NASI Ad: "Game Changing Shidduch Program"

The original NASI ad was located by a reader and is available at the 5TJT. Ad guarantees that every $ is guaranteed and anytime she wants her money back, she will get it back.

Ironies of ironies, there isn't a single NAME attached to the NASI ad, nor the name of a single Rosh Yeshiva, but there is a guarantee that the program will be operated with great transparency, oversight, and audit to instill confidence in the klal.

Furthermore, "all disperement checks of monies from the program will require the signature of one of the Roshei Yeshiva advertising the program." Well, ladies and gentlemen. . . the internal controls are flawed from the outset. With checks to be made out in the $13,000 range, there should be a minimum of two signatures!

I've already sounded the alarm on the Areivim "life insurance" program. And this looks as just as problematic (the entire concept aside). So here are a few questions:

NASI, whose tax ID number do you operate under? Are you organized as a non-profit, a S-Corp, a sole proprietorship? If you are operating under an existing non-profit, is the 990 available on Guidestar? If you are operating independently, what financials will you be publishing and when? Where are the liabilities held in escrow? What CPA firm has put together your internal control procedures and how will they be continually monitored? Who will perform and publish the audit you refer to? How many Roshei Yeshiva have signing authority over the checking account? Will check signers be involved in any of the book keeping or account reconciliation?

The ad states that the list of young women will only be handed to shadchanim once there are 50 girls. While I think the entire approach is completely flawed and degrading to Jewish singles period, I would highly recommend that until the above questions (and more) are answered, parents/young women should keep their money in an FDIC protected bank account or under a mattress for safekeeping.

The New NASI Shidduch Plan: Throw Money At It

Quick, someone, enroll "leadership" in a mandatory economics theory course because every single idea that comes out is just downright dangerous as it creates dangerous incentives. These "Game Changing" initiatives are like running radiation on every mole! This is the new North America Shidduch Initiative (NASI) Plan that was advertised in Hamodia, Yated, and 5TJT as per YWN posters. Hat Tip: YWN Coffee Room.

NASI Introduces “Game Changing Shidduch Program”
Looking to further revolutionize their work on behalf of the older singles in our midst, NASI has introduced what they are calling a “game changing shidduch program” to encourage and entice shadchanim to work with girls 22 and older.

The program was unveiled in an ad in today’s Hamodia (D17). Under the program NASI will create a list of girls 22 and older to be distributed to shadchanim across the United States. If shadchanim are to make a shidduch for any girl on the list they are guaranteed a large sum of money for their work.

For girls aged 22 they will receive $5,000; 23-$6,000; 24-$7,000; 26-$9,000; 28-$11,000; and for any girl 30 and older $13,000.

Girls on the list will be given contact information of all shadchanim participating in the program.

To get on the list a girl or her family sends in the exact amount of shadchanus money correlating to her age plus $500 to cover the costs of the program. All money is guaranteed and is available for return upon request at any time.

When a young woman gets married the money will be given to the shadchan immediately after the wedding.

Under the guidance of Roshei Yeshiva and Rabbanim NASI has been working over the past number of years with the sole purpose of trying to have as many older singles in our community get married. Their previous initiatives, a number of which have included monetary incentive, have been met with much success.

So let's talk about the incentives created:

1. Worried parents can push a shidduch quickly because if they wait a few more months, they will be out another few thousand.

2. Shadchanim can hold off suggesting a shidduch until the "girl" is a bit older because the payout will be greater.

3. Parents/"girls" with money will get service while those without the requisite funds can be relegated to the dust bin as volunteer shadchanim are tempted by the $dollars$.

File this under "Throw Money At It Solution". It might "work" for some, but it can change behavior for the worse. I think that a lot of the (quote, unquote) shidduch crisis would be alleviated if people remember that marriage is not an end, but a beginning.

Blaming Bad Finances on the Girls

I found this comment on imamother which underscores my feeling that the attack against seminary for girls is not actually financial in nature, but is really an attack against Torah education for women.

That said, my DH is acquainted with someone in our community who offers free credit counseling and debt consolidation through a local gemach. He spends up to 20 hours per week helping families figure a way out of credit card debt. Now, I imagined all this credit card debt was a result of everyone running amok at the mall, but DH's friend related something surprising (to me, anyway!). He said that the majority of unmanageable consumer debt owed by families with whom he worked was based on two areas of expenditure: (1) Seminary in Israel for post-high school girls; and (2) Chassunah expenses.

I don't appreciate intellectual dishonesty and this is a prime example.

Never mind that the Orthodox parents have been financing 12 + year of private schooling for both boys and girls. Never mind that a good percentage of young people, especially men (!), don't enter the workplace until their mid-20s with a kid or two behind them. Never mind that long term savings, esp. retirement, is discouraged in favor of and it's-not-a-luxury-any-longer camp. Never mind that many enjoy plenty of luxuries on a regular basis from matching boutique children's clothing to new jewelry in honor of every occasion under the sun to designer strollers. Never mind that a cleaning lady is a regular feature in a a good half of frum households. Never mind over inflated household expenses from store bought prepared food products to flowers. Never mind school pizza lunches.

Nope, the reason for the credit card debt isn't years upon years of over-spending. The reason for the unmanageable debt is those pesky girls going to seminary!

When it is time to get serious about a communal debt problem that menfolk will be addressed and blamed together with the womenfolk.

Brutally Honest

If you have not seen this interview with Rabbi Schacter of AMI magazine, then you should head on over to VIN and check it out for yourself. I'm absolutely blown away that it was a) spoken and b) published.

I simply don't know enough about Batei Din to even comment or weigh in with an opinion. However, I was just discussing with my husband the fact that when you have a dispute with a frum owned business, e.g., that you are simply stuck between a rock and a hard place. American small claims courts are inexpensive, but you risk your reputation to use them to settle a claim. To take a person who owes you to a Beit Din is costly (or at least that is my impression based on the amount my friend and her former husband paid to have a get written up after all was settled in family court) and the cost is underwritten by the litigants. Rabbi Schacter talks about a million dollar dispute. Those with multi-hundred or a couple thousand in dispute have little choice but to sit it out and hope that they get something someday. And, if they do, they have to wonder if what they get will be taken back in a bankruptcy proceeding. Unfortunately I know of far too many cases where people have not been paid, but they simply have no leverage. And, yes, I'm bitter about it. It destroys the foundation of a trustworthy and honest society!

The New Debit Card Fees

It made a bit of a splash in the news when Bank of America announced they will soon be charging customers who use their debit cards $5 during each month the card is used. Other banks are considering their own menu of charges. This is what happens when government caps one fee in the free market place: it gets passed on to another payer.

I'm a Bank of America customer (and a rare happy one at that). I also use my debit card before and after hours to make ATM deposits, so I was as concerned as all the rest. It also happens a reader asked me to comment on the story. Turns out I had to pay a regular hours visit to Bank of America because a check wouldn't scan through the ATM and so I gained a bit of in-person clarification. There is something to be said to talking to the people right in the bank. I don't care to reading bank small print.

Here is what I learned: 1. The fee will not apply to ATM transactions, only to debit transactions in the store. 2. The fee will not be charged to relationship customers such as checking account customers who hold their mortgage through Bank of America (which is a lot of people after many Countrywide loans were taken over by Bank of America). 3. There will be a warning to customers shortly, so watch your mailbox.

Those who are considering dumping the debit card should speak to their bank to see what it would take to become a gold/advantage/relationship customer or consider moving their checking into the bank where they can establish such a relationship. If the bank where you have some savings, brokerage, or your mortgage is convenient, it is worth consideration. On my to do list is to find out if I need to close a checking account at another local bank that is rarely used, but useful to have from time to time.

For some, debit card fees will leave them debating between cash or credit. Debit cards combine the benefits of cash and plastic. But with a $5 fee, is it worth it? That is a question each consumer will need to answer for himself or herself. While $5 seems like a lot, if I was choosing between cash/checks and debit, debit would win despite the fee. I can't imagine going back to the days of writing checks in the store (and trying to ignore the annoyed looks behind me while I write the check, have my ID checked, and record the damage). When it takes $50 or $60 to fill the tank of the minivan, do you want to carry cash?

I avoid convenience products like the plague, but plastic is an incredible convenient and a welcome addition. Going to the bank to pull cash out is just another thing that needs to be done. And, as I try to remind myself, each short trip isn't just time but also money. It has been a long time since 99 cent a gallon gas or even $1.50 per gallon gas. Gas isn't a negligible expense at all.

Choosing between debit and credit will be highly dependent on your personal spending habits and organization habits. Generally, if you run a balance or pay late fees from time to time, debit at $5 a month might be worth it.

What about the sole-proprietor and the small business? My recommendation: do yourself the favor and pay the fee if you can't manage with checks. Good records are a must and I've audited enough petty cash drawers to know that when it comes to cash, good records are near impossible to come by.

Creating Efficiency in the Car

I don't know about you, but I spend a tremendous amount of time in the car. I don't use a cell phone in the car as others do in the name of getting things done and efficiency. When I'm out, I want to be phone-free and computer-free. I much prefer to listen to the radio, talk with my kids and their friends who are along for the ride, and simply concentrate on driving.

This year I've created a "Car Office" and a month into the new school year I am happy to say that it is working well.

What should everyone have in their car office:

A File Cabinet: When Office Depot was running a 100% Worklkife Rewards promotion on plastic file boxes with a nice closed caddy on top, I picked one up to complete my "car office." I immediately hung hanging folders and put in files for things I need to keep organized in the car. I have folders for client errands. I also have folders for each type of coupon circular. I no longer cut coupons I might use because it was no longer efficient for me. I now cut just the coupons I plan to use right there in my car and when the coupons in the circular expire, into the trash bag they go (yes, I should probably have a trash bag and a bag for recycling. There is always room to improve). I have folders for Groupons, Smart Source, Red Plum, Random Stuff, and P&G.

Plastic Bags: These are great for throwing away dirty trash when you are out. They hang nicely on the hooks for garbage bags. Next step: encouraging the kids to use them better. One of my 5 minute tasks I like to go is purge the car every other week of any trash including work they brought home but didn't really value enough to get inside the house. I'm not the most sentimental type. A few art projects can be retained and notebooks that are valuable. The rest can't take space up. . . especially not car space!

Office Supplies: In the caddy at the top of my file cabinet are some office supplies. I keep additional supplies in one compartment in the car. I have a pair of scissors, especially important for last second coupon cutting. I have a few pens. I keep a stack of business cards around. I'd be remiss without a roll of tape and some sticky notes. Keeping office supplies nearby is important for me to function optimally. I used to have an open box which was easy to access, but the kids would "borrow" and I could never find what I needed when I needed it. Plus, it created more cleaning work.

A Binder: My binder fits in the file cabinet nicely. I like to have some paper (contained in the binder) for jotting down thoughts and ideas that come to me and making lists. The binder is great to store things that I use so often that I don't want to play with file folders. Things like a school calendar, a phone list, etc are all in my binder.

Rubbermaid Box: I'm the type of mom that cannot get out the door with a the things I need. A rubbermaid box is my friend. In it I keep things I won't get out the door with but that I should have. The rubbermaid box is a great place to keep some warm blankets for the winter when the kids are freezing and the heat hasn't kicked in yet. It is a great place to keep a change of clothing for kids that might need one. It is a great place to keep a soccer ball, some coloring books, and some small games for when we are stuck on an errand. I probably should add a first aid kit too.

GPS: Goodbye piles of maps and yellow pages. This is an amazing invention! Try 1saleaday.com to nab an inexpensive one. You don't need to pay retail.

Other Nice Things to Have: A few CDs, a tehillim/bencher/siddur, a little extra change, a few toiletries, some plastic silverware and a can opener.

Please share your "car office" tips. I know I'm not the only parent trying to make my carpools the most efficient possible.

Not Everything Should Go on Record

Hat Tip: VIN

Not everything should be aired out in public. . . especially one's sheitel. Or, at least that is how I felt after reading the NY Post article on pre-Rosh Hashana sheitel styling with upscale Manhattan stylist that runs into the 4 figures, that on top of the 4 figure wig.

While VIN commenters chat away regarding the halachic permission of wigs, esp. larger than life wigs, the prudence of spending this type of money, and the consumption issues, I'm going to steer clear of that and address a different aspect of the article. While I am of the opinion that you can't hide dirty laundry and it is better to admit that there are issues, rather than putting up an often hollow defense, I'd prefer the dirty laundy vis a vis what a minority are spending on their hair (and presumably the rest of the wardrobe . . certainly these wigs aren't topping off clothing from the [insert your favorite discount department store] clearance rack?) be kept hush-hush for the sake of the rest of us.

Being an Orthodox Jewess who regularly applies/interviews for accounts and positions which entail great trust and great potential for abuse, this article is cringe-worthy! Perhaps I'm just paranoid because I had professors that focused on fraud risk factors! But, I've also seen up close and personal what happens when an employee with an all too expensive life to support vis a vis their station losses their bearings. By biting when a reporter wants to write an article on pricey sheitel care, the costly lifestyle that is a rarity becomes the normal in the eye of the beholder (I still haven't forgotten about the other sheitel case of recent memory). I don't blame any newspaper for wanting to do a human interest story like this, but there will be no balance where the frugal, corner cutting, second hand sheitel wearer is subsequently featured.

Therefore, the interviewer can now think: Orthodox Jew = terribly expensive lifestyle = risk to employer. This on top of whatever other issues the employer may worry about (I had one interview that crossed into awkward territory where I had to explain that the previous employee who left him burned wasn't representative of Orthodox Jews vis a vis the laws of yichud).

I think that the majority of younger sheitel wearers do want their wig to go undetected on the job. The best solution to that, whether you are spending $500 or $5000 is to zip the lips.