Shana Tova

Wishing all my readers a shana tovah. May you all be blessed with a year of life, health, and parnassah. Back after the break with some more posts on a variety of topics.

Lakewood Sensibilities or just plain Sensible?

Chaim of Divrei Chaim writes about a chessed dinner put on through the school (which is is generally pleased with) in which the young teenage girls enjoy a banquet a bid on prizes including things like a manicure, shopping trip to Woodbury Commons, or Shabbos in New Square which starts at $100 per person (take from the comments). Such an event brought him to the passuk "love kindness and walk modestly with your G-d" as being not two values, but a relationship of values. The way of chessed is through modesty (and by that the Navi isn't speaking of clothing measurements alone).

Every once in a while a Orthodox leader or Rabbi decries America materialism, mostly in relationship to the tuition crisis (subject of an upcoming post), yet few seem to blink an eye when schools put on this type of event or go on day trips that many families wouldn't even consider going on themselves. The idea of putting teenagers into a group setting to bid for prizes, prizes that introduce greater luxuries or require more cash outlay, are particularly distasteful to me.

Perhaps adults "need" carrots to guide their giving and make it "palatable" or to attract more attention in the marketplace, but do we need this for children? If we really want to tackle rampant materialism and entitlement (and such come up as regular subjects), the place to start is with some basic sensible chinuch. My 13 year old has no business taking her ma'aser money and bidding on a manicure in order to make a simple donation. . . . and for that matter, I don't need to so either!

A commentator b writes "In December of '05, the BMG Ladies Auxiliary sent out a Chinese Auction booklet that offered prizes that were, by Lakewood standards, extravagant. Rabbi Kotler soon retracted the booklet and issued an apology. Chaim, you have the sensibilities of a Lakewood Yeshiva person. For the rest of us, the reality is that this is a good and efficient way to raise money."

Well, label me a "Lakewood Yeshiva person" if you may, but one need not live in Lakewood or even have a yeshiva education to say, "what in the world is going on here?". I'd label the questioning/opposition as just plain sensible! And I think that "we" are making a major mistake in chinuch with the notion that there need to be a prize for everything.

(On a related note, Jewish schools have a very broad socio-economic spectrum and relatively small numbers of students. I think it important to keep that in mind when planning school related events. A mother-daughter tea at $36+ babysitting if necessary, ski trips, graduation trips, etc all add up and parents of teenagers tell me they can spend upwards of $1000 on the extras in a year.)

Of course, a yashar koach to Chaim B's daughter who was able to ask questions when seeing the event.

Lakewood Scoop: You Should Be Ashamed of Yourself

Hat Tip: A reader who writes "now I've seen it all".

The Lakewood Scoop, who only 4 short months ago was alerting readers that a MLM that many frum people had placed their money and energy into had gone bankrupt leaving others holding the bag and causing a bit of commotion (TLS Link) has just put up an advertisement fronting as a news story for some type of budding scam promising the kollel man and others the starts. It is brought to you by a Yaakov (Jack) Rottenberg via the Lakewood Scoop. Here is the text (abbreviated):

[Advertorial] Question: Are you sitting in Kollel wondering how you are going to be paying your monthly bills? Are you working 9 to 5 without covering your monthly bills, or do you cover your monthly bills but do not to have any accumulated savings? Are you tired of having to work month after month only to have to pay the same bills and do the same work over and over? Is the economy putting you under stress?

Well here is the answer for you,

Hi, my name is Yaakov Rottenberg, and I’ve been in this exact situation before and B’H by joining this business my situation has changed completely. This has been very successful for me and all my associates.

I’m talking about a billion dollar company available in other states that has just opened in New Jersey giving anyone with a vision the opportunity to earn UNLIMITED income based on what they put into it.

“You see, when you work you get paid for the work you produce but, you need to keep on producing the work to get paid”.

Imagine if you can work once diligently and then off that make residual month to month income for the rest of your life.

NOT POSSIBLE??

INCORRECT!!

With this opportunity you can do exactly all this and hopefully achieve FINANCIAL FREEDOM.

I’m not only talking about being able to get all the extras in life (although that’s also nice), we are talking about simply having an income that will pay your monthly bills month after month after month for the rest of your life.

The company was founded in 2006 & has quickly risen to one of the fastest growing companies in the US and one of the top fortune 500 companies.

This is the perfect business for anyone, whether you already have a business going, or whether you are sitting in kollel, whether you are old, young, single or married.

In this business you can work on your own schedule, with your own hours, at your own convenience and at your own pace.

Here are some quotes from other associates of mine. . . . . . . .

Lakewood Scoop, where is your yashrut or is (your) money all that matters? The man doesn't even NAME his company, but promises lifetime income served up on a silver platter. Be prepared to al chet for placing a stumbling block before the blind. Surely you can recognize the scam pattern!?! You were only just alerting the public to a scam 4 months ago and now you are hosting a shameless plug for an unnamed company? The klal's money, time, and energy is not hefker. You and I know full well that those who believe don't have what to risk (and these "opportunities" require "investment").

You should take this advertisement down immediately! This is shameful and desperate. Time to get back to the Torah basics and time to care about other people's money (or lack thereof).

A few signs an "opportunity" will leave you holding the bag:

*You must to pay to play.

*To get $paid$ you need to bring people into the business. (Stable, successful businesses do not seek to grow indiscriminately and indefinitely, they target markets, create niches, have HR departments that select who they want representing their company and product).

*Code words: "Financial Freedom" "Opportunity" "Change you life" "Unlimited" (markets are always limited), , "perfect business for anyone" (in real marketplace companies don't want just "anyone" representing their business), "work your own schedule", "dreams" $$$

*The defenders are like men on a mission (you sense that religious vibe).

Here is the comment I left at TLS (not sure if it will get published):

How low can you go to post an advertisement for a company whose name is not even published only 4 months after you alerted your readership to The Harvest America bankruptcy? That "opportunity" like this "opportunity" share the same patterns and the same religious zealousness on the part of the defenders. The world is promised and little can be delivered because the model simply doesn't work. Stable, successful businesses to not seek to expand indiscriminately and indefinitely. They are not "perfect for anyone." They have officers, managers, owners who spend tremendous resources ensuring their company is staffed efficiently, not staffed by just anyone. They know markets are limited and they seek to target markets and create niche markets. These companies don't want everyone and anyone selling the same product. Quite the opposite in fact.

This is a stumbling block in front of the blind. In the spirit of Rosh Hashana (guarantees on parnassa!? I think not!), it would behoove you to remove this ad.

A Tribute? "I Wondered Whether This Was the End of His Generosity to Me"

Jewish Worker comments on a Hamodia story on the passing of a tzadik and a troubling aspect highlighted therein, the departure from what is written so clearly in birchat hamazon: please do not make us dependent upon the gifts or loans of flesh and blood.

Yet here the story of a generous tzadik who provided money for those who could not afford tefillin for a Bar Mitzvah is retold by his chavruta as follows:

"When Reb Shlomo oldest son was approaching Bar Mitzva Reb Shlomo had no money to buy him tefillin. A few months before the Bar Mitzva Reb Nosson gave him an envelope full of cash, enough to buy the best teffilin.

The next year was his second son's bar mitzva and again he had no money for tefilin. "I had no idea whether Reb Nosson's generosity would repeat itself this time around and with little alternative I waited to see what would happen. And in fact a few months before the bar mitzva the same scenario reoccurred. The story repeated itself four more times."

When my fifth son's bar mitzva was approaching Reb Nosson had already taken ill and hardly came to Yeshiva. I wondered whether this was the end of his generosity to me. After all out of sight means out of mind, didn't it?

Well it didn't. . . "

There is something particularly off putting not just of the expectation to receive tzedakah, but of focusing on whether or not the tzedakah would repeat itself while a man lays on his death bed.

Sometimes I wonder how some things get across the editor's desk. This hardly seems a tribute to the man who has passed on. And the person telling his story. . . . well, would you want to tell this story about yourself?

Parsonage for Women: A Money Saving Idea

Hat Tip: a reader

Avi Chai Foundation, based on an essay by Rabbi Michael Broyde, is making the case for female day school/Bais Yaakov teachers to qualify for parsonage.

Parsonage allows a religious institution to pay a "minister" a housing allowance (in short, an amount not to exceed the lower of actual cost or fair market value of a furnished home + utilities + repairs). The institution benefits as parsonage is not subject to the employer payroll tax.

The employee benefits as the parsonage is not subject to Federal Tax. (It does however count as income for the purposes of the Earned Income Credit). The employee pays both halves of the social security tax on their earnings and parsonage. But, because those receiving parsonage are employees rather than a contractors, employers can offer other tax advantaged benefits.

Obviously the female Rabbinate in the Reform and Conservative movement qualify to take parsonage in full. [Updated: I believe that a yoetzet halacha would certainly qualify]. The case for parsonage for Orthodox female religious study staff is a harder case to make given that there are no formal programs for female religious leaders.

I think Rabbi Broyde makes an interesting argument, but not one I'm particularly comfortable with. His argument is as follows:

The Jewish legal tradition lacks almost any ecclesiastical function that can be performed by ordained rabbis only and recognizes that lay leadership can rise to the level of clergy in functionality, form, title and duties…. [I]in many yeshivas, some women serve in roles identical to those served by rabbis, e.g., supervising prayer, providing religious guidance, teaching sacred texts with religious fervor, conducting themselves as religious role models, and otherwise serving sacerdotal functions. These women are entitled to the parsonage allowance exclusion according to the laws of the United States”.

Certainly we aren't the only tradition for which lay leaders can perform any function. In fact, I believe that the Mormon Church has only lay leaders who have achieved various ascending rank who serve as lay leaders and preside over religious life in addition to regular employment.

Also, it is hard to have a leg to stand upon regarding women having a leadership function when the Orthodox world has been fighting such within its own daled amot. There is, shall we say, little precedent.

According to the Avi Chai blog post, there are already Modern Orthodox and Chareidi schools claiming parsonage for women. I don't believe that this is done where I am and I don't know any CPA that would recommend as such.

So, feel free to comment here or there. I don't think this is a shoe-in, especially as parsonage is generally reserved for those who are ministers inside of churches (or Rabbis inside of synagogues). I know of no other religious group, save the Amish, that has their own schooling system. I think there is a fine line between taking full advantage of the tax law and acting rashly. But, there is no question that there are savings to be recognized.

Some after notes and thoughts:

**I certainly believe that functioning yoetzet halacha would qualify for parsonage.

**It would be interesting if those who work in the schools could give the readership an idea of what percentage of women limudei kodesh teachers have husbands who do NOT have a parsonage through their own Rabbinic post or teaching post. I don't want to venture a guess, but at least as you move right on the spectrum, it is my observation that kli kodesh come in pairs.

**Worthwhile reading (hat tip: Tax Prof blog). Cordozo Law and Gender Journal, ORTHODOX JEWISH WOMEN AND ELIGIBILITY FOR THE PARSONAGE EXEMPTION, Jacob Lewin analyzes Rabbi Broyde's view which he views as overstepping and perhaps even abusive. Excellent read.

Some tests:

1. Does the person administer sacerdotal functions customarily

administered only by clergy? 2. Does the person conduct worship

services? 3. Does the person perform services in the control, conduct, and

maintenance of a religious organization? 4. Is the person considered a

spiritual leader by his or her religious body? 5. Does the person have a

formal license, commission or ordination?

PSA: Nassau County LinkedIn Workshop

My Long Island readers might be interested in a LinkedIn Workshop at the West Hempstead Public Library.

Monday, September 19th at 7:00 PM. Information follows:

For your readers in Nassau County:

Please join me for my LinkedIn Workshop at the West Hempstead Public Library- Monday September 19th at 7 PM! http://bit.ly/LinkedIn_WHPL

You can see an outline of the LinkedIn Workshop here: http://bit.ly/Networking_Workshops and a Webcast of my presentation at the OU here: http://bit.ly/LinkedIn_Webcast

"We Expect"

Thank you to the readers who are sending me tuition links like the subject is going out of style. Not to worry, I will continue with some of the bread and butter with my blog, I've just been busy.

First up on the tuition circuit is this editorial from the new President of the Orthodox Union, Mr. Savitsky: Do We Have an Economic Model that Works?

I'm just left speechless by this near promise on the issue of affordability private Jewish education:

One of the solutions we expect is that the funding of secular education in yeshivos will be paid for by the city, state, or federal government. The money must follow the student, and every student by law has the right to a secular education.

While I appreciate the efforts to secure funding for private school students (despite my own ambivalent stance re: government funding and private education ), I am just aghast the only thinking being presented is:

1. Secure government funding (hasn't happened yet and little positive indication that it will happen)

and

2. Relocate people to promising communities.

The four criteria per the article are:

-First, a community must possess the basic infrastructure: shuls, mikvahs, a yeshiva environment, access to kosher shopping, an eruv, and kosher restaurants.

- Second, it must have serious opportunities for employment at all levels. Without jobs, we will not be successful in encouraging people to move.

- Third, it must be a warm, caring and cohesive community that offers financial incentives for people to move; it must have affordable housing and education; and the community has to be willing to engage in outreach as unaffiliated Jews become attracted to their synagogues.

- Fourth, there has to be stability in rabbinic, educational, and lay leadership. Why invest in a community if its rabbinic leadership changes every few years?

I've probably played out the commentary on the former. Do readers see positive signals that private school students of the average Orthodox demographic in any state are soon to see funding? The statement is rather bold and unbelievable without any evidence of legislative change.

Regarding the latter, I am very curious which communities have been identified on the list of 10 and I'm looking forward to seeing the short list rolled out. I do believe that young people would be well served exploring less pricey communities and building a life in those communities. There are a few incentive programs of recent memory, one featured on VIN in a smaller Long Island community. Since no incentive packages have a long term track record, building an incentive program is certainly experimental. I'd like to hear more about what the accomplishments and pitfalls have been.

Guest Post: The Smart Reader's Kids

In honor of Back to School I present an informative guest post for parents of budding readers from The Smart Reader Blog. Much thanks on your guidance and contribution to my blog! Check out The Smart Reader Blog please (see sidebar for the link also).

I often get requests for book recommendations for children; nowadays it's so difficult to find books for kids that have literary merit. Another issue is the fact that one doesn't want one's children picking up, say, bad language from the books he/she is reading. It's also hard to pinpoint which books reflect the values one is trying to inculcate in one's family.

Although this may sound like a pain in the neck, I pre-read nearly every book my children take out from the library. This isn't really as hard as it sounds, because I spent most of my childhood reading every book in existence; it only remains for me to read the newer ones. Also, I read faster than the average person (practice makes perfect! Read Malcolm Gladwell's if you don't believe me.

In this post, I offer a short list of recommended reading for emerging readers and onward. If you are looking for good books in a particular genre for your child, you can request those in the comments and I'll do another post later this month.

Emerging readers: These are the children who are just beginning to read on their own and are moving beyond read-aloud; there is usually a special section in the library for these readers. Unfortunately, each publisher has its own leveling system, so it takes some time to figure out what is what, but you can't go wrong with:

• Dr. Seuss; Cat in the Hat and Green Eggs and Ham are perfect for young independent readers.
• Arnold Lobel's Frog and Toad
• David Adler's Young Cam Jansen, and when they are ready they can move on to the regular Cam Jansen series.
• I was very fond of Amelia Bedelia when I was very young; I've noticed, however, that today's children often don't grasp the double meanings of the words the way we used to. A lot of those words are not in common use today, and it just doesn't seem as funny. Take them out anyway; it's worth a little bit of explanation.

Intermediate readers: These are children who read well on their own, and can deal with real chapter books that have lots of words. The subject matter is usually straightforward and the plot is generally uncomplicated. Vocabulary is on or slightly above level.

• I don't really like series books, but this one is actually not bad (although it's a tad commercial for my taste). The American Girl books, with each series focusing on a child growing up during a particular era in American history, are nicely done, well-written, and comfortingly predictable. The values are quite nice, and each book features an appendix that tells the reader more about the period in history. If you can restrain yourself from purchasing any of the merchandise, you should be fine. The authors vary. These are usually most suitable for ages 7-10.
• A good author for children ages 8-11 is Eleanor Estes; her Moffat family series is charming and funny. Other good authors for these ages are Elizabeth Enright, whose '50's era books are all now being reprinted, and Edward Eager. Eager is an E.Nesbit wannabe, and for those of you who have never heard of Nesbit, she was an English children's author who was very well known and is still widely read. I would recommend her books to older children, though, because the language is quite British, if you get my meaning.
• Laura Ingalls Wilder's books are a good place to start for a girl who is ready for a book that is a bit longer. The series officially begins with Little House in the Big Woods, and moves onward. The last two might not be appropriate to children younger than 11 or 12; the last book is actually a bit tragic.
• Andrew Clements skyrocketed to fame with his bestseller, Frindle, and seems to have been consistently churning out entertaining novels since then. I particularly enjoyed A Week in the Woods, as well as Room One. Parents should be aware, however, that Clements also published several Young Adult books that are not targeted to this age level.
• One thing (out of many) that is appealing about her books is how they are so suited both to boys and girls. Ramona is a character girls love and boys find hilarious. Ralph S. Mouse has universal appeal.
• Noel Streatfeild was a great favorite of mine growing up. Her "Shoe" books (Ballet Shoes, Dancing Shoes, Theater Shoes) are endearing and beautifully written.

Older and advanced readers: Children aged 11 and over are often looking for books with more complex plots, abstract themes, that don't unfold predictably. However, this age and level is difficult because much of the fiction marketed to this group depicts values and behaviors parents don't want their children immersed in. Here I offer a short list of some suitable reading material, but it is very important here to know what your child can handle, and what you do/do not want him/her exposed to.

• Zilpha Keatley Snyder: One of my favorite books, even now, is Snyder's Velvet Room. One of her several books set against the backdrop of the Great Depression, Snyder's story carries a lesson but does it so gently that the reader delights in learning it. I didn't love all her books, but she's definitely an author to acquaint yourself with.
• L.M. Montgomery was the creator of Anne of Green Gables and published oodles of similar books. There's no real middle ground with Montgomery -- either you love her or she sickens you.
• Newbery Medal books: Click on this link to get a full listing of all the Newbery winners I have read and reviewed.

If you post your requests in the comments section for this post, I will take up this thread in my next post as well. For example, if you have a child who likes fantasy, or mysteries, I would be happy to publish a separate post for that genre.

Be sure to check out my quasi-kid post on this page.

Dental Care is Important

Thank you Mr. Cohen for pointing out this news story that underscores that dental care is important and must be prioritized. For new blog readers or infrequent readers, dental care is something that many forgo to pay for other things (including tuition).

And only 24 years old. How sad.

Update: No this post is not about the health care debate. Yes, certainly he could have made different choices. Bottom line, dental care is health care and I've seen enough anecdotes/posts about forgoing dental care for tuition (not that I'm doing the math) and I don't think it is wise. Done. :)

Maximizing Resources: Full Time, Part Time, No Time?

Every once in a while the time comes to re-evaluate if we are maximizing our resources. With a lot of juggling and support from my family, I've managed to carve out a second income with little out of pocket expense, but plenty of expense to reduce what is actually taxable thanks to a home office, depreciable computer equipment I'd probably own anyways, and mileage for miles I'd probably drive anyways. Oh, and no child care costs (unless we count the $2 I paid my 10 year old neighbor to play mother's helper one Friday afternoon when I fell behind on Shabbat prep after billing out some 30 hours of work in a week).

Nonetheless, with a tuition bill dangling over head and a bill that will go up another 25% next year if we continue in the same direction, the nagging question 'could I be doing better' does rear it's head. And this morning, it reared its head. I have an ability to estimate such a scenario without a calculator, but this morning I pulled up a spreadsheet, did some research, and used my handy dandy software to figure out how much more we could be netting if I grossed a little over [x.5] times what I'm grossing now with a full time position in an office that would, sadly, be a bit of a drive from where we are thanks to traffic. I'm not quite sure I could gross that from the start, but I appreciate my husband's belief that I could get there pretty quickly. So I ran with it.

I set up a spreadsheet to compare the current scenario of self-employment and a small W-2 here or there to full time employment. I plugged in the new tax scenario. Then I subtracted out a minimal amount of cost we'd need in terms of childcare--I compared a [legal] nanny scenario with no other childcare for the older ones (rare in my neck of the woods) vs. combination day care scenario piecing together camps, after-care, and full time day care. Minimal means that we would still need to switch hit around here to fill in for teacher in-service days, etc.

Then I subtracted another $1200 in increased costs for the year which is low balling it to the max. But I figured that I've settled into some fairly good patterns that I wouldn't need to resort to pizza regularly. Nonetheless, a regular commute would eat up gas and I'd probably need to spend a little more on clothing. But, our utility cost would a bit less.

After all of this, I came to a nice bottom line figure, added back a percent of the the costs I can take as business expenses that I'd absorb anyhow (e.g., a percentage of home insurance, water, electric, home repairs for the whole of the house), and I came to the downright depressing discovery that even surprised me after the serious low balling of increased expenses (notice, there is not a penny in here for cleaning help and I'd be putting in 50+ hours a week pre-Pesach).

My scenario is mine alone and I'm glad I took the time to plug in my numbers because I appreciate clarity more than anything. After comparing working part time for me vs. working full time for someone else, you might be curious what the bottom line is. While I won't lay out my personal scenario, I will give you the bottom line current benefit of working full time vs. continuing piece together an income the way I've been blessed to piece one together:

$1328.70

A few dinners out and a few times with a cleaning crew and poof, gone!

My husband is in disbelief, despite reviewing my figures and spreadsheet. I'm just downright frustrated because even when I eliminate the full time day care, there isn't a single middle school tuition left.

We are a bit shell shocked over here, so excuse the lack of conclusion. But please do share how you weight one working scenario vs. another. Thanks.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: The potential of 401k match would be there in a salaried position. But I've found match is no longer what it is. That would push things a bit higher up. But, if I set up a SEP plan, I could nearly offset the difference in benefit anyways. The real financial advantage of working full time for me has a rather large time frame. But, there are so many family demands that it takes a skilled tightrope walker and a crystal ball to weight it all.

Sheital Leasing: A Good Deal or Not?

Hat Tip: VIN News

I'd like to hear from my readers who are regular, higher end, sheital wearers (and their husbands), as opposed to more casual wearers, what they think of the economics of sheital leasing. Is $75 a month (service included) a good deal, or a fleece?

The Ynet article quotes a marketing manager to who compares sheital leasing to car leases. I think my readers are well aware of my opinion that leasing a car is a very, very expensive way to get from point A to point B and is far from a thrifty way to operate a vehicle. Hence, a gut reaction that this too is a fleece. However, while I'm sure I will never be renting a sheital, it might not be a rotten deal at all.

In my, not-so-educated opinion, higher end sheital wearing doesn't compare well to operating a vehicle at all as the alternatives to are far more limited (no, I'm not addressing hats vs. sheitals) and the usable life of the product is much shorter. The bar mitzvah age vehicle sitting outside my house, with as many issues as your average teenager, still serves its main purpose in it's own awkward way. But, I can tell you this, I wouldn't wear it on my head if I woke up tomorrow to find the car had become a sheital. Ventilation is a must, and dents throughout would render the thing unwearable.

A car that has been driven into the ground still has a value, if only at the junk yard for scrap metal. A car that is quite functional can be sold to a wide array of potential, flexible buyers for some real cash. A sheital that has been driven into the group, so to speak, is completely and utterly worthless. A sheital that is perfectly functional has very few potential buyers, and even fewer with the needed flexibility. I've seen people try to sell their twice worn customs for 80% of what they paid. I don't think there are too many takers.

Where sheital wearing does compare better to vehicles is in the realm of maintenance. I believe higher-end sheital wearers do pay for monthly wash and sets, which can run between $20 and $30 a month, making the $75 a month price closer to $60 a month. And, well, with the option to replace the wig once a year. . . . perhaps there is a value?

So regular sheital wearers (i.e. those who wear nearly daily), is sheital leasing at $75 a month a good deal or not when you average out the cost of your wig(s) and their maintenance over their useful life less any resale value?