not step up to support the school. Small schools must be more heavily self-sufficient, relying basically on parents for tuition alone (read: fewer tuition discounts can be given). The staff ratios make me believe that this school was maintaining around 3.33-4.25 staff members per grade (not sure if the school runs K-6 or K-8?). A study of the one-room schoolhouse should be required when opening small schools.
Comments?
Creating Greater Dependency
[Note: I sometimes choose to post on Israeli Economic issues, but my knowledge of the ins-and-outs of Israel are lacking, so commentary is always appreciated. Also, I know I do not recognize some other pressing issues facing Israeli society in my post such as the growing demographic issues. Nonetheless, some commentary].
I admit, I have not been keeping up with the blow-by-blow regarding kollel stipends in Israel. But any economist that bothers to factor in human behavior into their predictions and calculations will tell you that this latest proposal being pushed by Shas, in the name of "equality" (and appeasement, no doubt), is just another road to create yet another dependency class in Israel. Expanding a dependency program to another class of students will certainly create perverse incentives, especially when the requirement to qualify is not based on quality (of academics/research/Torah learning) but on quantity (of children) and lack wealth creation (note: students cannot personal income from a job of their own or spousal income to qualify).
According to an article published on 11/4/2010 at ynet.com and 11/5/2010 and 10/24/2010 at JPost.com, Shas Chairman Eli Yishai seeks to award University students raising one child or more the same assured income received by yeshiva students with three or more children.
Yishai states 1) it is all for the children and 2) naysayers speak out of hatred and to incite:
"We have no objection that [university] students will also receive the benefit. Anyone who would propose otherwise is behaving in a discriminatory way,"; "The entire goal [of the bill] is to provide support to the tens of thousands of children living below the poverty line and to close [social] gaps."; "We do not object that every student who studies should receive the benefit. Anyone who would say otherwise speaks out of hatred and to incite."
I speak not from hatred, nor out of lack of concern for "the children" but because this is bad public policy and faulty economics.
I admit, I have not been keeping up with the blow-by-blow regarding kollel stipends in Israel. But any economist that bothers to factor in human behavior into their predictions and calculations will tell you that this latest proposal being pushed by Shas, in the name of "equality" (and appeasement, no doubt), is just another road to create yet another dependency class in Israel. Expanding a dependency program to another class of students will certainly create perverse incentives, especially when the requirement to qualify is not based on quality (of academics/research/Torah learning) but on quantity (of children) and lack wealth creation (note: students cannot personal income from a job of their own or spousal income to qualify).
According to an article published on 11/4/2010 at ynet.com and 11/5/2010 and 10/24/2010 at JPost.com, Shas Chairman Eli Yishai seeks to award University students raising one child or more the same assured income received by yeshiva students with three or more children.
Yishai states 1) it is all for the children and 2) naysayers speak out of hatred and to incite:
"We have no objection that [university] students will also receive the benefit. Anyone who would propose otherwise is behaving in a discriminatory way,"; "The entire goal [of the bill] is to provide support to the tens of thousands of children living below the poverty line and to close [social] gaps."; "We do not object that every student who studies should receive the benefit. Anyone who would say otherwise speaks out of hatred and to incite."
I speak not from hatred, nor out of lack of concern for "the children" but because this is bad public policy and faulty economics.
Thursday, November 04, 2010
Ask Orthonomics: Choices for the Young Man Learning
Dear Orthonomics,
I have a 17 year old son who has graduated HS, loves to learn and is actually quite good at it. He was also quite good at his secular studies and understands that he will be going to College and will IYH support his own family post-marriage. His RW yeshiva (hat and jacket/white shirt/etc) allows College, so at least that is not an issue. But here is the challenge:
He plans on learning until marriage and most likely even a year (2?) after that. So if everything went according to plan (and don’t get me started about how nothing ever goes according to plan, between my career as an [nicely paid professional] that only happened because my ‘plan’ fell apart, my wife’s career that only occurred because her ‘plan’ fell apart, and our 4 children though we had none after years of trying which included major medical assistance, I may be the king at being able to explain the posuk “Rabos machshavos B’lev ish) he goes to work in say 8 years.
His options are:
a) Go to College now, get it over with in 3-4 years, then sit and learn until he has to try to find a job
b) Don’t go to College yet, and start in 4 years (an idea I hate since it is too likely that in 4 years he will say “no”)
c) Start now, take it slow, take a year off, etc and finish up just as he plans on entering the work force
Assuming I reject idea (b) {he is smart enough to listen to me as long as I am paying his bills}. He is left with (a) and (c). Is there anyone out there who has insight into which option may be better? Does anyone have another option even better than these?
Thanks.
A Father
Dear Father,
You present two choices for the learner who is expected to be independent within an extended, yet still short, period of time, choice a and c. Each option has its pitfalls, and I don't think these are the only choices. For example, it might be wise to help him arrange different opportunities to help him determine a career path while/before he starts taking classes. You rightfully worry that after learning he might decide to not pursue a degree at all. On the flip side, many students take the easy way out during college by going for an "easy major" without having a career path in mind. Clearly, you want him to reach financial independence, so I think the real goal isn't how to complete a bachelor's, but how to ensure he develops his academic talents and enters the workforce.
But, since I do like to at least attempt to answer questions posed, I think choice a (complete a degree and then continue in long term learning) will leave a gap between the education and its application, one that might make potential future employees wary. I'm really uncertain which the better of the two choices is, but I guess I lean towards choice c, get started, take some time off to learn (perhaps coupled with some shadowing in the workplace) and then finishing up with a flourish.
Now I'd like to concentrate on addressing a bigger philosophy. It sounds as though you are guiding your son regarding expectations, but worry about the "market forces" he might encounter along the way, leaving you wondering how to best guide him. I believe you partially alluded to that in writing, "he is smart enough to listen to me as long as I am paying his bills."
Beyond helping him determine the best way to continue learning while pursuing a degree, I think the thing that needs to be made most clear is that, while you are happy to make it possible for him to continue learning for an extended amount of time, he must simultaneously be responsible to prepare for financial independence. There should be no guessing game as to the timeline to reach such a goal and/or milestones need to be met along the way. I don't think you should necessarily dictate how he goes about getting from point a to point b, but he need to know soon you will not be paying his bills!
In the past, I wrote a post "Better and Worse Ways to Help Adult Children." I believe that post is worth revisiting because it discusses better and worse ways to provide adult children with assistance. In short, I think it important to allow freedom with boundaries, and don't make your assistance backfire by making things too comfortable through faulty or overly fluid arrangements. Any arrangement made should promote independence, not foster dependence. And, while you want to make him comfortable enough to meet his goals in learning and academics, he should be so comfortable that his natural motivation to gain independence is sapped.
Hope that helps. I'm certain my readers will have plenty of relevant advice on how to help a young man in learning best transition to the workplace, financial independence, and supporting a family.
Sincerely,
Orthonomics
I have a 17 year old son who has graduated HS, loves to learn and is actually quite good at it. He was also quite good at his secular studies and understands that he will be going to College and will IYH support his own family post-marriage. His RW yeshiva (hat and jacket/white shirt/etc) allows College, so at least that is not an issue. But here is the challenge:
He plans on learning until marriage and most likely even a year (2?) after that. So if everything went according to plan (and don’t get me started about how nothing ever goes according to plan, between my career as an [nicely paid professional] that only happened because my ‘plan’ fell apart, my wife’s career that only occurred because her ‘plan’ fell apart, and our 4 children though we had none after years of trying which included major medical assistance, I may be the king at being able to explain the posuk “Rabos machshavos B’lev ish) he goes to work in say 8 years.
His options are:
a) Go to College now, get it over with in 3-4 years, then sit and learn until he has to try to find a job
b) Don’t go to College yet, and start in 4 years (an idea I hate since it is too likely that in 4 years he will say “no”)
c) Start now, take it slow, take a year off, etc and finish up just as he plans on entering the work force
Assuming I reject idea (b) {he is smart enough to listen to me as long as I am paying his bills}. He is left with (a) and (c). Is there anyone out there who has insight into which option may be better? Does anyone have another option even better than these?
Thanks.
A Father
Dear Father,
You present two choices for the learner who is expected to be independent within an extended, yet still short, period of time, choice a and c. Each option has its pitfalls, and I don't think these are the only choices. For example, it might be wise to help him arrange different opportunities to help him determine a career path while/before he starts taking classes. You rightfully worry that after learning he might decide to not pursue a degree at all. On the flip side, many students take the easy way out during college by going for an "easy major" without having a career path in mind. Clearly, you want him to reach financial independence, so I think the real goal isn't how to complete a bachelor's, but how to ensure he develops his academic talents and enters the workforce.
But, since I do like to at least attempt to answer questions posed, I think choice a (complete a degree and then continue in long term learning) will leave a gap between the education and its application, one that might make potential future employees wary. I'm really uncertain which the better of the two choices is, but I guess I lean towards choice c, get started, take some time off to learn (perhaps coupled with some shadowing in the workplace) and then finishing up with a flourish.
Now I'd like to concentrate on addressing a bigger philosophy. It sounds as though you are guiding your son regarding expectations, but worry about the "market forces" he might encounter along the way, leaving you wondering how to best guide him. I believe you partially alluded to that in writing, "he is smart enough to listen to me as long as I am paying his bills."
Beyond helping him determine the best way to continue learning while pursuing a degree, I think the thing that needs to be made most clear is that, while you are happy to make it possible for him to continue learning for an extended amount of time, he must simultaneously be responsible to prepare for financial independence. There should be no guessing game as to the timeline to reach such a goal and/or milestones need to be met along the way. I don't think you should necessarily dictate how he goes about getting from point a to point b, but he need to know soon you will not be paying his bills!
In the past, I wrote a post "Better and Worse Ways to Help Adult Children." I believe that post is worth revisiting because it discusses better and worse ways to provide adult children with assistance. In short, I think it important to allow freedom with boundaries, and don't make your assistance backfire by making things too comfortable through faulty or overly fluid arrangements. Any arrangement made should promote independence, not foster dependence. And, while you want to make him comfortable enough to meet his goals in learning and academics, he should be so comfortable that his natural motivation to gain independence is sapped.
Hope that helps. I'm certain my readers will have plenty of relevant advice on how to help a young man in learning best transition to the workplace, financial independence, and supporting a family.
Sincerely,
Orthonomics
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
A Blog After My Own Heart: Kosher on a Budget
Hat Tip: A reader
A reader pointed me to a new blog, Kosher on a Budget: Live fruitfully without multiplying your budget. The blog has a beautiful and inviting layout, is well written, and has something for everyone.
I'm enjoying taking a look around. Particularly inspiring is Mara's Jewish Dave Ramsey Story. The writer's family managed to pay of $30,000 in debt in 6 months through a combination of expense cutting and selling stuff. Following that, the family built an emergency fund. Now the rest of the journey continues. She was initially shy to take advice from an evangelical Christian, but what works, works! (My own commentary: the biblical principals that Dave preaches are mostly found in my own handy-dandy Tanach, particularly Mishlei and Tehillim).
The blog is a great resource. If you like to coupon shop, she is doing the work for you by posting up the great drug and grocery store deals, amongst others. If you are interested in kosher, frugal cooking, there are recipes, all of which appear to be simple, quick, and family friendly.
Something I find exciting is the one month menu plan. While I tend to shy away from long term menu planning--my preference is to plan a one week menu around inexpensive produce, with recurring themes based on the night of the week so the kids know what to expect--I find the idea of a one month plan very intriguing. I also like the tips on doubling and freezing. While the frugal amongst us might argue if menu planning saves money, it is so important to find something that is practical. Perhaps I will give a one month plan a trial run during one of my busiest seasons, especially since Mara's blog provides a usable format. I don't believe in reinventing the wheel, so it is fun to discover a kosher, frugal blogger (with a frugal and practical Shabbat and Chagim section) who is happy to share.
One other thing: I have yet to publish some of my commentary on frugality blogs and books. In short, I find that many frugal resources, from books to blogs, are beyond intimidating, and not just to the newly thrifty. While I do read some frugality resources that lean towards the extremes, and sometimes even adopt ideas I was initially resistant too, I would define my brand of frugality as "middle income." Mara's money saving tips don't throw 7-11 convenience to the wind. Nor, is she a minimalist. In fact, we happen to share a love of plastic organizing boxes as mentioned in one post! While there are a lot of great resources out there, I think this resource will prove relevant to the greatest number of readers.
What a great resource! Highly recommended.
A reader pointed me to a new blog, Kosher on a Budget: Live fruitfully without multiplying your budget. The blog has a beautiful and inviting layout, is well written, and has something for everyone.
I'm enjoying taking a look around. Particularly inspiring is Mara's Jewish Dave Ramsey Story. The writer's family managed to pay of $30,000 in debt in 6 months through a combination of expense cutting and selling stuff. Following that, the family built an emergency fund. Now the rest of the journey continues. She was initially shy to take advice from an evangelical Christian, but what works, works! (My own commentary: the biblical principals that Dave preaches are mostly found in my own handy-dandy Tanach, particularly Mishlei and Tehillim).
The blog is a great resource. If you like to coupon shop, she is doing the work for you by posting up the great drug and grocery store deals, amongst others. If you are interested in kosher, frugal cooking, there are recipes, all of which appear to be simple, quick, and family friendly.
Something I find exciting is the one month menu plan. While I tend to shy away from long term menu planning--my preference is to plan a one week menu around inexpensive produce, with recurring themes based on the night of the week so the kids know what to expect--I find the idea of a one month plan very intriguing. I also like the tips on doubling and freezing. While the frugal amongst us might argue if menu planning saves money, it is so important to find something that is practical. Perhaps I will give a one month plan a trial run during one of my busiest seasons, especially since Mara's blog provides a usable format. I don't believe in reinventing the wheel, so it is fun to discover a kosher, frugal blogger (with a frugal and practical Shabbat and Chagim section) who is happy to share.
One other thing: I have yet to publish some of my commentary on frugality blogs and books. In short, I find that many frugal resources, from books to blogs, are beyond intimidating, and not just to the newly thrifty. While I do read some frugality resources that lean towards the extremes, and sometimes even adopt ideas I was initially resistant too, I would define my brand of frugality as "middle income." Mara's money saving tips don't throw 7-11 convenience to the wind. Nor, is she a minimalist. In fact, we happen to share a love of plastic organizing boxes as mentioned in one post! While there are a lot of great resources out there, I think this resource will prove relevant to the greatest number of readers.
What a great resource! Highly recommended.
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