Three important differences I quickly noted, among other:
1) The line "beg, borrow, cheat, or steal" is GONE, replaced by "beg, borrow, or do whatever it takes"
2) The tone is more somewhat more gentle, less accusatory/blaming although a healthy dose remains. E.g. this line is gone: "It isn't only my fault that we as a community have utterly and totally failed these young women."
There is not asking a single hard hitting question asked and answered by the newspaper. Basically it is free publicity courtesy a publication that has some freedom of press, or at least more than the Yated or other publications. I'd say "kid gloves" defines the article, but I think my kids ask harder hitting questions than what we've got here.
Please don't think this post has replaced previous posts. In fact, see the previous post also (super important re: track record). As per the article, 20 are signed up. I don't know if that is emet or sheker, but NASI has found free advertising and I will use my cyberink too.
15 comments:
If the market expresses dismay over wording or content, the entrepreneur finds ways to fine tune his message. This is no substitute for a good plan with full disclosure.
There needs to be some meat to Orthodox journalism. It shouldn't just be paid or unpaid advertising plus reprinted press releases.
fyi, "kid gloves" refers to gloves made from young goats. The leather is extremely soft. So, to treat with kid gloves means to handle delicately.
Thanks JS.
Putting aside the issue of giving a scam like this free advertising and why in the world the five towns is getting involved in this (it wouldn't not too long ago), here's an ethical question to consider:
Newspapers routinely edit articles for content, spelling, and grammar. It's even done for letters to the editor or "dear abby" type letters. At what point does this editing and correcting mistakes become dishonest? Here, you have a guy who is running a charity and can barely spell, doesn't use proper grammar, shows poor reasoning and logic skills, and implies stealing and cheating to make a shidduch is okay. To me, at least, seeing someone who writes and communicates in this manner raises serious concerns over whether I'd give the person even a single dollar or trust him with another's money. But, when he's edited and all the errors are eliminated such that his writing seems polished and respectable doesn't it now seem like maybe he's more responsible and more on top of things?
At what point is this editing crossing over to dishonesty and creating a false impression?
JS, It is a good question. Clearly I believe this interview and editing was terrible judgement. I don't feel the same way per se re: Dear Abby type columns. The reason the Q is asked and answered is general audience appeal. If there was not something universal in the question, it wouldn't be addressed in a column.
do you have a problem with free advertising for an org. to help women get married??! Whats your problem?
btw moshe pogrow doesnt get a salary for this. just agmas nefesh from you etc. see my comments on last post.
I get agmas nefesh (mental anguish) from people like you who support people who are, at worst, complete charlatans and thieves or, at best, completely incompetent to handle money and run an organization despite their good intentions.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Moshe Pogrow & co may think they are all l'shem shamayim, but even the edited version (as seen at YWN) makes it clear there is a $500 management fee per single, outside the $13,000. Call it programming expenses but man, that sure is a lot of money per recipient of l'shem shamayim attention.
IMO there was one sentence in the article that made sense, and anyone who agrees with me can take advantage without forking over $13,000 to illiterate fear-mongerers. The sentence of which I speak was apparently edited in by either YWN or 5TJT... "If it is a quality suggestion, i.e. the couple have a significant number of dates, the shadchan gets $400." Now that's an idea. It's true that shadchanus can be a thankless proposition... all that work, most often for nothing!... and such an offer might sweeten the prospect for some busy person who thinks of a decent shidduch idea.
Umm, why the surprise here? Anyone who's been reading the 5TJT for years would know this is just par for the course. The "editor" is notorious for this type of free advertising, and for generally hewing to the party line.
And for the reader who is surprised that this is happening in the Five Towns? Ummm, the 5TJT is simply a very obvious signifier of the neighborhood's new role as yet another outpost of Jewish Brooklyn.
I have to concur with the previous anonymous comment, though it is from someone else. I also know that a lot of shady deals go on in advertising and editorials that are really advertorials.
Orthonomics,
I remember showing the ad for this project to my wife about a week ago and remarking at what a waste of money it is. Kudos to you for blogging about it.
I think if shadchanim were given, as Chavi Beck said, some money just for setting up people on dates, fewer people would accept dates with people that they probably wouldn't marry anyway. At this point, if a boy is interested, a girl will often accept a date or two, even if he is not really what she is looking for. The shadchan would not waste their time on setting up dates that go nowhere but if they did spend the time, at least it would be compensated.
I'm thinking that offering $400 to a shadchan for x dates (third date, in roughly my crowd, but obviously this would vary...) is something fairly reasonable that an interested single or parent could consider doing. If you think about it, it's really only a slight tweak on the current shadchanus system. I've heard many times that the Sanzer Rav used to pay every shadchan that tried, saying that each wrong try brings the right one closer. This is not quite the same idea... but I think it would encourage people to redd shidduchim they think of rather than simply mentioning it to their spouses but doing nothing about it and then, when it happens four years later, saying, "Hey, I thought of that shidduch four years ago!" It's also a bit fairer to shadchanim. As the Nasi letter pointed out, whether you get engaged is not in the shadchan's hands. What you want is for shadchanim to redd quality shidduchim to you.
Hm... Maybe I should start a nonprofit organization and charge $500 apiece to share this concept?
Personally, I think the idea is flawed on so many levels that it isn’t even worth stating them. However, I have an alternative idea which may help “mitigate” the “shidduich crisis.”
Thought you might like this article:
http://moneyning.com/money-beliefs/5-surefire-ways-to-stop-thinking-your-paycheck-is-never-enough/
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