Appreciating the Two Month Salary Rule

Until recently I have thought the De Beers marketing campaign 2 months salary guideline for an appropriate cost of a engagement/wedding ring to be a ridiculous standard. Lately I'm beginning to appreciate a benchmark based on the groom's current salary.

Yet another set of takanot are being reported in effect. Once again they claim to "save" families thousands of dollars. My father would respond, you aren't saving when you are spending. And spend they do. Even at the reduced rates, families of the listed Chassidish sects are instructed to spend a hefty sum: gifts should not exceed $2,675. Yes, this amount is much reduced, as is are all the other myriads of expenses from shadchanus fees ($990) to flowers for Shabbos ($135) to the actually costs of the wedding.

Of interest: my past post A Study in Wedding Takanot Differences.

I believe these takanot are to help curtail the debt incurred upon engagement/marriage. Yet benchmarking the spending, even if it is far lower, does not cut debt. Those without the funds will still be without the funds. Which brings me back to a regular message, the culture of debt is the real culprit.

Blaming Bad Finances on the Girls

I found this comment on imamother which underscores my feeling that the attack against seminary for girls is not actually financial in nature, but is really an attack against Torah education for women.

That said, my DH is acquainted with someone in our community who offers free credit counseling and debt consolidation through a local gemach. He spends up to 20 hours per week helping families figure a way out of credit card debt. Now, I imagined all this credit card debt was a result of everyone running amok at the mall, but DH's friend related something surprising (to me, anyway!). He said that the majority of unmanageable consumer debt owed by families with whom he worked was based on two areas of expenditure: (1) Seminary in Israel for post-high school girls; and (2) Chassunah expenses.

I don't appreciate intellectual dishonesty and this is a prime example.

Never mind that the Orthodox parents have been financing 12 + year of private schooling for both boys and girls. Never mind that a good percentage of young people, especially men (!), don't enter the workplace until their mid-20s with a kid or two behind them. Never mind that long term savings, esp. retirement, is discouraged in favor of and it's-not-a-luxury-any-longer camp. Never mind that many enjoy plenty of luxuries on a regular basis from matching boutique children's clothing to new jewelry in honor of every occasion under the sun to designer strollers. Never mind that a cleaning lady is a regular feature in a a good half of frum households. Never mind over inflated household expenses from store bought prepared food products to flowers. Never mind school pizza lunches.

Nope, the reason for the credit card debt isn't years upon years of over-spending. The reason for the unmanageable debt is those pesky girls going to seminary!

When it is time to get serious about a communal debt problem that menfolk will be addressed and blamed together with the womenfolk.

Unable to Hold a Job

Hat Tip: Thank you rosie for sending this over. Rosie noted that the commentor advice in the piece I am about to link to, for the most part, leaned towards the practical. Such is a note that I don't want to ignore, although I am going to take this in a completely different direction that I'm sure is expected.

There is a letter from a wife on the COLLive.com website regarding her husband, and so many like her husband, that are unemployed, perpetually. The letter is a sad read on so many levels. Particularly sad is the wife's desire to medicate the anxiety that she feels after so many years. The anxiety is naturally increased by the family living above their means, even if they lack the many things mentioned in the article from pricier food to cleaning help (prime example of living above their means: tuition and upcoming weddings mentioned). Probably what is most depressing about the letter is that we all know (good) people who have a terrible job history.

In fact, I spoke to one gentlemen during my dating years who showed the same symptoms, but I ran the other way when I asked about his job history (flame away if you may!). In his 10 years of employment, he had never stayed at a single job for more than a year plus a month or two max! I could see that there was an underlying disease, manifested by the symptom of continually quitting jobs before others in the office would even know he existed. Since he was still single going on 30, the issue was a red flag for me. But at 21, 22, or even 23 years of age, I'm not quit certain how such an issue could be easily noted. The letter writer does not see the disease clearly, but I have highlighted her closest guess, amongst many, as to what the issue is in the excerpt below:

By the time the year [of kollel] was over, we had our beautiful first born. And so with the expenses of a child already and childcare (because I was working), he took whatever dumb job came his way. A job where he did not really learn any skills, did not really make any contacts – the job just paid the bills, and we couldn’t spend on anything beyond the basics. And then he quit that one, got another dumb job, again without skills and contacts. And so our life progressed through the years. B"H more children, other dumb jobs, never being able to spend on anything extra. He never went to school or took courses because he was always so overworked from his job and helping at home with the kids.

[skipping further down] He’s a good man. He is willing to work. But he doesn’t seem to be able to get decent paying jobs. He doesn’t really seem to have the know-how (or the resources) to start a business on his own. I don’t know if it is that he doesn’t present well at job interviews. Or he doesn’t have skills that the decent paying jobs require. Or he doesn’t have the initiative or ambition to really pull off a decent salary. Or he doesn’t look in the right places. Or he doesn’t network with the right people. Bottom line is he doesn’t bring in enough money for even our simple lifestyle. And so now recently, he lost his job again. And we are trying to live from my check and his unemployment check. And with this economy, and his lack of marketable skills, our high expenses, and at this point, his low confidence in himself, he isn’t finding
anything.

While many of the commentators mention the need for education and marketable skills (two important components of developing a career), I don't believe that the main issue for those who suffer from perpetual unemployment (mostly caused by QUITTING one job after another, no matter how "dumb" the job is) lies in the lack of education, networking, or marketable skills. I know janitors who have been with the same employer for decades, and I know PhDs who have left their jobs and flounder about aimlessly.

What I see is an underlying dissatisfaction with life in general, perhaps caused by depression. Sometimes I see a streak of entitlement. I see a hint of this above in calling the jobs "dumb". What could possibly be dumb about working and providing a service for an employer and others? The largest issue I see is the inability to cope: The inability to cope with one's own emotions, the inability to cope with other people, and the inability to cope with frustration, disappointment, and adversity.

Where a person has a clear history of quitting one job after another, I'm fairly certain that the solution is NOT education (either vocational or graduate), starting one's own business (doing what I'm not sure), or networking/job assistance (let's not forget that taking on a new employee is an investment that a business makes and that no investor wants a negative ROI). In fact, college itself can be used as a means of avoiding problems. Suggesting education for a person with such a job history may very possibly fall under the category of a "throw money at it solution".

Beyond any possible medical intervention that might be recommended (I'm no doctor, so I won't discuss such), I believe the first step for a person with a such a job history is to find and hold a job for an extended period of time, ideally within the 3-5 years period. It would be nice to find a job where the husband can develop some skills, but skilled or unskilled, I think the real flaw here is that a resume that shows job after job screams, I am unable to adapt to the workplace!

Employers do not "give" away jobs (and the sooner the frum world realizes this, the better off we will be). Employers "invest" in employees. The key to being able to get that next job after a less than stellar job history (whether you have no skills or a hold a PhD in Aeronautics) is to demonstrate commitment, the ability to function in the workplace, and some initiative and ambition. I believe that the solution to changing this problem is to get one's foot in the door and stick it out through thick and thin in an attempt to make the resume tell a better, or at least neutral, story.

A Legitimate Need Too

The admininstrator of Beyond BT is seeking advice for a BT friend for which the son is marrying an FFB girl. One of the items up for discussion is how to deal with the (expected) "gashmius factor" of frum weddings. The couple has "no family support" and is looking for cost cutting tips and figuring out what is truly "indispensable."

I've written my own cost cutting wedding posts and featured guest posts from others here. But, what I would like to turn your attention too is advice that is commonly given when there are expectation differences when planning a wedding.

That advice basically reads as such: spend the money for the sake of peace, so that the chatan/kallah will not feel uncomfortable around her friends and feel *deprived*, or so that the in-laws with greater needs will not be embarrassed in front of their friends. Such advice was given by a BeyondBT commentor who writes the following:

[Those] with the benefit of a mature point of view, it is fine to say that the gift-giving is out of hand, trite, etc. And you are correct. But, please realize that often the Kallah is in the 18-22 year old range and lacks that maturity. It is important not to make her uncomfortable with her friends by depriving her of at least some of the jewelry she may be expecting. It can, however, be on the lower priced end of the spectrum (You might want to look into a treated diamond for the ring). But you don’t want to create a feeling of resentment that can last many, many
years.

And I don’t want to hear comments about how, if she is mature enough to get married, etc. etc. There are different levels of maturity, and sometimes we just need life experience to teach us about what is not important in long run.

While I certainly do believe that wedding planning between the couple (novel, I know to involve them) and their respective parents should be undertaken in the spirit of shalom and reasonable and prudent generosity, I want to present an idea that I have yet to see mentioned in discussions of how to approach the "gashmius factor." In nearly every discussion I've been privy too regarding wedding negotiations, there is recognition of the legitimacy of the needs of the parties that expects more. But, I have never seen recognition of the needs of the parties that would like less.

Certainly there is some recognition that money is limited and that a family might only have so much to give. But, I'm looking beyond that. I'm addressing the deep seeded values regarding consumption, ostentation, and modesty. Simply put, there are some families that just aren't comfortable throwing that type of affair. And, that holds true even if they do have the financial means to make such an affair.

Orthodox culture is not, by any means, the only culture that deals with the "gashmius factor." In fact there are populations that put on far more ostentation in their affairs. Try, if you can, to imagine that your own son or daughter was marrying in a ceremony for which the future mechutanim were high income, or even average income Indian family (average cost of an Indian wedding significantly exceeds the income range for a middle income family, sometimes many times over, not including valuables or cash given as part of the dowry), expecting to spend a minimum of mid-five figures and in all likelihood well into the six figures for a grand affair.

My guess is that even families who walk in lock step with what is expected re: Orthodox/Chassidish/Yeshivish weddings, would feel highly uncomfortable engaging in the over-the-top wedding spending patterns prevalent in certain Asian and Eastern cultures.

As such, I think it is important that when families sit down to plan a simcha, that they respect the limitations of the parties who don't care to walk in lock step with whatever is the latest and greatest for young Orthodox couples. For some, the gift expectations alone might be akin to asking them to procure an elephant for the wedding processional.

Disconnect (Continued from last post)

A regular commentor felt that my last post was full of vitriol. If others detected that too, I apologize. I most certainly did not mean to convey such an emotion. I don't think that any feelings on the anger spectrum are particularly helpful in this debate. True, I have little sympathy for someone who places tuition in the same sentence as camp and making weddings. But that said, I absolutely recognize the strain of $20,000 a year of tuition in any middle income budget, especially in the budget of a family with six children to care for. (And, personally, I think it is important for us as a people and as a whole to "be fruitful and multiple.")

What I do think the letter underscores is that the way the scholarship system is designed leaves a lot to be desired. The letter writer is the receipient of a very large discount/scholarship. Yet he does seem not associate this discount/scholarship with receiving tzedakah, but rather goes on to demand that an elusive someone set up a tzedakah fund to help him.

I've never seen anyone complain that Bikur Cholim, which provides meals, support, and financial assistance, left them with some bills that they would need to meet independently. I've never seen anyone complain that Tomchei Shabbos allows families to be left without food during the week. I've never seen a family that received assistance in making a wedding complain that Hachnasat Kallah expected them to meet some percentage of the cost of the wedding.

Yet, somehow, tuition is different. Large a small donors give tzedakah throughout the year. Full tuition continues to rise making the cost of yeshiva even more prohibitive (and those who pay often scrap by without signing their child up for even a single extracurricular that would be in the interests of said child). And at the end of the day, there are people who receive substantial amounts of assistance screaming out that it is not enough.

But what I really suspect is that these families have tunnel vision. They see a massive $20,000 bill staring them in the face. That bill is so overwhelming to them, that they lack the ability to make a connection between their tuition that overwhelms them, the high tuition rates paid by other struggling families, the numerous fundraisers put on by the school, and the ongoing giving campaigns. There is a massive fee to be paid. That is what is first and foremost in the mind of the tuition payer (even the subsidized tuition payer), and it appears that there is limited understanding that such a massive bill is also being massively subsidized.

I do think that the system of scholarships/discounts needs to be overhauled. I think that the way things work today causes a great deal of consternation, anger, and even sinah that is completely counterproductive to actually tackling the issues on the table in the productive way.

Dear Orthonomics: When do you use your savings?

Dear Orthonomics,
Here's my financial situation. I'm married with 3 kids, expecting a 4th, live in a high tuition area and have two in school. The third is starting school next year. We have a combined income in the low $100Ks, I work full time, wife works part time, and her salary goes mostly to babysitting and taxes. After taxes, babysitting and commuting, there's barely anything left. She works primarily to keep her job for when all kids are in school (and she can work without paying a babysitter).
Now my question:We have been managing up until now, because we have a small mortgage, live very frugally, and basically spend NO money on non-essentials (read vacation, entertainment, trips, toys). The yeshiva gives us small tuition breaks, and up until now, we've been getting by.
With a third tuition next year, I project that our expenses will now surpass our income by several thousand dollars a year. Tuition burden will be approximately 30% of income. We have a nice amount in savings (expenses for about one year) but don't really add much to it, and starting in September, will add nothing to it unless we get a windfall.
It is reasonable for a yeshiva, or reasonable practice in general, to use savings to make up the difference in living expenses year and year?
My firm belief is NO. I consider yeshiva a living expense, and all living expenses should be covered by income. If income doesn't cover it, you can't afford it. Savings, in my opinion, is either for emergencies or special purchases that one saves for (car, house, smachot, etc.).
Am I living in a dream world, thinking that a savings account is sacred or is there is a reasonable expectation that savings are to be used to cover shortfalls in income? The danger, of course, is that expenses rise year after year faster than salaries do, so after enough years of doing this, savings will be depleted with no hope of recovery, and then there's no way to cover expenses either.
Please weigh in. Thanks!
Y. Doe

Dear Mr. Doe,

First off, wishing you a ba'shaa tova on your good news.

I am not going to address whether a Yeshiva asking a family to spend down their savings before receiving assistance is reasonable. Each yeshiva/day school is free to set its own policies regarding tuition assistance and schools have to worry about their bottom line, as do parents. In the long run, I think healthy finances for organizations and families go hand-in-hand. But most of our organizations simply aren't in the long-term macro planning mode. So instead of debating that question, I think it more important to address questions pertaining to familial finance.

Like you, I consider savings sacrosanct and believe that in all but emergency situations, savings are not there to cover day-to-day expenses but to carry a family over when there is an unplanned (but temporary) emergency, one-time purchases of big ticket items, and long term prosperity. Some have to budget their cash by the week or month, others in periods of 3 or 6 months. Whatever your time frame, if you cannot meet regular expenses with regular income (i.e. earned income) you have a developing issue.

Your instincts are perfectly correct when you state that tuition really should be met by a regular budget, not savings. I think tuition is a bit of a confusing issue for people. After all, don't regular Joe's spend 18 years saving for each child's college tuition and then dip into savings to cover that tuition? Yes, they do. They also have a small number of children and only expect to pay college tuition for a small amount of time. But Yeshiva tuition falls into a different category for the average Orthodox family. The years of paying tuition extend for large periods of time and for a large number of children, thereby pushing them into the "day-to-day" category.

Since you mentioned savings for smachot, I think we should take a brief look at this category of expense. Particularly, when must these expenses be covered by regular income and when can they be covered by savings? Here I think there are two factors to consider: 1) what is the occasion of the simcha? and 2) what is the family dynamic?

I'm going to differentiate between the "bar" and the "mitzvah". If a baby boy is born and the family simply doesn't have the cash from regular income to cover the basics of a brit milah (i.e. paying the mohel to perform the circumcision and serving a minimal seudah), then it will be necessary to turn towards savings. A circumcision is a must and it must be paid for. Same would go towards purchasing a pair of tefillin for a bar mitzvah boy (although I imagine one could borrow tefillin from a shul or gemach in a particularly dire situation, but I'm not really addressing a dire situations). With the exception of mitzvah purchases, I'd say that the rest of the simcha and its cost and how it is funded will vary depending on the family dynamic.

Within the Orthodox community we have families of different sizes, as well as differences in income. Those factors, and family size plays in heavily, will play into how a family living on a budget approaches budgeting for smachot. Above we considered some factors that make an expense a regular day-to-day expense or an irregular expense for which touching savings unreasonable.

A nerdy person might create an average simcha frequency by projecting the amount of time one has to save between the birth of a first child and the approximate date of the final simcha divided by the number of large smachot they need to plan for (if you only plan to throw a slightly nicer kiddush for a bar mitzvah, you might not need to calculate simcha into your projected frequency ). I would say that if the average simcha frequency is 2 years or less, what you spend on smachot would best come from current cash flow. If the simcha frequency mirrors the period between buying the next family vehicle, it wouldn't be completely unreasonable to dip into savings. If you are in between both frequencies, a hybrid approach could be a reasonable "rule of thumb" approach, but the lower the frequency, the more imperative it would be to avoid dipping into savings as part to maintain healthy personal finance. Like you mention with tuition, regular expenses cannot drain a family to the point they can't recover. I mention smachot because these too, can drain a family and put them past the point of no recovery.

The letter writer is looking forward to reader comments knowing that their family situation is not unique. I'm sure my readers will deliver.

With only good wishes for your family and your new edition which you can "afford" although I'm not sure you can afford tuition at this point and may have to think out of the box (you are not alone there!).

Orthonomics

A Few Things

The current Yated has a plea for families to purchase Life Insurance written by Rabbi Binyomin Ginsburg. He mentions purchasing it as a "segula" not because it is a segula, but because it might incline more people to do the prudent thing. Such is the state of Orthodoxy I imagine. At the end of the article he writes about a free $50,000 life insurance program offered by Mass Mutual for education expenses. I'm hoping a reader will be willing to check out this program and report back. I've never heard of a free life insurance program that provides more than say $3000 to a customer of a bank, e.g. Here is the information:

Finally, I would like to share information with our readers about a program that is free of charge.MassMutual, an insurance company that sells life insurance, has a program called LifeBridge. This is a free life insurance policy designed to help people pay for tuition after the death of a parent, r”l. Under the LifeBridge Free Life Insurance Program, Mass-Mutual will issue a $50,000 life insurance policy to a trust for a period of 10 years and at no cost to the insured. MassMutual pays the premiums. If the person dies within that time period, the $50,000 is
used to cover the educational expenses of the children. The children have 10 years after the death or until age 35 (whichever is later) to use this $50,000 educational
benefit.

For more information about this program, contact MassMutual directly or feel free to contact Mr. Kahn at 718.436.0022. He will be glad to help in any way he can to have more people protected with life insurance.

In Israel, Rav Shteiman has said it is time to discontinue the vort, and go with a l'chaim following the engagement at the home of the kallah. Perhaps I'm missing some information being only familiar with things in America, but I can't really tell the difference between what people call vorts and l'chaims. Besides my husband and me, I can't think of too many people who have not had an engagement party (my husband will take issue, however, he claims that because our parents met for a meal in which he announced our engagement that we too had a party. . . . .next time one of my kids wants a birthday party with classmates, I will insist that a meal with family is a party :).

I personally am not at all attached to the practice of a vort or l'chaim. I think engagements are best started off slowly, without a bash. It seems extremely logical to me that when cutting expenses, the vort be the first thing on the cutting block. The Simcha Guidelines from about a decade ago also called for only a small l'chaim. I wonder if a decade later, someone else will call for discontinuation or if the financial realities will finally par down on this expense. Time will only tell.

Also of interest is a story in Haaretz as reported by VIN that Badatz has ruled that Chareidim in Israel cannot invest in stocks of Israeli companies. The concerns reported are that Chareidim should not become *partner* in companies that violate Shabbat and engage in inappropriate advertising. I won't even bother to comment that investing does not make on a partner; I actually have my own moral concerns with certain American companies and don't care to invest directly or patronize certain companies. That said, such an announcement is disturbing in combination with the past policies I've reported on. I guess the post He Can't Work, She Can't Work could now, in light of this new pronouncement be titled He Can't Work, She Can't Work, Nor Can They Invest. It seems that each month, we the big fat pocket book, are privy to another report of what Chareidim can't do because it violates religious principal. Worse yet is when leadership complains that Chareidim can't get ahead because of the man. Seriously, it is no wonder that people think about selling a kidney (which is in fact not permissible).

What surprises me most about the Haaretz reports that of the 50,000 Chareidi households, 42% deposit 825 NIS a month in savings plans. According to this exchange rate calculator that is almost $220 a month. There are so many people in America unable to save such amounts monthly. This just seems unbelievable given the unemployment rate and other stats.

Moshiach will pay the Credit Card

I feel compelled to respond to a comment I received in the last post where I once again penned some thoughts to Matzav regarding what I believe is irresponsible journalism on the part of Matzav. Once again Matzav published a letter decrying the cost of being frum. But this time the article not only featured the subject of just how terribly expensive it is to be frum, but it centered around the subject of **contemplating suicide** in response to the overwhelming costs. Now, we all know that observance comes with a price tag, but there is a way of addressing that cost and a way to not address that cost. Frankly, publishing the words suicide in response to that cost is crossing a line in my book. I believe we are all familar with the words of Rav Feinstein who admonished a generation for saying "it is hard to be a Jew." I think the constant barrage of letters/editorials about being frum = broke do the same terrible disservice. My hope is that through this medium, I am able to offer up a different message that the challenges are surmountable so long as we recognize the underlying issues, approach the challenge with some courage and sechel, and trust that Hashem will not leave us socially ostracized and our children friendless and shidduchless because we didn't conform to the standards set by "the system."

This Pesach, Matzav treated us to an editorial whinning about how expensive Pesach is (Pesach poundcake is a killer). Two Pesachs prior, the Yated treated us to a letter complaining that Pesach has left families in the red (how do you afford those afikoman gifts and chol hamoed trips?). And each Pesach since I started penning my thoughts on these issues, I (with the help of some fantastic commenters) have put forward a number of money saving tips for consideration because I believe that man cannot serve to masters: Hashem and Mastercard.

This week I received this comment which I'd like to just address head on:

I've read the comments to the "letter writer" on Matzav and the comments here and there is a world of difference in the basic outlook. The comments on Matzav are religious in outlook - tefillah, Moshiach - and also very compassionate. Many commenters say they are in exactly the same situation and they totally understand. The comments on Orthonomics are highly practical and rather disdainful of people who put frum values ahead of balancing the budget. In fact, none of you really seem to understand the religious way of thinking. I have often read on this blog criticism of lack of birth control in the religious community - why do they have so many children? When I have commented that birth control will never be accepted in the frum world, I have read comments like "why not?" The point I'm making is that people who are religiously motivated and people who are motivated by practical concerns will never be able to understand each other. Oh, the reason frum people will not accept birth control is not because of community pressure - it's because first, frum people believe it is a commandment from the Torah to have children, second, they LOVE children, and third, they are willing to live at a very minimal level to sustain a Torah life. Visit Lakewood and see how most families there live. You will see that they truly believe in a Torah life, and while these are not your interpretations of what the Torah requires, they are admirably consistent. They are not motivated solely or even primarily by community pressure. They are motivated by BELIEF.

Note the title of my post, "Moshiach will pay the creditors." Way back when I was a student trying to wrap my head around the ins and outs of going concerns and bankruptcy chapters, budgeting and leveraging, I discovered these very issues were present right in my own community. I think the first time that it hit me was when I was sitting with a lovely Rebbitzen, small business owner, and friend who had just had a wedding like I'd never seen before, which was shortly followed by a much more intimate bar mitzvah. The wedding was a first wedding for this very large family and one of the largest I've attended to date. There was not a detail missing in the festivities from a formal vort, to the jewelry, to the edible flowers on the salad. I can only make an educated guess about the cost of the wedding, but I'm nearly certain I could put a child through (public) law school or med school including a generous allowance for living costs for the cost of the wedding. Somehow as we were chatting, I found out that they had yet to pay for the wedding. This might have been the first time I realized that people really did borrow against their homes to pay for things they wanted. I would not take out a credit card for another five years, so I was still in the dark that I could actually write myself a check for cash to take the vacation I so deserved.

Once my eyes were opened they were opened wide, I learned a lot quickly. A little later I was privy to a conversation between someone else and her daughter in which some rather large credit card debts were mentioned (they were adding to them because they "needed" new dresses for all the kids for a simcha and I believe the discussion was if they had enough credit for the purchase). I had just been signed to my first real job and couldn't comprehend how anyone could *pay* for such debt, especially given the demographic and career choice, and just blurted out, "how will you pay that off?" The reply: "When Moshiach comes, he will pay [off the credit card]." It would have been funny, except there wasn't a hint of humor. She later explained something to the effect that unless a frum Jew was wealthy, they would juggle debt.

A lot of what I have learned and write about comes from published words, conversations, and observations. But, I've also had my fair share of runs-ins with people who can't pay their bills or simply stiff you. E.g., I took on some work for a family that who does all of the same things my commenter mentioned. Every conversation has has a "religious outlook." Tefillah, bitachon, emunah, mashiach; it is all in the conversation. The problem? The work is done, but you get a message not to cash the check because something else came up. And the next check bounces from here to there and back again and the "practical" person ends up on the phone with a local posek trying to figure out what courses of action would be permissible to now collect the funds.

I don't separate the practical from the religious or frum. To me they are completely intertwined, and I see this in the Torah I've learned and from the Rabbonim I've consulted on "practical" issues. The commenter writes "[I/we are] disdainful of people who put frum values ahead of balancing the budget." To me balancing the budget IS a "frum" value.

The cannon canon of Torah is filled with instructions on how to engage in commerce and ownership. And there is a spirit there too. While borrowing is permitted, Mishlei comments on the relationship between the creditor and the debtor and tehillim makes mention of those who do not repay their debts. The sources address a mitzvah b'averiah in classic discussions on whether a person can fulfill the mitzvah of arba minim if they don't have ownership of the item. The wedding ring must be owned by the chatan to make a valid transaction. The Ben Ish Hai addresses such practical matters such as how a wife should budget and spend her husband's money in his writing for women. No less than Rav Salantar includes thrift in his middot.

Derech Eretz kadma l'Torah is a fundamental concept. I think that being able to pay your bills as agreed upon would fit right under the banner of derech eretz kadma l'Torah. Putting yourself in a position where you are engaging in a life of debt means that eventually something will give. Creditors will not be paid. Food and services that you consumed and made a beracha over will not be paid. Pledges that you made will go unfilled. Lawyers, dentists, and schools will go unpaid. Unfortunately there are businesses (grocery stores no less) with massive receivables on their books. Schools and shuls experience the same phenomena. Years ago I met a wonderful couple visiting from a certain neighborhood known for its piety. The family had a business within the community and when he found out I was an accountant, he wanted to share with me a trick he learned on how to 'clean out' as much as he could from the bank accounts of people who wrote him bad checks. Let's just say I didn't learn this trick in business school. I'm a very simple person. I still like to assume that when someone writes a check that it will cash.

Operating in a constant state of red invites ethical challenges. This is not to say that people who live with great wealth don't fall to the yetzer hara (think Enron), but supporting a lifestyle that is not commensurate with income is an invitation to the yetzer hara. I've seen it with my own two eyes.

To close I want to say one last thing: while many of my commentators feel strongly that families should not have "more children than they can afford," (there are VIN and Matzav commentators who say the same thing!), I have a liking for large families. I think that having a growing, expanding, and alive community is our lifeblood. I think it is well worth while to forgo plenty of extras to have more children. The issue that we have is defining the extras and we have made everything a requirement in the name of frumkeit so that we don't even know what "minimal" is. When camp become minimal and dental work to fix rotting teeth becomes extra, you have a problem. And that problem isn't particularly related to family size, but priorities.

Selling a Kidney?

Hat Tip: rosie and other readers of this blog (thanks)

According to a Ynet article published on VIN News, a psak is in that it is in fact not permissible to sell your kidney to marry off a daughter and that families. There is also a report of a newly married kid who sued his father-in-law for funding. No, this is not Purim Torah, although I'm a bit skeptical regarding the newspaper report. And yes, I'm continually surprised that just when I thought I had blogged about the last ridiculous thing something even more ridiculous comes along to eclipse it.

The shaila of whether or not one can sell a kidney is naturally getting the most play (e.g. what is the plan once there are no more kidney's to sell?), but the real subject of interest should be just why leadership is so woefully disconnected from the state of the union and simple economic reality. It is reported that Rab Eliyashiv is "mortified" by the financial state by the yeshiva students' families and suggests significant cutbacks on weddings rather than chasing after wedding funds. As per the article, Rabbi Yehuda Leib Steinman has called those who encourage young men to make financial demands "murderers" who jeopardize their bride's parents health and future. And the Rosh Yeshiva of Yad Aharon appears upset that fathers have to leave the beis medrash to "seek funding" for their undertakings and that the situation must be changed immediately. The way I read between the lines is that he'd rather the parents not have to "fund raise" so they can remain in earning. But, presumably, the money has to come from somewhere.

What I'd like to know is why is the leadership finds the financial state at all surprising? As far as I am concerned, the writing has been on the wall for a long time coming and it is an open miracle that the financial situation is as good as it is. The policies of the leadership/those who surround the leaders, accepted by the general public, are simply disastrous. I don't have my finger on the pulse of the community, but I can imagine that many are reaching their breaking point and are ready to boil over. A shame that a greater level of normality isn't being introduced. Rather, each month it seems we hear of more restriction. A shame because desperation rarely leads to good.

Guest Post: An Orthonomic Chanukah Note

Thank you to Ariella of Kallah Magazine for allowing me to use one of her Chanukah posts as a Guest Post here. I thought this was a very appropriate post for Chanukah here at Orthonomics.

In Made in Heaven: A Jewish Wedding Guide, (Moznaim Publishing, 1983 p. 32), Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan brings up the issue of squandering money on lavish weddings that should be put to better use in providing the couple with necessities. He recalls an illustration offered by his friend, Rabbi Shmuel Mendelson. Hillel and Shamai had different views about the order in which Chanukah candles should be lit. As we know, we follow the opinion of Beis Hillel, which is to begin with one and add on a candle each successive night. However, Beis Shamai’s view was that the candles should parallel the cows offered during Sukkos, which began with the full number but went down one each day.

Rabbi Mendelson observed that Beis Shamai’s approach is followed by those who believe they must start out married life with everything. They are the ones who would register for the expensive china and silver sets, buy full suites of Italian furniture, and set it all up in a home they cannot afford to keep up. “When they begin, they have everything.” But when reality sets in and their income cannot keep up with their expenses, “they find their lives diminishing.”

Then there are couples who see the wisdom of Beis Hillel’s approach in their own life. “They can start off with one candle – with very little.” These are the ones who make do with a modest apartment furnished with second-hand pieces and dishes that are priced by the set rather than the place setting. So they do not begin in a blaze of glory. “But for the rest of their life they are adding.”

A Chanukah Sameach to all of my readers and wonderful commentors.

More on Gemach Loans

Don't pass over my second post on the age gap below, but I want to make sure this gets out there too, with thanks to "The Jewish Worker."

Wow! If this letter isn't eye opening, I don't know what will be. The idea of having this many bills to pay is simply mind boggling. I can only imagine the consumption of time. I manage clients with too much going on and this is far and beyond. This is simply ridiculous! A principal of good financial management is to keep things simple. We've opened up far too many accounts over the years and are trying to consolidate and par down where wise. Read these excerpts from this Mishapacha letter [emphasis mine]:

...When I began marrying off children, I saw no way over the fence except to take out gemach loans. ...I knew that the only way I could keep going was to continue to juggle loans. I"ve married off five children and have another six to go. I"m currently juggling about 45 gemachim. My days and nights are consumed with payback schedules deadlines and possibilities for other loan sources. For me it's to late to get out of the web. But it's not too late for others to not get sucked in.
Juggled to Death Jerusalem

Consumption debt does more than destroy a financial base, it can destroy one's time and ability to earn a living (a theme that Mesila has taken up in their newsletters). It is clearly time to acknowledge that some things simply aren't working. Let's hope that with the next 6 kids, they serve cake and punch to the neighbors instead of taking on more obligations to juggle. As any juggler knows, at a certain point the clubs can't be controlled and they hit you in the head.

Fascinating Article on a Wedding Culture (Thankfully) Not Our Own

Well if this isn't super interesting, I'm not sure what it is. Thank you to Ezzie for pointing out this interest article on Korean wedding traditions.

Yet Another Use for Limited Tzedakah Funds

Link to story on VIN.
What will "they" think of next? Poverty continues to worsen, schools both in Israel and America are collapsing. But, someone is always thinking of a new way to (drum roll please) SPEND MONEY.

A seminary in Israel plans to give students who agree not to wear makeup at their own wedding 1000 NIS (approx $265) in the form of a scholarship. The article is poorly written, so it is hard to tell if the girls sign up when engaged or when in school. If the latter, the opportunity to take money and not follow through is ripe.

Apparently the seminary isn't too pleased that after all of the education, the "girls" aren't making the choices that the school would like: (quote) "before their wedding the girls are exempted from the school's strict rules, leading many brides to put on heavy makeup."

The school can't judge the response yet because not enough "girls" have married yet. Thankfully, I don't see many girls, even from the most stringent homes, signing on the dotted line.

Also, when does the prohibition of adding to the Torah get violated? Clearly the minhag has always been for Jewish women to adorn themselves on their wedding day.

Lots more to say, so you say it!

Ask Orthonomics: Reader Asks For Insight and Essentially An Intro To This Blog



This week's question comes from a reader that writes the following:

Hi SL -

I'd like to ask your insight on 3 related items:

1 - do you have a Top 10 list of your articles from your Orthonomics blog on how to save & thrive within the Orthonomics model?

Sadly my blog is not yet well organized (perhaps if we get snowed in, I can rectify that). But I have shared many of my own rules of the road as well as tips. Here are some of posts that might be of interest:

1. Camping, Playgroups, Babysitting: My friend "A Mother In Israel" wrote a Guest Post for me on organizing a co-op camp for children. The same ideas can be extended to work low cost pre-school cooperatives. And formal and informal round robins can be used to help cut down on babysitting expenses for times when you need a babysitting (weddings, dentist and doctor appointments, etc). The key is to find friends willing to give these alternatives a try.
2. New to You Shopping, i.e. buying used at garage sales, consignment stores, and thrift stores, has not only cut our expenses, but has also put my kids in "better" clothing than what we would normally purchase. I love inverse relationships!
3. Pesach for many means overspending, but that doesn't have to be the case. Pesach is a holiday of freedom, so becoming a slave to Mastercard certainly makes no sense. Here are tips from year past: 2006, 2007, and 2009.
4. Weddings and any other smachot don't Need to break the bank by design either. One Guest Poster writes about her super-frugal wedding. Here is what we did to keep our wedding under control. I personally think the overspending on weddings is a HUGE issue and if just this one issue could be tackled it would go a long way towards improving "The State of the Union"; shidduchim, shalom bayit, financial issues.. . you name it and the hub practically revolves around the issue of killing ourselves over a one night, 5 hour affair. Ludicrous!
5. Organizing Cost Effective Grocery Shopping is how we save thousands of dollars a year. Some people love Costco, but I'm apprehensive. I think that good menu planning and shopping the circulars is key. Some don't care to talk about the small numbers, but I am thoroughly convinced that a decade of smart grocery shopping has contributed tremendously to our bottom line.
6. But, if you like to focus on the big, try Too Much Too Soon which looks at the hidden costs of too much stuff, too much car, too much house, and too many services (yes, I do dare to suggest the cost cutting measure of trying to get away with less services including, but not limited to, cleaning help). In another post I pointed out that a Yated letter writer's budget was not being crushed by tuition, but by the biggies including a huge mortgage and the utilities that go along with it, camp and going to a bungalow colony, and cleaning help amongst other ridiculously large expenses.
7. Of course, cutting down on peer pressure while choosing to live within your means isn't easy when "everyone" else is spending like there is no tomorrow. I think mitigating peer pressure is important.
8. Budgeting is key. There are lots of great budgeting software out there. I personally track everything on good 'ol Microsoft Excel which is not particularly the most efficient, but it works for me. Now that I have a bunch of clients on Quickbooks, I will likely stick my own stuff in there since I have so darn much of it and it continues to get more complicated by the day. Budgeting Tool #1 (Monthly Budget Tracking and Summary), Budgeting Tool #2 (Cash Flow Analysis), Budgeting Tool #3 (Asset and Liability Tracker, i.e. a balance sheet. . .but without considering the value of my home because I'm not selling anytime soon, nor borrowing against it), and Budgeting Tool #4 (Year-by-year budget comparison).
9. Living below your means and saving for the future is important, but you need to insure against the terrible possibility of a death in the family. I wrote about Life Insurance early on, and a reader was kind enough to put together a basic primer on Life Insurance Basics. I have yet to write about disability or long-term care insurance. They too are important. It is naive to think the community will (or even can) pick up the pieces for you as this family in Money Magazine believes (ouch)!
10. And to round out the Top 10 posts/subject matters, I will just mention that I believe financial issues are best tackled early, with honesty, and with a belief that the problems can be solved through hard work.

Well, that list should provide at least a few things to hang your hat on!

2 - have you or any of your readers considered or seen the following:
creating virtual learning for frum schools as is currently being done for secular colleges and other professional online training.
community limits on simcha spending
a paid service plan like insurance that pays for chasonnas
communities working together to cook for simchas.

Virtual Learning
As far as I know there are entrepreneurs looking to develop virtual learning. I was even fortunate enough to have a guest poster write about Virtual Schooling. Room 613 (sorry I can't remember the web address) is one that I have heard of geared towards frum students. While I try to use my little 'soap box' to look at education alternatives from homeschooling, to hybrid schooling, or alternative schedules (the four day schedule continues to grow on me) as well as news out of public schools, I don't see myself jumping on the virtual learning bandwagon quite yet, but I do believe there is a lot of potential. But this comes from someone who doesn't believe calculators should be used until algebra, and then only a basic 4-function. I'm not a technophobe, but a personal connection to the educator still is a basic for me.

Spending Limits on Smachot
Regarding community spending limit on smachot, I think the plans have helped somewhat, but they aren't very effective. The Agudah put foward some standards in the early part of this decade, but it is hard to take the standards seriously when a disclaimer was offered that the standards would not apply in "exceptional circumstances." The vort, which was supposed to be eliminated, continues to grow in popularity. And, I haven't been to any "normal" weddings where the sisters of the chatan and kallah were not wearing ballroom gowns.

Different Chassidish communities have been experimenting with takanot and, quite frankly, what is laid out in stone is still ridiculously expensive even though the kehilla, unlike those the Agudah targets, are bound to listen. Helping shave costs is important, but when incomes don't cover the expenses, I'm afraid it is time to switch to the "Cake and Punch" option.

And the emphasis on gift-giving (despite the laundry list of mandatory "gifts" being trimmed) is still ridiculously expensive. Furthermore, while I realize that the dating cycle of the modern Orthodox young lady and her Chassidish counterpart are worlds apart, I question the emphasis on gift giving the the yeshivish and Chassidish worlds. I believe that the amount of money spend on gifts is not only terribly expensive and unjust to those without the means, but that it disconnects a the young couple from the reality that is about to hit them when they get married.

The Belz community has decided that interest free loans to the tune of $25,000 for each mechutan is the way to go. I counter that a plan that starts with debt isn't much of a plan at all, even if the massive amount of debt is easier to dig out of because it is interest free. Plus, the gemach fund should be just about all but broke now.

If I were writing a wedding takana it would simply be no loans, not against the house, not against the 401k, and certainly not against the credit card. Once you are dealing with cash, it is an entirely different beast. Bring on the lox and bagels!

Communities working together to cook for simchas

In the first question I pointed to a post on camp co-operatives. There is no reason that families can't come together to provide sides dishes for a brit milah, bar mitzvah, or even a wedding (although it would be problematic in a shul or facility where there needs to be a food license). Sheva berachot very often involve such efforts. There is no reason no to try and promote this solution, perhaps amongst a small group of friends. There are library books about forming co-operatives that are fair to those involved. That would be a good resource to look at if you want to try something in a small community, or amongst demographic, e.g. young couples having their 1st or 2nd child.

3. Has anyone outlined the timeline of frum milestones & financial planning [as is being talked about on http://serandez.blogspot.com/search/label/Jewish%20Economics%20Survey ]

I'm not sure I understand the question, so I hope the writer will elaborate.

General financial goals might include: building an emergency fund, saving for a down payment on a home (I'm a traditionalist and still believe in down payments), funding retirement accounts, putting away money for your children's education. Those looking to start their own business or take on a big investment might include milestones to fund and build the business, as well as meet certain milestones in certification, education, and what have you.

Frum milestones would include paying tuition (ouch!), brit milah (the minimum: paying the mohel and serving a seudah to a minyan), bar mitzvah (the minimum: tefillin, tallit where applicable, and either a kiddush or sedah to mark the occassion). Chuppah (the minimum: a ring + a photocopied ketubah+ minyan to be present at and share in the seudah), Levaya-may you live to 120- (minimum: kosher pinebox + kittel + burial plot).

I see no reason to mark any occasion with the bare minimum by design, but I also see no need to make conformity my be all and end all when what the Goldberg's are doing doesn't particularly suit our way of going about things. As, the radio talk show host would say:"Don't even consider keeping up with the[Goldberg's]. THEY'RE BROKE."

with appreciation,

A Reader

A Stamp of Approval from a Prominent Chareidi Rav

Hat Tip: DAG and L. Lennhoff

Just a month ago I wrote a post that any wedding takana beginning with debt, even interest free debt, wasn't much of a plan to begin with and that only the two rules needed to govern weddings should be 1) don't spend a penny more than you have in available cash and 2) govern all affairs with modesty.

Turns out a prominent Chareidi Rav, Rav Michel Yehuda Lifkowitz, is saying the same things. He is quoted as saying:
"A person may not marry his children relying on getting money for the expenses from free loan funds."

• "Many times, the happiness one sees in weddings is only a facade, because of the heavy debts crouching on the parents," he said.
• [In response to a question whether or not a father can obligate himself to payments that will result in an endless cycle of debt and borrowing from one gemach to pay another] he answers there is no heter to marry children at others' expense."
• "A young avreich should not take upon himself a heavy load of debt that he must pay monthly because this will not let him concentrate on his studies."

It is nice to see a Rav taking a commonsense approach (although underneath that commonsense approach is the expectation that most/all young chareidi chatanim will learn and the parents will make a wedding in the way it is supposed to be done, which is anything but sensical).

So there you have it: don't go into debt (unless you are Belz, or something like that). Unfortunately there is no real substance behind these statements of position so long as things remain the same.

So Long As We Are On Wedding Overload. . . . .

(Yes, we will move over to the subject of what in the world is going on in Teaneck!)
It must be "wedding season" because I'm not the only one talking about weddings. Head on over to SerandEz where a young seamstress (glad to know there are still young ladies pursuing something beyond OT and ST) tells about her experiencing servicing kallahs and their mothers and the two year old sisters who must also get their hair done!

Leave your comments here. Once again, I recommend the book NO! Why parents need to say it and Children Need to Hear It. This book has an important chapter on the wiring of the brain, impulse control, etc. Saying NO is extremely important in the development cycle. Read the book, recommend it to your friends. Don't be afraid to say no to your children when they are young so they will be able to say NO to their own impulses when they are older.

Guest Post: Young Marriage Isn't the Problem!

Thank you to yet another eloquent guest poster!

I am a reader, but non-commenter on your blog. I read many of the 75 comments that the most recent post generated, and one thing I noticed was that everyone seemed to be attacking the concept of marrying young. As someone who married at 20 (spouse was also 20), I think your readers should hear the other side of the story.

We married the summer between junior and senior years of college, and we had been going to school full time up until that point, never having really worked at anything other than summer jobs. We lay in the fuzzy gray area known as right-wing Modern Orthodox and left-wing Yeshivish, so this was perfectly normal and acceptable in our circles. When we got engaged, we sat down with both sets of parents to discuss money. It was agreed that we were to have a modest wedding, with silk flowers, a small band (and not one of the more sought-after ones), a family friend for photography, and very simple food. I could detail the rest, but you get the idea- no extra expenditures there, no debt, paid for by both sets of parents who were thrilled to be marrying off their eldest (we are both the oldest). As for how we were to live for the first year, until graduation, both sets of parents agreed to give us the amount that they would be paying for the dorm and meal plan (money that would be paid anyway had we not gotten married, as they were paying for college). This money basically covered rent and food (which, again, is exactly what it would have covered had it been going to school instead of to us). We signed up for health insurance through the college, and the rest of the money for whatever other expenses, came from us taking part-time jobs. This is how we lived that first year, and it was hard, but since we wanted to get married at that time, that was what we had to do. And we understood that this arrangement meant that we had to live in an uncomfortably small apartment, buy cheaper food (we ate mostly milchigs, produce, and chicken that year, and we were just fine), and overall hold off on things that fell into the "wants" column in our budget (wonderful parents that we have sat down and taught us how to make a budget). I went on to graduate school while spouse went on to work full-time for a year before applying to business school. I worked part-time, and the money we made allowed our parents to scale back their help (although they still generously helped us), and we made do, even thoguh at this point, we had already had our first child (which, incidentally, was already able to "fit" into our budget, as my mother gave us the stroller, high chair, and crib that had only just been retired from use by my then-4-year-old brother). I finished grad school, got a full-time job, and spouse worked through business school. We had invested the money we had recieved in wedding gifts (which was not an insignificant amount) and b"h we are solid financially. We have never gone over budget, and we have just bought our fist house, we no longer receive financial help from our parents (only moral support!) and our family is growing ka"h. We are teaching our kids the values and practices that our parents have taught us.

So please do not blame early marriage- the blame lies with parents who do not prepare their children, and children who are immature and getting married because of expectations rather than readiness. There is no need to demand that people marry older, or work for years, or finish grad school- the real demand should be that a society that expects early marriage and young families should prepare their children for such.

We are b"h very happily and lovingly married, our children are happy and healthy, and Hashem has blessed us with a solid parnassah, despite these tough times. We would do it again 1000 times. -- Someone who married young

Another Reason to Pay for a Wedding in Cash

So long as we are discussing funding wedding with debt in Israel (and I do realize that Israel runs under a different set of economic rules, which I cynically could add puts Chassidish collectors at the doorsteps of every American Orthodox community, a miracle that the weight of the system hasn't caused financial collapse yet), I might as well add that going into debt to make a wedding is also considered "normal" right here in our own American backyard.

I have a handful of friends in the mortgage and real estate industry who tell me that nearly every (Orthodox) family borrows money, usually through their own home equity, to "make" a wedding. The presumption here is America is also that weddings are debt financed, not paid for in cash.

After all, as one agent told me: "Weddings cost a lot of money. How can a family afford to pay for a wedding in cash?" The debate on how to fund a wedding underscores an important difference in the approach to money. Those who function in their own cash economy with few exceptions (a home mortgage, initial funding for an income producing activity), don't tell themselves how much a wedding should cost to make the decision of how much to borrow. Rather they ask themselves what amount of cash reserves are prudent to spend and then base their wedding budget around that amount of cash.

Recently I ran into an acquaintance who divorced after a short marriage. When she had married, her mother, a friend of mine, had borrowed a significant sum of money to pay for the affair. I can't imagine the feeling of continuing to pay, month after month, year after year, for a wedding for which the marriage no longer exists. What a sad, sad situation. Best pay cash and just be done with it. . . . . .even if the marriage lasts forever.

A Plan that Starts With Debt Isn't Much of a Plan

Hat Tip: Ateres

A reader kindly pointed me to this story on VIN regarding new wedding takanot in Belzer kehillot and Israeli Litvish Kehillot. YWN recently reported a similar story regarding the Belz community.

The Belz wedding plan has three parts:
1. A Gemach the will send $25,000 to each mechutan with a "easy payback" plan.
2. List of costs that that will be reduced, applicable to all.
3. Joint purchasing power to reduce wedding and appliance costs.

My reader was impressed, but I personally don't see a plan that involves the couple's respective families indebting themselves to a tune of $50,000 as much of a plan at all even if this "plan" is an improvement.

And I don't care that the $25,000 loan is interest-free. There is nothing "easy" about paying back a $25,000 loan, especially if you are the parent of a super-sized family and plan to be marrying off one child after the next child. The average Chareidi family in Israel is 8 children I believe. How many families can realistically pay back $25,000 or $200,000?

I HATE debt. If I were to write a takana regarding weddings it would read as follows:

• Do not spend a penny more on wedding expenses than you have in currently available in cash.
• Let modesty rule the day regardless of how much available cash you have.

How's that for a takana?

Obscene!

For only $30 dollars a month you can help feed a child in a far away 3rd world country. Anyone want to guess what a well known tzedakah is asking to feed a family for Pesach alone? Take $30 and start multiplying. . . . . . . . . .

Obscene is the word my husband blurted out after I showed him an advertisement that was running in a publication for a well known tzedakah for aniyei Eretz Yisrael. This advertisement detailed the costs needed to be covered for aniyei Eretz Yisrael as follows:

Seder night for a smaller family = $214
Seder night for a larger family = $404
Entire Yom Tov for a smaller family (including clothing) = $1449
Entire Yom Tov for a larger family (including clothing) = $3088

My husband and I were simply astounded by these (high) figures and how an organization could ask for far more for one night or one week than the donor you are trying to attract is planning to spend, possibly for 6 months on their own needs? (The advertisement ran in a community that is not known for high incomes).

I only hope that the numbers are inflated. Personally I see no good purpose in inflating numbers. Inflating numbers doesn't underscore need, it makes the donor question the need, especially when your middle income donor in America, who is likely cutting back to make their own ends meet, isn't planning on spending so much for their own needs.

The notation "including clothing" was made in the form of an edit (light blue), in handwriting with a ^, instead typewriting. This too is disturbing. I have been reading numerous reports that the food situation in Eretz Yisrael is desperate. And when the situation regarding food is desperate, it seems to me that the concentration should simply be on feeding people. Yet that does not appear to be the case. In this report, a major philanthropist, is told by well known Rabbonim about the terrible and rampant poverty (bochurim in yeshiva are being fed only bread and water for breakfast and supper and those who have families with food-which from other articles seems to be few- are being asked to go home for Shabbat). One would think that given the situation regarding food, a major donor would be asked to either donate food and/or start some sort of program that could help the situation in the long term via job training and placement. But instead the recommended initiative was to donate suits to bochurim, of which 10,000 were donated.

While I do believe that we need to concentrate on our needs at home (a point emphasized by both Rabbi Schachter and the Rabbonim in Baltimore at another event I have yet to report on--thanks readers for all the info you have sent me!), the poverty in Eretz Yisarel is of great concern to me because the way it is being dealt (and I have another post about wedding takanot in the Belz and Yeshiva communities in Eretz Yisrael) underscores some very troubling issues vis a vis priorities in spending.

Signing off for now. (Hope this post wasn't too harsh).