Shabbat Guests

Rabbi Horowitz responded this week to an inquiry about having Shabbos guests where the spouses are not in agreement. The guidelines he provided are applicable in many areas of life. But, the subject gave rise to some of our thoughts on Shabbat, guests, and family time. Baruch Hashem, this is not a subject of contention in our home, but we maintain flexibility in our approach, as our grows and family changes.

In general, we prefer to have single guests (singles, divorced, and widowed), but also enjoy having married couples on occasion. Having families with younger children tends to be a bit more challenging, but can be fun on occasion. Since we both enjoyed the hospitality that others provided us when we were single, we feel that hosting those who wouldn't have family to eat with is the best way to repay the kindness shown to us.

Sitting down for family meals is a great way to bond with each other and create proper "attachments," and Shabbat is the one time when those dinners go almost completely uninterrupted by design: no phone (although I'm thinking about turning off the ringer during weekday dinnertimes when our children are older), no appointments, no chores that have to be continued from the day. Fortunately I am home fulltime and our kids are young enough that they don't have activities or schooling that conflict with regular family dinners or with Sundays. I can only imagine just what a pleasure Shabbat meals are for families that do not enjoy regular meals together.

But even given our blessed schedule, I have still found that Shabbat is an important and unique time to bond at the table and, although we love hachnasat orchim, we have settled into a pattern of normally limiting ourselves to guests just on Friday night-although we happily make exceptions.

We have found that hosting for lunch is a bit more difficult for us. Primarily, there is more shopping and more cooking, all of which ties me down during the week. Secondarily, when the weather is beautiful, it becomes really hard to pull the kids away from the park to make it home in time get everything together in time greet our guests. When we don't have anyone expecting us home, we can be flexible about our schedules and enjoy more time letting the kids play, socialize, or whatever else. Thirdly, if lunch goes on too long, we miss out on a small window of uninterrupted time to do things that interest the kids, whether it be legos/megablocks, reading, or games. Also, one of my kids has a lot to say at the table, but gets shy when other non-family members are around. So, if we want to hear about groups, the parsha, or the songs he wants to sing, it is better done without an audience. (Baruch Hashem he loves our guests and even talks about a few of them regularly and asks if he can set up their place next to Daddy-hello to one of you :) ). And, lastly, my culinary strength is in the dinner meal.

When I was single, I had a friend with a rapidly growing family who used to tell me about her plan of attack for preparing Shabbat (something she had gleaned from a book and adopted). She would start on Monday and finish on Friday, preparing and freezing or refrigerating along the way. I thought she absolutely nuts! That was until our family grew and I discovered that trying to pull off a whole meal, from the shopping to the cooking, on Friday (even on Thursday and Friday) was going to make me absolutely nuts! So a pattern was born that serves us well. An entire week's meals are planned in advance, shopping takes place at the beginning of the week, and cooking for Shabbat takes place in stages, just as the cleaning schedule rotates. Friday is basically a relaxing day where we put together one or two small dishes just so my little helper can connect Shabbat with the preparations, but not connect Shabbat to the stress and mayhem that goes on in a lot of households.

While there are people out there that will criticize mothers who don't make Shabbat a Shabbat by doing the unthinkable and serving pasta, when a family member has spent the sick during the week or the week was just too busy week, I have been known to serve spaghetti with meat sauce, or something else that lacks the kavod we prefer to accord Shabbat. Our guests may never see spaghetti with meat sauce in front of them, but we have at least one regular guest who would probably prefer this meal over any other.

I try to remember our guest’s culinary preferences, but don't always succeed (maybe I need to maintain another list). We have our "meat and potato" guys who need potato something or other. We have our non-fish eaters, only tuna eaters, and our not too fishy eaters. We have our vegetarians. We have our guests with allergies to nuts, wheat, eggs, and spinach, and nearly everything else under the sun. Then there are the times when the meal is already cooked and a guest ends up needing a place after all is cooked and completed, and they aren’t too fond of whatever I have made, or worse yet, won't even eat it. We had one meal where the hospitality committee failed to warn us that the guests they asked us to host kept chalav yisrael and it is Shavuot! Fortunately, our guests were able to eat something.

While we have had a few difficult guests, for the most part having company is really our pleasure. We try not to invite guests that are going to clash at the table, but have had our fair share of uncomfortable instances. We usually invite only guests of one gender, but would be willing to venture out into mixed gender groups if we knew the guests would be comfortable with the prospect and that last minute cancellations wouldn't leave us on a "double date" with a guy and a girl who would prefer not to be on such. In addition, we have one guest that we will NEVER invite with a person of the opposite gender because he is liable to ask her out (even if she is 25 years younger, but that my friends is a post for another time).

Our special pleasure is celebrating smachot with a number of regular guests, and we have been fortunate to do so on a regular basis. In fact, we are currently looking forward to a very special simcha.

Guests bring a whole new dimension to the table that we don't want to miss and don't want our children to miss now, and especially in the future. We have been blessed to have survivors, Rebbeim, and other wonderful people at our table, all of whom bring their own unique perspectives, experiences, and divrei Torah to our table. When we have guests there is also a level of simcha that manifests itself in song that we cannot reproduce without guests.

We get a lot of pleasure out of both arrangements, guests and no guests, and continue to find our balance. I often wonder how certain families that are known for hosting lots and lots of guests regularly do it. But, I also wonder if some families who rarely if ever have guests get lonely. I can't imagine Shabbat without at least one guest, preferable two to three. And, I sometimes wonder if the shana rishona couples who specifically don't invite-a shita we never adhered too, despite the strong recommendation to do so-ever itch for a change of pace that guests inevitably bring.

Since we have great pleasure in both types of ways to spend Shabbat and see benefits to both, we have worked to find a balance that works for us. Hosting guests really comes with a whole myriad of dynamics that probably have never occurred to those who don’t make hosting a regular activity. We have learned through trail and error. I hope the couple in Rabbi Horowitz’s column works out a balance that is appropriate for their family.

Your thoughts?

Saving: What are your priorities?

The comments in my last post about helping children, Bar Mitzvahs, and weddings reminded me of a number of discussions I have had with friends, of the Yeshiva world, who have found themselves in a good enough position that they can start to save a little bit of money each month. Nearly every one of these young wives, if not every single one of them, has stated that now that they can save money, their goal is to save for their children's weddings. Let's just say that for me keeping quiet isn't an easy thing to do when these types of conversations take place. But, that is why I have a blog (smiley).

I commend all those who are saving, but in many ways I think it is a sad commentary that saving for a wedding is at the top of the list as a saving priority. Just like all areas of life, saving should have a rhyme and a reason, and a seder as to how to go about it and how to make it work. And, in my opinion, saving for a wedding as a first priority just doesn't make sense, much less a Bar Mitzvah.

I don't assume any of these young couples are planning to make lavish weddings, and I imagine that they are really thinking about helping to "set up" their children. Yet these families are not currently "set up" themselves. They have not bought a home, nor have they put together a savings plan for retirement (this I know from other conversations, and this is a subject of its own-so give me some time).

The following is just my opinion of how young people (singles as well as couples-it is never too early to start saving, or paying down student debt if necessary!) should start to prioritize their savings. The theme might be "make sure to take care #1" (and for crying out loud, don't trick yourself into believing your kids will take care of you just because you plan to take care of them). :

1. Emergency Fund: I have yet to discuss an emergency fund, but stuff happens and if you don't want to fall into credit card debt, it is imperative that you have a cushion set aside to weather these times. Recently I bought a new pair of glasses to use up the excess money in our Flexible Spending Account. When I returned home, I found that my husband had placed an itemized receipt from his dentist appointment totalling $300 on my desk. Good thing the money was available, because we had just exceeded the available funds in our FSA.

2. Retirement: Many employers offer matching funds if you fund your own employer sponsored retirement plan. If you don't put in the amount that entitles you to maximum matching, you are passing up your money! Unfortunately, I know many people out there who have done just that. My mantra is that almost always a place to cut back, you should do everything you can to find that place before saying no to this money.

The great news about saving for retirement (401(k) or traditional IRA) is that it reduces your tax burden in the here and now. The amount you save is tax deferred, and if you are lucky enough (we have been!) you can bring yourself into a lower tax bracket and benefit in an even greater way. If your employer doesn't offer a plan, or even if your employer does, you can still place money into a traditional IRA and take a tax deduction for that amount.

Lest you are afraid of locking up your money until you are of retirement age, fear not. You can also borrow against your retirement if need be (not always a recommended course) and I believe you can borrow for a 1st time home purchase without a penalty.

3. Down Payment Rent is forever, a home eventually becomes yours. Whether or not you should buy in an inflated market is depends on a number of factors, including how long you plan to live in the area, but I consider buying a home in a "smart" way to be a good idea on a number of levels (not all of which are financial).

When is a good time to buy? It is trite, but the sooner the better. Frum people run the risk of never being able to make that move into a home of their own if the tuition bills start coming before a mortgage is established. I've seen it. I doubt I'm alone.

Saving should not be haphazard and using vehicles like a 401(k) or a 529 (see below) works only to your benefit. Saving for #1 (yourself) doesn't preclude saving for your children. In fact it will make it easier. Saving for retirement and buying a home significantly lowers your taxes burden and puts money in your pocket (unless you get hit by the AMT. Sorry Charlie Hall).

If you want to use that money to pay for weddings or Bar Mitzvahs, at least you will have more of it. But in the Sephardi household, we are not saving for weddings or Bar Mitzvahs, at least not yet. We can't do it all, and like commentor "jdub," we would rather have a "lox and bagel" wedding than strap our children with massive amounts of student debt from college or vocational school if we can avoid it. Therefore, saving up for college (or vocational school) will come before saving for a wedding. The best wedding gift we can give our kids and future kids-in-law is the preparation to be self-supporting. (You'll thank us later!)

4. College Savings: Yet another benefit in saving through specific vehicles is the "tax shelters that they offer. A 529 plan allows savings to grow tax free and be withdrawn tax free so long as they are used to pay for qualified college (or vocational school) expenses. There are even some rewards credit cards that you can use to fund a 529, so long as you have the funds to open the plan (normally $1000, but Vanguard lets you open up a plan for only $250 during the "holiday season" through Upromise). So even if you are not as far as step 4, you still might be able to get one foot in the door. And if you haven't registered at UPromise, there is no time like the present. [Update: 8/19/08: There is a $20 annual fee on the UPromise accounts for those that live outside of Nevada. There are plans with no fee that can be bought through many states. I have this account, but might roll it over into a no fee account].

5. Saving for the kids: We put all of the little bits of money our children recieve as gifts here or there in their own young savers accounts. Here too there are some tax advantages, as children under 18 are not taxed on income below a certain amount. The disadvantage: the custodial parent(s) loose control over the money when the children turn 18. But, even with this disadvantage, there are great advantages. More discussion on this later.

There is so much to save for in life. But saving is much more effective when you use the tools at your disposal to increase savings. Saving for a wedding, probably won't help you reach that goal (assuming you still think want to do so after reading this post). Saving for retirement might actually help you near that goal. Illogical? Not to me.

Previous Budget Posts:
Budgeting Credit and Debt I
Budgeting Credit and Debt II
Budgeting Tool #1: Monthly Budget Tracking and Budget Summary
Budgets: Putting it on Paper, Defining Priorities, and Doing what it Takes

Propping up an Ailing System

Charlie Hall sent me a link to this article which describes the Israeli Chareidi system of marriage which includes a massive dowries for daughters (50-100% of an apartment, wedding costs, and possibly a small monthly stipend or "start up" costs for a young couple) which have devoured any savings that the parents might have and more often than not have put parents into enormous amounts of debts. At a certain point the spiraling debt becomes unmanageable as more and more money has been borrowed from one gemach to pay another gemach. Wolfish Musings and Harry Maryles have already offered their comments on the article, but I am entering the conversation from another angle.

I have yet to write about Israeli Orthonomic issues on this blog because I have not seen the system up close and personal. As such, I normally concentrate on the American scene. However, the particular issue of "buying chatanim," is not purely an Israeli that does not concern us. It is, or at least should be, as much an American concern too. After all, "we" are asked to support this system by door-to-door meshulachim and by the numerous letters which arrive in our mailboxes. And, we do support it at the expense of our own institutions that are oftentimes suffering tremendously. And, if the institutions aren't suffering, there are parents out there who are being crushed under the burden of tuition. As such, the Israeli Orthonomic system should be a huge concern for us.

We are supporting this system at the expense of our own institutions and we should know if we are making a sound investment, or just propping up an ailing system, delaying a near inevitable train wreck (not trying to be pessimistic or anything). I have no doubt in my mind that mass Torah learning is of great import and I have no doubt that mass Torah learning in Israel has benefited the American community at large, other European communities, as well as the entire world in the metaphysical sense. That is why I am concerned. We need to be investing in Torah, and I'm afraid that the system of "poverty by choice," combined with the expectation of massive dowries (this is not to say these couples are living high off the hog--they aren't!), and family size in the double digits, is failed economic policy that could eventually be failed spiritual policy, and as such is becoming akin to investing money into a horse and buggy factory. Building a bayit ne'eman b'yisrael is not just for something for the current generation, but is a responsibility for future generations, and therefore there must be an eye on the future.

Nearly every letter outlines the same situation. A Rabbi in America with a well known name appeals to the American community to help relieve an tremendous talmid chacham and his wife of the tremendous debt built up over the years. While there are sometimes extraordinary circumstances mentioned, nearly every time the major underlying factor of the debt mentioned is marriage debt amassed while marrying off a number of daughters, and there are still more to be married off (!). Recently, I received a letter written not by a Rabbi on behalf of a family, but by the family themselves. To me this is indicative of a worsening situation, but I haven't been on these mailing lists nearly as long as many of my readers. And, of course, there are the door-to-door meshulachim who sometimes collect for others, sometimes for themselves. And they too are often looking for dollars to buy a dirah to marry off a daughter, or are looking for help in paying their marriage debt.

One might say that all tzedakah is tzedakah. But, it remains that the best type of tzedakah is money given to help a person become self-sufficient and retain dignity (i.e. money invested for the future, not money used to pay for the past). When we give tzedakah, I think it is helpful to ask if we are "investing" in a future, or "propping up" the present or the past . I want to see Torah not just survive, but thrive, everywhere, but especially in Eretz Yisrael. And, if I am going to give my ma'aser dollars to a cause, I want to see those dollars become an investment in the future.

Unfortunately, with the Israeli system as it is (and I believe it is enormously less flexible that the American system is), I predict that after Rabbi and Mrs. X are rescued from their financial hell by the generosity of those who respond to the letters, that five years later they will have re-entered that financial hell and will be back at point A. The point I made here remains: we cannot stop the "viscous cycle of poverty" unless we invest in products that help build a better financial future.

Time will only tell the future of the current system, both in Israel and in America. Many poskim will tell you that the system is crazy but we can't deny money because this is the only way to marry off daughters in that system. But in my opinion, "tradition" is not a good enough reason to invest in the horse and buggy factory.

(On a side note: I've addressed some of the middot issues perpetrated by the American system of demanding money from mechutanim in what might have been my most popular post. Israeli Chareidim live very austere lives that we can’t even imagine for the most part, but the system is certainly are perpetrating its own middot issues as evidenced by the article. The foundation of Jewish family life is strong families characterized by ma'asim tovim-l’Torah, l’Chuppah, u’l’ma’asim tovim. Supporting strong families living in shalom is paramount. Being impractical on the financial front, while putting money at the top of the shidduch requirement list is bound to backfire. Orthomom addresses a report on the Israeli divorce rate which is rapidly increasing in religious quarters, and I have to wonder if the system is weakening marriage and family, which in turn weakens Torah. Let's hope this is not the case).

Putting Family First: An Inspiring True Story

I have a laundry list of future blog post subjects that is growing at the speed of my pile of laundry. In other words, it is growing so fast I can't keep up, especially when my days seem to be constantly devoted to laundry (may we have our own laundry machines bimhiera v'yameinu).

Despite the growing list of subjects and the growing pile of laundry, which is now hanging in our bathroom after the dryer failed me today, I had to post this inspirational story that I heard on talk radio today (make that yesterday) in the car on the way back from the bank where I picked up quarters for (no surprise here) laundry. This story should feed well into a theme I want to pick up on in the future.

But, in the meantime, I need to apologize as I cannot credit the radio talk show host properly because during the five minutes because between the grocery and bank to our home, I was unable to catch the name of the show I was listening to. If anyone also heard this, let me know the show so I can give proper credit.

The radio talk show host today was speaking about parenting role models, people he has sought out as an adult to model himself after so that he can be the best father he can be. The host talked about his own broken family and his quest as an adult to find role models. He attended a story where a top executive at American Express (?)related an experience. I'm not sure if the man who spoke at the conference was speaking in the first or third person. (Story below. Too bad I can't relate it word for word. This is the best I can do.)

The executive was in the office with his boss who was having a particularly bad day due to a certain crisis in the company. This boss was yelling and screaming about the crisis in the company and the situation was quite serious and was producing a high level of stress. During this long period of time, the executive's cell phone rang and he saw on the caller ID that his son was calling. He told his boss that his son was calling and immediately took the call. The boss was none too happy to be interrupted during an "emergency."

The family dog, who was older than all of the children, had died and the kids were torn up. The man said to his boss, "I have an important family matter to attend to" and walked away. His superior was in shock and was yelling at him the whole time, "how can you leave in the middle of this? What is so important?"

The executive got in his car and drove straight home to be with his children, during which time his boss was repeatedly calling his cell phone. He ignored the phone and turned it off as soon as he walked in the door. Once at home, he asked his children to gather in the back yard with an object that reminded them of their beloved dog and the family buried the dog and each told a story.

The executive "unplugged" for the rest of the day and evening and was out of touch with the office until the next day when he returned to work. There his boss yelled at him about what could possibly be so important in the middle of this crisis? How could he just ignore his phone calls? In turn, he asked the boss if the crisis had been
solved? The answer: no.

The executive told his boss, "you see. This crisis could wait and today is no different than yesterday. But my children needed me at that moment. Their crisis couldn't wait."

What a story! What an inspiration this executive is. Here is a man who is in the upper echelon of management in one of the largest companies in America who knew when he needed to unplug and devote his attention to his family-exclusively. I can only imagine that this father devotes undivided attention regularly, as one does not become a champion without exercising the proper muscles frequently.

I have been planning to blog about one particular intrusion into valuable family time that I find particularly bothersome. This story should serve as a good introduction to it. Hopefully I will get to that subject someday. I have two planned posts that are sitting higher up on the laundry list currently.

Tele-Solicitation Experiences

Aishel relates a recent experience. The kitzur: an organization calls and asks for a pledge. He tells them, we don't pledge over the phone and that if they want him to consider their organization they need to send him information in the mail. What happens next: an envelope with the amount of the "alleged pledge" arrives in the mail.

This has happened to us too. It is dishonest and it is highly counterproductive since any organization that does this will never receive a penny from us. I imagine that this happens because those in the call center are provided with some incentive to do such.

Here is a recent experience of my own which really got under my skin because the telemarketer stated my pledge to the person who answered my phone which is highly personal, invasive, and completely unprofessional (fortunately, the person on the other end was my mother and not the handyman, but it really doesn't matter!):

There is an organization that calls nearly every week and I have told them repeatedly that I do not pledge over the phone and that we tend to keep our money local, but if they want they can send us information about their organization through the mail.

Not once have we received information on their organization , and the conversation ends promptly. Turns out that when I was gone from the home and my mother answered another one of their calls that she was asked where my check was because I had pledged $36.00 (can't send a payment without an enevelope, but I think they really want my credit card over the phone-I wasn't born yesterday dear call center out of Brooklyn somewhere).

My mother couldn't remember the name of the organization. But, thanks to Called ID, lo and behold, I was able to determine it was the same culprit organization that calls nearly weekly.

Well, my toddler is obsessed with answering the phone, so when I see their name on the Caller ID, I let him answer the phone. Let's just say that the conversation ends quickly. I have NO interest in dealing with this organization ever again.

This method of solicitation should have been filed under the Do's and Don'ts of Solicitation as a big "Don't." Have you had these types of experiences?

A Better Way? Auctions and Raffles

I have to say, the timing is uncanny. After writing a post on the legalities, or illegalities as the case may be, of taking tax write-offs for certain types of donations, namely "tuition extras" and tickets for raffles and auctions, along comes an invitation to a gala and auction.

As everyone in the Ortho-world knows, the Chinese Auction (which is neither Chinese nor an auction) is one of the most popular fundraising formats these days, even outside of the tri-state area. More often that not, it seems that the auction is accompanied by a gala that includes hor'derves, a buffet, or dessert spread.

Oftentimes, there is a price for entrance to the gala that includes a raffle ticket, which would make the entire amount paid for entrance cease to be a donation in the eyes of the Internal Revenue Service.

It would definitely be a service to help members of the community who file their taxes by the letter of the law (and, I know plenty of people who are extremely yashar in their dealings) to maximize their write-offs. This way they can give more and have more too. Unfortunately, formats like the one presented above curtail the amount of the write-off that can be taken.

However, the invitation that I received today for a gala and auction was designed to legally allow a larger donation. Instead of including a raffle ticket with the entrance, the communal organization (not frum, btw) throwing the banquet is charging an entrance fee and is selling raffle tickets completely separately. So, the deduction allowed is simply the entrance price less the value of the buffet and dessert bar.

Naturally, charitable organizations need to maximize their dollars too. So, the question that needs to be asked before trying this type of format is:

Will our supporters gamble (defined simply as pay for a game of chance) if
we do not offer them a free ticket with their entrance to the gala?

Judging by the number of raffles and Chinese auctions that we receive solicitations to far and wide, my guess is that the answer to the question for the frum market is a resounding yes.

Your comments.

Tax deductibility Status of Certain Tzedakah

In my last post about making a year analysis of where our tzedakah funds ended up going versus our goals of where we would like them to go, I received a question that deserves a follow-up post because it represents one of many legal misconceptions and potential pitfalls when it comes to filing tax returns.

An anonymous commenter asks:

"Do you actually donate to K-12 schools or do you consider your tuition, which is tax deductible, your tzeddakah?"

As tuition is NEVER tax deductible on a Schedule A* as a "charitable contribution," I believe this commenter was asking if we donate beyond what many schools require in "donations" if your child is going to be a student in their school, which I will call "tuition extras." The short answer is yes, this is our primary charitable priority, but is basically irrelevant to the topic of this post.

Many schools divide their tuition statements up into numerous components: tuition, textbook fee, activity fee, scholarship fund, synagogue fee, script fee, and banquet fee. Some expenses are per child, others are per family. I believe, and others concur, that the schools try to lessen the blow of tuition by making some the components "charitable."

The problem is that from a legal standpoint, these tuition extras are NOT considered charitable, and as such as not tax deductible. IRS Publication 526-Charitable Contributions states:

"Tuition, or amounts you pay instead of tuition, even if you pay them for children to attend parochial schools or qualifying non-profit day care centers. You also cannot deduct any fixed amount you may be required to pay in addition to the tuition fee to enroll in a private school, even if it is designated as a "donation."

If you aren't hiring me to do your taxes, I cannot tell you what to do. But, consider yourself forewarned.

Now you might be asking: is there anything else that I might assume is deductible which isn't? (Possibly).

Common fund raising techniques in the Orthodox Jewish world include banquets, concerts, theatrical performances commonly put on by girls' schools, the very popular "Chinese Auction," and raffles. I will give my analysis of each one below.

IRS Topic 506-Contributions states: "If your contribution entitles you to merchandise, goods, or services, including admission to a charity ball, banquet, theatrical performance, or sporting event, you can deduct only the amount that exceeds the fair market value of the benefit received."

The tax deductible portion of the banquet fee is usually accounted for by the organization that hosts the banquet and, as such, is straightforward. Where the organization does not provide such documentation, an honest assessment of what the Fair Market Value (FMV) of such a meal would cost you in an equivalent setting is in order.

Admission to frum fundraising concerts and theatrical performances are more complicated, since I've rarely seen these organizations provide you with a base amount beyond which everything else is deductible. As nearly all public performances of frum Jewish Music concerts are put on by charitable organizations, it is difficult to determine what the FMV would be in the "real world." If you want to play it safe, I would consider the lowest priced ticket to be FMV and any amount paid beyond that to be charitable, unless you can find an equivalent performance to help determine value. Theatrical performances are often put on by public high school also, and therefore, I believe one could compare ticket prices and assume any additional cost is charitable.

The extremely popular "Chinese Auction," as well as raffles, are considered gambling by the IRS, and as such are not at all deductible (although if you do win and claim your winning as income, you can take your losses too). The IRS does not assign a FMV to gambling and considers whatever the consumer pays to be the FMV:

"Costs of raffles, bingo, lottery, etc. You cannot deduct as a charitable contribution amounts you pay to buy raffle or lottery or to play bingo or other games of chance."

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. But, if you are the victim of an IRS audit, you might thank me. :)

Please see: IRS Topic 506-Contributions , IRS Publication 526-Charitable Contributions.

-------------------------------------------
*Tuition for pre-school, as well as for before and after, and camps may qualify for the the Child and Dependent Care Tax Credit, subject to certain regulations and limitations. In short, one may take a tax credit which amounts to 20-35% of the for qualified child care expenses of up to $3000 for one child or $6000 for two or more children, which amounts to a credit of $600-$1050 for one child or $1200-2100 for two or more children.

Year End Tzedakah Analysis

There are different opinions about what time period tzedakah should be set aside and distributed. If I recall correctly, most poskim seem to agree that one should make their accounting from Rosh Hashanah to Rosh Hashanah, but that any consistent time period which makes sense for the giver is appropriate. Being that we itemize on our tax return, it works best to make an accounting of what we gave to tzedakah versus what we owe based on the calendar year. I assume that most Americans do the same.

Giving tzedakah seems to be a never ending challenge. At least for me, there is never ending bookkeeping involved due to various sources of income including self-employment. Then, after all is said and done, it seems that we have never given quite enough. So we resolve to do better the next year and make a transfer from one account to another in hopes of getting the right start in the "new year," often referred to as the calendar year in our household.

If we celebrate the secular New Year in any significant way (besides watching the Rose Bowl-actually, and I'm the only one who does that-which was unfortunately disappointing this year), it is by "resolving" to do better the next year and making a transfer from one account to another in hopes of getting the right start in the "New Year," which is, more often than not, referred to as the "calendar year" in our household. Hopefully, making this resolution is muttar.

This year, in addition to finalizing our regular spreadsheet of tax deductible donations, I also sorted them by "function" to see where our tzedakah money is going? I divided the functions in the following way: Community (Eruv, Mikvah, Bikur Cholim), Poor, Synagogue, Jewish Education (K-12), Jewish Education (Adult), and Israel (General).

Our goal was to give 50% of our tzedakah for the year to Jewish Education at the K-12 level, followed by giving to (mostly local) organizations that provide for the poor. We would have met our first goal, except that an unexpected amount for a different cause hit my credit card statement on 12/31/06. We did not meet our second goal, but this isn't a post to complain about supporting synagogue functions :). My analysis did show that our money was given almost exclusively locally, a goal of ours. . . . . but, possibly to a fault.

If it isn't too nosy . . . . . what are/were your goals in terms of giving? Where are your funds going, primarily? And, do you plan to make any adjustments? (We are planning to make a few).

And, for all of the record keeping readers, a Happy New Calendar Year.