PSA: Shmura Matza Deal, Teaneck and Five Towns

$14.50 a pound for shmura matza. Can be picked up in Teaneck or the Five Towns. Go to Kosher Kouponz and make your purchase in the next four hours. Hat Tip: Anonymous reader. [Updated as readers pointed out the original link had expired].

Tasteless Absolutely Revolting

As seen on VIN and other places.

Who in the world decided to place the footage of the massive, deadly, and destructive tsunami in Japan into a video in support of the 2 bochurim currently imprisoned in Japan with the lyrics (no less!) "the mercy, the beauty, the kindness of a Jew?" Inserting such footage is so completely devoid of all of the above.

A new low.

Is these a way to protest this?

Production: The Ikur or the Tofel?

Enough with Pesach Money saving tips for now. It is time for a little cultural commentary.

[I ask any readers to please make this a discussion of ideas. In other words, no naming names of the school or any staff in the comments should you be familiar].

A reader sent me a letter that went home with middle-school aged girls (from what I believe is a centrist girls school) regarding Production practice schedule that left me stunned. After months and months of "rehearsing, carpools, late nights, and dance practices," the school capped off the lead up to Production with a full week of full day rehearsals for pre-bat mitzvah aged girls! The reader finds the incredible emphasis on Production at the expense of both Torah studies and general education "mindboggling" and wonders where are the priorities, as well as where is the respect for parents who can't simply change their schedules at a whim?

I couldn't agree with my reader's concerns more. As parents of (modern to centrist) day school/yeshiva students, I believe we are primarily looking for a strong education (Torah and general) within a Torah environment, and secondarily we are seeking some low-key experiences within the school environment that will help provide a well-rounded educational experience. A well-rounded experience certainly is not defined as a singular emphasis on a single area for the pre-adolescent set.

Those that kept up with the "Tiger Mom" and the surrounding debate might now easily understand just why such a parent, might categorically reject school plays. . . or in this case PRODUCTIONS. My (public) high school had some self-selected drama-geeks who spent inordinate hours on choir and musicals, some even making a name in the field. But I simply fail to see the benefit of a majority of a student body made up of 11 and 12 year olds (frum or not) putting these type of hours into a single production. For frum students, it is even more puzzling since Broadway or Bust isn't our motto. A little of this and a little of that within the confines of school would suffice for most parents I'm certain. And if a child were particularly driven in an area of their choosing, we can work with that.

So, fellow parents (and educators): Do you think that PRODUCTION has become too much of a production in Girls Schools? Leave your comments. Maybe someone will hear them.

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Just in case you need a definition of full week, full day practices, read the following. And, wow, as a parent I can't think of any more difficult hour of the day than 7PM! The last thing I want to be doing at that hour is getting in the car (with kids no doubt, since what husband is home reliably home in order to make a 7PM sharp pickup?). Talk about a way to throw everyone's schedule off-kilter!

Please note that in order to complete their rehearsals for their upcoming production of [edited], the 6th graders will [meet in a different location. . . ] Monday-Thursday [deleted]. On Monday they will daven at home and arrive at 10, bringing lunch, drinks and snacks. On Tuesday-Thursday, they will come at 8:15 AM for Tefila, followed by two Torah classes, followed by rehearsals ending at 7:00 PM all 4 days.

· Regretfully, all students will need to carpool both ways. The school districts will not provide transportation to an alternate site.

· Tuesday-Thursday, the day will begin with davening at 8:15 AM. [. . . ] Our teachers will supervise davening and then teach 2 regular Torah Studies classes from 8:55-10:20 AM, after which play practice will begin. [. . . ]

· All parents need to make carpool arrangements to pick up their daughters at 7:00 PM on Monday-Wednesday.Please be prompt.

· Students should bring the appropriate text, notebook, and, of course, a pen, for their Torah classes [. . . ].

· The students will be at the practice site for many hours. Although faculty will be there at all times (till 4:30 p.m.), the teachers will not conduct formal classes after 10:30 am, but be available for extra help, clarification or test preparation when students are not rehearsing. Please encourage your daughter to take advantage of the presence of her general studies teachers by preparing a list of topics that need clarification, or decide to engage their teachers in meaningful conversation. [Omitted: rules on I-pods and cell phones].

Resources: Great Pesach List and Past Pesach Money Saving Tips

This is a helpful Pesach list showing what products need special Pesach certification and which don't. What makes it really great? Two columns, Ashkenazic and Sephardic (starting on p. 11). What else is great? Kashering methods starting on p. 18, also divided by A and S.

The tip to know your products is mentioned in nearly every Pesach on a Budget guide. Now that I have reorganized my pantry, I'm doing two things: 1. Pulling out canned goods that are taking up space and forcing their use and 2. Pulling out products I can use for Pesach and washing them off so I'm certain they are clean for Pesach.

Here are all the Pesach on a Budget posts from Orthonomics.

Making a Budget Pesach

Five More Money Saving Pesach Tips

My Post-Peasch To-Do List

Ask Orthonomics: Reader Seeks More Tips on Lowering Pesach Costs

Guest Post by Susie Sharf: How to Shop for Passover on a Budget, Part 3

And some cultural commentary with an economic component:

From Free Man to Slave: Avadim Hayin L'Mastercard B'Americ

Echad Chacham. . . . Echad Helpless Loser

Guest Post: How to Shop for Passover on a Budget, Part 3

By Susie Sharf of Cheapskate

Some of you may have landed here because you've been following my How to Shop for Passover on a Budget series on Kosher on a Budget, here and here. I hope you've found this information useful and have already saved some money. So far in this series, I've been trying to apply some common sense frugal principles to Passover shopping. Just to sum up what we've talked about:

1. Make a master Pesach year-to-year list. Mine is here.
2. It's only eight days. You can do without.
3. Arm yourself with a solid knowledge of Pesach-related halacha.
4. Pesach shopping starts now. Actually, yesterday.
5. Go back to basics.
6. Invest in long-term items instead of throwing out money on short-term items. Think future.
7. Reach out to your friends and community and share/pool resources.

So, now that we've got the principles down, I'm just going to toss out a few assorted tips, coupons and deals that will help you save money on Passover essentials, like matzoh, and incidentals, like tea.

Matzoh:

• Keep your eyes peeled for those buy-$50-worth-of-groceries-get-5-lbs.-of-matzoh-free deals that pop up every year at the major supermarket chains. Have in mind that they tend to happen very close to Pesach and you might want to get your shopping done sooner.


• Here's a $2/1 coupon for a 5 lb. package Streit's matzoh. (Please note, even though this coupon is from a ShopRite circular, it is a legitimate manufacturer's coupon and should work in any store. I printed and clipped it and used it at a Denver Safeway without a problem.)

Fish:

• If you'd like to serve fish on Pesach but don't like the idea of shelling out $7-$8 for each roll of KLP (Kosher la'Pesach) gefilte, here's an fyi for you: Kirkland Atlantic Salmon Frozen fillets and Kirkland Frozen Steelhead Trout, both bearing an OU for year-round use, are also KLP, according to the OU. This is the Costco brand of frozen fish and it is great quality. These are all skinless, boneless, center-cut (no waste), individually wrapped fillets. The trout is slightly cheaper than the salmon, and tastes just as good; I substitute it in recipes calling for salmon all the time. One fillet=2 appetizer-sized portions and there are usually 7 fillets in each bag. Costco fish works really well in this great Pesach recipe, which is a staple in our home.


• Gefilte fish a must for Pesach? Try sending for these A&B gefilte fish coupons, with this caveat: when I requested them a while back, they arrived about three weeks later, but I've gotten numerous reports from readers that they never received them.

Appliances and housewares:

Although this goes against my usual buyer's instincts, I don't buy top-of-the-line appliances and housewares for Pesach; I prefer to save those for year-round use. Remember, Pesach is only eight days. That means that, even factoring in the extra guests you'll have, the wear and tear on your Pesach kitchen stuff will be a fraction of the amount that you put on your non-Passover items. While you don't want to get really cheap, low-quality items, it's perfectly ok to buy 18/0 silverware instead of 18/10, or Pfaltzgraff instead of Lennox, or Farberware instead of Calphalon. As the years progress, your needs will evolve, your tastes will change, you might want to upgrade or maybe you'll just grow tired of what you have, and knowing you haven't spent a fortune on an item that you've barely used will make changing it out a little easier. You might think this is in conflict with my recommendation that you "invest in long-term items instead of throwing out money on short-term items," but it's not. I'm suggesting a balance between building up a cache of housewares that will help you save money for many Pesachs to come, but without investing in top-of-the-line products.

Cleansers, detergents, counterware, paper goods etc.:

We're often so focused on the expense of Pesach food, that we forget how much we spend on cleansers for The Big Clean. I recall going through an entire large bottle of Purex in just three days last year, when my washer was going non-stop the week before Pesach. Unless I find a fabulous sale paired with a high value manufacturer's coupon stacked with a store coupon, or a great online deal, I tend to buy most of my cleansers at the dollar store. Yes, the dollar store.

Here's a little factoid that was news to me this year: many dollar stores, especially the large chains, will accept manufacturer's coupons along with their own store coupons. Family Dollar in Denver accepts manufacturer's coupons, and when you stack them with their store coupons and very low prices on brand names, many of the cleansers I buy there come out to near-free. You can also get brand-name Passover sponges, dishracks, and placemats there for a song. Most of their prices on paper goods rival those of even Costco.

KLP Herbal tea:

Many stores raise the prices on Wissotzky Tea (which is the KLP herbal tea standard) to $4 or $5 per box before Pesach. Instead, go to Walmart or Target or any supermarket and pick up one of the KLP versions of Bigelow Tea, a national brand that goes for around $1.50-$2/box and is excellent quality tea. We drink it year-round. If you prefer to buy it online, here's a link to 6 boxes of my personal favorite, Plantation Mint, on Amazon for $12.38 (Subscribe & Save price, with free shipping=$2.06/box). Bigelow's KLP hechsher is from KofK. Each year, I pool together an assortment of Bigelow KLP flavors in a lined basket, which makes for a nice change from the usual Wissotzky tea box.

Stuff for the kids:

What would a Passover seder be for the kiddies without a table littered with frogs? Get 12 dozen of these pretty cute frogs at Oriental Trading for $4.99 plus $6.99 shipping. Oriental Trading has a ton of fun things in bulk for children, so if you get together with a few other families and pool your merchandise order so that it's over $49, you can get free shipping with promo code RT1135200. (You can also get 4% cash back if you click through their Shop at Home link first.)

Pets:

Click here and look at page 35 for a list of the CRC's recommended Passover food for pets. Over the years, we've been buying our little beagle Science Diet, which is one of the recommended dog foods again this year. Click here to download some high value coupons for Science Diet pet food. Click here for a $7/1 coupon for Prescription Diet. Click here for a $2/4 cans coupon for Evanger's pet food.

There are no dog treats that are recommended for Passover (almost all contain some form of chometz), so here's a low cost solution: when you're clearing the table after a meal, pile everyone's leftover soup and gravy into one plastic bowl. Soak 2 pieces of plain matzoh in it overnight. Break up the matzohs and either let them dry out or give them to your dog the way they are. Instant dog treats, for the negligible cost of two sheets of matzoh. Dogs love matzoh!

My most sincere thanks to the Academy my hostesses, the proprietors of Orthonomics and Kosher on Budget, both excellent blogs that address the economic challenges unique to the global religious Jewish community. As we get closer to Pesach, please check back on my blog, Cheapskate, for more Pesach money-saving tips.

Please share some of your frugal Pesach suggestions in the comments below.

The Next Big Idea or a Bunch of Old Ideas Put Together?

Hat Tip: ProfK who brought my attention to something I ignored when it was originally published and asked what her readers think.

On a website "The Next Big Jewish Idea" we are treated to one heck of a big dream (perhaps a bigger dream than government vouchers): COMPLETELY FREE EDUCATION! Incidentally, as strongly as I believe that Jewish day school/yeshiva tuition is out of control, I don't want tuition-free private schooling either. Yes, I think that as a whole we are best served by paying something modest to reasonable that requires some level of sacrifice on the part of the parents. But, back to the subject of the "Big Jewish Idea."

The plan, known as ROILA (Return on Investment Los Angeles), is a plan to reduce and ultimately completely eliminate the cost of tuition for statement of LA Jewish school, K-12. No surprise, what is being proposed here is an endowment fund that will eventually spin off enough to cover the cost of tuition. Before I list the components and phases of the program, let me remind my readers of the cost of tuition at (Orthodox) "pro-Israel Zionistic schools", the only schools that might be included in a program someone is dreaming about:

• Hillel: $16,050 to $18,110 8th grade boys with $700 registration fee added in
• Yavneh $16,500 to $17,800 plus $500 graduation fee for 8th grade
• EMEK $15,358 to $15,758 plus $275 graduation fee for 8th grade school. Part of tuition includes a $4000 "membership fee" listed as tax deductible but tells you to check with your accountant (good idea!), we've discussed this before. . . . .
• YULA (website is down, but the Jewish Journal Article on GED'ing saves on tuition written during school year 2008-09 lists tuition as $22,700 for boys and $20,225 for girls)
• Valley Torah $21,050 with early registration

Phase One, 3-5 Years

All parents with child in Jewish schools must join a synagogues and pay full membership. Then the synagogues would raise membership by 10-15% (synagogue memberships seem to vary between approximately $1000 and $3500, making a 10% raise between $100 and $350). Revenues for increased membership gets put into a super-fund. Mega-donors will match the funds.

The start-up funds raised will 1) fund the project and 2) reduce tuition.

Comments: This tax-on-membership has the possibility of creating new money for schools, but is likely to deprive synagogues of needed donations. If I were sitting on the board of a synagogue, I'm not certain I'd be supportive. I don't know of a shul that survives on dues alone, or even a shul for which dues pay for the majority of the operative budget, and taking money in the form of membership is likely to result in lesser discretionary donations. Raising the price of membership could drive away existing or new members. It is highly likely that the day school families will *not* be able to pay the higher priced membership.

Strings Attached

This is the only new idea I'm seeing proposed. Schools that receive funds "must accept certain fiscal oversights in the form of a Controller Czar, operate according to basic business principles, and have professional Board training. In return, the schools would have larger student bodies, subsidies, and money to improve teacher compensation and address infrastructure concerns."

Commentary: I've said numerous times in regards to community wide funds that there needs to be "strings attached." Here the proposal includes attaching some strings, but I don't see much of a call for cutting costs. In fact, there is a call to increase costs (i.e. improve teacher compensation) and staffing is, by far, the largest cost of private education. Perhaps the idea is that larger classes will offset the increased teacher compensation, but to increase class size you either need to 1) shut down schools or 2) attract new students. Regarding the former, I believe the "pro-Israel Zionistic schools" are large enough that no one school can simply be absorbed into another, which leaves attracting new students.

Community Service

Parents are asked to give, not money, but perform "meaningful community service" as well as "participate in educational classes given by volunteer parents."

Commentary: Both Hillel and Yavneh's tuition schedules (see links above) require parents to volunteer hours annually or pay additional tuition ($1,200 and $500, respectively). I'd love to know what "meaningful community service" the planners have in mind which is presumably above and beyond. It would be innovative to attempt and replace paid staff with volunteer staff. The call above is to increase teacher compensation.

As for participating in educational classes. . . . who has money for babysitting in order to attend classes? At least in the Sephardi House, the babysitting budget is non-existent.

Honoring Mega-Donors

Mega-Donors will have their names publicly honored and posted prominently.

Commentary: We know the names of existing mega-donors. Their names are on the wall!

Phase 2, Bequeaths

"All LA Jews (emphasis mine) would be asked to bequeath 5% of their assets in their will to the school and 5% to the shul of their choice. This 10 percent of their estates for ROILA would fund the Super-Fund and eliminate the burden on the Mega-donors. Community members would be asked to give their children $0.90 on the dollar, with $0.10 going back to the community as their final mitzvah on earth."

Commentary: There is no way you will ever get "all LA Jews" to be part of a single program, especially those who prefer to send their children to schools that are not included in the program. So, it would be silly to base a program on a dream that requires such a high level of participation. What endowment a more reasonable participation rate raise, say 10% participation raise, over the next 25 years?

Incentivized, Safeguards?

The planners call this plan a win-win and write "donors rarely view schools as a sound investment as many schools have not spent donor money as intended. Here donors not only have safeguards but become highly incentivized to donate locally to their own community . . . .this system could ultimately serve as a sustainable national model."

Commentary: Uh, the reason donor money isn't spent as intended is normally because there isn't enough money to cover the operating costs! Where is the plan to cover operating costs? Speaking of safeguards, many an endowment fund has been raided. I believe the point the planners are trying to make it that a school can't raid the endowment fund to cover this or that. That alone doesn't "safeguard" the fund. As for sustainability, the only thing I see here that is undeniably sustainable is death.

My Conclusion

This is unfortunately just another pipe-dream which combines mostly old ideas put together in new packaging with a great new acronym. We absolutely do need to reduce the "constant pressure on parents" that tuition brings, but "there is no such thing as a free lunch". You can't solve today's problems (and I'd classify $15,000 plus tuitions as a problem) by waiting for a generation to die. I personally do not believe there is a way to make private school education available and affordable for all. Given the recent public school news, I believe that public education is going to need to take a serious haircut to be "sustainable." I do believe we spend too much time dreaming BIG when we'd be better served by piloting small ideas.

If you read the rest of the article you can learn about the community service aspect including entire families. You can learn about housing opportunities and one-stop job boards, problem solving, respecting the environment, and caring for their elders (!). And you will learn that "once the structure is in place the possibilities to positively impact the community are only limited by our imaginations."

Here is my "next big Jewish idea": offer a Free Market Economics 101 class so we can start dreaming and start piloting some real programs that could offer real relief to some people and some schools. There is no such thing as utopia in olam ha-zeh. My new slogan, think small and doable.

Purim: I'm Not a Minimalist

Someone showed me an article printed in a publication that I believe has little purpose except to reinforce the insecurities people have about mishloach manot and introduce a few more you probably never even considered. I publish a lot of ideas that I'm certain are disliked by many, so I hope I won't be accused of being the pot calling the kettle black, but I had to wonder what the purpose was to publish such an article? The article actually had something in it that reminded me of a LONG overdue post, but that will have to wait for a few days as I take care of some other things. So, back to mishloach manot for now. . . .

Another idea I was re-alerted to again this year is PIP (on a chat board I saw mention that the idea was promoted in Mishpacha). I published this idea in 2009 when I received it. At the time I thought it intriguing enough to publish the forwarded text on Orthonomics, even though I did **not** advocate the approach and had no plans of adopting such an approach then or now. But I did understand the sentiment that there is a need some have for "permission", so to speak, to tone things down where needed. As the saying goes "ideas have consequences" and the discussions surrounding mishloach manot got me thinking about the consequences of implementing such ideas or acting on insecurities being promoted.

My thinking came to a head yesterday and today. We received two very grateful thank yous for our mishloach manot. The first was from neighbors that are not fully observant who were thrilled to receive our little package of treats and wrote us a little thank you note. I've often wondered if the non-Shomer Shabbat living in a heavily Shomer Shabbat neighborhood feel invisible? It is a nice chance to connect with these neighbors especially on a day that is festive and relaxed. The second thank you was from an elderly, never married man we met at another community member's sukkah a few years back. My husband wrote his name in our notes and we have been delivering a meal-in-a-bag mishloach manot annually (real food for a lunch or dinner). I can't even tell you how appreciative he has been and he has taken it upon himself to send us a fancy gift basket mishloach manot himself, which is appreciated but certainly not expected. At this point the gifts are not "equal" (an insecurity) but that isn't the point of mishloach manot, is it?

Another insecurity mentioned is making someone feel like a chesed case or feeling like a chessed case when people remember you once a year. Certainly one doesn't want to make anyone feel like a chesed case, but I think it would be sadder to not deliver to those who will feel grateful and appreciative because someone out there took a mitzvah designed to bring people closer as an insult.

It happened that I when I went on a run to deliver to our aforementioned friend, I brought extra mishloach manot to give to other people who might not receive many and might be watching a stack multiply outside their neighbor's door. Turns out that no one had put a label on these (I believe I mentioned my worker bees didn't finish the job). What hashgacha I thought! I can deliver these to some widows, widowers, and divorcees we are acquainted with, but don't interact with often, anonymously and hopefully no one will feel embarrassed.

Ultimately I am very uncomfortable with promoting a trend of a minimalist trend of mishloach manot. I was thinking a little bit about it in terms of a takana and why a way of doing thing should be changed. The most famous takana I can think of is that of burying the dead in simple clothing (my apologies for the original mistake). In death there is really no purpose to take our wealth to the grave. I can think of no constructive purpose to anything more than a minimalist burial. In fact, quite the opposite. We can't bring the material into the next world, only our mitzvot. Whatever material goods we may leave in this world on our passing are best used for good in this world.

Limiting mishloach manot to the minimal level of fulfilling the mitzvah, as opposed to encouraging the kehilla to exercise some thought and discretion, is not something I want to see encouraged as a trend. The parade of children in costume is something that brings a neighborhood alive on Purim. There are so many people that we can bring simcha to with this mitzvah. There are tremendous opportunities for chinuch on Purim day. Let's leverage those opportunities and not go overboard just because the Schwartz's went crazy and made "everyone" they sent to feel inadequate!

Get Rid of the Insecurity and Just Enjoy Purim

Over at Matzav, you can treat yourself to typical Purim ranting. I recall at least part of this rant from a Yated gem of the past. It is really a shame that a more lighthearted, fun holiday turns into a stress fest for so many people (particularly the women folk).

Do some people have out of control mishloach manot? Sure. Do some people have misplaced priorities? Sure. Have some people taken a lovely mitzvah promoting friendship and perverted it into yet another competition? Sure. Is there unnecessary pressure? Sure. Do some people spend ridiculous amount of money? Sure.

Can we control any of that? Probably not. But we can work to control our own insecurities (and in turn hopefully raise more secure children who won't feel the need to constantly peak over their shoulders). And perhaps if we work to control our own insecurities, we will start to have more Purim fun, rather than pressure to match the neighbor who has been thinking about a costume to coordinate with the mishloach manot package theme (or is that a mishloach manot package to coordinate with a costume?) since Rosh Hashana.

In the grocery store I ran into a lovely friend who always makes a very attractive mishloach manot packages. We enjoy receiving her package each year and always hide it away to enjoy without the children. As we were talking, she mentioned some of her own insecurities which surprised me because I would love to pull off such a lovely (and frugal) presentation.

Over here in the Sephardi household, we just can't seem to get it right. The goods might taste great, but something always seems to go wrong and it doesn't quite come together as envisioned. It isn't easy combining frugality with participation from children with a reasonable quantity with all of the other things I'm juggling during this time of the year. So, we just do what we can manage and that varies from year to year.

So after a marathon of creating with the kids (who ultimately left me holding the bag because the work isn't as much fun an hour later) and a packaging idea that the assigned packager wasn't quite coordinated enough to pull off, we have a basket full of tasty mishloach manot that weren't quite what I envisioned.

And do you know what? I'm accepting what is. We can give these out with a big smile. And we don't need to worry about what others might bring because this isn't an office gift exchange.

While I am critical of overspending and inappropriate displays of wealth or "wealth", I think we can enjoy other people's Purim fun even if we choose a different route. I don't think that in this lifetime we will ever have themed mishloach manot. And I doubt we will ever have costumes to match our mishloach manot theme because I don't sew and prefer to pick up costumes in the thrift store. But I can still appreciate the creativity of our neighbors who show up in great costumes with nifty packages even if we are putting our cookies and candies on a plain paper plate or brown paper bag and sporting a run of the mill costume. We can appreciate what our friends and neighbors bring us even if we are reciprocating with "less" (just say thank you is a midda I work on with my kids, and Purim is a great time to put that midda on display).

On that note, have a Purim Sameach and enjoy the chag anxiety-free.

And one final note, it is clear that many of us would like to see a sense of balance restored in the kehilla. But I don't think complaining about someone's Three Blind Mice Purim theme is going to restore the balance. I do think working to rid ourselves of insecurities and making choices without offering excuses (be it a choice about mishloach manot, consumerism surrounding yomim tovim, or camp) will rub off on others.

Guest Post: Purim Pledge

Guest Post follows (thank you and more Purim Posts to come, I hope. So busy!)

I don’t want to get into the debate about drinking and drunkenness on Purim, even though I do have some strong feeling about the subject. I would rather focus on an area in which we can all agree; we must have a zero tolerance policy for drunk driving, especially on Purim.

Yeshiva students who are not accustomed to regular drinking may be more susceptible to minimizing or even ignoring their impairment when it comes to driving. Let me say this clearly; no child or young adult should drive or attempt to operate a vehicle if s/he had anything to drink on Purim.

College Campuses have a similar problem when it comes to spring break, a period of time where many students engage in behaviors the normally would not consider. One solution I have seen on a number of college campuses is to offer a Drunk Driving Pledge to prevent students from drinking and driving.

Students are encouraged to sign the Pledge, and are offered an entry into a Raffle for doing so. Drunk Goggle demonstrations, which simulate the impairment of drunkenness and can be a powerful illustration of the dangers of drunk driving, often accompany the Pledge drives.

I believe it is time for a similar strategy for Purim. I have drafted the following text for a Purim Pledge aimed at children and young adults between ages 15-24:

In order to help ensure a safer Purim, I pledge that:

1) I will not operate or attempt to operate a vehicle if I have consumed any alcoholic beverages whatsoever.

2) I will not get into a vehicle driven by anyone who has consumed any alcoholic beverages whatsoever.

3) If, in consultation with my parents and Rebbeim and while obeying all applicable laws, I choose to drink on Purim, I will make safe transportation arrangements before Purim.

For an additional raffle entry: I will encourage my friends to sign the Purim Pledge.

It’s a simple idea, but coupled with organized Pledge drives on the local level it can save lives on Purim. For more information about the Pledge, or to help bring it to your community, please email chaimshapiro@ aol.com and join the Pledge Facebook Group at http://on.fb.me/fzFGx4

Chaim Shapiro, M.Ed serves on the Executive Committee of JBAC, The Jewish Board of Advocates for Children http://jewishadvocates.org/ . He is also the founder of the largest Orthodox online networking group, the Frum Network on LinkedIn.

Picture of My 15 Minute Challah

My post on Quick Challah brought in a number of comments and questions including questions about allowing sufficient time for the challah to rise a second time. I thought I'd post a picture of my finished (water) challah so that everyone can answer the question of sufficient rise for themselves. I made my dough in the morning and my oldest quickly braided these for about 10 minutes (no second rise) before jumping into the shower.

My challah recipe uses 5 cups of flour and is kneaded in a Kitchen Aid mixer. Kosher on a Budget has links to a mixer priced at $162 after rebates.

I've been using my mixer for at least 7 years and the engine is still going strong. A good mixer does carry a hefty price tag, but useful workhorses are on my frugal-approved list. If you average out the cost over say 10 years, it equals the cost of 3 bakery challahs.

What appliances have paid dividends in your kitchen? Speaking on dividends, training children to help and take responsibility is a tremendous investment! I'm starting to see the investment pay off in the form of pretty nice looking challah.

Shabbat Shalom.

PSA: Year of Free Tuition for New Day School Students (Pittsburgh)

Hat Tip: rosie

In a recent announcement, Pittsburgh Jewish Community unveils a free tuition program for new applicants. Program is open to local, permanent residents. The student must meet admission guidelines for the desired school and be currently enrolled in any school in Allegheny County. Student must be enrolled before the 2011-2012 school year.

Yated: A Change of Heart?

I haven't picked up a Yated in what seems like ages. Matzav publishes their weekly editorial, however. And while I rarely read it, this one caught my eye. I must say that I'm completely perplexed by the recent editorial "Life is Not a Popularity Contest" in which the newspaper's editor, in a rather long-winded editorial, ponders the propriety ignoring the "unsavory" in our midst.

Below are some select quotes from the article and I can't help but wondering, what prompted this editorial? This from the publication that did not once mention [insert story].

What is going on here? I'm hopeful that there is something positive going on behind the scenes and that honor and integrity will take a front seat.

The portrayals are far from flattering and thrust us into a dilemma. Do we ignore the unsavory stories or do we report on them? Do we publicly dissociate ourselves from individuals who have brazenly betrayed Torah ideals but continue to claim to represent our community?

How do we deal with the problem of people in our community who engage in dishonorable conduct? By ignoring it and by remaining silent, we are communicating a message that we tolerate and even condone the conduct. Is that the message we want to send?

We need to assess what we are doing wrong so that we can halt a pernicious trend and improve our people, their future, and the way we are being perceived by the world around us.

We also need to distance ourselves, publicly and privately, from people whom we know to be engaging in improper conduct and giving us all a black eye. There are prominent people who speak in the name of our community, whom we are quick to criticize and disown when speaking among close friends, but whom, for some reason, we never condemn publicly.

The media and bloggers have a field day painting these miscreants as representative of all religious Jews and rabbis. While many of them are motivated by pure hatred, how can we condemn them, as long as we continue to convey the impression through our silence that we are all of one stripe? If we do not disavow them, how can we expect the media and people removed from our community to differentiate between us?

Perhaps we remain silent out of fear. The notion that these people are arrogant and vindictive and will come after us is intimidating. Also, no one wants to be seen as a troublemaker. It can ruin our children’s prospects for shidduchim if we engage in activities which would allow unscrupulous people to paint us as baalei machlokes. People will say that we are negative, cynical, obstinate and arrogant. So we sit off to the side and permit these frauds to parade as Orthodox Jews in good standing.

Prominent shady characters are given carte blanche to enact their agendas and the dishonest are permitted to continue their detrimental behavior and actions. We beat gingerly around the bush, dancing around the edges, afraid to proclaim the truth.

What are we afraid of? Why are we silent? How can we live with ourselves as we see yet another rabbi or religious Jew creating yet another chillul Hashem? It would be bad enough if we waited until the scandal hit the papers and only then took corrective steps, but we haven’t mustered the courage to do even that.

We are beset by so many problems in our community, but if we are prevented from honestly assessing and addressing them, we will not be able to solve them. As any edifice built on a shaky foundation cannot endure over time, an ideological house of cards built on illusions will not survive. Closing our eyes to the facts won’t change them and will not remove the rot at the core.

Dealing with superficial issues which are merely symptoms of the malady while failing to invest time and energy in remedying the underlying causes is as effective as slapping a band-aid over gaping wounds.

Guest Post: Sitting on Thousands of Dollars of Silver Assets

Guest Post from Frum Actuary's Nephew (Thank You for contributing!)

I was in a silver store last week buying a wedding gift, and the proprietor mentioned a couple of interesting thoughts, which got me thinking as well. These strongly affect the Orthodox community, in more ways than one.

1: Couples are not getting silver presents. They get silver & wood, or silver & crystal. Full silver is just too expensive to give as a gift.

2: Everything in his store is a “bargain”, as it was bought (and is priced) when silver was at $28 an ounce (as of my writing this, it is over $36).

3: He has had many people come in to him to sell silver, which is at 30 year highs.

So how does this affect the Orthodox community? The presents that are “expected” by a couple have gone by the wayside. Gone is the day when a Chosson got a gold watch; That would set the father in law back more than a custom Shaitel!

But more interestingly, is that many families, even those without large amounts of funds, are (literally) sitting on a silver mine worth tens of thousands of dollars, just based off of Chassuna presents alone (Liechter & Menorah alone can be worth 10K). How this will affect tuition scholarships and the sort is beyond me, but I can see schools that are desperate for funds literally “raiding the families’ silver cabinet”. There is just too much money there to be ignored. Also Hilchos Tzedaka come into play, regarding giving to someone who is sitting on tens of thousands of dollars of sellable goods.

Where Signing on the Dotted Line Still Means Something

If you have caught any talk radio, sports or otherwise, you are probably aware that BYU (that's Brigham Young University) dismissed their star player from the basketball team. The team was enjoying an unusually high NCAA rating this season. It is a shame that the violation was made known. Few of us would want our own transgressions splashed across the media. Nonetheless, it has provoked needed national discussion about honor, virtue, and integrity.

BYU Quarterback Steve Young and Coach LaVell Edwards have come forward to support the University. Another star player said, "It's just hard for me to express just how immensely proud I am of my university." By all appearances, the player himself has shown nothing but honor and commitment to the code he signed onto. He has not publicly complained or offered excuses. He has apologized to his team for letting them down.

There is an incredible amount of mussar in this story. Here is an institution that chose to stand for their principles with millions of dollars in additional revenue on the line currently, to say nothing of future recruiting. Here is an institution that expects the same of all of it's attendees, regardless of their status.

I want to conclude this post with this quote from a former BYU athlete because I might want to refer back to it the next time I blog about commitment!: "Better that it happens at 20, rather than 50, with four kids. He'll probably be a better man, and that's ultimately what BYU is about, building leaders, building men. If that means missing out a chance at the Final Four, well, that's what happens."

New and Innovative, or Moving Money from One Pocket to Another Pocket?

Hat Tip: Google Alerts

There is a saying, "you can't buy your way out of debt" or "you can't finance your way out of debt." That is what popped into my mind when I read the newest creative proposed solution to the "tuition crisis" published in Jewish Image Magazine. (Brooklyn Sephardic/Syrian Community Magazine).

I had to hand the article over to my husband to read before committing pen to paper, or in this case fingers to keyboard, because I was certain that I was missing some important detail in the article, something about restructuring schools or cost reduction. Turns out I wasn't missing anything. The plan appears to be one where money is moved from pocket to pocket.

The plan proposed by the article is as follows:

I would like to propose a solution that may very well be the answer we have all been waiting for to reduce the current average tuition by 40 to 65%. This was inspired by the simple financial principle of dispersing a financial liability of 14 years of yeshivah tuition over 70 years. And this is how I suggest we approach this:

• Our current reality is: a young father fully pays all his children’s yeshivah tuition (approximately $252,000 per child ) over the 14 year span during which his children attend yeshivah, because his father did the same thing when he was a young father.

• The new state of mind becomes: each person pays his/ her own tuition over a span of 70 years, breaking the total into portions of 1/70 per year instead of the current 1/14. See figure 1.

This would result in a reduction of the annual payment by one fifth.

Of course, this would require a retraining of our minds and viewing the tuition obligations under a completely new light

Naturally, children between the ages of 1 and 20 cannot pay his annual 1/70 portion, so his father will pick up the tab during the child’s first 20 years, and in return this child (now a young man or woman) will pick up his children’s tab for the first 20 1/70 portions.

Let’s illustrate with numbers: After running multiple mathematical formulas, it seems like the key dollar figure of $7.95 daily contribution (roughly $2,900 a year) to a yeshivah fund program from every community member ages 1 to 70, would result in the reduction of the $18,000 average tuition to $4,000 to $6,500. So our new reality becomes that each and every one of us would come to terms with an annual contribution of roughly $2,900 throughout our adult lives, hence resulting in a tuition rate anywhere between 20 and 60%.

I'm not certain I understand how this proposed system is to develop and mature across a community, in a non-Utopian society (perhaps the Syrian Jewish community is more of a utopia? Do note that the author didn't limit this plan to his particular kehillah). The proposed system seems to make some bold assumptions:

1. That grandparents are not current contributors (could there be anything further from the truth? Seems many grandparents are contributing cash--even if not directly to tuition--or services--read: free babysitting while their own children work).

2. That young people, ages 20 +, have the means to make significant contributions to tuition while they are just starting out, either as singles, couples, or young families.

3. That families are similar sized. In figure 3, note that the grandparents had 4 children, and their more middle-aged children have 3 and 4 children a piece, nearly equal-sized.

4. That each and every member of a branch family will make their contribution from here until age 70 without dispute. The article states: "Each family branch is fully independent and self-sufficient. No exchange in funds between different families is to take place. Although this program aims to have the tuition burden shared by the whole community, yet this is not a redistribution of wealth by any stretch of imagination." While the plan might not call for redistribution of wealth within the community, it does seem to assume that branch families will be happy to share costs within their own unit. Should that not be the case, one can only imagine the potential disputes.

5. That all contributors will able to meet their obligations for a period exceeding any mortgage on the market.

6. That children from the family are all attending schools within the same system.

7. That grandparents have (even more) money to spare.

There will be a public forum, according to the article. So, I'm very curious what type of discussion will ensue. It is extremely difficult for me to envision such a plan working, but perhaps I'm mistaken.

What I'm certain I am not mistaken about is the following: you can't spend your way out of debt! Costs must be reduced. Even if tuition increases are kept in line with inflation (a stated goal), we all know how hard it is to keep up with inflation alone. I think each community exploring their options needs to ask themselves if their income plan raises new money or just moves money from one pocket to another and if their expense plan reduces cost.

The Camp Battle

Hat Tip: A reader who asks her readers, where do you weigh in on the issue of expensive Jewish summer programs? Are they a luxury or not?

A boxing match has begun in Bergen County. Some high schools sent letters to parents stating the school considers summer programs (Israel and for 10th to 12th graders are discretionary expenses, not basic expenses and that families sending their children, regardless of who pays, may be jeopardizing some or all of their scholarships. Quite frankly, I think the letter lacks teeth. "You may be jeopardizing some or all of your scholarship?" The passive voice isn't particularly convincing, is it?

Following this letter, two editorials have appeared in the Jewish Week decrying such a policy. The first letter comes from the paper's editor, Tough Choice: School Scholarship or Summer Camp. The second from NCSY International Director Don't Make Summer Programs 'Luxury Items'. Both articles decry the policy. The first editorial makes the argument

Both articles focus on the expected, the value of Jewish camping. The CEO of the Foundation for Jewish Camping is quoted in the first article saying "Families should not be "penalized" for wanting a full Jewish educational experience." In the second article the Rabbi begs that schools not be defined as "luxury items." Both editorials call for recognizing the value of the other, and working together.

Personally, I'm not so interested in weighing in on whether or not camp is a luxury or not? Let's just say that 99% of Americans would not even understand arguing over the necessity if a multi-thousand dollar summer "experience" is a basic expense or luxury. I hail from a working class town and can easily count myself amongst that 99%. Where I grew up, camp generally referred to spending your days at the Boys Club or the Girls Club (they've since combined). Other kids spent their mornings at (free pubic) summer school, followed by (walking to) swim lessons. High schools went to summer school/junior college, worked, and/or joined a sports league. If a high schooler mentioned going to camp, it most certainly met they went to a 3-4 day intensive for some club or sport. [Full disclosure: in elementary I had the one-time opportunity to spend 2 weeks in a Jewish day camp and it was absolutely wonderful].

To me the question is simply one of priorities and yashrut. Is it proper for some parents to enroll their children in expensive summer programs (or purchase other expensive consumer items or services) all while asking other parents and donors to subsidize their tuition? Is it proper and upright to take on another financial obligation when you can't meet your first obligation? One would think the answer would be obvious, but if it was obvious, we wouldn't be having this discussion, would we?

Frankly, I have little shaychus to the entire discussion. Paying $7000 for an Israel or other Summer experience for one, single child is about as relevant to my life as discussing purchasing a Rolls Royce (note to the second editorial author: I don't compare new cars to yeshiva education or camp. The reason people do compare to cars, imo, is that people save for a single car over several years, and yet have bills equaling the price of a new car arriving in their mailbox each summer. That is why an equivalence continues to be drawn).

It seems that while the school administrators and camp administrators duke it out over luxury camping vs. not doing so, there is a demographic that goes completely unnoticed (the demographic that doesn't get the experiences, only the bill). I'd consider our family part of that hidden demographic. We have a list of reasonably priced luxuries that might enhance our lives and our children's lives, but we are maxed out by tuition to the point where after-school gymnastics, ballet, art, or tennis is simply out of the question. We'd like to be able to take our children on road trips or go to an amusement park. But spending an extra low four figures would overrun the budget and make it very difficult to meet tuition on cash flow alone. Yet no one seems to recognize when parents ask for assistance to do what "everyone else" is doing, that they aren't just putting the burden on those who do, but those who will never do.

The end.