We have already discussed the "throw money at it" solution for the "shidduch crisis" where cities (Baltimore, Queens, Lakewood) are holding out a gold plated carrot to entice amateurs to throw their hat into the shidduch ring. Honestly, if a person really needs more money, concentrating their money making efforts on shidduchim is probably a worse idea than going to Atlantic City or Las Vegas (also terrible ideas).
Now, parents themselves are getting in on the game, offering additional money to get their children married or even on a date. Below is an expert from a Yated letter titled "You Can Make Big Money." I must say that while I respect the hurt that singles and parents of singles go through, it seems that sinking to a level of desperation is sure to backfire, either by placing the single in a bad light (your father had to pay someone to get you on a date?!?!) or by inviting those desperate to make a buck, integrity be dammed.
I had initially planned a post on fraud for today, but scrapped it in favor of a post on shidduchim. But it seems I've managed to cover both bases at the same time. One can only hope that "big money" solution doesn't lead to an even uglier developments in the "system."
It might be very helpful to also mention any financial awards that are available to those who suggest a successful match. For example, the rabbonim in Lakewood and Baltimore have offered $2,000 to whoever marries off girls of certain ages in those communities. Another group is now offering as much as $3,000 should the girl and boy be of certain ages. I know of one desperate father who offers $50 to anyone who gets his 28-year-old daughter or 31-year-old son a quality first date (a match whom they would consider marrying should the chemistry work out). That’s $50 for
each quality first date that either of his children go out on. Should a marriage result from that match, an additional $1,000 is paid to whomever the father regards as having been responsible for that match. An additional $1,000 is given for each of the first three anniversaries of that marriage if the father feels the marriage is happy and successful. Thus, if that father’s daughter marries a boy one year younger than her and the marriage is happy and successful, the person who the father feels was responsible for the match could receive up to $3,000 from the organization that provides this reward, plus up to $4,000 from the father (after three years of happy
marriage of his daughter), for a total of $7,000 in all, if I figured out
the math correctly. Making the shidduch of this father’s son could result in
the same $3,000 (if he marries an older girl), plus the same $4,000 from the
father if the marriage is happy and successful, plus $2,000 if the girl is
eligible for the Lakewood or Baltimore incentives as well.So the money can
sure add up... Oh, if anyone wants to get in touch with that father, [name
deleted], email to firstname.lastname@example.org. You can send your profile and a
picture, or even just your phone number for a call back.
Please tell me I am not the only one who is beyond uncomfortable with putting our daughters and sons up for sale, so to speak. Let's remember that the merchandise is human. Ugh.