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Friday, September 08, 2006

Disciplining Other People's Children III

This is my final installment on this subject (see posts I and II). It seems that the subject of disciplining other people's children is fairly universal, at least in America. I just wanted to point out a

This article in a Christian publication gives some guidelines that seem quite sound. She states that your authority to discipline depends on the location, and she is particularly strong about a parent's right/duty to discipline other people's children in their own home. The author states, "Your authority to discipline other people's children differs depending on where you are." She also states "You might feel uncomfortable playing the tough parent, but for the sake of your own children, you need to hold visiting children to the same standards of kindness, courtesy, and respect you have for them. It can be very confusing for your child to see a friend getting away with behaviors your child has been told are unacceptable." I could not agree more.

The author also states, "In public settings, low-key intervention that doesn't scream "discipline" can be best, especially if the other parent is present, but not stepping in." "When you're in public, think in terms of modeling positive behavior," says Simon. "That way, the intervening parent is not saying one child is right or wrong but is acting as a mediating influence." This too seems like a reasonable guideline.

The article is definitely a worthwhile read. And, based on her section about disciplining other people's children in the church setting. . . it seems that we shul goers share a great deal in common with our church going neighbors. I guess one could say that misery loves company.

2 comments:

Neil Harris said...

Kol HaKavod. Not for the actual posting, but for the link.

I've mentioned to friends and also on several blogs that we frum Jews are very quick to highjack any marketing/ donation/ fundraising techiniques from our non-Jewish neighbors, but when it comes to:
internet usage, at risk kids, substance abuse, and even outreach to young adults we think we know best. The article was interesting.

Once at a Starbucks, while on a lunch break, I found myself sitting one table away from a Pastor and his youth director. I was, at the time, an NCSY advisor in a congregagtion, and I asked them how they dealt with programming for kids during their services. The reply I got was that they make sure their group leaders show respect for the kids and that the congregational leadership (the Pastor and whoever he works with)encouraged there membership that groups were where kids should be.

SephardiLady said...

Certainly no reason not to look for good, sound ideas where they exist. I'm opposed to re-inventing the wheel.