Teaching Children Respect for Belongings, Money

Mrs. A wrote to the Yated with a cry for help. She sees that the generation is a spoiled and wasteful one and wants camps to scale back, teachers to scale back, and children to be taught responsibility. In the style I've come to expect from those who write to the Yated, she calls for everyone else (primarily camps and schools) to take responsibility, but there is hardly a call for parents to take the bull by the horns.

One item she mentioned stands out to me. The letter writer, a teacher in a frum school, mentions that parents are stuck with sizable bills for lost textbooks at the end of the year. Can someone please explain to me why parents are paying the tab for lost textbooks??? I don't recall many lost texbooks during my school days, but then again I can't think of too many students whose parents would have paid that tab.

The road to responsibility and respect for property begins and ends with accountability. Simple as that.

TEACHING THEM TO RESPECT WHAT THEY HAVE
Dear Editor,

I would have preferred to involve the mechanchim of the Chinuch Roundtable in the discussion of this letter, but I have chosen to open up the following topic in this forum so that public interaction can begin.Rabbi Yitzchok Hisiger wrote an excellent article in last week’s Yated titled “Not ‘Just’ Pachim Ketanim” about the baal tashchis that goes on at the end of camp. Parents go all out for their children so that they can go to expensive summer camps. The children go to camp loaded with food, accessories, clothing and money. Today’s children have no clue how their parents agonize over paying for several children to attend camp each year at a total cost of at least $2,000 per child (once all extra related expenses are included). When they leave camp, their lack of responsibility is quite evident to the camp administration.

Rabbi Hisiger also mentioned that the same lack of responsibility continues in school. As a teacher in a local high school, I am appalled each year at the amount of money parents have to send in at the September orientation because their children didn’t return all their school textbooks in June. The amounts range from $20 to as much as $175! The children lack responsibility and they have no concept, as Rabbi Hisiger stated, of being “chas on their parents’ money.”

This generation is a spoiled one. They expect just about everything from their parents. They don’t know that everything comes with a price tag. Believe it or not, there is even a mindset among parents that one must not discuss money issues with children because it will cause them unnecessary anxiety. This is the issue that I would love to see discussed by mechanchim and parents.

Anyone who is in touch with reality is quite aware of the state of the world economy. People are losing their homes and their jobs, and others can’t pay their tuition bills. I don’t have to mention that the price of gas and groceries has adversely affected our financial situations. This is no longer a personal issue. It isn’t about Family A or Family B. We’re all in the same boat, regardless of color, race or religion. I think that it is time to enlighten our children that the world economy is in trouble. I think that the schools should address the issue by scaling back the extra curricular expenses and explaining to the students what the reason is. Teachers should scale back the list of school supplies needed, and include only those items that are absolutely necessary. Camps should address this issue by scaling back the types of trips, breakouts and narishkeiten that add to the excitement but subtract from the parents’ wallets. I challenge the camps to budget next summer in a way that will minimize camp expenses and maybe even bring down the price of camp. The baal tashchis that goes on in camps on the administrative level is unacceptable. Children should understand that they cannot expect from their parents what they used to expect automatically.

I have spoken to the menaheles of the high school that I teach in, and she is in total agreement with me. Almost everyone today is feeling the painful pinch of living expenses that have jumped to unaffordable numbers. It is time for our children to be made aware of the situation, so that they can be more sensitive. I believe that children who are old enough to spend money should be taught a sense of real responsibility. They should protect their possessions, assess what they really need for the coming year, and determine what they can do without. If we teach them this concept now, it will give them the tools to be responsible adults later.

I would love to hear feedback from principals, teachers, parents, and, yes, boys and girls as well.

Sincerely,
Mrs. A.