Just in case your 20-23 year old 'girl' isn't getting her due attention from a shadchan, yet another "throw money at it" solution is being offered. The new proposal is that askanim pay shadchanim a fee of $50 for the shadchan to provide special attention and come up with 5-6 names of boys who Quite frankly meet her qualifications and who might consider taking her out on a date. If the girl actually approves of any of the shadchan's selections, she can cough up another $25 for the shidduch to be 'redd.' I'm not sure if that is $25 per shidduch redd, or $25 for a series of shidduchim to be redd.
Quite frankly, the shidduch system, which does have positives, is starting to look like a complete 3 ring circus. The girl's parents and the girl herself are being
Perhaps it is time to take the ball out of the girls' court and place it firmly in the court of the boys. I think there might be a great deal of sanity that can be reclaimed if we went back to the biblical imperative and let the boy seek out a wife.
Related Post: Desperation is Unbecoming
SHADCHANIM: AN EXTRA INCENTIVE
We would like to express our hakoras hatov to the Yated for all you have done for the klal regarding the parsha of shidduchim and for continuously allowing the Readers Write to serve as the main forum of options and ideas being considered to help alleviate the shidduch crisis.
We would like to inform anyone who might be interested of a new service we are offering for girls in shidduchim between the ages of 20-23 years old. For a fee of $50, we will pay a prominent Lakewood shadchan to work on one girl’s profile within two weeks and come up with 5-6 names this shadchan feels are most suitable for that girl (and most likely will lead to a date). We will also provide background information on each boy. If after researching these boys, the girl’s side is interested, we will guarantee that these names will be redd by that shadchan for an additional fee of $25.
The point of our service is to obligate and motivate the shadchan to put aside individual time to work for that girl. From past months’ experience with this service, the shadchan actually has spent around a half hour from his very busy schedule sifting through around 500 boys’ names and picking out the names he feels are the most “lechatchila” from the girl’s perspective (as well as most likely to receive a “yes” from the boys’ side).
This service is being initiated by askanim, not shadchanim. The shadchan has not requested any money. On the contrary, askanim are nudging him to take money in order to make him feel obligated to spend time and effort working on a particular girl. We know that some people might feel humiliated by paying a shadchan to work for them, but the reality is that the prominent shadchanim in Lakewood receive hundreds of phone calls each day and it’s not physically possible for them to accommodate everyone without an extra obligation. This service is simply a practical suggestion to help out some girls who are interested.
Our service has the endorsement of prominent rabbonim and roshei yeshiva. All parties interested should please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org..