Children in Shul

The topic of children (which I will loosely define as children of all ages below bar/bat mitzvah who do not or cannot sit still during the part of the service that they are present for) is always a hot topic and a sensitive one at that. I've seen the subject of children in shul covered on many blogs as well as on other Jewish forums and it always evokes a lot of emotions and opinions.
Rarely do I run into a person who does not have strong feelings on the subject, whether he/she is a supporter of children coming to the synagogue or part of the opposition.

Some attendees want their service to be quiet, or at least they don't want the noise and disruption that all too often accompanies children. (We all know that many adults can be quite disruptive themselves).

Some attendees feel strongly that the Beit Knesset should be awe inspriring and children, especially young children, will not learn to internalize the yirat shomayim that should accompany a visit to the Beit Knesset if they are brought from young ages. (Unfortunately, many of us adults do not internalize this either).

Other adults (usually those that sit on the board or the financial committee) just don't want to see children running around unsupervised, since it all too often, brings a host of property damage issues. There is nothing fun about being responsible for finding the money in the budget to fix these problems, some of which can be quite costly. Of course, even if you know whose children are responsible for the damage, some argue that if you send a bill to the parents who allowed their children to run free in the first place, you risk loosing their membership for good. Those who argue this are probably right, although I still am of the persuasion that the rest of the members shouldn't have to pay for that plumbing damage, drywall damage, etc. But, what can you do?

Those who support children coming to the synagogue have their reasons too. Some want their children to be comfortable in the synagogue. They want their children to see it as their second home: a place that belongs to them.

Many mothers want the opportunity to pray with a minyan and will bring their children along too. They don't want to be cut off from the benefits that come with regular attendance at the synagogue, religious or social.

Still other mothers are just exhausted by the end of the week and want their young children out of the house so that they can get some much needed rest. So, they send all their children with their husband to shul. Oftentimes these husbands can be spotted in the hallways or kid's room, siddur in hand, trying to make their way through the tefillot and shuffling the child(ren) in and out for the repetition of the Amidah. Of course, there also seems to be a number of daveners who have the hallway davening habit engrained in them and can be seen doing so all days of the weeks, kids or no kids.

What I believe is often overlooked in the debate on the issue is SOLUTIONS that can please many, if not most people. The solutions I have listed below, I believe, give whole families (fathers, mothers, and children) the opportunity to attend the synagogue and take advantage of the benefits of doing so, while mitigating the issues that accompany children being unsupervised during tefillah.

I'd love to hear more solutions on how your family handles these issues? How your shul deals with these issues? What I'd love to hear is possible solutions to merge the positive aspects of taking kids to shul, while mitigating the negative problems associated with doing so. I think that would add a new dimension to a touchy, but important topic.

Solutions:
1. Husband goes to hashkama minyan. He gets his obligatory tefillah taken care of and returns to either take care the young children, those who will not benefit from the tefillah, while his wife goes to shul. The wife can take the children who are capable of sitting and saying some tefillot. Since she is not obliged in tefilla b'tzibur, she can remove any disrputive child(ren) immeidately.

2. Husband goes to hashkama minyan. He takes older children back to shul himself and sits with them and guides them through the tefillah. He has completed his tefillot and is free to walk out when a chil(ren) is no longer capable of maintaining the respect necessary for being in the synagoguge. The wife can get her break.

3. Wife goes to hashkama minyan. Husband watches children in the morning and switches with wife when she comes home. He is a little late for the pesukei d'zimra, but can catch up. (Chances are plenty of men are latter than he). If the parents want children to attend the service, they can walk over with the mother for the end of the main service and join in at the end for Anim Zemirot and Adon Olam, parts of Nussach Ashkenaz service that don't seem to have the same formalities as the rest of the tefillot.