Guest Poster at KOAB

I'm a featured guest poster on KOAB. Check out my post Summer Meal Prep o the Fly and share your own quick and frugal meal tips that keep pizza at bay.

Statement of Integrity, join the movement

A reader pointed out that the Ottawa Torah Institute and Machon Sarah have posted a Statement of Integrity on their webpage. The school is asking other schools to join them. This is a wonderful start to combating a near disease. Read on and encourage your school to join a movement to clarify issues of yashrut.

Statement of Integrity

To our great sadness, recent criminal convictions and ongoing prosecutions of individuals associating with or representing various Orthodox Jewish institutions (fortunately, none of them in Ottawa) have raised questions regarding core Torah values and beliefs. So that there should be no confusion, we feel we therefore have no choice but to make our views public and to formally distance ourselves from any such behaviour.

It is the position of the Ottawa Torah Institute that theft, fraud, money laundering, the abuse of government social programs or any similar crimes (including, Heaven forbid, crimes of violence) are plainly forbidden by Torah law no matter who stands to gain or who the victim may be.

We believe that Jews should have an especially deep sense of gratitude to the governments of the Western world - our own Canadian government in particular - for having provided us with a safe, prosperous and truly free home without parallel in all the centuries of our people's exile. We also share a very keen interest in preserving and enhancing the rule of law. Being the proud and grateful beneficiaries of our nation's just laws and their fair enforcement, it is unfathomable to us how anyone similarly blessed could spurn them.

We invite other like-minded Torah institutions to similarly make their beliefs known.Let us know if you do join in.

Read this particularly appropriate article, written decades ago by Rabbi Shimon Schwab of the Breuer's kehilla of Washington Heights, New York.

Tuition vs. the Dentist

[Previous post is active,. After a blogging lull, I think I'm on a blogging spree].

Long time readers might remember this post in which a letter writer and commentors talked about "giving up the dentist" because of Yeshiva Tuition. It seems that trading in health for tuition keeps coming up. These excerpts are from the post 2010 post:

Excerpt #1: But is hard to appreciate the good things in life when you are sitting and staring at a bank account that is emptying out faster than it fills up. It is hard to smile when you have to tell your 12-year-old kid that he can’t go to the dentist this month even though his tooth is hurting because you don’t have the money for it. It is hard to be happy when your wife is frustrated that you are just not making ends meet no matter how hard you are working and how hard you are trying.

Excerpt #2: Giving up the dentist was the hardest of all for us, we also earn income higher than this poster, but when we had no income, the school tuition committee thought we were hiding something and refused us. That was 15 years ago and we still don’t have necessary dental care—the adults in our family have allowed our teeth to rot and become diseased, and have suffered bouts of excruciating pain without seeing a dentist because we couldn’t afford it. The children who needed braces did not get them, nor did they get normal dental care. Along the way we mentioned this to a Rav whose response was What about all the Rabbi’s teaching in Yeshiva who can’t get dental care? So we just keep quiet and suffer. But at least now we pay full tuition.

This week on imamother in a post on does anyone really save (yes!), 2011, someone writes:

I would love to save, but how? My husband and I both work. We make too much to get any benefits. The yeshivos and schools all see our income and will not give any tuition reductions. We live in a too small apartment because we cannot afford to pay more in rent. It is now nearly the end of the month and our account is overdrawn by nearly $100 and we still owe money to the grocery. I was so embarrassed to turn away a meshulach last week--I couldn't even find a quarter to give him! We don't have dental insurance (too expensive), so my kids have not been to the dentist, although they need to and do have cavities.

I agree savings are necessary, but there are those of us who really and truly live paycheck to paycheck without any extras. I don't have even an extra 2 cents.

I understand forgoing vacations, trips, cars, a more comfortable home to provide children with education. I can understand forgoing saving to pay for Yeshiva tuition, even though I think it is a decision that is soon to catch up with far too many people. But I can't understand forgoing the treatment of cavities. I don't like to throw around words like abuse or neglect, but the practice of forgoing basic dental health is dangerous and at the very least neglectful.

I was surprised the follow up comment was:

"If you've gone through your budget, eliminated the things that you can, and still can't save, well, then you can't save right now. Most of us have gone through periods like that. "

Maybe I'm the bad/unreasonable person here, but for us basic health comes before tuition. What else isn't getting treated? Just a month out of school (perhaps Tishrei, followed by begging your way back in come Cheshvan) would solve the immediate need for dentistry. At some point tuition is EXTRA and I think that when your kid's teeth are rotting, that point has been reached.

Do I have any dentists readers out there? Can one of you possibly volunteer a post? Information I'd like to learn most about is if middle-income families can qualify for low cost dental care or take advantage of dental clinics in dental schools.

Guest Post: Retirement Stages

I forgot to ask my reader if I could identify, so until the reader self-identifies, I will not put an identity onto this Guest Post/Comment sent to me offline.

Thank you ProfK for your insightful comments and guest post. ProfK blogs at Conversations in Klal.

When people discuss retirement, they are often discussing different things, hence statements like that of one of my friends, "retirement is goyish." The first time I heard of this comment arguing that saving for retirement was unnecessary, I was perplexed/floored. What could possibly be "goyish" about having the money stop working because it is simply impossible or not in the best interest of the client/patient to be in the workplace? What could possibly be goyish about retaining some dignity and not come to rely on others when your expenses exceed your income (which can and does happen even if you continue to work)? What could possibly be "goyish" about leaving the classroom because your heart is no longer there?

Once I put my thinking cap on (dan l'chaf zechut), I realized that my friend has a T.V. view of retirement where retirees cease being productive. Personally, I have no issues with people who have worked for many years, met their obligations, and put their children on their own two feet, taking some of their hard earned money to do things they are interested in doing, be that traveling the world or leaving the world of earning to sit and learn or volunteer. I guess there are always those who will park themselves in front of their TV and speed the aging process. But that doesn't make retirement bad, does it?

In the spirit of full disclosure, I tend to jump straight to "stage 2" as defined by my guest poster because I'm hoping to reach the audience that views retirement as only fun, fun, fun, forgetting that retirement also means expenses that made yeshiva look like a bargain.

From now on, I'm hoping to use "stage 1" or "stage 3" in posts about retirement because I like the demarcation. It is important to remember that one spouse might be in a "stage 1" while the other hits "stage 3" pre-maturely. Or a couple might never enjoy a "stage 1" because they slowed down while they were still working.

Nonetheless, when thinking about retirement, there is much to consider. So, without further ado, my guest poster:

----------------------------------------------------

Just a few thoughts on the posting on retirement that you put up that the article referenced doesn't cover and that might be helpful when you do your commentary later.

Given the age that people live to today talking about retirement is a misnomer--there are at least 2, possibly 3, retirement levels for people over 65, and each level has differing requirements. Level 1 is the "yippee, I no longer have to work all year and can finally do all the things I've put off doing and see all the places I've put off seeing" level. During this time period, generally from immediately post retirement until some time in the late 70s, retirees seem to like to travel, and still pretty much have the energy to do so. People on this level are likely to move away from their home communities, particularly if those communities are in cold weather areas. Trying out new experiences is part of this level. Generally speaking people on this level are still fairly healthy, although some problems may be developing or first show up. Most seniors on this level are still fairly self-mobile, most continuing to drive their own cars. Obviously there are exceptions, but I'm talking about the general run of people in this age range. This level lasts until the mid to late 70s. While there are some who may require assisted living facilities or nursing homes, the majority of those on this level can remain in their own homes.

Level 2 is from the late 70s into about the mid 80s. This level is characterized by a reduction in "energy," with activities slowing down. Many serious health issues can become problematic during this level. In particular, vision and its related ailments starts playing a larger role in the lives of people on this level. People on this level may find themselves needing to be closer to family--and moving to be closer if they are living elsewhere- because they need extra help they didn't need for Level 1. Mobility may become an issue for some on this level--you see a lot of knee and hip replacements as joints wear out and bones break easier. Many on this level no longer drive a car, so getting places can be more difficult. Certain heretofore quite doable household chores take much longer, if they can be done at all. A number of people on this level may find themselves requiring assisted living facilities or nursing homes.

Level 3 does not have a large population of people, although that will change as they are constantly upgrading average life expectancy. People on this level are from the mid 80s to in the 90s. Fully healthy, fully independent people on this level are rare. While some may live by themselves in their own homes, they need assistance with many/most ordinary tasks of living. Short and long term memory problems are common on this level. Any health issues that arise present more of a difficulty as people in this age range have less resistance to such health issues, less ability to fight back. For wont of a better word, people on this level are fragile. On this level living independently becomes the exception rather than the rule. Certainly a large percentage of these people find themselves living with family or living in nursing homes.

From an economic point of view, the monies required differ for each level as expenditures change. Planning for retirement income, therefore, requires people to look at the three levels and see how much will be needed to sustain them on each level. As the article noted, nursing homes are notoriously expensive. If that possibility may exist as you go to Level 2 and Level 3, spending will need to be adjusted in Level 1 to account for this.

. . . . just some thoughts I thought I'd share.

Worth While Read: 5 Biggest Retirement Myths

I've wanted to share some thoughts on the cost of aging for a while now and this Smart Money Magazine article is a good place to start as it mirrors some of my own thoughts on retirement/aging.

In Smart Money's 5 Biggest Retirement Myth articles, the author names these myths and I have followed each category with some notes of my own.

1. $1 Million Will be Enough

The article mentions that future retirees don't correctly estimate what they will need in retirement which is likely directly related to the following myth #2, that people spend less when they are older. When coupled with falling investment income and market fluctuation, that seemingly huge amount of money doesn't seem so big anymore. Furthermore, inflation on the basics makes it difficult to keep up. A paid off home still requires lights, gas, and water. Eating costs can easily double, especially if a special diet must be adhered to.

2. You'll Spend Less When You Are Older

If there is any myth that needs to go, this one is it. The article mentions exotic travel versus funding a grandchild's College Savings plan, both optional expenses, as well as rocketing entertainment and travel expenses.

Leaving aside the optional expenses, medical expenses are seriously underestimated in the planning stages. Life insurance may no longer be necessary, but the costs are replaced (exponentially) by long term care insurance. I'm continually struck by how much medical costs run even where health is relatively ok.

Many believe they will be able to stay in their (paid for) home, but find it is necessary to re-locate to a residence such as a condo or co-op. Fees and taxes alone can rival a mortgage in some places. People who have never spent a penny on cleaning services may now find that necessary. Ditto for lawn services or other personal services.

3. Older People Need More Bonds

4. You're Money Lasts Longer if You Move

In this section, the author talks about comparing all taxes (state income vs. sales tax vs. property tax). Additionally, not every retiree moves from an expensive area to an inexpensive one. The opposite might be more pragmatic ad that is something to consider. Quality of life factored in, some choose to follow their children to more expensive areas, or return to the expensive area because that is home.

Knowing a little bit about what nursing assistance can cost, having family close by and available to help could well be a more frugal choice over trading in more expensive digs for less expensive ones.

5. Uncle Sam Has Your Back

Medicare doesn't cover it all, necessitating supplemental insurance. Medicaid for nursing home care only sets in once you are properly impoverished. A spouse can retain some assets in addition to a home, but those assets need to cover housing, food, taxes, transportation, medical, etc. Long term care might alleviate some of the expense of nursing home care should that become necessary, but anyone have an idea of what nursing care runs even after insurance? And then there are still the expenses of the household.

More thoughts to follow I'm sure.

Can Someone Just Say it Out Loud?

Hat Tip: Jewish Worker

Can someone just say out loud that this (published in Mishpacha) and this (an advertisement I saw in other publications besides the one Marty Bluke noted) are foreign worship/avoda zara!?!

I simply will not give to any organization that promotes such foreign worship. I wish publications would refuse such ads. These same publications have take to obliterating the faces of girls and women of all ages, to say nothing of the stir of recent memory when Clinton was photoshopped out of a picture, in the name of "tznius" yet they run ads for manufactured segulot, the newest being "segula wine" and "silver segula rings" which have been engraved with holy names and dunked in the mikvah three times, and protected with double cover as per the instructions.

What's next Marty Bluke asks? I have no idea. But I think it high time some frum communities stop getting worked up when a missionary step foot in the 'hood. Far more dangerous than a J-Witness handing out literature door to door or a young group of Mormons knocking, are the advertisements making their into frum houses each and every week via snail mail and in publications and advertising booklets.

Owning Your Problem

I have to point my readers to a totally unexpected personal finance reflection, 10 Ways to Stay Poor Forever, featured on Budgets are Sexy by Ms. Adams. Ms. Adams, in the comments section, writes that social programs turned her into a government assistance junkie and calls her own life repugnant. What I like about this post is that the author has owned her problem. That is empowering.

I like this post because the author is taking ownership of her issue. Because it was so blunt, I originally thought it was a satire piece, but apparently not. In the 10 Ways to Stay Poor Forever, she manages to summarize months worth of blog material here at Orthonomics.

Since I can't cut and paste the post here, I will just summarize and you can head on over to the post yourself!

How to "Stay Poor Forever", the kitzur.

• Don't pay your bills.
• Rely on windfalls.
• Avoid manual labor, babysitting, and extra jobs.
• Spend your time chasing government assistance.
• Congratulate yourself on lack of a mortgage.
• Waste time finding yourself and your next career.
• Spend time on "work at home opportunities" and multi-level marketing schemes.
• Spend too much time shopping and finding deals, even though you don't have money to spend and a budget.
• Don't make realistic plans.
• Throw tantrums when you run out of money and celebrate a paycheck by spending money.
• And #11, a latte habit.

Some People Will Use Anything as an Argument for Vouchers

Priority 7, ACS, OST, alphabet and number soup. Once again the Brooklyn frum community is campaigning to have funding restored to child care programs that are heavily used by the Brooklyn frum community.

Yet in the fight to restore this welfare program, VIN readers of this Press Release and this Press Releases, readers who are fighting for restored welfare funding make the case for private school vouchers!

Here are two gems:

If you realy want to save money and get a better education, just give 1/3 of the money used for public schools as a voucher directly to the parents to use for school. Each public school child cost about $15,000 per year! Our budget problems would be solved!

--AND--

I haven't seen any comments putting this issue into the following perspective:

Religious families are denied equal access to public funding. Why are we being denied a free and appropriate education?

We have no choice but the foot the bill and pay school taxes and then tuitions for all our wonderful children (which we should never be criticized for having!).

Our children become productive citizens and assets to society!

Why are we being inhibited from
our right to give our children a religious education?!

This is unconstitutional--and we should be fighting with this cause!

This is assistance we as a community deserve and have earned!

Please contact me to promote this cause.

Earth to the commentators! You are beneficiaries of private (yeshiva) education. Government dependency among such beneficiaries is ridiculously high. This is not a convincing argument for school vouchers! If anything, it is an argument against private education. But I guess when you are fighting the good fight, anything can and will be used as an argument for vouchers. . . even the threat of cuts to welfare programs. Goodness gracious. There are no words for such ridiculousness.

Reply »

Guest Post: Do Not Provide Your Child's Social Security Number

[Another fantastic Guest Post from another fantastic reader and contributor. Thanks for your time and effort as you alert readers to an important issue].

It's that time of year, parents are busy filling in school and camp application forms, complete with the "required" names, ages, dates of birth, Social Security numbers, and more. But before you provide that information (that actually may not really be required), stop, and think, and realize that you could inadvertently be setting up your child for a painful financial future.

Identify theft is one of the fastest growing crimes in America. As per the Social Security Administration (http://www.ssa.gov/pubs/10064.html) "A dishonest person who has your Social Security number can use it to get other personal information about you. Identity thieves can use your number and your good credit to apply for more credit in your name. Then, they use the credit cards and do not pay the bills. You may not find out that someone is using your number until you are turned down for credit or you begin to get calls from unknown creditors demanding payment for items you never bought. Someone illegally using your Social Security number and assuming your identity can cause a lot of problems." This is a very real threat, and numerous victims have had their lives turned upside because a crook used or stole their Social Security number.

So what does this have to do with your kids? In 2006, 5% of all social security numbers stolen belonged to children, and in 2010 that number had increased to 8%. In one recent study of 42,000 children, Carnegie Mellon found that over 10% of their Social Security numbers had been misused, that’s more than 50 times the rate for the adults studied. It's gotten so bad that next month the FTC is sponsoring an event entitled "Stolen Futures: A Forum on Child ID Theft" (http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/workshops/stolenfutures/). Kids are the perfect identify theft victim because their Social Security numbers may not be used for years, allowing thieves lots of time to open accounts, rack up bills, and even commit crimes ... and your child will never know until they actually try to open a bank account or get a job or buy a house.

This is a serious problem. The government has long recognized that Social Security numbers were being requested too frequently and in ways never intended. This is why medical insurance companies are no longer allowed to you Social Security numbers as account numbers (until a few years ago your insurance card had your Social Security number embossed on the front). But, despite insurance companies not actually needing your Social Security number, Doctor's offices routinely ask for it for no other reason than that’s what they are used to. The truth is that you may decline to provide Social Security number, and you'll still be seen by the doctor.

And schools and camps are no different. Just about every school and camp application asks for your Social Security number. In fact, one yeshiva application we just filled in asked for a copy of my child's birth certificate! Why? I've asked multiple schools and camps to explain the need for this information, and they have yet to give me a reason other than that's the way they have always done it.

Ok, so schools don't need your child's Social Security number, and they most definitely don't need a birth certificate. But what's the big deal if you provide it to them, after all, you trust your school, right? Actually, wrong! Few (if any) of our schools have the right safeguards in place to secure confidential information. Offices are routinely left unlocked, filing cabinets are often open, computers are seldom adequately secured, there is usually no formally defined information access policy or audit-trial. In fact, I have personally seen piles of applications sitting openly on secretary's desks. And that's just this year's forms. If you are feeling brave, ask your school what they did with previous year's forms! And if you think schools are bad, camps are even worse!

I'll admit to generalizing here. There may indeed be some schools and camps with perfect policies in place to secure your children's confidential information. But, even if this were true, it still does change the fact that schools in general do not need this information, and you as a parent are free to refuse to provide it. Or put differently, for over a decade we have sent kids to multiple schools and camps in multiple states, have always refused to provide Social Security numbers, and the institutions have still been more than happy to accept our kids and cash our checks.

That’s not to say that there are never legitimate needs for the information. But, when asked, challenge the institution for details about data security, ask who will have access to the information and where it’ll be sent, and if the school is collecting the information for a government agency, consider sending it yourself.

The bottom line is just as you protect your kids from illnesses, inclement weather, bad drivers, poor influences, and more, you also have to protect their financial futures from potential ruin. Don’t give your child social security to anyone, even (or especially) schools just because they ask for it. The answer must always be no, unless a very compelling reason and justification can be made for saying yes.

Like Drugs to an Addict are Loans to a Debtor

As sent to me by a reader from a listserve in a major NY community. . . . .

An amazing opportunity, I think not. How about an opportunity that could leave someone else holding the bag? I don't think it is a chessed in the slightest to help people live beyond their means, even if it masquerades as hachnasat kallah. Here you have a family holding 3 jobs between them and they still need loans to make weddings. This, my friends, is a good sign that the last thing you need is another loan. Clearly debt has become a way of life.

Giving interest free loans is a hallmark of Jewish society, but (in my opinion) using gemach loans as such is a perversion of a mitzvah and only serves to denigrate the mitzvah. Interest-free loans are not supposed to promote dependency, but promote prosperity. If they are creating dependency and working against prosperity, then something is wrong.

But, you have to love the CAPS and the exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!

We are A"H making a wedding for our daughter on June 12th .

we have an opportunity to take out a gemach loan for $5000 for only $100 a month ! this is very rare- usually they want $300 a month or more!

we just finished paying off a $1000 loan for $100 a month and we are almost done with another loan for $50 a month.

we are already used to paying $150 a month and we have 3 jobs between my husband and myself. we are very very confident that we can cover this loan !

It would be such a HUGE CHESSED if someone would be willing to co sign this loan for us? we have one co signer right now but we still need ONE MORE .........

we need to get the application in by this sunday?

Thanks so very much for your consideration !

If you want to speak to me email me and i will give you my ph# or you can give me YOUR ph#?

Boys Will Be Boys

It is nice to see that this yeshiva is working on the issue of boys from the school jumping fences, going onto the rooftop, and breaking the neighbor's windows. And perhaps the surveillance cameras will do the job (so the boys can be expelled) . . . . .

But, pardon me for having an opinion, but this entire approach to raising boys of "boys will be boys"---therefore we shouldn't give them a proverbial kick in the tuchus from the get go, lay down the law, and follow through with consequences when the behavior pattern has yet to be ingrained into the psyche--is completely flawed approach, and one I continually run into. I've heard this excuse too many times from neighborhood parents and educators. And I protest!

Bad behavior (especially behavior that violates the basic foundation of Torah--i.e. do not destroy other people's stuff) should never get a free pass. Many of our boys* need more exercise, more space to run around in, an educations better suited for their energy. But when you get to the point of vandalism and even having to install surveillance video, a generation of young men has been failed. Expulsion is a band-aid after parents and educators haven't done their jobs. What a pity.

We demean boys (read: future husbands and fathers) when we write off their behavior to their gender and give them a free pass--only to let that behavior hurt them later--rather than embracing their characteristics and channeling them appropriately.

*and girls too for the record

A Must Share from Mishlei

I ran across what follows in Mishlei a while back and it hit me like a ton of bricks because it described people that I've interacted with over time that lacked integrity, even though they talked a good talk.

In light of the my recent postings, I thought it was worth posting and always relevant. Translation is from Feldheim's Malbim on Mishley. Commentary is from Rabbi Meir Leibush Malbim. Note that this selections comes from the perek which begins with the case of a man becoming a surety for his neighbor, yet giving a handshake to the stranger. The man has promised the same thing to two people and has to save himself. He is instructed those who promise what they don't have not to sleep. He must shed his external trapping to save his integrity and the fight is an uphill battle. He is then instructed to regard the way of the ant, the ant who works with great independence and diligence as he stores for the winter.

Mishlei captures the human condition and the words are just as powerful today as any. The picture Shlomo HaMelech paints is so very vivid.

Perek Vav (12-14)

"An irreligious person, a man of iniquity, walks with a perverse mouth; winking with his eyes, scraping with his feet, pointing with his fingers. Treacherous fickleness in his heart, he devises evil continually; he sows discord. Therefore his calamity shall come suddenly; all at once he will be broken, and without remedy."

Commentary:

An irreligious man who flaunts the commandments between man and his maker and is evil toward his fellowman can be recognized by seven characteristics, listed here:

1. His speech: he attacks wisdom, the principles of the moral law;

2. His actions: "Winking with his eyes" denotes that he disregards the command "you shall not turn astray after your eyes"

d. His movements: "Scraping with his feet" implies that he rushes to do evil;

4. His hands: "he points with his fingers"

5. His thoughts: "treacherous fickleness is in his heart" -- in matters of faith he is heretical

6. "He devises evil" in his relations with others.

7. "He sows discord" among others, acting as a source of social tension.