Pesach Notes
Murphy's Law of Pesach must dictate that we will find chametz during our final preparations for the holiday because it is inevitable and happens every time. Even though our preparations this year are relatively easy as we are going to family for the Chag, I still managed to find that chametz while packing for Pesach. Normally when we go out of town, I let my son, who is quite capable, pack his own suitcase. But due to the sheer volume of clothing needed for the chag and then some, I decided to pack everything for everyone.
So what did I find, PlayDoh caked onto the sides and bottom of his tennis shoes which I am told is definitely chametz. So a half hour of scrubbing later with a toothbrush, he has chametz free shoes, and they look new also. But then I remembered that I forgot to throw his jacket that we planned to take along into this week's laundry (6 loads) and I am not heading back to the laundry room. So a big virtual thank you goes out to my great aunt, a"h, who bought him a light jacket right before she passed away. The thank you card I wrote her was returned in the mail shortly before she was niftar and I was planning to bring it to her after Pesach. If a person can continue to assist others in their observance from the grave, this should qualify.
Shabbat Shalom everyone and a Chag Kasher v'Sameach. When I get back I plan to tackle some heavy topics again, so be prepared for discussing tuition (particularly parts of the Jewish Observers Tuition Dilema-yes, apparently educating our children is only a dilemma while shidduchim is a crisis), teaching kids about finance, and more.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
Five More Pesach Money Saving Tips
An article appeared in the JPost the asks Israelis to 'Think twice about Pessah purchases.' While I think that a rise in spending Pesach time is expected, one has to ask what rise is reasonable. I can't say that I was particularly surprised by the study, but was taken aback by the increase in purchases of makeup for Pesach. Check out the article for yourself.
The article states "owners advertise special deals on many Pessah products but that consumers on a budget must only buy those things they need for the holiday and stay away from excesses. He also pointed out that in order to cut down on unneeded spending, consumers should try to save as many products from one year to the next instead of using something for just one week and then discarding it."
In the spirit of reducing waste and keeping to a tight budget I offer the following tips (I wish I wrote this in November. Maybe next year):
1. Invest in inexpensive tableware, bakeware, and ovenware for Pesach. Disposable plates and cookware might seem to be the cheaper route, but in the long run, they can prove to be very expensive. In my last Pesach tips write-up, I stated "think Pesach all year long." Buying home goods at the last minute is an expensive proposition. Picking them up during a door buster sale in February or August will pay off in the long run, and potentially in the short term.
In addition, if you make Pesach with family and alternate locations, it would be wise to keep an inventory of what everyone has and can bring. There is no need to buy a roasting pan for Pesach another family member can easily show up with their roasting pan.
2. Go easy on the makeup purchases. The holiday is 8 days. This year, Shabbat falls during Chol HaMo'ed. So the days that you can wear makeup are limited, assuming you do not "hold by" Shabbat makeup. I have a lipstick that I reserve only for Pesach. One can also put away samples of kosher l'pesach makeup if they want to wear more makeup rather than less.
3. Shop for new clothing and shoes for yomin tovim throughout the year at end of season sales, on clearance racks, etc. Partaking in the last minute rush will probably give you a headache and is a definite budget killer.
For the last few years I was "in between sizes" and did not want to buy new clothing. This year, I was thrilled to be back to normal quicker than expected and I was able to buy very nice and rather fashionable skirts marketed down to very, very low prices in in late December. I was able to pair one with a shirt and jacket that I already owned, the other with a new sweater I found a few weeks later on clearance. Had I waited until this week and insisted on buying something new, I'm sure I would have paid at least 3 times the price if not more.
But this tip brings me to a new discussion: Does a new outfit really need to be new from head to toe? I think not. But, a large and very frum family that I know (who incidentally was in an extreme amount of debt and in which the husband was frequently unemployed) told me that you *have* to buy new outfits and shoes (!) for everyone. It just isn't a choice, the wife told me. I should have said something, but regrettably I just sat there dumbfounded. I know that they were taught to do such and any argument from me probably would not have gone very far. If there is another opinion out there, it needs to be offered by a leader many times over.
I would love to see Rabbis address what is and what isn't proper expenditures for the Yomin Tovim based on your station in life in less vague terms. Certainly the family mentioned above should be minimizing their expenditures. But, they need permission to do so. If one where to walk through a well-to-do and/or more "black hat" frum neighborhood on Pesach (as I did last year), one could easily be left with the distinct impression that one must dress all of their children in matching and/or coordinating dresses and outfits. One also might get the impression that more than one new outfit is needed, as that appears to be standard also.
4. If you don't want to eat a perishable Pesach product after Pesach, don't buy it or split your purchase with a neighbor. If you find yourself with excess non-perishable Pesach products for which you spent a premium, store them away for next Pesach.
5. If you do your own taxes and are competent in doing so, get them done now if you haven't already. If you are filing an extension and believe you may owe taxes or may owe taxes, send in a payment with your extension. Interest and penalties may have started to accumulate as of the quarter you fell behind on payment. The quicker you can stop interest and penalties from accumulating the better. If you e-file your tax forms through a software program or through an accountant, double check to make sure that they were accepted by the IRS and your state(s). If not, you will need to send them in the old fashioned way. It would be a terrible surprise to forget to check until it is to late (April 16th or 17th depending on where you live).
Related: For those that believe your hand and handle are boleah.
An article appeared in the JPost the asks Israelis to 'Think twice about Pessah purchases.' While I think that a rise in spending Pesach time is expected, one has to ask what rise is reasonable. I can't say that I was particularly surprised by the study, but was taken aback by the increase in purchases of makeup for Pesach. Check out the article for yourself.
The article states "owners advertise special deals on many Pessah products but that consumers on a budget must only buy those things they need for the holiday and stay away from excesses. He also pointed out that in order to cut down on unneeded spending, consumers should try to save as many products from one year to the next instead of using something for just one week and then discarding it."
In the spirit of reducing waste and keeping to a tight budget I offer the following tips (I wish I wrote this in November. Maybe next year):
1. Invest in inexpensive tableware, bakeware, and ovenware for Pesach. Disposable plates and cookware might seem to be the cheaper route, but in the long run, they can prove to be very expensive. In my last Pesach tips write-up, I stated "think Pesach all year long." Buying home goods at the last minute is an expensive proposition. Picking them up during a door buster sale in February or August will pay off in the long run, and potentially in the short term.
In addition, if you make Pesach with family and alternate locations, it would be wise to keep an inventory of what everyone has and can bring. There is no need to buy a roasting pan for Pesach another family member can easily show up with their roasting pan.
2. Go easy on the makeup purchases. The holiday is 8 days. This year, Shabbat falls during Chol HaMo'ed. So the days that you can wear makeup are limited, assuming you do not "hold by" Shabbat makeup. I have a lipstick that I reserve only for Pesach. One can also put away samples of kosher l'pesach makeup if they want to wear more makeup rather than less.
3. Shop for new clothing and shoes for yomin tovim throughout the year at end of season sales, on clearance racks, etc. Partaking in the last minute rush will probably give you a headache and is a definite budget killer.
For the last few years I was "in between sizes" and did not want to buy new clothing. This year, I was thrilled to be back to normal quicker than expected and I was able to buy very nice and rather fashionable skirts marketed down to very, very low prices in in late December. I was able to pair one with a shirt and jacket that I already owned, the other with a new sweater I found a few weeks later on clearance. Had I waited until this week and insisted on buying something new, I'm sure I would have paid at least 3 times the price if not more.
But this tip brings me to a new discussion: Does a new outfit really need to be new from head to toe? I think not. But, a large and very frum family that I know (who incidentally was in an extreme amount of debt and in which the husband was frequently unemployed) told me that you *have* to buy new outfits and shoes (!) for everyone. It just isn't a choice, the wife told me. I should have said something, but regrettably I just sat there dumbfounded. I know that they were taught to do such and any argument from me probably would not have gone very far. If there is another opinion out there, it needs to be offered by a leader many times over.
I would love to see Rabbis address what is and what isn't proper expenditures for the Yomin Tovim based on your station in life in less vague terms. Certainly the family mentioned above should be minimizing their expenditures. But, they need permission to do so. If one where to walk through a well-to-do and/or more "black hat" frum neighborhood on Pesach (as I did last year), one could easily be left with the distinct impression that one must dress all of their children in matching and/or coordinating dresses and outfits. One also might get the impression that more than one new outfit is needed, as that appears to be standard also.
4. If you don't want to eat a perishable Pesach product after Pesach, don't buy it or split your purchase with a neighbor. If you find yourself with excess non-perishable Pesach products for which you spent a premium, store them away for next Pesach.
5. If you do your own taxes and are competent in doing so, get them done now if you haven't already. If you are filing an extension and believe you may owe taxes or may owe taxes, send in a payment with your extension. Interest and penalties may have started to accumulate as of the quarter you fell behind on payment. The quicker you can stop interest and penalties from accumulating the better. If you e-file your tax forms through a software program or through an accountant, double check to make sure that they were accepted by the IRS and your state(s). If not, you will need to send them in the old fashioned way. It would be a terrible surprise to forget to check until it is to late (April 16th or 17th depending on where you live).
Related: For those that believe your hand and handle are boleah.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Proliferation of Pesach Products
Every year I marvel at the number of Pesach products available for our consumption. It seems that it increases exponentially every year. Some of the products are rather ridiculous, in my opinion . Last year I saw Kosher L'Pesach Macaroni and Cheese, precooked and ready for the microwave. A few years before that it was Pesach pizza. And of course there is the Pesach pancakes and cereals. This year I spotted and $8 bottle of balsamic vinegar marinade for chicken and fish. I imagine that my average reader can remember the days when the number of special products for Pesach included a handful of different cakes, candies, macaroons, and condiments in addition to the basics.
As a non-consumer of these products (and a bit of a nerd :), I have to wonder what the profile is for the average consumer of these products. Is it people who would otherwise not keep a semblance of kashrut on Pesach? Is it the Orthodox community, or a specific subset thereof, devouring these products that appear as appetizing as the cardboard box on my table?
Assuming the average consumer of these products is Orthodox, what does it say about us as a community? Are we overworked and therefore "forced" to buy these products? Are we unable to change our children's diet for a week and therefore we end need Pesach Pizza and Cereal (don't laugh, a friend told me she had to buy the pizza because her kids could not go without pizza for that long)? Are we obsessed with novelty, even when the price is rather high?
I'd like to hear your thoughts.
Like I said above, we just don't buy these foods. We view them as unnecessary or as my husband says "It is only 8 days!" While I am not the one making Pesach this year, if I was we would be serving a meals and snacks that look a whole lot like our regular Shabbat and Yom Tov diet. For Yom Tov meals we would have some combination of salamon, vegetable soup, prasa and chicken, steamed or sauteed vegetables, and something with a potato. Dessert might be a flourless cake with a fresh fruit salad. Meals for chol hamoed might include a dairy matza lasange, tuna croquettes, pastel filled with spinach and feta, and soup. Breakfast might be matza brie or scrambled eggs. I'd have on hand sliced cheese, cottage cheese (available Kosher L'Pesach in many regular isles in your local supermarket), fresh fruits and vegetables, and cream cheese.
Last year I asked readers for tips on how they keep their Pesach under control and wrote my own list of the top 10 tips here. Please add your tips on keeping Pesach within a budget here. Based on the proliferation of products, I'm sure we could all use a reminder that being bnei horin shouldn't mean becoming a slave to Mastercard or Visa.
Every year I marvel at the number of Pesach products available for our consumption. It seems that it increases exponentially every year. Some of the products are rather ridiculous, in my opinion . Last year I saw Kosher L'Pesach Macaroni and Cheese, precooked and ready for the microwave. A few years before that it was Pesach pizza. And of course there is the Pesach pancakes and cereals. This year I spotted and $8 bottle of balsamic vinegar marinade for chicken and fish. I imagine that my average reader can remember the days when the number of special products for Pesach included a handful of different cakes, candies, macaroons, and condiments in addition to the basics.
As a non-consumer of these products (and a bit of a nerd :), I have to wonder what the profile is for the average consumer of these products. Is it people who would otherwise not keep a semblance of kashrut on Pesach? Is it the Orthodox community, or a specific subset thereof, devouring these products that appear as appetizing as the cardboard box on my table?
Assuming the average consumer of these products is Orthodox, what does it say about us as a community? Are we overworked and therefore "forced" to buy these products? Are we unable to change our children's diet for a week and therefore we end need Pesach Pizza and Cereal (don't laugh, a friend told me she had to buy the pizza because her kids could not go without pizza for that long)? Are we obsessed with novelty, even when the price is rather high?
I'd like to hear your thoughts.
Like I said above, we just don't buy these foods. We view them as unnecessary or as my husband says "It is only 8 days!" While I am not the one making Pesach this year, if I was we would be serving a meals and snacks that look a whole lot like our regular Shabbat and Yom Tov diet. For Yom Tov meals we would have some combination of salamon, vegetable soup, prasa and chicken, steamed or sauteed vegetables, and something with a potato. Dessert might be a flourless cake with a fresh fruit salad. Meals for chol hamoed might include a dairy matza lasange, tuna croquettes, pastel filled with spinach and feta, and soup. Breakfast might be matza brie or scrambled eggs. I'd have on hand sliced cheese, cottage cheese (available Kosher L'Pesach in many regular isles in your local supermarket), fresh fruits and vegetables, and cream cheese.
Last year I asked readers for tips on how they keep their Pesach under control and wrote my own list of the top 10 tips here. Please add your tips on keeping Pesach within a budget here. Based on the proliferation of products, I'm sure we could all use a reminder that being bnei horin shouldn't mean becoming a slave to Mastercard or Visa.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Prasa NOT Pasta
Short post as not only is Pesach approaching quickly, but so is the end of tax season.
So with Pesach just around the corner, I decided it was time to start seriously prepping our preschool aged son for what to expect. So far it is proving to be a humorous adventure.
Like many children, my son is fascinated by sedarim (orders/routines), but more so. He remembers every details of a routine. For example, when recounting the previous visit to a certain high rise building that we regularly visit, he names every step of the process down to the seemingly insignificant detail of how Daddy must lift him to reach the elevator button because it is "soooooo high up!" Seems like we have a "1st son" on our hands.
While he declares every holiday or event as his favorite, I'm predicting that Pesach will become the highlight of his year, just like it is the highlight of Daddy's year. He loves order and routines, and Pesach offers just that. It also offers a lineup of other things he absolutely loves: grape juice, a warm breakfast on yom tov, the opportunity to be with family, and songs, songs, and more songs. This kid loves singing and chazanut.
The only problem with the new routine is that he wants a different, more familiar, routine. This week my husband made him a "mock seder" while I got ready to go out. So after making the first kiddush of the seder, Sephardiboy stands up and tells Daddy that he forgot to sing Shalom Aleichem and Aishet Chayil. Fortunately, the idea of making kiddush twice (yes, you read that correctly) was quite thrilling to him and seemed to make up for the disappointment he had experienced earlier.
And if the routine is confusing, even more confusing is the concept of Chometz. When I first starting teaching the concept, I had asked him what foods he thought were chometz. What did he list first after bread? Drumroll please. . . . . . . . rice. I quickly made a mental note that I will have to introduce the subject of kitniyot before a future Rebbe introduces it in school since our approach is more nuanced. But, it is too early to introduce the concept now.
At this point my son has catagorized an entire list of food as either chometz or not chometz, and rice is no longer in the chometz list. He knows he will not be having his favorite food (pasta) for Pesach "because Pasta is Chometz."
So yesterday, he overheard me and Savta discussing the Pesach menu. I asked how much Prasa (A meat patty made with prasa, ladino for leeks) we will be making and in runs our little tzadik screaming "But, pasta is chometz. We do NOT eat chometz on Pesach." I respond, "PraSA, not PasTa."
So far I am 0 and 2 in teaching about Pesach.
Short post as not only is Pesach approaching quickly, but so is the end of tax season.
So with Pesach just around the corner, I decided it was time to start seriously prepping our preschool aged son for what to expect. So far it is proving to be a humorous adventure.
Like many children, my son is fascinated by sedarim (orders/routines), but more so. He remembers every details of a routine. For example, when recounting the previous visit to a certain high rise building that we regularly visit, he names every step of the process down to the seemingly insignificant detail of how Daddy must lift him to reach the elevator button because it is "soooooo high up!" Seems like we have a "1st son" on our hands.
While he declares every holiday or event as his favorite, I'm predicting that Pesach will become the highlight of his year, just like it is the highlight of Daddy's year. He loves order and routines, and Pesach offers just that. It also offers a lineup of other things he absolutely loves: grape juice, a warm breakfast on yom tov, the opportunity to be with family, and songs, songs, and more songs. This kid loves singing and chazanut.
The only problem with the new routine is that he wants a different, more familiar, routine. This week my husband made him a "mock seder" while I got ready to go out. So after making the first kiddush of the seder, Sephardiboy stands up and tells Daddy that he forgot to sing Shalom Aleichem and Aishet Chayil. Fortunately, the idea of making kiddush twice (yes, you read that correctly) was quite thrilling to him and seemed to make up for the disappointment he had experienced earlier.
And if the routine is confusing, even more confusing is the concept of Chometz. When I first starting teaching the concept, I had asked him what foods he thought were chometz. What did he list first after bread? Drumroll please. . . . . . . . rice. I quickly made a mental note that I will have to introduce the subject of kitniyot before a future Rebbe introduces it in school since our approach is more nuanced. But, it is too early to introduce the concept now.
At this point my son has catagorized an entire list of food as either chometz or not chometz, and rice is no longer in the chometz list. He knows he will not be having his favorite food (pasta) for Pesach "because Pasta is Chometz."
So yesterday, he overheard me and Savta discussing the Pesach menu. I asked how much Prasa (A meat patty made with prasa, ladino for leeks) we will be making and in runs our little tzadik screaming "But, pasta is chometz. We do NOT eat chometz on Pesach." I respond, "PraSA, not PasTa."
So far I am 0 and 2 in teaching about Pesach.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Budgeting Tool #3: Asset and Liability Tracker
The third and final tool I will be presenting in regards to Budgets is the Asset and Liability Tracker. This tool allows the users to see developing trends in their financial situation. They may see their assets growing, the may see stagnancy, they may see debts increasing, they may see their debts decreasing, or any combination of the above. This tool is a fantastic motivator!
A simple way to organize this tracker is using a computer spreadsheet. You can track your assets monthly or quarterly. Monthly tracking is important for anyone applying for a loan as you will need to have your assets and debts at your fingertips. I also recommend it for anyone trying to quickly build assets or eliminate debts.
Those who are not working towards a very, very immediate goal will find quarterly tracking helpful. Keeping track quarterly will help you remember to look at any brokerage statements and will help keep you on track tax wise, as you might find yourself needing to pay estimated when times are good.
The assets on your spreadsheet can be listed in their order of liquidity and subtotalled and finally totalled, much like a corporate financial statement. Checking Accounts come first, followed by Savings Accounts, Mutual Funds and/or Stocks and Bonds, 529 College Savings Accounts, and Retirement Accounts.
The liabilities can be listed in many ways. I would recommend listing them in the order you plan to pay them off (usually determined by the annual interest rate): normally credit cards, student loans, auto loans, and home equity lines of credit, and mortgages.
Like I said above this tool is a fantastic motivator. While Tool #1: The Budget allows you to see trends developing as you attempt to cut costs, Tool #3: The Asset and Liability Tracker lets you see the big picture. It lets you really experience the "8th Wonder of the World: Compounding Interest. Hopefully the compounding is working in your favor. :)
Previous Budget Posts: Budgeting Label
Tool #1
Tool #2
The third and final tool I will be presenting in regards to Budgets is the Asset and Liability Tracker. This tool allows the users to see developing trends in their financial situation. They may see their assets growing, the may see stagnancy, they may see debts increasing, they may see their debts decreasing, or any combination of the above. This tool is a fantastic motivator!
A simple way to organize this tracker is using a computer spreadsheet. You can track your assets monthly or quarterly. Monthly tracking is important for anyone applying for a loan as you will need to have your assets and debts at your fingertips. I also recommend it for anyone trying to quickly build assets or eliminate debts.
Those who are not working towards a very, very immediate goal will find quarterly tracking helpful. Keeping track quarterly will help you remember to look at any brokerage statements and will help keep you on track tax wise, as you might find yourself needing to pay estimated when times are good.
The assets on your spreadsheet can be listed in their order of liquidity and subtotalled and finally totalled, much like a corporate financial statement. Checking Accounts come first, followed by Savings Accounts, Mutual Funds and/or Stocks and Bonds, 529 College Savings Accounts, and Retirement Accounts.
The liabilities can be listed in many ways. I would recommend listing them in the order you plan to pay them off (usually determined by the annual interest rate): normally credit cards, student loans, auto loans, and home equity lines of credit, and mortgages.
Like I said above this tool is a fantastic motivator. While Tool #1: The Budget allows you to see trends developing as you attempt to cut costs, Tool #3: The Asset and Liability Tracker lets you see the big picture. It lets you really experience the "8th Wonder of the World: Compounding Interest. Hopefully the compounding is working in your favor. :)
Previous Budget Posts: Budgeting Label
Tool #1
Tool #2
Friday, March 09, 2007
Alav HaShalom: Ode to a Credit Card
(Note: See other posts below. I'm actually catching up on this Blogging Thing).
What a sad day today is. We just received notice from one of our credit cards (Card 1) that they are decreasing our cash back rewards significantly as of mid-April. For the past year and a half we have been earning 5% cash back on all purchases in supermarkets, drugstores, and gas stations. Being that we have another credit card (Card 2), which is now unavailable to everyone except current card holders, that offers 2% rewards which are put directly into a 529 College Savings Account, we have carefully used each card to its greatest potential and only used Card 1 only when it offered 5% cashback and used Card 2 for everything else. Never have we paid an annual fee or a penny of interest.
But as it has been said, all good things must come to an end and that day is coming soon with Card 1. No longer will money grow on trees, or in grocery stores, supermarkets, and gas stations as the case might be.
G-d willing Card 2 will not decide to send us packing since they offer a very generous rewards program that is probably the ticket to Beit Midrash/Seminary and University for our children, as I don't see how we can fully fund Day School/Yeshiva tuition and a College Savings Account simultaneously.
The upside: I won't have to remind my husband which card to use when he purchases something. We will only be using one card as of mid-April. Since we are meeting our bills, unless there is a large discrepancy in "pay" my motto is money for later is better than money for today, so long as you don't desperately need the money for today.
(Note: See other posts below. I'm actually catching up on this Blogging Thing).
What a sad day today is. We just received notice from one of our credit cards (Card 1) that they are decreasing our cash back rewards significantly as of mid-April. For the past year and a half we have been earning 5% cash back on all purchases in supermarkets, drugstores, and gas stations. Being that we have another credit card (Card 2), which is now unavailable to everyone except current card holders, that offers 2% rewards which are put directly into a 529 College Savings Account, we have carefully used each card to its greatest potential and only used Card 1 only when it offered 5% cashback and used Card 2 for everything else. Never have we paid an annual fee or a penny of interest.
But as it has been said, all good things must come to an end and that day is coming soon with Card 1. No longer will money grow on trees, or in grocery stores, supermarkets, and gas stations as the case might be.
G-d willing Card 2 will not decide to send us packing since they offer a very generous rewards program that is probably the ticket to Beit Midrash/Seminary and University for our children, as I don't see how we can fully fund Day School/Yeshiva tuition and a College Savings Account simultaneously.
The upside: I won't have to remind my husband which card to use when he purchases something. We will only be using one card as of mid-April. Since we are meeting our bills, unless there is a large discrepancy in "pay" my motto is money for later is better than money for today, so long as you don't desperately need the money for today.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Gashmius NOT on Parade:
A Leader Sets the Tone
Hat Tip: Ari Kingsberg
"Thrift' is buzzword at Ger grandson's wedding" is a recent article that Haaretz ran and it is nothing short of a good news in my opinion. Much ink has been spilled about materialism in the frum world and nowhere is the level of materialism so on display than at weddings. From the protocol of dating, to the expected engagement "gifts," to the accompanying l'chaims/vorts (plural), aufruf/Shabbat Chatan, Shabbos Kallah/Henna, Sheva Brachot, and the wedding itself, the average family is spending a hefty sum. And, for many parents, the wedding is only the beginning of the cash outlay.
Unfortunately the efforts of the Agudah via the "Simcha Guidelines" to reign in weddings expenses on a mass scale have proven to be a failed experiment. And it is really no surprise that the takana has proven unsuccessful on a large scale: There were "loopholes" built into the takana allowing the signers to continue to attend affairs that did not conform should they feel obligated to do so, and the signers are seen at many of the affairs rendering the well-intentioned takana somewhat of a joke. And it is a real shame, because general acceptance of this takana would set a different tone that would benefit the community on so many levels.
In contrast, Chasidei Gur has managed to gain control over their followers through action, although they have long had their own takanot that are more largely adhered to limiting the size of weddings. "Do as I say, not as a I do" is bound to fail, as we all have learned that "actions speak louder than words."
As Haaretz reports: "This wedding was a chance to transmit one message, albeit without words: Cut costs for the weddings of your children and grandchildren." The Rebbe set a tight budget, and while the Rebbe invited all to the chuppah, he limited the seudah to "only a few hundred. . . . while the rest made do with light refreshments. Spokesmen for the Hasidic sect said the rebbe had set new norms that were meant as an example for his followers."
An example it certainly is. And I believe, hopefully not naively so, that if Rabbonim and the "Well to Do" in each community regularly set similar examples the community at large would bring down its standards which are clearly out of control. May the time come speedily in our days.
Related: See my post on Wedding Costs and all the great comments (!) and other posts with the label Weddings. (I'm working on my labelling. It is a long arduous process).
A Leader Sets the Tone
Hat Tip: Ari Kingsberg
"Thrift' is buzzword at Ger grandson's wedding" is a recent article that Haaretz ran and it is nothing short of a good news in my opinion. Much ink has been spilled about materialism in the frum world and nowhere is the level of materialism so on display than at weddings. From the protocol of dating, to the expected engagement "gifts," to the accompanying l'chaims/vorts (plural), aufruf/Shabbat Chatan, Shabbos Kallah/Henna, Sheva Brachot, and the wedding itself, the average family is spending a hefty sum. And, for many parents, the wedding is only the beginning of the cash outlay.
Unfortunately the efforts of the Agudah via the "Simcha Guidelines" to reign in weddings expenses on a mass scale have proven to be a failed experiment. And it is really no surprise that the takana has proven unsuccessful on a large scale: There were "loopholes" built into the takana allowing the signers to continue to attend affairs that did not conform should they feel obligated to do so, and the signers are seen at many of the affairs rendering the well-intentioned takana somewhat of a joke. And it is a real shame, because general acceptance of this takana would set a different tone that would benefit the community on so many levels.
In contrast, Chasidei Gur has managed to gain control over their followers through action, although they have long had their own takanot that are more largely adhered to limiting the size of weddings. "Do as I say, not as a I do" is bound to fail, as we all have learned that "actions speak louder than words."
As Haaretz reports: "This wedding was a chance to transmit one message, albeit without words: Cut costs for the weddings of your children and grandchildren." The Rebbe set a tight budget, and while the Rebbe invited all to the chuppah, he limited the seudah to "only a few hundred. . . . while the rest made do with light refreshments. Spokesmen for the Hasidic sect said the rebbe had set new norms that were meant as an example for his followers."
An example it certainly is. And I believe, hopefully not naively so, that if Rabbonim and the "Well to Do" in each community regularly set similar examples the community at large would bring down its standards which are clearly out of control. May the time come speedily in our days.
Related: See my post on Wedding Costs and all the great comments (!) and other posts with the label Weddings. (I'm working on my labelling. It is a long arduous process).
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Sexual Abuse and Bankruptcy
I need to once again thank a "blog correspondent" who sent me the following story. My blog correspondent reports that the Catholic Church is collapsing under the weight of numerous lawsuits from their sexual abuse scandal as the 5th and largest Diocese filed for bankruptcy at the end of February.
You are probably wondering what exactly is "Orthonomic" about the Catholic Church? As my reader writes to me via email, "Until a major shul, yeshiva or mosdos is bankrupted, the Jewish community will keep pushing matters under the rug and hope it all goes away, be the rabbinic impropriety sexual, tax, criminal, interfering in civil divorce process, or other. To quote the former archbishop of Boston a full two years into their sex scandal, "the litigation is all for show; no one will actually bankrupt the church". Boston turned out to be the first archdiocese bankrupted."
Much blog ink has been spilled about sexual abuse and the horrors and spiritual damage that it reeks. Little that I can recall has been spilled about the impending trials and the financial damage they are sure to wreak. I do *not* wish financial problems on the frum community in the least. We have plenty of problems without inviting additional problems. But, despite the great publicity of these cases, we still have not heard much from leadership about prevention, protection, etc. I'm waiting and fear I will be waiting a long time.
Read on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
San Diego diocese files Chapter 11
By ALLISON HOFFMAN, Associated Press Writer
The Roman Catholic Diocese of San Diego filed for bankruptcy protection late Tuesday to put off going to trial in more than 140 civil lawsuits alleging sexual abuse by priests.
The petition was lodged with the federal bankruptcy court in San Diego at 11:55 p.m., just hours before the first trial was scheduled to go forward in a San Diego courtroom. A Chapter 11 filing automatically halts court proceedings.
San Diego is the fifth U.S. diocese to file for bankruptcy protection under the shadow of sex abuse claims. With nearly 1 million parishioners, it is also the largest.
In a letter posted on the diocese's Web site earlier in the day, Bishop Robert Brom wrote that the diocese had "decided against litigating our cases because of the length of time the process could take and, more importantly, because early trial judgments in favor of some victims could so deplete diocesan and insurance resources that there would be nothing left for other victims."
Brom said in his letter that the diocese would disclose the names of accused priests who officials are certain participated in abuse, and "we will verify that no known abuser is functioning in ministry."
Diocese officials and plaintiffs' attorneys failed to reach a settlement during two days of negotiations, wrapped up Monday, in Los Angeles Superior Court.
The diocese called plaintiffs' attorneys Tuesday morning to make a "final and best" settlement offer, said Micheal Webb, attorney for the diocese. He declined to specify how much the church had offered but said it was higher than total settlements reached in other U.S. dioceses. "When they rejected it, we were left with no choice," Webb said.
The lead plaintiffs' attorney, Ray Boucher, disputed Webb's characterization of the offer and described it as an "ultimatum." He said Webb had not provided sufficient financial information to allow plaintiffs' attorneys to determine whether the offer was reasonable.
Boucher claimed the diocese was planning to file for bankruptcy protection even if the offer were accepted. "If it was really a settlement to help the diocese avoid bankruptcy that would be one thing but that's not what this was," Boucher said. "From the diocese standpoint it was a pure business decision."
Other attorneys for the plaintiffs said the total amount the church had offered was insufficient because San Diego has more plaintiffs than other jurisdictions.
"It's meaningless," said attorney Andrea Leavitt.
They also accused the church of using bankruptcy as a way to keep potentially embarrassing information under wraps. By delaying civil trials, the filing prevents diocese officials from being confronted in court with potentially embarrassing facts, missteps or documents related to past handling of abusive priests.
A trial prompted by a woman's accusations that a priest forced her to have sex in his parish office 1972, when she was 17, was scheduled to begin Wednesday. Three other trials were scheduled to follow, involving multiple victims and allegations that the diocese protected abusive priests by moving them from parish to parish.
Plaintiffs with cases already released for trial may appeal for permission to let those trials move ahead."
The diocese called plaintiffs' attorneys Tuesday morning to make a "final and best" settlement offer, said Micheal Webb, attorney for the diocese. He declined to specify how much the church had offered but said it was higher than total settlements reached in other U.S. dioceses.
"When they rejected it, we were left with no choice," Webb said.
The lead plaintiffs' attorney, Ray Boucher, disputed Webb's characterization of the offer and described it as an "ultimatum."
He said Webb had not provided sufficient financial information to allow plaintiffs' attorneys to determine whether the offer was reasonable. Boucher claimed the diocese was planning to file for bankruptcy protection even if the offer were accepted.
"If it was really a settlement to help the diocese avoid bankruptcy that would be one thing but that's not what this was," Boucher said. "From the diocese standpoint it was a pure business decision."
Other attorneys for the plaintiffs said the total amount the church had offered was insufficient because San Diego has more plaintiffs than other jurisdictions.
"It's meaningless," said attorney Andrea Leavitt.
They also accused the church of using bankruptcy as a way to keep potentially embarrassing information under wraps. By delaying civil trials, the filing prevents diocese officials from being confronted in court with potentially embarrassing facts, missteps or documents related to past handling of abusive priests.
A trial prompted by a woman's accusations that a priest forced her to have sex in his parish office 1972, when she was 17, was scheduled to begin Wednesday. Three other trials were scheduled to follow, involving multiple victims and allegations that the diocese protected abusive priests by moving them from parish to parish.
Plaintiffs with cases already released for trial may appeal for permission to let those trials move ahead.
David Clohessy, national director of the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, or
SNAP, told reporters outside St. Joseph's Cathedral in downtown San Diego that he and his local staff had been fielding calls throughout the day from victims, some in tears, asking about the bankruptcy.
"In all of these dioceses, the bishops claim that it's for the victims, but it's not. It's for their own self-preservation," said Clohessy.
Diocese officials announced this month in a letter distributed to parishioners that they were contemplating bankruptcy to put off going to trial. The diocese retained an Arizona bankruptcy attorney who guided the Tucson diocese through its filing, and Brom discussed the matter with diocese priests at a regular pre-Lent meeting Feb. 19 in San Diego.
The diocese, which covers San Diego and Imperial counties, has 98 churches and runs 50 schools.
In addition to Tucson and San Diego, the dioceses that have filed for bankruptcy were Portland, Ore., Spokane, Wash., and Davenport, Iowa. Tucson has emerged from bankruptcy, while proposed settlements in Spokane and Portland are awaiting final approval. Portland had been the largest diocese to file for bankruptcy, with nearly 400,000 Catholics, according to its Web site. The Iowa diocese filed for bankruptcy just days before the civil trial of a retired bishop from a neighboring diocese was set to begin. Fifteen plaintiffs had come forward alleging abuse.
Associated Press Religion Writer Rachel Zoll in New York contributed to this report
I need to once again thank a "blog correspondent" who sent me the following story. My blog correspondent reports that the Catholic Church is collapsing under the weight of numerous lawsuits from their sexual abuse scandal as the 5th and largest Diocese filed for bankruptcy at the end of February.
You are probably wondering what exactly is "Orthonomic" about the Catholic Church? As my reader writes to me via email, "Until a major shul, yeshiva or mosdos is bankrupted, the Jewish community will keep pushing matters under the rug and hope it all goes away, be the rabbinic impropriety sexual, tax, criminal, interfering in civil divorce process, or other. To quote the former archbishop of Boston a full two years into their sex scandal, "the litigation is all for show; no one will actually bankrupt the church". Boston turned out to be the first archdiocese bankrupted."
Much blog ink has been spilled about sexual abuse and the horrors and spiritual damage that it reeks. Little that I can recall has been spilled about the impending trials and the financial damage they are sure to wreak. I do *not* wish financial problems on the frum community in the least. We have plenty of problems without inviting additional problems. But, despite the great publicity of these cases, we still have not heard much from leadership about prevention, protection, etc. I'm waiting and fear I will be waiting a long time.
Read on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
San Diego diocese files Chapter 11
By ALLISON HOFFMAN, Associated Press Writer
The Roman Catholic Diocese of San Diego filed for bankruptcy protection late Tuesday to put off going to trial in more than 140 civil lawsuits alleging sexual abuse by priests.
The petition was lodged with the federal bankruptcy court in San Diego at 11:55 p.m., just hours before the first trial was scheduled to go forward in a San Diego courtroom. A Chapter 11 filing automatically halts court proceedings.
San Diego is the fifth U.S. diocese to file for bankruptcy protection under the shadow of sex abuse claims. With nearly 1 million parishioners, it is also the largest.
In a letter posted on the diocese's Web site earlier in the day, Bishop Robert Brom wrote that the diocese had "decided against litigating our cases because of the length of time the process could take and, more importantly, because early trial judgments in favor of some victims could so deplete diocesan and insurance resources that there would be nothing left for other victims."
Brom said in his letter that the diocese would disclose the names of accused priests who officials are certain participated in abuse, and "we will verify that no known abuser is functioning in ministry."
Diocese officials and plaintiffs' attorneys failed to reach a settlement during two days of negotiations, wrapped up Monday, in Los Angeles Superior Court.
The diocese called plaintiffs' attorneys Tuesday morning to make a "final and best" settlement offer, said Micheal Webb, attorney for the diocese. He declined to specify how much the church had offered but said it was higher than total settlements reached in other U.S. dioceses. "When they rejected it, we were left with no choice," Webb said.
The lead plaintiffs' attorney, Ray Boucher, disputed Webb's characterization of the offer and described it as an "ultimatum." He said Webb had not provided sufficient financial information to allow plaintiffs' attorneys to determine whether the offer was reasonable.
Boucher claimed the diocese was planning to file for bankruptcy protection even if the offer were accepted. "If it was really a settlement to help the diocese avoid bankruptcy that would be one thing but that's not what this was," Boucher said. "From the diocese standpoint it was a pure business decision."
Other attorneys for the plaintiffs said the total amount the church had offered was insufficient because San Diego has more plaintiffs than other jurisdictions.
"It's meaningless," said attorney Andrea Leavitt.
They also accused the church of using bankruptcy as a way to keep potentially embarrassing information under wraps. By delaying civil trials, the filing prevents diocese officials from being confronted in court with potentially embarrassing facts, missteps or documents related to past handling of abusive priests.
A trial prompted by a woman's accusations that a priest forced her to have sex in his parish office 1972, when she was 17, was scheduled to begin Wednesday. Three other trials were scheduled to follow, involving multiple victims and allegations that the diocese protected abusive priests by moving them from parish to parish.
Plaintiffs with cases already released for trial may appeal for permission to let those trials move ahead."
The diocese called plaintiffs' attorneys Tuesday morning to make a "final and best" settlement offer, said Micheal Webb, attorney for the diocese. He declined to specify how much the church had offered but said it was higher than total settlements reached in other U.S. dioceses.
"When they rejected it, we were left with no choice," Webb said.
The lead plaintiffs' attorney, Ray Boucher, disputed Webb's characterization of the offer and described it as an "ultimatum."
He said Webb had not provided sufficient financial information to allow plaintiffs' attorneys to determine whether the offer was reasonable. Boucher claimed the diocese was planning to file for bankruptcy protection even if the offer were accepted.
"If it was really a settlement to help the diocese avoid bankruptcy that would be one thing but that's not what this was," Boucher said. "From the diocese standpoint it was a pure business decision."
Other attorneys for the plaintiffs said the total amount the church had offered was insufficient because San Diego has more plaintiffs than other jurisdictions.
"It's meaningless," said attorney Andrea Leavitt.
They also accused the church of using bankruptcy as a way to keep potentially embarrassing information under wraps. By delaying civil trials, the filing prevents diocese officials from being confronted in court with potentially embarrassing facts, missteps or documents related to past handling of abusive priests.
A trial prompted by a woman's accusations that a priest forced her to have sex in his parish office 1972, when she was 17, was scheduled to begin Wednesday. Three other trials were scheduled to follow, involving multiple victims and allegations that the diocese protected abusive priests by moving them from parish to parish.
Plaintiffs with cases already released for trial may appeal for permission to let those trials move ahead.
David Clohessy, national director of the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, or
SNAP, told reporters outside St. Joseph's Cathedral in downtown San Diego that he and his local staff had been fielding calls throughout the day from victims, some in tears, asking about the bankruptcy.
"In all of these dioceses, the bishops claim that it's for the victims, but it's not. It's for their own self-preservation," said Clohessy.
Diocese officials announced this month in a letter distributed to parishioners that they were contemplating bankruptcy to put off going to trial. The diocese retained an Arizona bankruptcy attorney who guided the Tucson diocese through its filing, and Brom discussed the matter with diocese priests at a regular pre-Lent meeting Feb. 19 in San Diego.
The diocese, which covers San Diego and Imperial counties, has 98 churches and runs 50 schools.
In addition to Tucson and San Diego, the dioceses that have filed for bankruptcy were Portland, Ore., Spokane, Wash., and Davenport, Iowa. Tucson has emerged from bankruptcy, while proposed settlements in Spokane and Portland are awaiting final approval. Portland had been the largest diocese to file for bankruptcy, with nearly 400,000 Catholics, according to its Web site. The Iowa diocese filed for bankruptcy just days before the civil trial of a retired bishop from a neighboring diocese was set to begin. Fifteen plaintiffs had come forward alleging abuse.
Associated Press Religion Writer Rachel Zoll in New York contributed to this report
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Purim Wrap-Up
This year our Purim was fantastic. But the aftermath was even better (no hangovers in our family!) and provided me with a fantastic reminder of just how important it is to go beyond when performing a mitzvah.
As I mentioned in my previous post, we don't go all out on Mishloach Manot packages. In short our packages are rather tiny. Sometimes I feel bad receiving sizable packages when I know I've given only a quarter of what we have received if that. But, I prefer to do the baking myself and have my kids be a part of the effort in a tangible way (sorry, more shopping just isn't tangible. . . we already spend more than our fair share of time in grocery stores).
For the past few years my husband has asked me to take it easy and just do the minimum (2 packages) and send out cards. I think the cards are excellent (especially if I don't have to mail them), but I just haven't jumped on this boat yet despite the many benefits. Somehow making the packages, however minimal, makes Purim into Purim and I can't stop at the minimum because once I make for this person, I feel the need to make for that person.
Of course, when deciding who to make for we have to set limits or we will spend our entire day delivering packages which is frustrating and grueling. Therefore, we tend to limit ourselves to one small geographical area that is easy to hit in one small trip and we like to keep a number of extras on hand for those that are kind enough to stop by and see us.
This year we were headed out for the seudah and limited our geographical area severely. However, there are two old men (a bachelor of 80 and a widow of nearing 90) that we felt should be included despite our time constraints and we made an extra trip, albeit brief and albeit not far at all, to drop them mishloach manot. Since we hit the earliest minyanim, they were not home and we dropped the packages on their front doorstep.
On Monday, both men called to thank us for the packages and the thoughtfulness. The first left a message telling me he hadn't received any homemade hamentashen and just how delicious it was (for me there couldn't be a bigger compliment). The second was happy that we remembered him and was sad that he wasn't home when we came by. Baruch Hashem we did not cut our list even shorter despite the cold weather and the time constraints. I am constantly being reminded that there are people in every community who need to be remembered and who need simple acts of chessed.
Up next, a ton of Orthonomic topics that will hopefully interest you.
This year our Purim was fantastic. But the aftermath was even better (no hangovers in our family!) and provided me with a fantastic reminder of just how important it is to go beyond when performing a mitzvah.
As I mentioned in my previous post, we don't go all out on Mishloach Manot packages. In short our packages are rather tiny. Sometimes I feel bad receiving sizable packages when I know I've given only a quarter of what we have received if that. But, I prefer to do the baking myself and have my kids be a part of the effort in a tangible way (sorry, more shopping just isn't tangible. . . we already spend more than our fair share of time in grocery stores).
For the past few years my husband has asked me to take it easy and just do the minimum (2 packages) and send out cards. I think the cards are excellent (especially if I don't have to mail them), but I just haven't jumped on this boat yet despite the many benefits. Somehow making the packages, however minimal, makes Purim into Purim and I can't stop at the minimum because once I make for this person, I feel the need to make for that person.
Of course, when deciding who to make for we have to set limits or we will spend our entire day delivering packages which is frustrating and grueling. Therefore, we tend to limit ourselves to one small geographical area that is easy to hit in one small trip and we like to keep a number of extras on hand for those that are kind enough to stop by and see us.
This year we were headed out for the seudah and limited our geographical area severely. However, there are two old men (a bachelor of 80 and a widow of nearing 90) that we felt should be included despite our time constraints and we made an extra trip, albeit brief and albeit not far at all, to drop them mishloach manot. Since we hit the earliest minyanim, they were not home and we dropped the packages on their front doorstep.
On Monday, both men called to thank us for the packages and the thoughtfulness. The first left a message telling me he hadn't received any homemade hamentashen and just how delicious it was (for me there couldn't be a bigger compliment). The second was happy that we remembered him and was sad that he wasn't home when we came by. Baruch Hashem we did not cut our list even shorter despite the cold weather and the time constraints. I am constantly being reminded that there are people in every community who need to be remembered and who need simple acts of chessed.
Up next, a ton of Orthonomic topics that will hopefully interest you.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Purim Sameach
Since the Orthonomic posts relating to Purim have been covered (see MominIsrael and Ari Kinsberg) and the auxilary topics of Drinking on Purim have been covered (see IndependentFrum Thinker, SerandEz, Moshe Abelesz, Yingerman, DAG, Married and Navigating Jewish Brooklyn, Orthomom). Most importantly see what Rabbi Tzvi Hirsch Weinreb, Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski (posted by DovBear), Rabbi Horowitz have to say.
I'm just sitting back and wishing my readers a Purim Sameach and most importantly a safe Purim. The only thought I feel is worth adding at this point is that the Yeshivot who allow (and even encourage or push) drinking (or smoking or other substances) do a tremendous disservice to the parents who are trying their best. There are enough bad sights and unsavory places that we need to be weary of. The Yeshiva should not be one of those places even one day a year! The scene on Purim is oftentimes deplorable. I hope that we will have the strength to tell our children that they cannot go to the local Yeshiva on Purim when they are old enough because based on the stories that some of the teenage boys who have befriended my husband tell, we just cannot allow it period. And it makes me sad.
As for mishloach manot, I have to wonder when those who really go "all out" on in the mishloach manot department find the time and the energy, much less the money. A few baked goods and some candy or a piece of fruit in a bag is plenty of work for me. Let's just say that baking in the kitchen with my kids is a bit of a zoo. My son really enjoys "helping" Mommy and I am mastering the art of guestimating when it comes to baking. He has probably memorized all of ingredients that go into baked goods, but has no clue about the science behind the art. Why not throw in some extra flour? How about some vanilla Mommy? You mean there is a difference between the 1 on the teaspoon and the 1 on the tablespoon? Doesn't look like a difference to me, they both say one!
This year my husband encouraged me to buy the Purim cards and just fulfill the minimum when it comes to Mishloach Manot. I seem to give it thought every year, but once I'm baking it doesn't really make a difference if I'm dong one batch or four batches. And my packages are so minimal that I'm sure we aren't contributing to any out of control spending. I probably make everything for somewhere between $15 and $30. We like to deliver our little bag of cookies and candies to neighbors, mostly widows or widowers if possible. I don't think I will be switching to the cards anytime soon, especially since I don't want to do away with the spirit that I associate with Purim. But, on that note, I think the cards are great!
One other note regarding Mishloach Manot, please don't be shy about telling people that you do not accept homemade items. The fact that it defies the spirit of Purim, nonewithstanding, I hate to think that perfectly kosher food could be going to waste. There is a comemntary that I read (sorry, no source) that because the Jews did full teshuvah that people could trust their neighbor's kashrut and exchange gifts of food as a sign of that. I don't know the best way to convey that you don't accept homemade items, but RaggedyMom has a neighbor that throws out everything homemae. At the very least you could give it to someone who has no issue.
Today I helped my son make and wrap little packages of his own to give to his friends. We try to make all of the Chagim into a big deal and I try to include our kids in the preparations to the best of my capabilities It isn't easy, but I try to make it fun and keep it under control. We put on our CDs of different Shabbat and Holiday music and have a great time singing and working together. When people hear my preschooler sing they oftentimes ask where he goes to school. Well, the "preschool" is right here in our home, and we don't even have formal lessons. And the biggest benefit is that I don't have to put up with music I don't like as we go straight in for the "real stuff" (nearly all Hebrew and Ladino, but I even tried a little Yiddish Chanukah time-nothing wrong with exposing your children to various sounds and languages). :)
Purim Sameach.
Since the Orthonomic posts relating to Purim have been covered (see MominIsrael and Ari Kinsberg) and the auxilary topics of Drinking on Purim have been covered (see IndependentFrum Thinker, SerandEz, Moshe Abelesz, Yingerman, DAG, Married and Navigating Jewish Brooklyn, Orthomom). Most importantly see what Rabbi Tzvi Hirsch Weinreb, Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski (posted by DovBear), Rabbi Horowitz have to say.
I'm just sitting back and wishing my readers a Purim Sameach and most importantly a safe Purim. The only thought I feel is worth adding at this point is that the Yeshivot who allow (and even encourage or push) drinking (or smoking or other substances) do a tremendous disservice to the parents who are trying their best. There are enough bad sights and unsavory places that we need to be weary of. The Yeshiva should not be one of those places even one day a year! The scene on Purim is oftentimes deplorable. I hope that we will have the strength to tell our children that they cannot go to the local Yeshiva on Purim when they are old enough because based on the stories that some of the teenage boys who have befriended my husband tell, we just cannot allow it period. And it makes me sad.
As for mishloach manot, I have to wonder when those who really go "all out" on in the mishloach manot department find the time and the energy, much less the money. A few baked goods and some candy or a piece of fruit in a bag is plenty of work for me. Let's just say that baking in the kitchen with my kids is a bit of a zoo. My son really enjoys "helping" Mommy and I am mastering the art of guestimating when it comes to baking. He has probably memorized all of ingredients that go into baked goods, but has no clue about the science behind the art. Why not throw in some extra flour? How about some vanilla Mommy? You mean there is a difference between the 1 on the teaspoon and the 1 on the tablespoon? Doesn't look like a difference to me, they both say one!
This year my husband encouraged me to buy the Purim cards and just fulfill the minimum when it comes to Mishloach Manot. I seem to give it thought every year, but once I'm baking it doesn't really make a difference if I'm dong one batch or four batches. And my packages are so minimal that I'm sure we aren't contributing to any out of control spending. I probably make everything for somewhere between $15 and $30. We like to deliver our little bag of cookies and candies to neighbors, mostly widows or widowers if possible. I don't think I will be switching to the cards anytime soon, especially since I don't want to do away with the spirit that I associate with Purim. But, on that note, I think the cards are great!
One other note regarding Mishloach Manot, please don't be shy about telling people that you do not accept homemade items. The fact that it defies the spirit of Purim, nonewithstanding, I hate to think that perfectly kosher food could be going to waste. There is a comemntary that I read (sorry, no source) that because the Jews did full teshuvah that people could trust their neighbor's kashrut and exchange gifts of food as a sign of that. I don't know the best way to convey that you don't accept homemade items, but RaggedyMom has a neighbor that throws out everything homemae. At the very least you could give it to someone who has no issue.
Today I helped my son make and wrap little packages of his own to give to his friends. We try to make all of the Chagim into a big deal and I try to include our kids in the preparations to the best of my capabilities It isn't easy, but I try to make it fun and keep it under control. We put on our CDs of different Shabbat and Holiday music and have a great time singing and working together. When people hear my preschooler sing they oftentimes ask where he goes to school. Well, the "preschool" is right here in our home, and we don't even have formal lessons. And the biggest benefit is that I don't have to put up with music I don't like as we go straight in for the "real stuff" (nearly all Hebrew and Ladino, but I even tried a little Yiddish Chanukah time-nothing wrong with exposing your children to various sounds and languages). :)
Purim Sameach.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)