Financial Tips for Newlyweds Who Have Never Paid a Utility Bill

A reader wrote me with a special request for a post. I thought the idea to be fantastic. Granted, those "Newlyweds Who Have Never Paid a Utility Bill" of their own aren't exactly my main readership, there are a good number of us who do have extended family for which this is the case. And, hopefully the tips I'm putting together are words of wisdom worth sharing with the novice who is interested in listening and learning.

This post has been long in developing as I have a hard time relating to such a position. Elementary school math included some check writing and register exercises. Once I had check writing down, I started to write checks for my mother for phone and utilities (back in the day, there were drop boxes located within local stores for utility checks). When I was in middle school, I used to help my father out in his office which included some basic book keeping. I have a hard time imagining being thrown into an apartment, with a new spouse and likely a new baby before shana rishona is up, never having dealt with some of the basics from check writing to making a budget. On top of that, advice for chatanim and kallot is more likely to contain advice about gift giving than dealing with the big financial picture, or more likely the lack of finances.

Following are 5 tips I'm hoping will be of help to those who need a reference point as to where to start when dealing with money. These tips have less to do with the actual mechanics, and more to do with developing a philosphy. The mechanics are something that need to be practiced and organized, each according to what works best.



1. Resolve to Communicate with your spouse: Functioning as two ships passing in the night is the quick road to disaster. Within certain circles there is an expectation that a man takes on certain functions, while a woman takes on others. Better to be a unit where both parties understand the expectations of the other and the financial picture.

2. Know What Trouble Looks Like Before It Strikes: Or, in other words, don't ignore the future and make appropriate plans, rather than find yourself in crisis later.

3. Understand Risk and Know What an Asset Is: There are too many stories of young people in the frum community loosing their wedding money to schemes as well as investments that were too risky for them. Additionally, understand what an asset is and what it isn't. To make this short, your sheitel isn't an asset, even if it is the most fabulous custom. If you are investing, buy assets and avoid risk that is financially inappropriate for your profile and your age.

4. Don't Ignore One Side of the Financial Equation to the Detriment of the Other: I've read some frugal tips that border on the extreme. I also know people who believe the answer to financial issues is to bring home more and more. Each solution, carried to its extreme, isn't particularly healthy. Try to walk the middle road between increasing income (especially long term earnings) and decreasing expenses.

5. Take a note from Mah Tovu and Seek Advice from Appropriate Sources: In other words, don't look in your neighbors windows and when you need advice, seek out people demonstrate the appropriate expertise and objectivity.


Readers, people add your advice, words of wisdom, and personally experiences regarding pitfalls, both philosophical and practical. Also, try to keep the comments light and respectful, especially during the three weeks.