Mentschlekeit in the Sukkah
My family and I were just sitting down in a restaurant sukkah to enjoy a seudah in honor of the chag when we were joined by a group of young boys, probably between the ages of ten and thirteen, who were traveling from "in town," through "out of town" on a Chol HaMoed trip.
I was a bit nervous. We had already paid for our meals. We were seated. And, we were really looking forward to enjoying a seudah in the sukkah to celebrate the chag, when a sizable group of boys whose fathers were inside ordering entered the sukkah.
Sadly enough, we've become so accustomed to less than acceptable behavior that we expected the worst, or something like that. We were gearing up for what looked like it might become a less than pleasant experience. But, the food was on the way, so there was no turning back at this point.
But, we were very pleasantly surprised!
Not only were these boys quiet and well-behaved in the sukkah, enjoying their meal and making conversation amongst themselves and their fathers who came later. But, their mentschleikeit went above and beyond what might be expected of pre-teen boys.
Shortly after the boys had joined us in the table (their fathers were still inside at this point), the wife of an older couple we know walked in the sukkah. The "in-town" and "out-of-town" crowds couldn't have looked more different. The pre-teen boys were all in black and white. Some had a few light pinstripes on their shirts, certainly nothing loud. The wife wore short sleeves and had her hair uncovered. We were holding the "middle ground:" suede kippah, hair covered with a hat, and colorful plaid shirts for the boys.
As soon our friend, the "wife" entered, the boys got up, offered her a chair, and then carried the chair over for her to sit on. And, when her husband entered the sukkah carrying the food, they brought him another chair from their table.
It was so heartwarming to see (completely unprompted) chivalrous and polite behavior from such young boys. I'm sure that their parents have a lot of nachas from them. And, G-d willing, we will all instill such mentschleikeit into our own children.
And, next time we are joined by a group of young boys, I will just try and relax and expect only the best. Why should we expect less anyways?
3 comments:
SL,
What a heartwarming story! It's rather unfortunate that a lot of us expect the worst because of what we see all around us so often, but what a blessing and sweet surprise when something like this happens!
I'll never forget being in London a couple of summers ago, trying to navigate my way through the 'tube'. I had packed for an entire summer's stay in Europe, so I had two very heavy suitcases along with a backpack to tote around. This wasn't much of a problem because the suitcases were on wheels, except when I got to a particular station that didn't have an escalator or elevator to be seen. I was struggling to drag one suitcase up a few steps, then running down to get the other one, when several young men (about 15 or 16) came walking up. I figured they'd pass by, but to my pleasant surprise they stopped and asked me if I would like some help with my stuff? I was a bit wary at first, thinking they might try to run off with my belongings, but I realized that could have just grabbed them and run so what would it hurt? So these lovely young guys grabbed my hefty cases (55 lbs & 70 lbs, respectively) and hauled them up 3 flights of stairs and all the way across the street to train station I was trying to get to! It was just so heartwarming to know that my generation is not lost, that the young people out there *do* have manners, and they are willing to help out a complete stranger when they see they are in need.
Chag Sameach, and what a beautiful story!
Hila
The "in-town" and "out-of-town" crowds couldn't have looked more different. The pre-teen boys were all in black and white. Some had a few light pinstripes on their shirts, certainly nothing loud. The wife wore short sleeves and had her hair uncovered. We were holding the "middle ground:" suede kippah, hair covered with a hat, and colorful plaid shirts for the boys......
I, too, have noticed that when it comes to getting up for ones elders, the chareidi community has our community licked. I almost never see this unsolicited chivalrous behaviour from my fellow 5 towner's children. I am amazed at this, because when I drive through Brooklyn, and stop to let another car out, the Chareidim are the first ones to honk. This being the case, the children certainly aren't learning this behaviour from thier parents, so where do they get it from?
Anon-Truly baffling.
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