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Friday, April 24, 2009

So Long As We Are On Wedding Overload. . . . .

(Yes, we will move over to the subject of what in the world is going on in Teaneck!)
It must be "wedding season" because I'm not the only one talking about weddings. Head on over to SerandEz where a young seamstress (glad to know there are still young ladies pursuing something beyond OT and ST) tells about her experiencing servicing kallahs and their mothers and the two year old sisters who must also get their hair done!

Leave your comments here. Once again, I recommend the book NO! Why parents need to say it and Children Need to Hear It. This book has an important chapter on the wiring of the brain, impulse control, etc. Saying NO is extremely important in the development cycle. Read the book, recommend it to your friends. Don't be afraid to say no to your children when they are young so they will be able to say NO to their own impulses when they are older.

12 comments:

Ezzie said...

I was actually surprised most people focused on the wedding aspect. Personally, I think the "mothers cowering" part is the scariest. Elianna already understands (though is not always thrilled) that No means No. It's amazing how some people can't even tell the same to 18-year olds.

Lion of Zion said...

we just came back from our monthly shabbat vacation to teaneck.
there is so much to write about, i can't wait to see what you focus on.
שבוע טוב

Avi said...

I dunno, SL. We say, "no," all the time. The boys get upset, then they move on. The girl... she throws fits. We still don't give in, so we can't figure out why she reacts this way every time. It's not like she has any expectation that we're going to cave into the fit, so she must get some personal satisfaction out of screaming for hours at a time.

What's going on in Teaneck? Everyone's obsessed with tuition costs, but that's not unique to Teaneck. It was really hot today, but I hear that it was hot elsewhere, too. Oh, and we voted down the public school budget increase.

Lion of Zion said...

AVI:

"not unique to Teaneck"

i don't know if it's a teaneck thing or a general NJ thing, but my friends in teaneck are paying considerably more than my LI friends for school. i don't know if base tuition is higher or if there is less assistance.

Honestly Frum said...

What's going on in Teaneck? We are still here.

Anonymous said...

I think for the most part, the closer you get to the city, the less you pay for tuition. Obviously there are exceptions (Flatbush, etc). Maybe it's due to competition?

Mark

Lion of Zion said...

MARK:

teaneck has 4.5 MO elementary schools in the vicinity (and others if you want to travel a little bit) and it's right over the bridge with easy access to nyc schools, yet it is stil more expensive than other suburbs.

(actually a friend of mine in teaneck just published an article in the local jewish paper arguing against the opening of a proposed no-frills school because there already are *so many* schools.)

Ariella said...

I think the point brought up in one of the Orthonomics points on tuition is key in the differences in tuition. In general, the more "modern" the school, the higher the tuition. Thus, on LI, the tuition for HAFTR is somewhat higher than for HALB (that may be due to extra obligations for building fund, etc) which is higher than the tuition for TAG. I believe Rambam charges the same as HAFTR as they are united under the umbrella title of Machon HaTorah, and that tuition is substantially higher than what is assessed by Yeshiva of Far Rockaway.
In Teaneck, Yeshiva North Jersey is considered among the most right of the choices there, but it is about tantamount to what HALB offers, which in its location is considered relatively left. But I would venture that YNJ's tuition is not that far off of HAlB'S. And I believe that the Passaic schools offer tuitions about the same as what TAG charges.

Dave in DC said...

As the parent of younger children who loves nothing better than to throw large long-term expenses into the budget now to prepare for down the line, I went looking for "model" budgets out there for Orthodox wedding costs. I found http://www.yoursimchasource.com/main.php?page=budget&title=Budget which seems pretty complete. Anyone want to take a stab at filling it out and posting it as a guest post? We could even do modest/moderate/extravagant and see what the delta really is...

Anonymous said...

I live in Teaneck. Depsite the opening of Yeshivat Noam, there are very very few spaces for children in 'new families. Yavneh, Noam, and RYNJ are all full from existing families. Moriah has room for less than 15 new families a year but it is a fourth choice options for most people. BPY is taking some of the overflow right now. So there is definitely room for another school. It is unfortunate that the rabbinate in Teaneck has been opposed to what would be the best option to provide a low-cost alternative to the existing schools: single sex, right-wing education a la yeshiva ketana of passaic.

Passaic area resident said...

YKP: It's low cost, single sex, right wing and has very low academic standards. I don't know how that would fly in Teaneck. Be careful what you wish for.

Anonymous said...

LOZ - Teaneck has 4.5 MO elementary schools in the vicinity (and others if you want to travel a little bit) and it's right over the bridge with easy access to nyc schools, yet it is still more expensive than other suburbs.[space]

Because Teaneck is generally quite a wealthy community (at least that's what I hear, and the house prices seem to bear it out). Relative to wealth, their tuitions are lower than many other suburbs of NY.

Mark