New Bloggers on the Block with Orthonomic Posts

Relatively new blogger "Independent Frum Thinker" has posted a number of insightful posts. The last post was about Priorities in Tzedakah, a topic I've blogged about numerous times. He makes the point that glitz sells when it comes to enticing donors to donate and I think we are all paying for our "base material instincts" and the Marriotts, Hiltons, and Four Seasons of the world come out the only clear winners (!).

In an ideal world, everyone would just donate to the causes that are most important, they would keep much of their money local building their own institutions, and nearly every dollar would go to benefit those causes. In our less than ideal world, banquets must be held and we are lucky if one of every two dollars benefit the cause. But lately it seems that the stakes have been raised and more and more materialism has been introduced to fundraising.

We are kicking ourselves in the foot with the high overhead involved in fundraising. And some of these fundraisers are NOT raising significant funds, but they are taking away from the limited pot of money that is out there. I even know of a banquet that lost money (!). The community may have raised a huge sum of money, but they spend every penny and more on overhead. And, once people have opened their wallets that money is gone forever. What a shame that not one penny went to benefit this school.

There is a fairly limited pot of tzedakah dollars in this world and when we spend so much of those dollars by paying caterers, hotels, musicians, and more, we are only hurting ourselves. Some people argue that "all of the goods [used to appeal to our materialistic instincts] are donated." I would respond that it would be better if we could just prioritize our dollars and be wise together about the finances of our community. We desperately need to reorient ourselves and our communities. And, I'm glad to see the j-blogs talking about the subject since I'm not hearing much about it other places.

There are so many needy causes and it is a shame that it takes a China Cabinet of silver to get us excited about those causes. While I consider myself more pragmatic than idealistic, I wish to be an idealist on this topic. Anything less is just kicking ourselves in the foot.

Another new blogger is "Jacob Da Jew" who just posted a piece on tuition entitled "Our Children's Education: A Robin Hood Affair." He talks about the difficulty for the middle class in tuition and predicts that things are going to get worse. I posted this comment on his blog:

My estimation is like yours: the middle class is really suffering. They make too much for tuition breaks, but not enough to really meet the expenses of tuition. I've posted some heartwrenching stories from guest posters and it is truly sad that people with respectable salaries are sinking into debt and are oftentimes paychecks away from insolvency.

I also have to sadly agree with your that it is going to get worse. There are so many young people in tremendous amounts of debt from college and grad school. Jewish parents are generous and in most of the cases I believe the parents were out of funds to keep helping their children along. Yet these young couples are stuck with payments on loans that are nearly the size of a small mortgage in an inexpensive community (5 years ago, that is). On top of this, they need to secure housing and be ready to pay tuition and each tuition is the size of another small mortgage payment.

Many times the schools tell you to ask your parents for help. I can't speak for others, but my in-laws just finished paying off the 2nd mortgage that they put on their home to pay for high school tuitions for their children. Now they have three times as many grandchildren as they had children (baruch Hashem) and have their own escalating expenses of old(er) age. In short, I think that this route has been exhausted and if the older generation is expected to pick up the difference for the younger generation, the scale will eventually tilt back and the younger generation will *need* to take care of their parents. So, all in all, this "minhag hamakom" of some communities is limited too."

A Blog Roundup: Tuesday, October 24, 2006

It has been a while since I've run a blog roundup and I've missed linking to plenty of interesting conversations. But I just wanted to point everyone to some posts I find interesting. If I left you out, just put a link in the comments section and I will try to add a link.

Shidduchim:
Ariella of Kallah Magazine has questions and is looking for input regarding shidduchim. Check out her questions and add your thoughts.

A cross between a financial post and a shidduch post is Harry Maryles' post "Looking for Mr. Torah." I don't know much about the seminary circuit or curriculums offered. I do know that many young ladies return from Eretz Yisrael with a very rigid expectations of their future husband. And, this certainly makes arranging shidduchim difficult, to say the least. Harry estimates the cost of the year in Israel at a minimum of $14,000. I'd say that if parents agree to fund the life of a young kollel couple and all that the future entails, the cost increases exponentially.

Financial:
Ariella asks, what is the average cost of a frum wedding? I'd like to know the answer myself. She posts some averages on non-Jewish weddings and non-Jewish weddings in the NY/NJ/PA area and elsewhere.

A brief look through the websites sighted shows that these astronomical figures include some of the pre-wedding activities, like the "rehearsal dinner" which is absent in frum weddings. But, of course, we manage to find a way to spend a ton with the vort(s) or l'chaim(s). And, the figures seem to include wedding jewelry, including the engagement ring. But, the average amount for those costs is nowhere near what I believe the average frum couple spends on the ring alone, much less the myriad of "required" engagement gifts. And, of course, non-Jewish couples aren't buying custom sheitels or having sheva brachot. So, I imagine the average cost of a frum wedding is at least 150% of the average overall costs, if not more. What is your guess?

Evanston Jew makes an accurate observation that the economic issues of frum life are made worse because we are a "face-to-face" society, where everyone knows each other and standards are set. I've made the same argument. It is unique to live in a society where there is tremendous wealth and tremendous poverty side-by-side. (I'd argue that the discrepancy in incomes is found in very few tight knit communities outside of the frum community, if any). Evanston Jew also contemplates the minimum income needed to afford a frum life. He starts at a figure of $100,000. What do you think?

Ezzie critiques my last budgeting post and adds some very important points geared toward young couples. Thanks Ezzie!

Chinuch:

My friend OutOfTown posts about a new program at her son's school to teach middos. I am generally skeptical about programs designed to teach middot, since I believe that they are best learned through "osmosis" and by creating appropriate environments, but more about that another time. (Note: Certainly hashkafic concepts can and should be taught through Torah sources.) But, this program looks really unique because it involves not only the Rebbes/Morahs, but the entire staff including the limudei chol staff. Hopefully it will be a success and hopefully OutofTown will give us regular updates on the program.

And speaking of chinuch (crossed with financials), MominIsrael tells us about how some pre-schools are marketing to pre-schoolers. The subject of marketing to pre-schools I believe is loaded with halachic and ethical issues. It reminded me of a post I made long ago about schools adding to the already large financial burden placed on parents by involving them in financial issues.

Looking forward to seeing your insightful comments on these links. My apologies if I left anyone out.

Financial Blog Roundup, June 16, 2006:

Hello readers, I have plenty of posts planned including one important one on pending legislation on protecting the children of private schools in New York. I'm not a New Yorker, but I imagine that many of my readers are and I will have the information up soon, as it is very important.

Well, in other news, Harry Maryles has been covering "Orthonomics" this week with great zeal and vigor. Since my postings have been few and far between, it is nice someone else is getting the work done! All I can say is Chazak u'Varuch. The subjects of the posts are:
*Extortion (a takeoff on my post on Coveting),
*Wedding Takanos: Living within One’s Means (where we take a different approach to a subject, but agree that social pressure is the underlying issue),
*Lavish Bar Mitzvahs.

JH of Jewish Community Professionals has a post up on the Ten Laws of Fundraising. Considering the fact that so many of us end up involved in community fundraising at one time or another, this is a good read for all, not just the professionals.

Gil Student covers a piece in the Prospect Park newsletter on the costs of running a school and Yeshiva Tuition. For those of you paying "only" $6000 in tuition don't realize just how lucky you are, although even $6000 can be a lot to cover without a doubt.

Ariella of Kallah Magazine is "Segula Central" this week and covered a lot of practices that people like myself like to ask, what source, if any allows for this practice? So, if you are interested in the proliferation of Segulot in Orthodox society, this is the blog to visit.

By the way, Ariella sent me a copy of the most recent Kallah Magazine since she used pieces of this post in her article. The magazine is quite nice and has a lot of different articles and Divrei Torah of interest. Goodluck to her in her publishing enterprise.

Shabbat Shalom to everyone, and more posts to come.

Blog Roundup: May 23, 2006

I have so many topics I plan to post on, and no concept of what order I want to post them in. So, in the meantime, I will just point my readers to some interesting discussions going on in the j-blogsphere. (Note: I do not agree with all conclusions or the comments, but think these are good reads).

And, very soon, I will put up a post on a new subject.

Sexual Abuse:

Gil Student has added a post called "Protecting Our Children, Protecting Our Teachers." The title is extremely similar to the title of my last post, "Protecting Our Children, Protecting Ourselves," and we share a similar approach that our discussion should revolve around protection, not the most recent case in the limelight. However, I had some discomfort with some of the underlying assumptions and premises of Gil's post, and it seems that Steven I. Weiss has addressed some of those concerns, mainly the assumption that we can self-police, something that I think is near impossible for the frum community to do and something that both the Agudah and Torah U'Mesorah seem to oppose based on their opposition to certain legislation. SerandEz follows up with a critique of Canonist's post which too has valid points. Put these three posts together and it leaves a lot of important things to think about!

Jewish Student and RenReb takes a look at the fact that we all too often don't educate our children at all about sexual abuse, which, in my opinion, is a necessary piece of the puzzle.

Daas Heydot also has a great post on the subject.

OntheMainLine points out some comments from a principal of a school of 1400, Paul Shaviv, on the issue of the charismatic leader and which are extremely interesting and are related to the topic at hand.

Bullying

Orthomom has a post about bullying that is important. Like sexual abuse, bullying is a problem across all societies and it hurts a lot of children unnecessarily in its wake.

Tuition Issues

Orthomom has a post on a local school raising tuition-12%!- unexpectedly (after people have decided for the most part on the school for their children for the next year), and then giving discounts based on assumptions by the board, a complete haphazard process.

MOChassid points out that administrative staff costs and fiscal transparency are red herrings in the tuition discussion. The first post in the latter about combining resources and going after large donations is a must read. Note: I think that more transparency is needed, mostly to increase trust, as I don't think there is a whole lot of waste going on.

Jewish501c3 has a post entitled "Redundancy, not tuition, is conquering all." This post is really up my ally. It addresses the lack of cooperation and the lack of forward thinking that is all too prevalent when the topic of Yeshiva funding comes up. Check it out!

OutofTown has a list of her own tuition suggestions, and a discussion about sending tuition to collections in the comments section.

JH of JewishPros follows up that discussion with two posts of his own: No Child Left Behind is a response to OutofTown's post. Another post looks at Collections and Billings.

And, here is an interesting and developing discussion on BeyondBT that combines shidduch issues and financial realities. I believe this discussion is pertinent to all frum Jews, not just BT's.

I'll be back soon with some new posts.

Blog Roundup: May 3, 2006

Dr. Marvin Schick once again addresses an important issue, the Lack of Inter-Orthodox Cooperation, which is hurting us so dearly, in my opinion. I believe it hurts us spiritually and financially. Spriritually because we and our children potentially are only exposed to a limited view of opinions in Orthodoxy and cannot learn to appreciate the vastness of Torah, the diversity of acceptable thought, and the other people who show incredible commitment to Torah even when they don't come to the same conclusions as our very insular circle of friends. Financially it hurts us to as our school system that was built by Orthodox Jews of all stripes is being pulled apart by lack of cooperation so great that it is near impossible to imagine a Chareidi school pooling their resources with a Centrist or Modern school to buy toilet paper at a better price.

BeyondBT has an article from a Guest Contributor "Sam Smith" entitled "Financial Realities In the Frum World." Take a look, especially at the discussion. Without actions, blogs can do little to solve the problems, but one hopes that the ideas and discussions generated will be taken home and implemented at a grass roots level.

Orthomom's comments section here and here, features discussion regarding grandparents and tuition. Check out the discussion and it would be interested to hear more throughts regarding tuition, grandparents, and the sustainability of it all. Does anyone whose parents are helping now think they will be able to do the same for their grandchildren?

Ariella of the Kallah Magazine and Blog follows up on my wedding gift post with a question of ethics regarding registries. She also has some other nice posts on chinuch that can be found here, here, and here. Take a look. She has a great sight and I wish her much success with her endeavors.

And, last but not least, I missed linking to this very nice post on finding a middle path regarding Yom Ha'atzmaut that was very nice.

I look forward to continuing writing more topics soon. Thanks for your readership.

Blog Roundup: Some Worthwhile Reading

I am an avid reader of Dr. Marvin Schick's column's on Jewish education and other communal issues. His recent article "He Who Destroys a Single Jewish Life" takes a look at the at-risk phenomenon and some of the things that feed into it. This is a "must read" for all parents, educators, and community members.

Harry Maryles has a post inspired by Dr. Schick's article where he looks at Jewish education currently and Jewish education in the past. Jewish Education: Chinuch Al Taharas HaKodseh is a worthwhile read, and

Harry Maryles also wrote a post called The Crisis in Jewish Education: Show Me the Money. He serves on a tuition and scholarship committee and is very familiar with the struggle that parents are facing. He believes that the future looks bleak and has some ideas, but like all of us who are brainstorming, he has little to hang his hat on. This too is a worthwhile read.

Orthomom posted a letter from her children's school that reminds parents to include their children in the Pesach cleaning preparations. I personally think that it is sad that in today's busy society that we need to remind parents to include their children in the preparation for Pesach. But, I'm glad to see that the reminder was there since it is very, very necessary.

The letter mentions that helping is important in building self-esteem in children. I would say that on top of self-esteem, participating in running the home builds ownership, responsibility, and character. I'm sure that as soon as Pesach is over, there will be numerous letters to (various Rebbitzens) from Bubbes spanning the globe complaining that their (entitled) children treated their home as a hotel for the holidays and used them and other siblings for free babysitting, never pitching in a helping hand.

I'd take this letters advice seriously all year round, not just Pesach, and get your children to participate in the household and take ownership in it, rather than consider their, sometimes sub-par help, as a nuisance. You don't want your kids to view your house as a hotel, complete with maid service (yours or your cleaning lady's services). It may make things harder, but you will reap the benefits later.

Financial Blog RoundUp: March 22, 2006

With so many interesting financial and related subjects being discussed on blogs all over, it is easier to just point them out so that I can keep the growing list of planned posts I have flowing. So, once again, I am doing a "blog roundup."

I was remiss to not point out Marvin Schick's article entitled "Wealthy Charedim and Tuition Costs" in my last roundup. His articles on tuition are always a worthwhile read.

Marvin's son Joe Schick posted three times on the subject of tuition in March. Check out
More On Day School Expenses and Tuitions
A Guest Post, A Parent's Perspective On Yeshiva Tuitions
Joe's own views on Why Yeshivas Don't Receive Communal Support

Charlie Hall posts an old RCA release on Pesach Price Gouching and Excessive Chumrot. Quite appropriate as 'tis the season.

Jak Black reviews the Artscroll Bio of Rabbi Samson Raphel Hirsch . The last passage he brings down has to do with the appropriate age to start training a boy for a vocation (12 years old) if you see he is not headed to great heights in Torah. I'm a firm believer in focusing on the future. So, I liked the passage and am inspired to try to actually finish this biography which I have picked up and read the first 50 pages at least 5 times.

Jewboy's Musings touched upon a sad but real topic, the interplay between family size and tuitions. Readers comments definitely are making this an interesting read. Check out Pru Urvu?

And, last but not least, AlanLaz received some fiery comments (which gives a blog life) when he touched on the touchy topic of Meshulachim. Meanwhile, I am seeking a job as a Sunday driver for meshulachim. So, if anyone knows a collector who doesn't mind up riding around in a beat up old car (may this car live to 120) and is willing to pay a woman equal pay for equal work, shoot me an email.

Enjoy these blogs.

Orthonomics Blog Roundup
1st Week of March

So many bloggers have been posting on financial and related subjects. Since it is near impossible to write a post about all the interesting things there are to write about, I figured that in the spirit of SerandEz that I'd post a "roundup."

• The last discussion of kids at risk prompted a discussion about who should be learning in kollel, learning a train (vocational skills), and more. Jak Black was kind enough to translate a piece from a sefer by R. Ezriel Tauber that looks how it became accepted for women to be the breadwinners, kollel, woman in the workplace and more. The piece is jammed packed with many items to discuss. It is great to here the voice of a chacham in the discussion. Thanks Jak!
• Michelle of Humble Jewish Opinion takes a look at the rotten behavior that is unfortunately so prominent in Yeshiva schools. There is no question that the behavior issues need to be tackled if we are to attract and retain good teachers who are happy on the job.
• Jewboy has a post on the fact that Kollel has become an expectation called a "Need for Balance." He takes a look at the sense of entitlement that so many young people have grown up expecting.
• Opinions responds to Jewboy's post with a post of his own simply entitled "Kollel". The discussion following the post is most interesting and Opinions puts forward a unique idea to raise money for schools and local tzedakah causes. I'm looking forward to the discussion that develops there. I personally like the idea.
• Frumtalk, in an older post, wonders if College is Necessary for Parnasah and asks if the general trend seen in society that corellates education to earning power is also true in the frum world. Good question, I'd love to see a study. But, my guess is that outside of those who have really succeeded in the business world, the general trend holds true for frum society also.
• Lamed points us to an article in the YU Commentator entitled "CJF and OU Prepare to Combat 'Tuition Crisis." The commission is apparantely researching these ideas: Other components to the accepted initiative include reprioritizing distribution of charities, forming a community super fund for long-term funding for day schools [see Orthonomics here and here], and networking further with Jewish federations and organizations that can potentially assist in the tuition crisis. Additional considerations consist of organizing teams to help day schools establish better methods of short and long term financial management, structuring a hierarchal method of tuition payment where families pay based on what they can afford, and studying alternative modes of education like home-schooling to ascertain how varying techniques can be utilized in improving the day school situation.
• It is great to see these ideas being looked at by national organizations. They should have much hatzlacha.