Pesach and Shalom Bayit:
Maybe My Readers Have Some Solutions

In the previous post, a reader posting under the name "Pesach Stinks" writes of a scenario that I believe is rather common:

What do you do when your dear spouse insists on every chumra in thebook for Pesach? Only chalav yisrael cheese/milk since regular OU-Pisn't good enough on Pesach. Other food must be KAJ or CRC as a second choice. I almost die when we HAVE to buy brand X for $2.99 whennational brand Y with an OU-P is on sale for $1.49. Or the fact that we must buy Glicks Dishwashing soap for $1.69 instead of a brnad new bottle of Joy on sale for $.99 plus a coupon.HELP!!! I've been fighting this battle for fifteen years. Pesach is areally bad time for shalom bayis!

Another reader thought this question was worthy of a follow up wrote:

What if one person in the family is concerned about the budget but the other has gotten talked into keeping expensive chumras? (We resolved this when the other spouse finally got more realistic about expenses, otherwise would still be in that exact situation.)

Since I believe that Pesach can make shalom bayit issues rear their heads, I thought I'd put the question out to my own readers to share their own experiences and (hopefully successful) resolutions.

Ask Orthonomics: Reader Seeks More tips on Lowering Pesach Costs

Reader Seeks More Tips on Lowering Pesach Costs

A reader wrote me looking for tips on lowering Pesach costs. I made one such post on money saving tips back in 2006. In 2007 I added some additional tips, less related to actual food.

I think the reader is doing great. But, there are always ways to cut back even more where needed. So please add your best tips. The readers are eager!

Dear SL,
I know that you are extremely busy preparing for Pesach. But if you have a chance to blog on how you keep down the cost of Passover, I would love to hear it. During the rest of the year, my food bills are extremely reasonable. I use all the frugal tricks that I can, and it seems to work. My family of five (plus nursing baby) eats well on about $125 a week. But then Pesach comes, and everything seems to fall apart. Without legumes, rice, and pasta as an option, I can’t seem to keep the cost at a reasonable level. Even not buying crazy items like frozen Passover pizza or Passover pasta, my food bill is ridiculous. Am I missing some trick?
1. My mother-in-law buys us shemurah matza. That is not part of the budget. I buy 10 pounds of regular machine matza at $1.00 a pound. (Five pound box=$5.00) and two boxes of whole wheat matza for $3.00 each.
2. I bought a case of good, not-too-expensive kosher wine at the local liquor store. It was $6.00 a bottle. I figure we have at least six bottles left at the end of Pesach.
3. I bought NO red meat for Pesach. [Ground beef can actually be fairly frugal. Small fried meat patties on Pesach are part of the fare here and I find that ground beef stretches well in a meat pie or in small patties. It stretches well because it is filled with matza meal and (yes) more eggs].
4. I bought whole cut up chickens on sale at $1.99 a pound and fish on sale at $4.99 a pound. I spent $20 on chicken and about $55 on fish. [Good prices. A number of regular grocery stores also put Empire Turkey on sale for less than $2 a pound. Only problem is that you have to eat turkey day in and day out].
5. I bought cheese on sale at the local grocery store. I needed a lot for all the matza pizza, matza lasagna, and vegetable frittatas that I plan to make. Cream cheese, yogurts, orange juice, milk, and butter were also on sale so I bought that as well. [This is probably one area that is inflating the budget. Unless you keep chalav yisrael, you probably buy OUD yogurts year round. We like yogurt, but it definitely adds up in the budget even when you are only paying 50 cents or less a yogurt. Kosher L'Pesach yogurt is at least double the price. But, there aren't too many great replacements aside from making your own yogurt, and I have yet to get that right!]
6. Eggs were on sale at $0.89 a dozen so I bought four dozen.
7. I know that I will spend about $150.00 on produce: lettuce, spinach, potatoes (!), sweet potatoes, apples, melons for fruit salad, cucumbers, onions, garlic, peppers, berries, mushrooms, carrots, tomatoes, etc. [If you have a produce stand near you, try stopping in and seeing if they have less expensive produce. I regularly visit one produce store that marks down the older produce. I never know what I'm going to get and it isn't great for serving raw, but for roasting or sauteeing, it works, so long as I'm planning to use it up quickly. You can pretty much roast, steam, or sautee anything. And Pesach is a fairly quick holiday, so if you shop before you cook and once during chol hamoed, you might find a bit of extra savings].
8. I bought milk and orange juice on sale. Coke products were a loss leader at the grocery store so I bought 10 bottles of kosher-for-Passover soda. (I buy soda all year so that is not the problem.)
9. I shopped with my OU list so that I could buy regular olive oil, coffee, and sugar.
10. I still ended up spending $75 dollars on special kosher for Passover items that I couldn’t figure out how to do without: ketchup, tomato sauce, spices, soup mixes, matza ball mix (okay, this one I could make with plain matza meal), matza meal, chocolate, cake mixes, syrup for the matza brei, and apple sauce (okay, I guess I should make this.) [We all spend extra money on Pesach simply because we need to buy unopened products that we normally buy a little at a time throughout the year. You can feel your wallet shrinking when you have to buy a lot all at once. In addition, we end up paying a premium for some products like tomato sauce. If you really feel the need to cut back on this part of the expenses, the best recommendation I have at this moment is to think about how you can adjust your menus in order to cut back on some of the KLP items. Unfortunately, that is easier said than done because we all have things we like to eat and that our kids are willing to eat. I wouldn't kick yourself over the cost of applesauce. I'mnot sure making your own would be less expensive, although homemade applesauce is always incredible].

What do other people do to keep the cost down? Also, how do other people manage to incorporate flavor into their cooking without all of the available spices, oils, and condiments. [I too would love to here more from others about getting more flavor into the Pesach menu. I try to make salads with lemon juice and vegetables with garlic, but I miss the things I can't get/use].

More Wishful Thinking: CTETRF

The latest from New Jersey's Jewish Standard:

"I write to mobilize support for a Community Temporary Emergency Tuition Relief Fund. This emergency fund would exist only until such time that schools and the broader community are able to adequately create and support a structure that pushes us towards the quality and excellence we all desire, while also protecting a distressed and threatened Jewish middle class."

While institutions from shuls to social services to schools are wondering if they are going to be able to make their next mortgage payment or provide adequate food for a growing number of needy families come Pesach, I have no clue where such Emergency Funds that are in addition to current needs are going to come from. But don't get me wrong, I really wish I could believe.

My Own Comments On Rav Schachter's Tuition Shiur

Some Things I Liked:

1. Here, there, and everywhere sleepaway camp has been called a necessity. While I am sure that others have questioned whether or not camp is a luxury, I believe Rav Schacter is one of the few to go on record and call camp a luxury. He even mentioned how he spent different summers with different aunts and uncles. So not only did he defy "conventional wisdom," but he essentially gave a stamp of approval to alternative plans.

2. There are schools that ask on the scholarship application about the child's own earnings. Rav Schachter called this "unreasonable" saying " it will squash their incentive to make money." Too bad the question of how much to take from a second job/third job/wife's new job was not asked. I think the same (economic) concept can easily apply to adults.

3. He mentions that we need to mentor people on how to manage their money, i.e. teach skills. I couldn't agree more and, although I don't like "big brother" type intervention as a general rule, I sometimes wonder if a mandatory mentoring program for those who are applying for scholarships who seem to be headed into a deep hole should be required for the sake of the entire kehilla, not just the family themselves.

4. I appreciate the explanations of what constitutes ircha and priorities in giving, especially with the needs of other communities seem greater than our own.

5. The recognition that attrition is a possibility. I think for a long time the conventional wisdom was that people will find a way. (Do see last section for an additional comment on attrition).

Something That Needs More Explanation

Rav Schachter mentions numerous times that this generation of yeshiva/day school students is less committed than the previous generation. For the life of me, I can't understand why this is true (although I am trying). So many families have placed a second breadwinner into the marketplace, not to pay for any luxuries, but to eek out a little bit extra tuition after paying the marginal taxes and day care for younger children. There are grandparents helping pay for tuitions of numerous grandchildren, as their own children can't meet the full obligation. How many parents have racked up tremendous debt to pay for schooling?

In addition, I'm worried if nearly universal, across the board intensive Jewish Education is resulting in decreased commitment. That can't be good.

The Big Picture

Rav Schachter starts of his talk with a short analysis of how tuitions came to rise so rapidly (better paid staff, small classes, and larger families). He also mentions job layoff a small time later, imploring members of the kehilla to to help secure jobs for the unemployed.

I get the feeling that those in leadership do not quite understand the full extent of the financial crisis being faced by the Orthodox community (tuition being only one of a number of other issues) the same way that I am some readers (Mark comes to mind) are seeing the crisis. I get the feeling that leadership sees the problem as a combination of (1) not enough charitable donations being designated towards Day Schools combined with (2) too many household expenses, many of which are unnecessary (Rav Schachter singled out cell phones and IPods for kids, as well as lavish bar mitzvahs and weddings), that is being currently exacerbated by (3) the current wave of unemployment resulting from the current recession.

Note that I used the word exasperated in regards to the terrible job losses. Job loss is only one macro issue and the other macro issues that I believe are being completely overlooked, have been looming large for a long time. They include the following:

• The proliferation of credit which allowed families to continue propping up a lifestyle that was really outside of their reach. Despite the lack of availability of cash, families were able to pay for tuition and other luxuries via home equity lines, cash out refinances, and credit cards). Now these sources of "cash" are increasingly unavailable and families are finally having to realize their current needs in cash. . . . and they don't have enough.
• Numerous families not only tapped into their homes, but also have high levels of consumer debts, which continue to grow and for which the increasing interests payments are crowding out discretionary spending.
• Lack of savings. Saving early and saving often creates a passive and continually growing source of passive income. This income can fund future needs and even lessen the blow when things don't go quite right (job loss, decreased profits, layoffs).
• And speaking of lack of savings, I think there is a growing realization that perhaps savings is necessary to pay for future needs. (I predict it won't be long before Jewish publications are running stories about the "Retirement Savings Crisis").

Some Other Questions

If there really are no expenses to cut and increasing class size is not secheldik (I am unsure that the studies Rav Schachter refers to vis a vis class size are applicable in many frum schools as many classes that are being run are already smaller, sometimes significantly smaller, than the study samples), I would like to know what is acceptable? I'm personally afraid that unless something is declared "mutar" even as an experiment, that we will continue to collapse under the weight of our institutions. And I would note that if schools collapse that cutting salaries (I believe MTA did announce 15% salary cut for Rebbeim) won't be the least of our issues.

And lastly regarding the threat of attrition, does the Rav believe that public schooling is the only threat of attrition? I, for one, do not believe this to be the case.

Your comments and my apologies if anything is misconstrued as irreverent. I'm just trying to explain things as I see them. While I don't think the full situation is being understood, this is the first time I have been informed of numerous public venues regarding the financial crisis and I've been running this blog forum for a few years now and receive plenty of emails from all over.

Rav Hershel Schachter: Halachic Issues of the Tuition Crisis

I'm going to resist the temptation to make any actual comments on the shiur for the moment and just present my notes. My commentor Avi has his notes in the comments of a previous post. Thank you Avi! As Avi pointed out, the shiur was about Halachic implications, not how to solve the tuition crisis.

My notes without comment below:
Rav Schachter asks, why is there a crisis now, and we didn’t notice before?

He sites these reasons:
1. Melamdim paid better
2. Sizes of classes are much smaller, more teachers
3. Families are larger which means more tuition.

He believe that it is unreasonable to cut back on salaries (if you want better quality teachers, you need to reimburse them and talented young men will leave the field). Same goes for giving free tuition for even large number of children. He believes that this is part of the package to retain staff and that schools are competitive and if a school cuts this part of the package, a melamed can go to another school. He says that there is no sechel behind calling for larger classes and mentions that secular boards of education have finding that smaller classes are better educationally. He also mentions the importance of having more children, saying we haven't even replaced what we lost in WWII.

Rav Schachter believes that many parents currently in our schools are borderline committed and that we need to hold onto the students who are being scared away by tuitions as these students will be lost. He says that those who need a tuition break need to ask for one. Should not feel embarrassed. If you don't have the money, you don't have the money.

He mentions that a Rambam that obligates the father obligated to pay for education and if the father can't pay obligates the paternal grandfather. He notes that some schools in Lakewood write this on the bottom of the bill.

He asks should the wife be obligated to work to pay more tuition? He mentions that his wife always worked (they have 9 children!), but can appreciate a wife who wants to be a fulltime mother and says the tuition committee shouldn’t force wife to work.

He asks if children who work should be obligated to help pay their own tuition? No. He believes it will squash their incentive to make money and that is unreasonable.

What about vacations in Eretz Yisrael, pesach hotels, and expensive camps which hurt the parents ability to pay. He relates that he never went to camp (later he mentions he also went to public school) and that each summer was spent with a different aunt and uncle. He says if you can’t afford it, so you don’t spend, tuition comes first. [Compare the response to the Rav features in the Jewish Observer regarding tuition vs. camp].

What about cell phones, IPods, other narishkeit provided to children. Cut out these expenses and ask parents to pay.

What if the grandparents are paying for a Pesach Vacation, e.g.? Parents should refuse. Tell parents to give money as a donation to the Yeshiva.

Luxurious home? Not unreasonable to insist parents sell home and move to a smaller home. Why should Yeshiva be the first to loose?

Mentions a need for mentoring as many parents don’t know how to manage assets. He states we need to show people how to spend money properly. [OK, one comment. You have come to the right place :)].

The next part of the talk is about priorities in giving. The essence is that ayni ircha in your own city takes precedence and the precedence there is those to which you have a shaychus to, i.e. your own shuls, your own mikva, your own schools, your own poor.

He mentions that while the needs to aynaiim in Eretz Yisrael might be greater, e.g. need for shoes versus need for food, that when it comes to the Jewish schooling situation there is a danger parents might start pulling kids out and our needs are great and we need to take care of those who are close. Mentions that three-quarters of giving should remain local.

What about a Yeshiva that attracts students from outside your city, do you give scholarships to students outside? Here the important question is whether or not the outside students are forming a critical mass. If the students need help, they are ircha. If not, see to it you are supporting the local students.

What happens if someone has a neder to support organizations afar, not realizing they need to support the local students? They can take release the neder as there are overriding needs.

What about grandparents? Obligation to support local institutions, even if grandchildren are going to other schools. Your city first.

What about special needs? He mentions that it is unreasonable to expect a parent to take on a whole job just to support just one child and mentioned a special needs program that just raised tuition 30%. He states that we can’t force these children into public schools or they will loose their shmiras hamitzva and that although this is a very small percent of population, support is obligatory on the whole community.

Regarding Ma’aser Kesafim he mentions that although tuition is not ma'aser up to the amount of educating your own child, that one need not worry too much about ma'aser kesafim as the generally accepted opinion is that maaser kesafim is a minhag tov. He also mentions that pelnty of long married people have never given ma'aser kesafim and that those without can give shlishit ha’shekel according to what he can afford, i.e. a smaller amount. He also mentioned that one with a "normal parnasah" who can part with ma’aser kesafim should while those who can’t, can’t.
Shul membership is tzedakah as you can daven without membership, yes. Mikvah is a service fee and is not.

Are all needs of yeshiva are considered tzedakah? Yes, all the functions are important to help Yeshiva compete.

Should Yeshivas give a breakdown of expenses? He thinks it would calm parents down if this information was available and mentions there is little waste and that that spending is NOT why there is a tuition crisis.

What Rav Schachter believes the community needs to do:
Cut down on luxurious bar mitzvas and weddings. If you have money to "burn," make a smaller affair and give money to schools because they and choking.

Long term goal: Lower tuition. He state that the way to do this is to get more donations and that schools need to be run on donations and very minimal tuition. He states that assimilation and intermarriage can only be taken care of through more Jewish education.

From the Q and A session:
First question is something about charter schools. The Rabbi opposes public schools, but seems to leave the question of charter schools in the hands on a local Rabbinate.

Rabbi is asked why public school and an after school Torah program can't work? The Rav mentions he went to public school and was taught by his father. They lived too far from school and he couldn't go by trolley. He mentions that the generation was extremely committed and believes that today most people they will intermarry and totally assimilate. Goyim are much more welcoming today and the whole community will collapse.

Another person asks what is you have reached your limit (financially, I believe): Should you have more children and send others to public schools? He mentions that it is not right to keep having children if you can’t afford it and cracked a joke about idiots who make no living and have 17 children.

Another person asks what will become of yeshivot in Israel if 75% remains in town? The Rav replies that our own communities take precedence and says something about something about yeshivas in Israel with marble floors.

Another person asks what percent of the money that stays within the community, what percentage should go to schools and what to other needs? He says to ask this question of the local Rabbis who know the local situation.

Another person asks about schools that tell children their parents are not meetin the obligations? The Rabbi mentions his own children's schools did not do such and that parents should try to pay back when they can.

What about enacting takanot? The Rav mentions there have always been takanot throughout Jewish history and we should have some and that the chassidish still do make takanot.

The Rav is asked if schools should make physical expansions? He defers to local Rabbonomim to determine necessity.

When asked if Limudei Kodesh can be taught in the afternoon if it will save money, he says to do what works.

I believe the next questioner asked about whether or not parents with money put away should take a loss to pull money out for payment? He says a parent doesn't need to take a penalty and can pay later rather than take a penalty on a CD.

What about a communal tax? We are going to have no choice. We are going to have to lower tuition by relying on donations from wealthier Jews.

Those are my notes. Take the comments in any direction you want to. I'll come back to a few issues later, if time allows.

Not Mutually Exclusive

A reader kindly pointed out an article that appeared in Mishpacha magazine which looked primarily at the challenges of regular cleaning help (having a non-Jew as a member of a Jewish household, being a good employer, payroll legalities, when kids get too used to the amenity, and more). I guess the article was biased towards cleaning help, noting a famous Rebbitzen who talked about trading in fancier dinners for more tuna and cleaning help. For many, there is no such calculation.

In the sidebar, the author writes a little history of household help titled "How Maids Became the Rule, Not the Exception." The truth of the matter is, yes, cleaning help has become a very marketable service in the United States, as evidenced by the many cleaning agencies that one can locate in the yellow pages. But regular cleaning help is still the exception, not the rule across the USA. I wish I could find the footnote in a book I read about spending habits in the United States where it noted that homes employing cleaning help had doubled between the late 70's and late 90's. The percentage of middle income to upper income households employing regular cleaning help is still somewhere around 15%. Of course, if you live in the frum community, it would be easy to believe that cleaning help is the rule, rather than the exception, because within the frum community that is largely true.

The part of the article I wanted to concentrate on is this:

Every Jewish woman has to keep in mind her natural inclinations and her priorities. Most rabbanim will insist that a Jewish mother’s primary tafkid is not housecleaning,not even cooking, but the chinuch of her children. If our children are well-cared for and given the proper love and Torah guidance, then it doesn’t really matter whether the kitchen floor is washed by Mom, by Dad, or by an immigrant from Guatemala. Cleaning the house is a relatively low-skilled job that many different people could do, but Jewish motherhood requires a large measure of seichel and love that are not easily replaced.

Perhaps it is because I lack *paid* cleaning help, but I do not view chinuch and cooking/cleaning as separate realms in which if I am doing one, I can't be doing another. Granted, one's work schedule certainly plays into the equation. Not only do I believe that I can both parent and cook/clean at the same time while enhancing the chinuch my children receive, but I believe that engaging in some cooking and cleaning with them around and/or participate is part of being mechanech them. Perhaps the most important lessons they will learn are that of caring for belongings and that sometimes things just need to get done. (This, of course, is not to say one has to do all of the cooking/cleaning to be mechanech, just to point out that they need not be viewed as separate realms, one detracting from the other).

I have run into many children over the years (and a handful of adults too) that have no idea how to perform basic tasks. The author seemed to be dismissive of the skills involved in cleaning writing that "[cleaning is a] relatively low-skilled job that many different people could do" as she compares cleaning to Jewish parenting. But is cleaning really something "anyone" can do? Well, yes, with the proper training. Few parents would say the same of learning handwriting, i.e. anyone can do it. We recognize that the brain needs training in this area and we recognize that the fine motor skills necessary for writing need to be developed, preferably in the younger years. Same goes for cleaning. There are fine and gross motor skills that need developed, as well as certain brain functions. And, yes, not everyone has developed those skills adequately.

By no means do a mother, father, and children need to do all of their own cleaning at all times. However, chazal tells us that we need to ensure our children have the life skills they need. Basic cleaning and cooking should be part of the chinuch we provide our children, and we should not be dismissive thinking "anyone" can do it, because, well, I've seen plenty of grown adults who can't do it!*

*I'm reminded of a neighbor who called me on a Friday noon desperate to borrow my non-existent cleaning lady, as her cleaning lady was sick that day. I informed her that I didn't have a cleaning lady, but was more than happy to give her a hand (Note: her husband was a student and she only worked about 10 hours a week. They had no kids at this point). She wouldn't allow me to come up and lend a hand, but was rather amazed that I either knew how to clean and/or was willing to do the job, saying "you clean your own bathroom." Personally, I wish she would have accepted my help. I can't think of a much bigger chesed than helping an adult become more fully functional.

Presenting Another "Throw Money At It" Solution

Just in case your 20-23 year old 'girl' isn't getting her due attention from a shadchan, yet another "throw money at it" solution is being offered. The new proposal is that askanim pay shadchanim a fee of $50 for the shadchan to provide special attention and come up with 5-6 names of boys who Quite frankly meet her qualifications and who might consider taking her out on a date. If the girl actually approves of any of the shadchan's selections, she can cough up another $25 for the shidduch to be 'redd.' I'm not sure if that is $25 per shidduch redd, or $25 for a series of shidduchim to be redd.

Quite frankly, the shidduch system, which does have positives, is starting to look like a complete 3 ring circus. The girl's parents and the girl herself are being asked told they must provide support for the future groom. . . and now they are being convinced that they need to pay to even get someone to convince shadchan to get some boy to possibly consider going on a date with them. Have "we" lost our minds? Where is the dignity in a dating system like this?

Perhaps it is time to take the ball out of the girls' court and place it firmly in the court of the boys. I think there might be a great deal of sanity that can be reclaimed if we went back to the biblical imperative and let the boy seek out a wife.

Related Post: Desperation is Unbecoming

SHADCHANIM: AN EXTRA INCENTIVE
Dear Editor,
We would like to express our hakoras hatov to the Yated for all you have done for the klal regarding the parsha of shidduchim and for continuously allowing the Readers Write to serve as the main forum of options and ideas being considered to help alleviate the shidduch crisis.
We would like to inform anyone who might be interested of a new service we are offering for girls in shidduchim between the ages of 20-23 years old. For a fee of $50, we will pay a prominent Lakewood shadchan to work on one girl’s profile within two weeks and come up with 5-6 names this shadchan feels are most suitable for that girl (and most likely will lead to a date). We will also provide background information on each boy. If after researching these boys, the girl’s side is interested, we will guarantee that these names will be redd by that shadchan for an additional fee of $25.
The point of our service is to obligate and motivate the shadchan to put aside individual time to work for that girl. From past months’ experience with this service, the shadchan actually has spent around a half hour from his very busy schedule sifting through around 500 boys’ names and picking out the names he feels are the most “lechatchila” from the girl’s perspective (as well as most likely to receive a “yes” from the boys’ side).
This service is being initiated by askanim, not shadchanim. The shadchan has not requested any money. On the contrary, askanim are nudging him to take money in order to make him feel obligated to spend time and effort working on a particular girl. We know that some people might feel humiliated by paying a shadchan to work for them, but the reality is that the prominent shadchanim in Lakewood receive hundreds of phone calls each day and it’s not physically possible for them to accommodate everyone without an extra obligation. This service is simply a practical suggestion to help out some girls who are interested.
Our service has the endorsement of prominent rabbonim and roshei yeshiva. All parties interested should please contact us at shidduchim@yeshivanet.com..
N. L.
Lakewood, NJ

Two Talks: Guest Posters Still Needed

I would love guest posters for the following two events:
1. Teaneck: Congregation Bnei Yeshurun (Host: Torah Web)
Sunday, March 22, 2009, 8PM
Rav Mordechai Willig on "How Many Children and When?"
Rav Herschel Schachter on "Halachic Issues of the Tuition Crisis"

2. Baltimore: Congregation Shomrei Emunah (Host: Rabbinical Council of Baltimore)
Monday, March 23, 2009, 8:15PM
"Responding to the Economic Crisis: An Evening of Tefillah, Chizuk, and Practical Initiatives"
Special Address by Rav Frand

Guest Posters will be free to either give an overview of the talk(s) or focus on one particualar point or issue.

Doable or Another Pipe Dream?

New Jersey's JStandard is beating the tuition horse, just like I've been beating it for the past 3 years. This author (We Have Been Living Beyond Our Means) thinks there is possibly hundred of millions out there to endow Jewish Education with, if we could just stop funding everything else and stop living beyond our means.

My understanding is that many in the Northern New Jersey region have lost their high paying jobs , already had tapped many "funding sources" such as home equity lines of credit, and are now facing an increase in what is an already brutal state tax. I'd add that money spent on yearly vacations and trips to Israel, smachot, and other luxuries won't have a techiyat hametim.

The author proposes "universally accessible Jewish education," funded primarily through an endowment and capped tuition. He estimates that Bergen County alone needs $2 billion. Anyone storing $2 billion, or even $1 billion under a mattress?

Pipe Dream or Doable? You tell me. I'm beyond skeptical.

Meanwhile, another author puts forward an argument as to why the day school/yeshiva is so important and why is cannot be replaced by a hybrid system, such as a charter school system. He is of the opinion that those who support the current system need to make their case heard. What he does not propose is anyway to keep the current system afloat, except that we need to "soldier through" with all our resolve, even if things get rougher.

Back to folding laundry for me. And if anyone needs a GREAT laugh during their day, check out Mom in Israel on Pesach cleaning. I'm still laughing.

Mind Blowing: A Charter School Was In the Works

In previous posts, we learned that Catholic Schools in financial trouble have been taking some unconventional routes to save themselves. One such route in inner city Catholic schools, which largely serve non-Catholics, is to convert the schools to charter schools. Such is the case in NYC and DC.

I was shocked to find this article in the Jewish Press. According to the article, the Yeshiva Elementary School in Miami Beach, a K-8 institution of 450 students was in deep financial trouble that the administration secured a heter to divide the school into two separate divisions. Behind on payroll and in significant debt, the administration wanted to spin the general studies division off into a charter school (which would be open to all students of all religious backgrounds).

The plan to divide the school was spoiled when the parents were informed of this plan and rallied prominent Rabbis to speak against the idea. The school does not want to go against "the gedolim." The parents also quickly raised over $100,000 to help the school remain solvent. But, anyone who has ever worked with a budget should realize that such a sum is likely a short term solution, rather than a long term solution. Of course the irony is that the parent body, who likely not completely blame free vis a vis the insolvency, were the ones to rally the opposition.

The general sentiment amongst both the Modern Orthodox and the Yeshiva Community is opposition to charter schools. At least for the Agudah (and you can see Rabbi Shafran's comments), the only 'solution' they support is vouchers, which is basically DOA.

The reporter draws this important conclusion:

Though the plan was shot down, the very fact that an institution like Yeshiva Elementary - a school on the right of the religious spectrum - would even consider such an option underscores the scope and urgency of the financial challenges facing the Orthodox world as it attempts to maintain its decades-old commitment to universal day school education. And it also reflects the growing willingness of some parents and school officials to consider more affordable alternatives.

I think the bottom line is that the years of plenty are drying up, the hurdles being currently faced by Jewish schools are large, and parents are impatient. Imagining money will magically materialize like manna in the dessert I think is a delusion. I can't say I'm gun-ho about charter school or dual language public school programs. But, I'm a realist and you can't opposed all alternatives to a comprehensive day school education when the bank is knocking on your door and you haven't made payroll in months. Insolvency, by definition, requires ACTION, not hopeful wishing. Agudah, what do you suggest besides vouchers? How many months behind on debt repayment and payroll should a school be before an alternative is worth pursuing (remember, an alternative need not be a permanent solution).

Your comments please. . . . .

It's Only As Expensive As You Make It

I believe it was none other than Rav Moshe Feinsten who warned a generation not to say "It is hard to be a Jew" saying such sentiments killed a generation. It might seem ironic that a blog dedicated to examining the economics behind the Orthodox Jew is hear to say that we need to be careful not to fall into the same trap and say, "It is too expensive to be a Jew."


Rabbi Shmuley Boteach recently made such a statement in his most recent column opining that being a frum Jew is both too expensive and too lonely (also see comments at VIN). Too lonely refers to his comments on the so called shidduch crisis and too expensive refers to the following named culprits:

• Day school/Yeshiva Education, "the killer"
• Cost of Kosher Food, including restaurants
• Cost of Jewish Festivals
• Cost of Jewish Ritual Article
• Cost of Smachot
• Cost of Housing in Jewish neighborhoods
• Cost of Shul Membership
  

He proposes the following solutions vis a vis the financial issues:

• School voucher should be the #2 political issue for the Klal, after political support for Israel.
• Marketing Kosher as mainstream to take advantage of economies of scale.
• Communal norms for smachot to bring down the level of competitiveness.
• Moratorium on capital projects

If Rabbi Boteach was the only person saying being Torah observant is simply too expensive, I'd ignore it. But, he is not alone in singing this refrain and I feel the need rebut with the following:

Rabbi Boteach, please get a hold of yourself and repeat after me: I have choices and I can choose to make living an Torah observant life significantly less expensive by
exercising free choice and free thought. A little free thought would go a long way in alleviating some of the shidduch issues too.

I'll ignore tuition during this post, although I do believe tuition is the single issue that we as a community need to take by the horns (and, no vouchers are not going to materialize in our hour of need. . . . which is NOW). We've beaten this horse, and will continue to beat this horse to death on this blog. In the meantime. . .

Let's look at Kosher food. If you base your diet around the proteins, kosher can easily cost a fortune. But, if you base your diet around grains, legumes, and produce, adding the proteins as enhancements, it will not cost that much more more than a non-kosher diet. And, I'm not going to claim that seeing uncertified cheese on sale at around half the price, e.g., doesn't get me a little hot on the collar. It does. But, as kosher consumers we can make choices. We can choose to eat different foods. We can choose to make more by scratch. We can learn to be a smarter shopper. We don't have to go out for pizza regularly. (Note to some of the Yated letter writers: the cost of pizza is where it is because people are willing to pay the price being charged. . . . . can someone please incorporate a basic microeconomics course into the high school curriculum in our Yeshivot and Bais Yaakov classes?) And, dare I say this a month before Pesach, but perhaps not every strictness is appropriate for everyone? I do know of a family that experienced a lay off and well paying employment was replaced with low paying work. They did speak with their Rabbi and ended up dropping many a strictness. It was hard for them, but getting their food budget where it needed to be allowed them to stay afloat.

Like Rabbi Boteach, I do believe that our communal organizations can help to promote kashrut as the rule rather than the exception. Truth be told, a great deal of progress has been made in the past 15 years. Today we have so many national products with certification (E.g., remember when Oreos were treif gamur?) Store brand products increasingly boast certification. Long gone are the days when Hunt's tomato sauce was the only choice. More work could be done in this area. It would be nice to see more vegan restaurants and bakeries go under the certification of the main city Va'adim. It would be incredible if a major brand of cheese (one that hits the weekly circular) would 'go kosher.' And perhaps we need to express our desires more strongly to local va'adim and national kashrut organizations. But, in the meantime, we need to remember that we hold the purse string and we can make choices.

Let's talk about the holidays. This family spend over $250 on a Purim seudah for 12 people (7 adults and 5 kids), **not** including wine or liquor. One poster thought $25 per person seemed about right. Another agreed. Perhaps we just don't eat that much. But my guess is that their seudah doesn't quite look like our seudah which cost significantly less. Festive meals can be brought down in price. It can be done. Perhaps the next kosher cookbook that goes out on the market should be titled Frugal and Kosher Cooking! In fact, let's start writing the cookbook right here. Send me your inexpensive Shabbat menus and I will feature them right here on Orthonomics (at gmail dot come). I know many of my readers are interested in what is cooking in your frugal and kosher kitchen.

On the note: Pesach is Coming. If you are putting Pesach on a tight budget, consider yourself invited as the next guest poster (also see here and here). Don't join the group of post-Pesach slaves: Avadim hayinu l'Mastercard b'America.. You can make a budget Pesach, but you will have to skip the non-gebrochts pasta that tastes more like paste than pasta.

Smachot could easily be brought within reason considering much of the excess. We've beaten the chatunah to death already. So, I'll turn my attention to the brit milah. A popular caterer is advertising a bris special package that runs over $1,200 (mohel not included!). A brit milah seudah simply shouldn't cost that much. And, it doesn't have to. If you don't want to fork over that much money, order your own bagels, send your parents/in-laws/friends/neighbors to the grocery store to pick up some items for a simple seudah. One of the nicest brit milahs that I've ever been to was organized for a family that was flat broke. The coordinator asked families in the community to contribute one item to the seudah. Quite frankly, this seudah was the best brit milah seudah I've ever been to (I guess I'm not too keen on the regular tuna and egg salad fare). What if community catered brit milahs became a norm and the kashrut barriers could be overcome? What would happen if a family where to slice some bagels and set out store bought cream cheese and some cut up fruit, vegetables, and dips on the side. Before crying out that smachot are unaffordable, perhaps we can look for alternatives. Rabbi Boteach wants the Rabbis to take the bull by the horn. I don't know when I'm going to make my next simcha, but I don't plan to spend money I have no business spending. No Rabbi need to involve themselves. The laws of physics and the laws of economics apply in our household. Scarcity of resources is the main principal of the study of economics. I'm not embarrassed that such a truism reigns true in our household. There are alternatives beyond liquidating savings or turning to a HELoc. Simchas need not be spelled $imcha.

As for the price of ritual objects and shul membership, I look at this as the price to join the club. Perhaps if we weren't Orthodox Jews we would look to join a social club or pursue a pricey hobby. But being part of a Torah observant community is a top priority, and as a top priority we can't expect it to be free. But while we choose to make ourselves a part of the Orthodox community, we can still choose to live more than 3 blocks away from the shul.

Rabbi Boteach, I agree that we need to get the cost of living a Torah observant life under control. Let's not forget that we aren't helpless. Now, off to bake my own challah. Savings: at least $150 annually. Probably more.

PIP: Purim is Pashut

The following is an idea being forwarded by a Passaic Rav to help get mishloach manot under control. I'm posting it below:

The Short Vort
Good Morning!

Today is Friday the 3rd of Adar 5679 and February 27, 2009
Candle Lighting 5:27
Erev Shabbos Kollel- Mincha 4:30

PIP

Baruch Hashem the movement has begun.
PIP-
Purim
Is
Pashut-
Purim is Simple has taken hold of the community like wild fire.

The idea that you do not have to send dozens and dozens of Shaloch Manos complete with themes and decorations has become a reality!

Many, many people have written to me expressing their excitement about this new idea with regard to Shaloch Manos.

In order to help facilitate the program I need you. If you are really sick and tired about all the money and time and effort that goes into buying, organizing, preparing and distributing all of the unneeded Shaloch Manos; not to mention the actual unnecessary consumption of pounds and pounds of processed sugary white flour; then join PIP.

Here’s how it works, just prepare one or two Shaloch Manos for your neighbors and that’s it!

Now I realize that there are some exceptions to this. There are those people who you feel you just ‘must’ give to; teachers, Moros, Rebbeim, and the person you would like to make peace with.
However, all the dozens of people who do not need nor should they expect Shaloch Manos from you, just eliminate.

With all of the money you will save from buying unwanted nosh, you will be able to give more Mattanos L’Evyonim!

On Purim day all of us who ‘sign’ up for this program will hang on our doors a sign with the three letters: PIP.
When people come do the door, and they ask, “What is PIP?” explain to them what PIP stands for and explain that PIP is a program designed to eliminate unwanted and unneeded Shaloch Manos, and increase the amount of money which will go to helping the poor.

Think about all the extra time you will gain!
You will be able to spend more time with your family and less time packaging and preparing.
Think of all the stress in the house which will be eliminated. No more attempting to put together last minute Shaloch Manos; no more struggling to create a theme which will be impressive and out do the neighbor.

Most of all think of all the Chesed you are doing.

Think about those people who will benefit from the added money you will give to them.

Think about all those people who have been struggling for years to keep up with the Goldbergs by preparing and distributing dozens and dozens of Shaloch Manos they could not afford however, they felt obligated to do.

Although I generally keep responses private, I am going to make an exception and quote (with permission and anonymously) from one woman who wrote the following about the program:

G-d bless, R. Eisenman,I am SO happy you posted this. We have always tried to limit our Mishloach Manos in favor of Mattanos L’Evyonim, but it is hard to stand against the tide. There is the creeping tendency to keep up with the Schwartzes, and my Mishloach Manos list has been growing. There is also the pressure to make sure your Mishloach Manos are "good enough." I will be thrilled if the focus does shift. I am so glad you, at least, are speaking from the pulpit to redirect our priorities. If we all cut back, those who can't afford to give to their usual list will, IY"H, feel less embarrassed.

This is one example among many!

PIPis here and PIPis the way to GO!!!!

Join PIP now- forward this email to all of your friends and tell them that they should join PIPas well.

By all joining together and eliminating unneeded calories and junk food we will be increasing much needed Tzedokah money which can and will make a difference!!!

One more thing, even the one or two Shaloch Manos that you are sending- remember PIP. Meaning, no need to go ‘all out’ on them either!

Remember- by applying PIP in general to Purim,and to the one or two Shaloch Manos you do send out, you helping those people who really need our help!

Join today; please send me an email with the three letters PIP- to indicate that bli neder you are with us.

PIP signs will be posted in the lobby of the Shul.

Post your PIP sign on your front door already today!

Together we can make a difference this Purim!!!

Remember: PIP is the way to olam haba!!!

A Purim Laugh: Too Suggestive

Worth a laugh! Ariella runs advertisements from various vendors and always has a few stories. In the most recent edition, she learns that a some editor at some Chareidi newspaper was told his ad showing one bed with two pillows was too suggestive!

My bed currently has five pillows on it! I wonder what sort of image would float through this editor's head if he were to ever see a picture of my bed.

Purim, Gifts, and Tax Law

VIN has decided to post under the title, "New York - Is There A Chiyuv to Give Ma'aser From 'Mishloach Manos'? "

When asked this question, a Rabbi Ephraim Greenblatt answers the following:

". . . saw in a Sefer Uvacharta BaChaim that Rav Chaim Kreiswirth said in
hesped for Rav Yaakov Kaminetzky that Rav Yaakov would report as income and pay taxes on mishloach manos that he received. If so then similarly one should give ma'aser. He concludes by saying that nevertheless the matter needs further research. "

Actually, this needs no further research. When your neighbor brings you a pricey basket filled with overpriced items that you would never purchase yourself, don't start sweating about your Federal 1040. No need to hire an assessor before your children attack the pile of nosh.

The Rabbi is onto something, but he is no tax accountant. There are occasions where Rabbis (and their female counterparts) receive significant gifts on specific occasions that are not gifts, but actually income. Unlike VIN, I'm not going to pontificate about which gifts are income, rather than gifts. Those receiving honorariums for speaking or performing weddings or brit milah and those receiving significant Chanukah gelt should consult a tax practice about what they need to account for. They should also learn what expenses are deductible so they don't blindly go about claiming income and not fully expensing what they can legally expense.

Yashrut needs more emphasis and we are sadly witnessing the terrible consequences of a lack of yashrut (see the latest from Spinka and how extensively the IRS is prosecuting, U.S. Attorney News Release posted at VIN). But, I'm sorry, chatting about the possibility that mishloach manot might be taxable to the average Joe, isn't likely to promote the increase in yashrut that many of us would like to see.

Some Orthonomic Purim Notes

Honestly Frum is talking about the custom of Yeshiva bachurim going door to door to collect funds on Purim. They often come in limos and alcohol is an issue because besides collecting door-to-door, some of them also drink door-to-door. Those outside of the New York area might not have to deal with this.

This year, a tremendous amount of wealth has been lost and, sadly, many people have lost their jobs. Honestly Frum is calling for a one year hiatus on the door-to-door collections to help givers that can no longer freely write checks (and would probably just prefer to fulfill the mitzvah of Matanot Laevyonim by dropping their check into the Rabbi's basket with little fanfare) maintain their dignity.

What do my readers think? Is a one year hiatus for the sake of those just trying to hold on the right thing to do? (Yes, this is theoretical since few of us can change whatever is planned).

And now unto a subject I need to think about personally: Mishloach Manot. I've done NOTHING and need to get myself together.

Rebbitzen Jungreis, in the Jewish Press, has recommended putting less things in the basket, but still giving out the same amount, while concentrating on gifts to the poor. (It would be hard to put less into the bags my kids, uh, decorate). Fortunately, I don't live in a community where 'basket' means much more than some baked goods and a piece of fruit.

Readers at VIN are duking it out over the idea of toning it down, and just as my alarm clock goes off every morning, many are reminding the readership of its obligation to support those who make their living selling (overpriced) pre-made Purim baskets. I've already addressed the increasingly loud choir here and here. I see no obligation to buy unnecessary things just because someone frum is trying to peddle them. Be reasonable.

In another exchange, one Yated letter writer implored readers to give food that people can actually use, rather than junk. Whereas another reader stated that people are cutting back on all the junk their kids enjoy and the junk would be appreciated. Personally, I love receiving both types of food. I nab up all of the snack foods and my kids a little at a time so they don't go crazy. Fruits get put in a fruit bowl and eaten regularly. (Yes, we sell chometz).

Your thoughts on Purim . . . . . . . . . .
Also, I'm not writing about drinking this year. I've put in my 2 cents in the past. Perhaps a recession means people just won't be buying and the problem will lessen (a girl can wish, right?)

Dear Orthonomics: What do you think?
What About your readers?

Dear Orthonomics,
Can you please advise? I have found an incredible deal on a quasi-essential big ticket item that would really help improve quality of life in our home. I’m thrilled to find this item, which I predicted would cost over $1000 for only $600. However, I do not have the cash to buy this item and will need to put it on a high interest rate credit card. I will be able to chip away at the debt each month and believe I will pay off the entire purchase in just over one year, incurring around $100 in additional cost. I’ve calculated the price after interest and it still is a deeply discounted. What do you think?
Sincerely,
A reader

Dear Reader,
My answer won’t surprise you! Don’t do it! Personal finance is more about behavior than numbers. While the numbers work out favorably, you have to keep in mind that another great deal will come along. Between now and then, you can save up the cash for the purpose. As you state, the item is quasi-essential, not essential. Refraining from the purchase will not prevent you from working or receiving necessary and expensive medical care, it will simply make your life more convenient.

We have a saying in this house, “debt begets debt.” If you do not have the cash to make a relatively small purchase, and this is a relatively small purchase, you are certain to find yourself in a bind as unexpected purchases accrue. And life has its way of throwing the unexpected, from increased prices for essentials like rent, utilities, food, or gas, to some thug sticking nails into your car tire twice during the same week or busting your windshield (yes, both of these things happened to us!), to the shower doors and bedroom door lock malfunctioning and leaving you nearly trapped inside (yes, both of these have also happened to us!).

If you really believe that you can chip away at this debt over the course of a year, you can also SAVE up the cash over the same year. I recommend going into serious saving mode through all means possible. Look for a little bit of extra work here and there. Before long, you will have the cash and another deal will come along.

Sincerely,
Orthonomics

The Article Has Been Found!

Dual Income Homeschooling Families


I am certain that I have the best readers and commentors of any J-blog. A reader of this blog kindly went out of her way to locate the article I referred to in a recent homeschooling post in a database and email me the article. The article isn't quite the way I remembered it, but I believe after seeing it, I found other available information. Thank you to a reader!


I'm pasting the article below and highlighting the sections I find most interesting:


Extreme Juggling: Parents Home-School The Kids While Holding Full-Time


WORK & FAMILY


By Sue Shellenbarger


14 September 2006


The Wall Street Journal D1 English (Copyright (c) 2006, Dow Jones & Company, Inc.)


IN THE QUEST for work-life balance, wearing three hats -- work, kids and personal life -- is enough for most parents.


A fast-growing group of parents is adding a fourth: home-schooling.


Amid expansion of home-schooling in general, the involvement of parents who are employed full time or almost full time is increasing even faster, researchers and home-schooling advocates say. This new group of employed home-schoolers often work for family businesses that offer flexibility. But an increasing number answer to independent employers and clients, juggling deadlines and corporate demands with book reports and math tests. For some, this means working split shifts and seven-day weeks on little sleep. But these parents say they also gain more time with their kids and more control over their education.


From 9:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. each day, Shari Smith, who works about 60 hours a week as an online-community moderator for the Web site iVillage.com, also home-schools her 11-year-old daughter Rebekah. Working side by side with Rebekah at adjacent desks in their Yorktown, Va., home, Ms. Smith takes 15- to 30-minute breaks from her job to explain concepts and answer questions. Each evening, she sets aside time to prepare her daughter's assignments for the next day.


Occasionally, Ms. Smith says, "all hell breaks loose" on her job because of co-workers' needs or breaking news, and she has to focus intensely on work. Then, she asks Rebekah to go on auto-pilot. "I'll say, 'You know what, why don't you work on that report?'" But most days, she enjoys extra time with her daughter. Her husband helps out when he can, but has a less-flexible career in the military.


Rebekah says she likes working side by side with her mother. Home-schooling, she says, "is pretty cool, because I can be in my pajamas in school."


About 1.9 million to 2.4 million children are home-schooled nationwide, estimates the National Home Education Research Institute, a Salem, Ore., nonprofit. In 2003, 1.1 million children were home-schooled, according to the federal government, the most recent government data available.


While parents traditionally have home-schooled their children for religious reasons, an increasing number have secular motivations, including concerns about peer pressure, security worries or other complaints about public schools such as a lack of individual attention, says Laura Derrick, Austin, Texas, president of the National Home Education Network, a nonprofit. Based on her own rough estimate, she says about 33% of home-schooled children are taught by parents who also work at paying jobs, up from about 25% five years ago.


Fitting a school course load into the work day isn't unrealistic, parents say. After subtracting commuting and nonacademic activities from kids' days, such as waiting in line, free periods and other down time, most parents can finish academic work in two to four hours, they say.


Among parents I interviewed, all had told their bosses or clients about their home-schooling; none met any objections -- although flexible work setups are crucial. Most admitted they worry sometimes about shortchanging either work or their kids' education, and many have to drop a day's lessons now and then for work. But all said they are confident that over the course of each year, their children get a good education. Several pointed to their kids' high scores on standardized tests. What suffers most, some say, is personal time.


The rising availability of packaged and online curricula ease the load (and also enable parents to handle subjects they don't know well). Students using the Robinson Curriculum, for example, a program popular among working parents for its emphasis on independent problem-solving, have doubled in five years to an estimated 60,000 students, says creator Art Robinson, of Cave Junction, Ore. Growth in organized classes for home-schooled kids, offered by museums, libraries or community organizations, is also a help.


Still, working and home-schooling is insanely difficult sometimes. Single mother Amy Garber, Mechanicsville, Va., works full time as a compliance specialist for a financial-services concern. When she has to go to her employer's office in the mornings, a sitter cares for her two children, 9 and 2. At home in the afternoons, Ms. Garber focuses on learning time with her 9-year-old son. Then after the kids have gone to bed, she goes back to work in her home office from 7:30 p.m. to midnight. She says she routinely works weekends to get all her work done.


It is easier when mothers and fathers share the load. Lisa Wood -- mother of two, freelance writer and home-schooler -- splits teaching duties with her husband, who owns a saddle-fitting business. He teaches science and history; she teaches English and math. Ms. Wood gets up as early as 4 a.m. to meet daily professional deadlines.


"Some people say, 'Wow, you've taken on a lot,'" says Ms. Wood, who lives in Esmont, Va. "But then I watch people whose kids go to school, and that's a lot too -- hustling to get them out early to the bus, dealing with issues with the school." She adds, "Either way, educating a child is demanding."