A Must Read Article by Rabbi Horowitz

Below I am posting the text of an article that I received from Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, the menahel of Yeshiva Darchei Noam of Monsey. In the article below Rabbi Horowitz challenges the community about our priorities for tzedakah, and very bravely I might add.

In particular, Rabbi Horowitz takes a look at what I like to call a sexy charity that manages to attract donations for a grand celebration in Meron at the gravesight of Shimon Bar Yochai. While charitable funds for the "Chai Rotel" program are spent on providing a giant, air-conditioned tent for celebrants, a FREE Lag Ba'Omer seudah (30,000 meals served last year alone), FREE Shabbos meals, and newly constructed comfort station, as well as alcoholic beverages, our schools are treated as the "stepchild" of frum charities, undeserving of communal attention to the point where certain publications won't even dare approach the subject. Case in point, only the Jewish Press accepted paid ads on behalf of Day School Advocacy placed by Marvin Schick.

Parents and even grandparents are left to fend for themselves as community members fund moreglamorouss causes far from their own backyards while parents are left trying to find enough money after taxes and other necessary expenditures to pay massive tuitions that show no sign of decreasing in the near future. . And when parents finally break, they are denigrated to no end (check out some recent discussion at Orthomom that I will address in a future post that is purely denigrating).

The article is posted below. Please take the time to read it. We are lucky to have such a brave Rabbi in our midst.

Education Matters
By: Rabbi Yakov Horowitz
Thirteen Year-olds or Thirteen Gallons?
Recalibrating our Charity Priorities

(Sixth in a series of articles by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz on the issue of communal support for Jewish Education)

Please allow me introduce you to Yossi. Yossi is almost thirteen years old, and is in seventh grade at the local yeshiva. He was barely keeping pace in the lower grades, but when he started gemorah things began to unravel rapidly. He struggled to keep pace with his classmates for a few difficult months, but he kept falling further and further behind.

Yossi's parents divorced a few years ago. His father remarried and moved out of the vicinity. When Yossi is at his mother's house, he often davens at home on Shabbos morning. He is simply embarrassed to sit by himself in shul. During the week, his father tries to make the time to learn with him on the phone, but since he remarried; . . . well, you know how it is.

Yossi would have a decent chance at success in school if his parents could find and pay for a tutor to learn with him twice a week. But his heroic single mother is marshalling all her energy just to juggle the demands of work, her children and managing her home. Yossi's rebbi knows of a kollel fellow who could tutor him and throw him a life preserver that could save him from becoming a statistic. The tutor would cost seventy-five dollars a week. Yossi's caring rebbi went to his principal and asked him to try and find the funds to pay for the tutor. The (equally caring)principal sighed, thinking of how he was going to make payroll in three short days. He would love to help, but, . . . well, you know how it is.

Rochel or Rotel; Who Gets Your Charity Dollars?

I often think of the Yossi's (and the Rochel's) in our school system that are drowning due to the lack of funding for Jewish Education overall and for the types of intervention that could help them make it before they slide into the morass of at-risk
behaviors.

I especially thought about Yossi and Rochel a few weeks ago as I read the Machberes column in The Jewish Press describing the preparation for the upcoming Lag Ba'omer and specifically the few lines describing the "hallowed custom" to supply "Chai Rotel" of wine and drinks to visitors in Meron.

For the past few years, large ads have been running in virtually all the Jewish newspapers during the weeks of sefirah encouraging prospective donors to contribute "Chai Rotel" of drinks to visitors to Meron on Lag Ba'omer, the yahrtzeit of Reb Shimon Bar Yochai. Legend has it that some unnamed tzadik promised material benefits (yeshu'os) to those who contribute 18 "rotels" (a rotel is a liquid measure; 18 rotels equals 54 liters or about 13 gallons) of wine or drink to provide visitors to Meron with refreshment during their stay. And if the past few years are any indication, I suspect that many such ads will be presented to the readers of Jewish newspapers in the weeks ahead.

Communal A.D.D.

I am personally uncomfortable with the notion of hawking "yeshuos" in advertisements for tzedakos, and I may address this issue in a future column.

But for now, let's discuss this "Chai Rotel" charity and how it stacks up with the needs of the Yossi's and Rochel's in our communities. Sadly, Yossi is not getting our attention as much as he should. There are no glitzy ads promising "yeshuos" to people who will throw him a lifeline. In fact, if I may be so bold, I think that we suffer from communal A.D.D. (Attention Deficit Disorder), where we are finding it difficult to pay attention to the needs of the children in our own communities.

Honestly, with our rebbeim and moros grossly underpaid and our yeshivos struggling to make payroll, is providing gallons of alcoholic drinks to adults who made a conscious decision to spend Lag Baomer in Meron a pressing communal need that begs to be addressed? Aren't there more appropriate venues for our charitable funds? Allow me ask another, more piercing question. Is it appropriate for someone who is receiving a tuition scholarship to go to Meron for Lag Baomer in the first
place?

So, what will it be: Rochel's or Rotels? Thirteen-year-olds or thirteen gallons?

While you ponder these questions, the sad and confused eyes of the children who are not making it in our school system are looking to you for answers.

© 2006 Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, all rights reserved

How Rude and Insensitive:
Charging Guests for Attending the Sheva Brachot

Recently my friends were invited to a Sheva Brachot. I use the word invited liberally because the truth is that they were asked to contribute over $150 to the affair. Actually, I take that word back too. Contribute is clearly the incorrect term as contribute would indicate that the amount named was voluntary. Perhaps I should rephrase the entire sentence to read: Recently my friends were told that if they wanted to attend the Sheva Brachot for a certain chatan and kallah, that they would be charged $150 to attend.

Now, lest someone misconstrue my thoughts, I will state clearly and unequivocally that I believe that there is nothing wrong with the hosts of a Sheva Brachot to ask the guests to bring a dish or drinks to share. I have hosted Sheva Brachot and am well aware of the enormous amount of energy (and funds) that it takes to put together even a modest Sheva Brachot. Baruch Hashem, many wonderful friends put together Sheva Brachot for my husband and I when we got married and I can't think of a more appropriate way to return their kindness than to follow their example and be mesameach other chatanim and kallot.

But, this Sheva Brachot was clearly not the type of Sheva Brachot of the "average fold": A Sheva Brachot gathering that usually consists of inviting a minyan and their wives (if they are so lucky) to a private home for a seudah prepared by the host(s) or a modest seudah in a modestly priced restaurant. This Sheva Brachot was a continuation of the wedding, a Sheva Brachot for the "rich and famous."

However, I can't imagine the "rich and famous" charging their guests and entrance fee to participate in their affair. But, for whatever reason (some possibilities might including impressing the mechutanim, catering to the desires of their son, or peer pressure), this family of average means felt it necessary to "keep up with the Goldberg's" and put on quite the party, using one of the best and most expensive caterer in town, for their 21 year old chatan and his kallah.

Somehow, the very fact that "we" in the frum community find it appropriate to go beyond our means in creating the "Hollywood Wedding" followed by the "Hollywood Sheva Brachot" for "our" children who have yet to pay even their own electric or gas bill, nor even have any idea how much a monthly electric or gas bill might run, adds insult to injury.

Certainly a wedding is a milestone and an accomplishment. But, it seems very inappropriate to me to charge such an exorbitant admission prices for the Sheva Brachot of anyone, much less of couple barely out of their teenage years that plans on being spending the next few years of their life together in kollel, sacrificing the comforts purportedly being enjoyed by ba'alabatim the world over (I have yet to meet these numerous ba'alabatim).

So, if you will excuse me, I'll choose to save my $150 and look to spend it on a milestone anniversary that deserves to be rewarded with an extravagant 5 star meal which we will eat in each other's presence, rather than at separate tables. In the meantime, if you invite us to your Sheva Brachot, feel free to request I bring along a culinary creations. But, if you are looking for $150 a couple to pay for your "Hollywood Sheva Brachot," we will not be attending.

Excellent Job Advice in Pirkei Avot

One of my favorite sedarim in learning is Pirkei Avot. This last Shabbat we learned the first chapter of Pirkei Avot, and, as is true of all Torah learning, no matter how many times you learn the same material, it is never the same. There is always a new insight to be gained, a fresh perspective that can be seen, and a new level of relevance that can be found.

In the third pasuk of perek Alef, it says "Antigonus, leader of Socho, received the tradition from Shimon the Righteous. He used to say: Be not like servants who serve their master for the sake of receiving a reward; instead be like servants who serve their master not for the sake of receiving a reward. And let the awe of Heaven be upon you." (Translation from the ArtScroll Siddur).

Oftentimes, I find that advice of our sages on how to approach our relationship with Hashem, is also excellent advice on how to approach our relationships with people. Just like you wouldn't interrupt your tefillot to chat on the cell phone (ok, ok, I'm aware that there are people who do this), it would be a terrible idea to interrupt you date to chat on your cell phone (yes, I too am personally aware of occurrences such as these).

It occurred to me last year when learning Pirkei Avot that this way of approaching Hashem, was also an appropriate way to approach your job. This year while learning this portion, a memory from a previous job of mine resurfaced. My co-workers and I were gathering information from an agency that was needed for our purposes. The manager at the agency was very busy, the information was readily available, and all that was needed was for someone authorized to access the information to access it and provide us with what we needed.

Since the manager was pre-occupied, she asked an employee who was sitting around with nothing to do but file her nails, to pull the information that we needed. What ensued next was the talk amongst our co-workers that lunch (I think we were all shocked!). The lady proceeded to grill her job manager on her exact job description in her contract. Since this particular task was not in the job description, could not affect her pay, and the refusal would not get her fired, she would not lift a finger.

This employee was only willing to work for her paycheck. She had no vision of where she wanted to be, no sense of the future, and no interest in how her approach would affect her relationships with her co-workers. The project that I was working on was one of my first professional projects and has long since been completed and is probably collecting dust in a library somewhere. My copy is collecting dust right here in my own home. I'll never know what happened to this lady, but my educated guess (barring a major change in approach) is that if she is still employed at this agency (the big if), that she is still sitting in the same desk, alienated from those around her, and wondering why she never has been promoted to a higher paying position.

Well, there are certainly no earthshattering observations to be found in my personal commentary on this portion of Pirkei Avot. But, I thought that I would share it anyways since I find that attitude and willingness to go the extra mile, can serve as the keys to success and it is often important to remind ourselves and our children of that.

Hate Mail II

There is nothing more to be said, but after other wise bloggers posted their comments, I have decided to delete all vicious and inappropriate comments. Comments that are discussing and do nothing to add to the discussion will not be tolerated.

This blog exists for the purpose of discussing and examining the economic and auxiliary issues in the Orthodox community. These are issues that are closer to our hearts and pocketbooks, and I am looking to create a positive and open forum for interested readers to discuss (key word) these issues. It is not a place for ungrown men, who are incapable of having discussions, to spew their sinat chinam. There is plenty of room for disagreeing on this blog and I welcome new perspectives, insights, and ideas. But, if you cannot have a discussion about issues, I'm sure there are plenty of blogs and websites for you to visit. But, this blog is not one of them!

Thanks to my readers for their invaluable advice.

Hate Mail Upon my Return

Hello readers and friends! I'm back after a long and extended Pesach break. I wouldn't actually call some of Pesach a break, since I actually ended up having to do some unplanned, last minute, emergency work during chol ha'moed. But, I did take a break from blogging, commenting, and even reading.

Upon my return, I see that I have a new commenter (anonymous) who has left me a few hateful comments in the comments section on a number of topics. The comments are some of the most vicious and disgusting comments I've ever seen on a blog. But, since these comments are directed at me and not any of the other commentators, I'm leaving them up since it demonstrates the severe lack of character that was being addressed.

A question for fellow bloggers: Is hate mail like this common? And, what do you do when you receive such comments? Since I set up this blog as a place to have serious conversations, I don't believe that I will allow such commentary to continue in the future. But, in the meantime, I am not erasing these comments.

After Pesach I have plenty to blog about. So, please come back by to visit!

Chag Sameach and a Nice Commentary on the Four Questions

Since this will most likely be my last post before the Yom Tov, I want to take this time to wish my readers and my friends a Chag Kasher V'Sameach. Pesach is a great holiday in our family and we have been looking forward to it for a while now. Besides some of the great Pesach foods, it is really great to be around the table with all of the siblings and cousins. It is heartwarming to see their enthusiasm, hear them sing songs, and share their haggadot.

Since we have really been looking forward to Pesach, we got an early start on looking through the Haggadah. I thought it would be fun to share a Torah thought from one of our Haggadot on the Four Questions. These thoughts are so relevant to how we raise our children, and it will be nice to take this Pesach (one of the New Year's) into the rest of the year.

Rabbi Shelomo Halevy Alkabets explains that the child does not ask because he is afraid of making a mistake. He does not know how to phrase his question and lacks confidence. Therefore, the parent should try to lead him into a conversation, to encourage him, to strengthen him, to strengthen his confidence. Through the conversation, the child will have the opportunity of expressing himself. This child has understanding and knowledge, and it is the parent's responsibility to help the child express himself. (Rabbi Hayyim Yosef David Azulai, Geulat Olam.)

The child who does not even know how to ask lacks imagination and curiosity. The parent has an obligation to tell the story of the miraculous exodus, thereby stimulating the child's imagination. Even such a child can advance intellectually if he is encouraged to ask questions, to find out the meaning of things. (Rabbi Yaacov Houli, Me'am Lo'ez).

The four children are paralleled by four kinds of parents. The wise parent encourages the child to learn and to ask. The wicked parent treats religious symbolism with scorn, separating himself form the community. The naive parent does not trouble to student and learn, and has no deep knowledge of Torah and Jewish tradition. In each of these three cases, the children follow the models set by their parents.

The child who does not know how to ask is the most unfortunate child. Children are naturally curious and are always asking questions [tell me about it!]. To find a child who is unable to ask is shocking, even frightening. Such a child exists because of the domineering nature of the parent. A parent who is constantly criticizing the child, always silencing him, and frequently showing him disrespect-such a parent deprives the child of self-esteem. The child suppresses question because he is afraid, because his parent have not given him self-esteem.

The Haggadah teaches parents to reevaluate their own roles in relationship to their children, to open channels of communication. If parents and children can sit around the same table, can celebrate the festival, can discuss words of Torah-then there is hope.

Exactly How Did You Get Here?

The site meter that I use keeps a list of the keywords from searches that brought readers to my blog. Usually I know what post(s) the reader was directed to. But, on occasion, I wonder how my blog got referenced for some of these searches.

For example, a one stumbler onto Orthonomics was looking for an answer as to "why are women obligated in arba kosos?" Not only have I not looked into the question, much less actually attempted to answer the question, I'm sure that I never used the word "kosos."

Another web surfer was looking for "parties adults." My guess is that my post about drinking on Purim was not the type of Adult Party this surfer was looking for.

And, lastly, another recent stumbler on my blog was searching for "where in other parts of the world is pi used for different purposes." I might be a competent number cruncher, but I definitely haven't use the pi symbol since high school, possibly college. I have no idea what post this surfer stumbled upon. I guess my curiosity will remain. (For those that are interested in Pi, other blogs have addressed Pi in the Talmud).

Riots III: Making Restitution and Making a Cheshbon HaNefesh
(My final post on the subject)

This is the last post I will make about the Boro Park riots. I am so disturbed by the silence and even more concerned by those who justify the riots, thereby excusing the property damage (one police cruiser was severely damaged, one was completely destroyed) and uncivilized, animalistic behavior. So far we have seen one public letter from Rabbi Yacov Horowitz, a menahel from Monsey and I have heard that HaModia published a repudiation of the riots. Considering that these riots were seen the world over on national television, it should go without saying that this repudiation lacks a punch. I am sure there is a great amount of condemnation taking place in Boro Park, but the rest of the world needs to know that the parents and leaders of that community are upset too.

Also disturbing is, 1. The chutzpah of the frum politicians refocusing the discussion off the rioters and onto the police chief who supposedly made an anti-semitic remark and used vulgarity (quite honestly too, if I had a riot on my hands, I'd use some vulgarity too). 2. The blaming of a non-Jew for starting the first fire. Besides the fact that the picture circulating is obviously a photoshop job, it is downright ridiculous, if true, to blame one perpetrator for the actions of the rest of them. Do these people jump off the Brooklyn Bridge when they see someone else try? No, I didn't think so.

Now that the riots are done, what should be our reaction? Here are my ideas:

1. Arrest and Prosecution: The perpetrators should be arrested and prosecuted. I posted a comment at Beyond BT with the other ideas below, but Rabbi Horowitz felt strongly and stated that gedolim agree that the perpetrators should be prosecuted. The thought had not crossed my mind as a viable one that anyone would support. If it is a viable idea, I hope to see Rabbis letting the community know it is a viable and correct option. In my community there was some criminal action by youngsters and when I stated that they should be arrested, I was met with strong feelings the opposite way. I'm thrilled to here that prosecution is an option that Gedolim in America support.

2. Community Service Programs: Restitution must be made. The boys who set the fires and burned a police cruiser absolutely need to work off their debt to society (hopefully as part of their sentence).

The problems of property destruction are not limited to Boro Park. There seems to be a general disrespect in many communities. For example, in the school where I taught briefly, the desks were destroyed by graffiti caused by the students (there is no way to be dan l'chaf zechut when Adina, Ahuva, and Faigy are scribbled all over the desks). In my public school, if you were seen writing on the desk, you were forced to clean not only your desk, but other desks in the classroom over lunch or after school. Our school was clean and nice and beautiful. The school I taught in was a dump and was treated as a dump. My school also had a work program where disruptive students cleaned the grounds of the campus of trash. Needless to say, the program wasn't very large, by virtue of its very existence.

We need to enact common sense, tried and true policies in all of our own communal institutions to encourage better behavior: Behavior that is in conformance with halacha and the way B'nai Torah should act.

3. Cheshbon HaNefesh: I view the riots in Boro Park as a wake up call for all Orthodox Jews. We should all be doing a serious Cheshbon HaNefesh. We should all be trying to understand which underlying problems, attitudes, and behavior patterns are negative and counterproductive in our own lives and in our own communities.

Even if you or I believe that a riot could never take place in your community, this should not be a sign that everything is A-OK. This is a terrible blight on all Orthodox Jews and for it to happen before Pesach is quite devastating. We should definitely use it as a wake-up call when it precedes a holiday based around family and the chinuch family provides.

Riots II

I am still trying to settle my thoughts on the riots and have posted comments on many blogs, including Life-of-Rubin, Orthomom, and Emes Ve-Emunah, which express my believe that we need to condemn this wrong in no uncertain terms. I have responded to comments on my blog in the first post that attempt to minimize this terrible, disdainful behavior. I think there is no secret where I stand and I don't think that the possible, or even likely, wronging of an elderly man is any excuse to cause mayhem or burn a police cruiser.

Unfortunately, this riot brings out the fact that we have serious issues in our communities,* and it brings out those issues for the entire world to see. Being that this is the case, we should all be doing a serious cheshbon hanefesh and trying to pinpoint the issues, and what changes need to be made.

Please chime in. I'll add my ideas latter.

*Note: While I believe that what happened in Boro Park would not happen where I live, or in many an "out of town" community, I believe the underlying attitudes and behavior patterns that could have lead up to this behavior are present in many communities, not just the Boro Park Chassidish community.

Riots I: Disgusting Behavior, Hoodlums Riot

So, I needed to tune into the 11PM news for a story and instead I get to see and hear about a riot going on as I type in Boro Park. My evening is absolutely ruined. I don't know if the man who was pulled over for the traffic violation was in the wrong. I don't know if the police officer is in the wrong. But, I do know that this behavior is disgusting. It's animalistic. It's a chillul Hashem on a grand scale. And, I don't want to be associated with this behavior in the least.

I am so sad that I turned on the news tonight. I don't want to know about this. I don't want to think about this. Fortunately, I don't live in New York, because if I did, I would be getting an even more up close look which could send my blood pressure through the roof. Hearing some of the people in Boro Park speak to the cameras and seeing the faces of all the people out on the streets (especially teenage boys whose parents should have told to get indoors and stay indoors) has made me angry beyond words.

I've lived in a number of metropolitan areas and in each area I've lived in, I've seen riots. The behavior of rioters is the lowest of the low. And, these riots appear to be no exception. How I wish that these rioters were not my brothers.

When (and if) I gather my thoughts, I may (or may not) post more on the subject. In the meantime, I can't remember ever being so angry, so sad, and so disheartened at the same time. I am so sad that Jewish adults and Jewish children are looking out their windows at this nightmare. I am so upset that Jews and non-Jews alike are seeing this chillul Hashem which is by far worse than any other chillul Hashem of recent memory. This is a Torah community? If I didn't see the faces, I would have thought this was another Islamic riot in France!

I am so sad that this is happening a week before Pesach, in the month of Nisan, when we should be looking for renewed inspiration and looking forward to celebrating as kings and queens, princes and princesses, not rioting like a bunch of criminals.

I don't know what to say or think, and can only cry. Seeing the photos is hurting physically and spiritually.

Making a Budget Pesach

This post is probably going up too late to really make a difference this year, but I imagine that there are still plenty of people out there that haven't even thought about their cooking and possibly even their cleaning yet. So, if the post doesn't benefit everyone, hopefully it will benefit someone.

I believe that much of the expense of Pesach is self-imposed. While wine and shumra matzah for the Seder (either hand made or machine made), and the many festive yom tov and Shabbat meals will put a dent in your budget (especially if you hold by certain sect's minhagim), there are still plenty of ways to keep the dent minimal with a little planning and discipline.

My readers definitely gave me some good tips here, so I also want to take the opportunity to thank them for helping this post take form.

1. Secure the lists of acceptable Kosher L'Pesach products: While many people run straight to their grocery market's kosher l'pesach isle, there are plenty of products and even some store brands that are kosher l'pesach and you just need to know what they are. If you are looking for a good list that gives you direction, try KosherQuest. When it comes to Pesach shopping, ignorance is not bliss.

2. Keep Inventories and Start Planning Early: Esther pointed out that the best time for planning for Pesach is right after Pesach concludes. You can inventory the items that you already have, save your shopping lists, and make notes as necessary while the details of the yom tov are still fresh in your mind.

3. Plan, plan, and plan some more: JakBlack points out the importance of making detailed lists of everything you are cooking and the ingredients that you will need. You want to avoid purchasing items that look great at the time and prove to be useless. This advice can also apply to the cleaning process. I always hate to see ladies worn to the bone because they cleaned every toy and checked the pockets of every piece of clothing they own, even if the chances of wearing that down jacket in mild weather are slim to none. Sometimes it is better to just put things away in the closet with the chometz kitchenware.

4. Buy Early and Freeze: It maybe too late now, but "Rachel" is certainly correct that prices of food that are kosher year-round seem to magically increase after Purim. Buying and freezing in advance will certainly save you money, and it also spreads out the damage that can hit hard if you shop for everything in the days before Pesach.

5. Just Do Without: Every year there are more and more unique kosher l'pesach products that you don't need and aren't necessary. Just this week I saw an ad for Kosher L'Pesach Macaroni and Cheese (non-gebrochts too) for a whopping $2.99 for 8 ounces. Buying products that not only are very expensive, but are completely unnecessary is what I call the "big eyes syndrome." Avoid this syndrome. On top of the "big eyes syndrome," there seems to be another syndrome where we buy what our parents served because there is some tradition or mesorah to eat overpriced jelly candies that you may not even care for in the least. I call this syndrome the "nostalgia syndrome," and it is one to steer clear of also. Reader "Helene" is a recovering victim form the "big eyes syndrome" and now eats fresh and healthy food, see tip 6.

6. Eat Fresh, Eat Healthy: If you aren't already serving plenty of fresh, healthy dishes could be kosher l'pesach, pull out your cookbooks and find some creative ideas. On top of the fact that eating healthy dishes will leave you feeling better during and after the yom tov, these dishes won't break the bank like some of overpriced prepared Pesach dishes will (Pesach Pizza for $7.00 a pie, anyone?).

7. Think Pesach All Year Long: When you are still building up your supplies of kosher l'pesach kitchenware, it is very important to watch for bargains all year round. Shopping for these items in the last few weeks before Pesach can leave you over-stressed and over-budget. If you like to have new clothing or shoes for the yom tov, there is also no halacha that says you can't buy that nice new suit months before on clearance and save it for the yom tov. So, keep your eyes open throughout the year for good bargains so you don't find yourself paying premiums in the rush. .

8. Put away for next year: If you have enough space, make yourself a Pesach cabinet to store non-perishable products that you only use for Pesach. Why make something you don't use during the year chometzdik and have to buy again?

9. Shop for Snacks after the Sedarim: If you shop during chol ha'moed for food, the markdowns generally begin after the sedarim. So, if you just have to have that nosh, hold off for a few days and then go experience the "big eyes syndrome" and the "nostalgia syndrome."

10. Free cleaning help: Before you run out and pay the rising costs for cleaning help before Pesach, delegate age-appropriate and ability-appropriate tasks to your children and your husband. You may not get perfection, but chometz has a halachic definition and once you clarify that definition with your Local Orthodox Rabbi, the fact that the bathroom wasn't cleaned to perfection probably won't seem like the biggest tragedy since that mildew in the tiles wasn't chometz anyways.

Blog Roundup: Some Worthwhile Reading

I am an avid reader of Dr. Marvin Schick's column's on Jewish education and other communal issues. His recent article "He Who Destroys a Single Jewish Life" takes a look at the at-risk phenomenon and some of the things that feed into it. This is a "must read" for all parents, educators, and community members.

Harry Maryles has a post inspired by Dr. Schick's article where he looks at Jewish education currently and Jewish education in the past. Jewish Education: Chinuch Al Taharas HaKodseh is a worthwhile read, and

Harry Maryles also wrote a post called The Crisis in Jewish Education: Show Me the Money. He serves on a tuition and scholarship committee and is very familiar with the struggle that parents are facing. He believes that the future looks bleak and has some ideas, but like all of us who are brainstorming, he has little to hang his hat on. This too is a worthwhile read.

Orthomom posted a letter from her children's school that reminds parents to include their children in the Pesach cleaning preparations. I personally think that it is sad that in today's busy society that we need to remind parents to include their children in the preparation for Pesach. But, I'm glad to see that the reminder was there since it is very, very necessary.

The letter mentions that helping is important in building self-esteem in children. I would say that on top of self-esteem, participating in running the home builds ownership, responsibility, and character. I'm sure that as soon as Pesach is over, there will be numerous letters to (various Rebbitzens) from Bubbes spanning the globe complaining that their (entitled) children treated their home as a hotel for the holidays and used them and other siblings for free babysitting, never pitching in a helping hand.

I'd take this letters advice seriously all year round, not just Pesach, and get your children to participate in the household and take ownership in it, rather than consider their, sometimes sub-par help, as a nuisance. You don't want your kids to view your house as a hotel, complete with maid service (yours or your cleaning lady's services). It may make things harder, but you will reap the benefits later.