Healthy, Easy TuBeshvat Breakfast

Last night I made a traditional Sephardic barley wheat bulgar dish for our little celebration. This morning I served it for breakfast and it occurred to me that I should really make this more often because it serves as a great breakfast food. Unlike oatmeal, it doesn't lose its appeal if prepared in advance. Unlike breakfast cereals, half of it doesn't end up on the kitchen floor. Nor did any child feel the need to take a ridiculous quantity. I love affordable.

Those who are interested, boil 4 cups of water and add 1 cup of bulgar (I like medium grain). Stir until most of the water is absorbed. Next, add sugar. The recipe calls for between 1/4 and 1/2 cup. I'd go with the 1/4. Add a good amount of cinnamon and finish cooking.

Can be served warm, room temperature, or cold with nuts and fruit. If you want to use dried fruit, add the dried fruit with some extra water at the beginning of the cooking process.

This is just like making oatmeal, but doesn't change texture as it cools and sits.

Bulgar can be found in the international section of the grocery or in ethnic stores. It can also be cooked up like rice and there are lots of sweet and savory dishes appropriate for chagim and Shabbat.

Organizing Cost Effective Grocery Shopping


Readers in my previous post are making a lot of requests from me. I will try to be at your service, but I'm hoping that there is a life insurance expert out there will kindly submit a guest post because this is not an area of expertise of mine. When it came to selecting life insurance for our family, we called up a friend who sells insurance through a well known and highly rated company and got the ball rolling. We also are required to enroll for a certain level of coverage through my husband's employer, so we don't have all our eggs in one basket so to speak. But I'd like to learn more from a reader of this blog and am putting out my request for a guest post. Otherwise, I will have to do some research, which isn't a problem by any means. But a guest post would be more expedient.

Now, back to the subject at hand. I am passionate about controlling the food/household goods budget. I think anyone trying to gain control over their household budget would do best to start in an area they can exercise a healthy level of control over without having to make changes that might be too drastic. Of course, tackling this area of a diet might involve quite a bit of change if you have to change the way you eat, but it still may be less traumatic than selling your home, car, or pulling the kids off the soccer team.

Many are under the impression that controlling the food/household goods budget is far too bothersome, providing far too little return. I disagree. Getting the hang of it does take some practice and the initial stages can be time consuming (especially as you make menu changes and learn new cooking habits) but once the basic skills have been mastered, it gets easier and easier. Those who haven't learned more frugal skills have to exercise the muscles, and the beginning of any exercise program can be a bit difficult.

Here are a few things necessary to get the ball rolling in the right direction:


1. Spend $1. For at least a year I tried the coupon thing, but could never seem to get a handle on it. I had an envelope with diaper coupons in it, another envelope with cleaning product coupons in it, and another envelope with hygiene product coupons in it. But once I was in the store, I couldn't locate the envelopes for the life of me. Months later, I'd find them while cleaning out the car or cleaning up the desk. Of course, by then the coupons were useless.


Then one day we were in Target and I saw a coupon purse in the dollar section. I spent one dollar and have saved hundreds since then. An compact and organized coupon fits nicely in my purse. I don't leave home without it. And its size and simplicity helps keep me organized.

I try to cut coupons once a week. When my kids are more cooperative, I will put one of them to work leaving me with only the responsibility of organizing the coupons. I file coupons as follows: diapers, food products, household cleaning products, toiletries, gift card offers for new and/or transferred prescriptions, rainchecks, and retail.

Note: CVS Extra Bucks sit in my wallet in front of my credit cards and Rite Aid receipts are filed there due to their valuable rebates. I have found I need these items to be very visible lest I forget I have them.

2. Create a grocery flex fund, say $200-$300. I do not adhere to a rigid budget for groceries. I know it works for some people to put $100 in an envelope at the beginning of the week and call it quits when the money is gone. But, frankly, I'd never survive because inevitably when tuna goes on a 2 for $1 sale, cereal is also on sale at a bargain price, as is cottage cheese, as is pasta, and then, lo and behold, I run into packages of diapers that end up running me less than $5 after coupons. I rarely go to a warehouse store, but when I do hitch a ride with a friend, I can quickly spend $100 on some basics, and while those basics can easily last 6 months, I can't drink the olive oil for dinner. Therefore, I need the flexibility to spend more some months and less other months, hence the flex fund. Sometimes you have to spend money to save money. Hence my stockpiles of goods we use regularly.

3. Create organized storage area(s). If you are stocking up you need space. The space should be as easy to use with good visibility so you can make a quick inventory by sight. I highly recommend buying a stand up freezer (try to find a floor model, you will likely save nearly half) because having this storage area is one of the keys to saving, both time and money.

4. Grocery List on the refrigerator. I keep an inexpensive magnetic pad of lined paper on the side of my refrigerator. Everyone has been instructed that if they want something, they need to add it to the list (supplies don't appear magically). When I notice we are running low on a non-perishable staple, I try to get it on the list before the situation is "desperate." That way I can buy it in the place that I know it is priced best at, rather than the place I need to go.

Now, onto the shopping tips:

1. Get your paper and pencil ready. The day that the circulars arrive in my mailbox, I quickly scan through the ads, circling everything of interest to me. Once you have figured out how the stores lay out their circular you will learn which pages to look at and the time spend will quickly be cut in half. The kosher consumer can often skip more than half the ad. The front page normally contains any super sales (e.g. cereals, produce bargains, ice cream bargains). The middle pages are mostly filled with items of no interest to the kosher consumer (meat, cheese, deli, seafood). If I believe I have a coupon for an item, I note "coupon" right on the ad and move that coupon to the front of my file. The real deals often come from matching up coupons with items on sale. How I got cereal for 80 cents: the store was selling general mills cereal 10 for 10. You had to buy 10 at a time. At checkout they gave you a coupon for $2 of 5 boxes on your next purchase. So, I went back and the next 10 boxes cost me 80 cents, as did the next 10 and the next 10. I found a hiding place for the cereal and bought a huge supply.

2. Get to know different store's policy on coupons. Presenting coupons is unfortunately the only way to get to know the policy, but it has been well worth it for me. Some stores will double coupons 55 cents and below, others 99 cents and below. This means the same coupon is far more valuable in store b than in store a. Some stores don't care if you are buying the exact product in the exact quantity so long as the manufacturer is the same (e.g. a coupon for one type of Kellogg's cereal can be used to buy a different Kellogg's cereal). Some stores are more than happy to take coupons that have recently expired, other stores are strict about the expiration date. I tend to throw out all coupons past their expiration date because I don't want my file to become overwhelming. But one drug store is happy to take expired diaper coupons, so if I have a more valuable diaper coupon, I hold onto it.

3. Note non-sale prices on basics either mentally or in a notebook. Just because something is on sale doesn't mean it is a good price. Also there are large discrepancies on basics between many stores. I refuse to go to 6 grocery stores a week. So I stock up on things we need that don't regularly go on sale whenever I am at the grocery store that has the best price.

4. Shop with a calculator. Bulk doesn't mean less expensive and unfortunately grocery stores don't always match their units. You can't compare pints with gallons without a calculator.

5. Ask for a Raincheck. If there is a really good sale on an item, it will often be gone be gone by the time you get there. I keep rainchecks behind a separate tab in my coupon wallet so they are easy to locate.

6. Damaged Goods. I can't even begin to tell you how much money I've saved buying slightly dented cans, cereal and foil in crushed boxes, and packages of diapers with damaged packaging. I have paid 5 cents for small cans of tomato sauce, 25 cents for cans of pineapple, and I've even picked up free cereal after applying coupons. Find out where the damaged items are kept and visit that part of the store religiously.

7. Stock up only on what you use. Buying in bulk is only good if you regularly use the item. Buying an item that is a good price for that item, but not really a good price, will only put you behind. I stock up on frozen vegetables, canned tomato products, cereal, and cuts of poultry/meat that we regularly use.

8. Past its Prime. I have made large batches of soup for almost nothing by buying produce that is past its prime. So long as you have time to put up a soup and space to freeze, I recommend looking for produce past its prime. I made a sweet potato soup from onions and carrots on hand combined with 6 sweet potatoes I picked up for a dollar. I believe I had enough soup to serve for six Shabbat meals. More recently I made an entire stockpot of minestrone soup from not so fresh tomatoes and other vegetables I had on hand. The tomatoes cost me $2.50. This Shavuot I was planning a dessert, but ended up spotting a beautiful raspberry tart for $1.50 on the day old bakery rack. I would not have thought of looking on the bakery rack, since the items baked at the store are not certified. But a kosher certified package caught my attention and we were out the door with a great treat (and it really was tasty).

9. Package your own snacks. Enough said.

10. Water. Challah. Soda, seltzer, and juice can put a hit on any budget. Sometimes you have to wean your family off their drinks. Fortunately water is good for the waistline too. And do learn to make your own challah. I can mix up a water challah (five cups of mixed flour) in five minutes for almost nothing. To think that only 5 years ago I was spending at least $6 a week on challah. It is almost embarrassing.

And lastly, don't wear yourself thin. Good habits take time to build and get easier with time. My food/household goods budget has been just about the same for the past few years despite a growing family. But I've expanded my menu options, learned how to juggle my cooking, learned how to substitute ingredients, learned more about freezing, and I've learned new skills like making a variety of soups and baking challah. I've also managed to settle into better cooking routines that don't take away great amounts of time. I really see this part of homemaking to be a lot like an exercise plan. It takes some time to settle into and learn to enjoy it.

Shabbat Guests

Rabbi Horowitz responded this week to an inquiry about having Shabbos guests where the spouses are not in agreement. The guidelines he provided are applicable in many areas of life. But, the subject gave rise to some of our thoughts on Shabbat, guests, and family time. Baruch Hashem, this is not a subject of contention in our home, but we maintain flexibility in our approach, as our grows and family changes.

In general, we prefer to have single guests (singles, divorced, and widowed), but also enjoy having married couples on occasion. Having families with younger children tends to be a bit more challenging, but can be fun on occasion. Since we both enjoyed the hospitality that others provided us when we were single, we feel that hosting those who wouldn't have family to eat with is the best way to repay the kindness shown to us.

Sitting down for family meals is a great way to bond with each other and create proper "attachments," and Shabbat is the one time when those dinners go almost completely uninterrupted by design: no phone (although I'm thinking about turning off the ringer during weekday dinnertimes when our children are older), no appointments, no chores that have to be continued from the day. Fortunately I am home fulltime and our kids are young enough that they don't have activities or schooling that conflict with regular family dinners or with Sundays. I can only imagine just what a pleasure Shabbat meals are for families that do not enjoy regular meals together.

But even given our blessed schedule, I have still found that Shabbat is an important and unique time to bond at the table and, although we love hachnasat orchim, we have settled into a pattern of normally limiting ourselves to guests just on Friday night-although we happily make exceptions.

We have found that hosting for lunch is a bit more difficult for us. Primarily, there is more shopping and more cooking, all of which ties me down during the week. Secondarily, when the weather is beautiful, it becomes really hard to pull the kids away from the park to make it home in time get everything together in time greet our guests. When we don't have anyone expecting us home, we can be flexible about our schedules and enjoy more time letting the kids play, socialize, or whatever else. Thirdly, if lunch goes on too long, we miss out on a small window of uninterrupted time to do things that interest the kids, whether it be legos/megablocks, reading, or games. Also, one of my kids has a lot to say at the table, but gets shy when other non-family members are around. So, if we want to hear about groups, the parsha, or the songs he wants to sing, it is better done without an audience. (Baruch Hashem he loves our guests and even talks about a few of them regularly and asks if he can set up their place next to Daddy-hello to one of you :) ). And, lastly, my culinary strength is in the dinner meal.

When I was single, I had a friend with a rapidly growing family who used to tell me about her plan of attack for preparing Shabbat (something she had gleaned from a book and adopted). She would start on Monday and finish on Friday, preparing and freezing or refrigerating along the way. I thought she absolutely nuts! That was until our family grew and I discovered that trying to pull off a whole meal, from the shopping to the cooking, on Friday (even on Thursday and Friday) was going to make me absolutely nuts! So a pattern was born that serves us well. An entire week's meals are planned in advance, shopping takes place at the beginning of the week, and cooking for Shabbat takes place in stages, just as the cleaning schedule rotates. Friday is basically a relaxing day where we put together one or two small dishes just so my little helper can connect Shabbat with the preparations, but not connect Shabbat to the stress and mayhem that goes on in a lot of households.

While there are people out there that will criticize mothers who don't make Shabbat a Shabbat by doing the unthinkable and serving pasta, when a family member has spent the sick during the week or the week was just too busy week, I have been known to serve spaghetti with meat sauce, or something else that lacks the kavod we prefer to accord Shabbat. Our guests may never see spaghetti with meat sauce in front of them, but we have at least one regular guest who would probably prefer this meal over any other.

I try to remember our guest’s culinary preferences, but don't always succeed (maybe I need to maintain another list). We have our "meat and potato" guys who need potato something or other. We have our non-fish eaters, only tuna eaters, and our not too fishy eaters. We have our vegetarians. We have our guests with allergies to nuts, wheat, eggs, and spinach, and nearly everything else under the sun. Then there are the times when the meal is already cooked and a guest ends up needing a place after all is cooked and completed, and they aren’t too fond of whatever I have made, or worse yet, won't even eat it. We had one meal where the hospitality committee failed to warn us that the guests they asked us to host kept chalav yisrael and it is Shavuot! Fortunately, our guests were able to eat something.

While we have had a few difficult guests, for the most part having company is really our pleasure. We try not to invite guests that are going to clash at the table, but have had our fair share of uncomfortable instances. We usually invite only guests of one gender, but would be willing to venture out into mixed gender groups if we knew the guests would be comfortable with the prospect and that last minute cancellations wouldn't leave us on a "double date" with a guy and a girl who would prefer not to be on such. In addition, we have one guest that we will NEVER invite with a person of the opposite gender because he is liable to ask her out (even if she is 25 years younger, but that my friends is a post for another time).

Our special pleasure is celebrating smachot with a number of regular guests, and we have been fortunate to do so on a regular basis. In fact, we are currently looking forward to a very special simcha.

Guests bring a whole new dimension to the table that we don't want to miss and don't want our children to miss now, and especially in the future. We have been blessed to have survivors, Rebbeim, and other wonderful people at our table, all of whom bring their own unique perspectives, experiences, and divrei Torah to our table. When we have guests there is also a level of simcha that manifests itself in song that we cannot reproduce without guests.

We get a lot of pleasure out of both arrangements, guests and no guests, and continue to find our balance. I often wonder how certain families that are known for hosting lots and lots of guests regularly do it. But, I also wonder if some families who rarely if ever have guests get lonely. I can't imagine Shabbat without at least one guest, preferable two to three. And, I sometimes wonder if the shana rishona couples who specifically don't invite-a shita we never adhered too, despite the strong recommendation to do so-ever itch for a change of pace that guests inevitably bring.

Since we have great pleasure in both types of ways to spend Shabbat and see benefits to both, we have worked to find a balance that works for us. Hosting guests really comes with a whole myriad of dynamics that probably have never occurred to those who don’t make hosting a regular activity. We have learned through trail and error. I hope the couple in Rabbi Horowitz’s column works out a balance that is appropriate for their family.

Your thoughts?

Rabbi Horowitz Responds:
Keeping Our Children Safe

A week ago, I composed and sent a letter to Rabbi Horowitz, looking for information on the problem of sexual abuse in our communities, as well as information on how to approach the subject with our children. And, Rabbi Horowitz responded! So let it be known that "I started this Forest Fire."

Rabbi Horowitz responded this week in his Parenting Column with an article entitled "Keeping Our Children Safe: Part I." The response is lengthy, so I encourage you to read the response via the link. In brief, Rabbi Horowitz acknowledges the issue (and reminds us that "school faculty members commit only a tiny fraction of the abuse perpetrated on victims. Abusers are far more likely to be older kids in the neighborhood, family friends, neighbors, peers, extended or even close family members") , recognizes its importance of the issue, points out that the longer we let the problem fester the more problematic it becomes. He points out that abuse and neglect are the number one risk factors for children abandoning observance. He also writes " I assure you that things will not improve until we gather the energy and courage to change the culture of denial and stop the destructive habit of hoping that problems will self-correct and go away."

Please read the first part of the response and join me in wishing Rabbi and Mrs. Horowitz a Mazal Tov on their daughters impending chatunah.

In addition, I want to point out some information that Dr. Nachum Klafter presented in the comments of my letter here, as well as additional information on the subject here.

More posts on financial issues and Orthonomic issues to follow after Chanukah.

And a Chanukah Sameach. Also, HaSephardi was kind enough to post another Sephardi receipe for Pan D’Espanha. This is not in my regular lineup, but I'm looking forward to trying it sometime. Thank you.

BIG Mazal Tov and some Fun Chanukah Things

I want to take this time to wish all of my friends and readers a Chanukah Sameach and a Shabbat Shalom. Please keep reading and discussing. A great readership really helps the writer behind the computer screen.

And, I am honored to wish a big Mazal Tov to Rabbi Yakov and Udi Horowitz, on the upcoming marriage of their daughter Faigy to Dovid Meir Loeb on week from this Sunday. Rabbi Horowitz's articles and parenting column are excellent and well worth the time. May Faigy and Dovid Meir build a bayit ne'eman b'yisrael. What a lucky couple to have such parents to look to when their time to parent comes.

I've tried to make it a point to post some interesting Sephardi tidbit before each Yom Tov. So, in continuing with this tradition, I thought I would post a cute little Ladino Chanukah Song, "Ocho Kandelikas," which I was teaching one of my children this week, and a recipe for the food mentioned in the song.

The song can be heard in full here. (A word of warning for those who don't listen to kol isha on recordings, this recording includes kol isha. Sorry.)

Lyrics:
Hanukah linda sta aki, ocho kandelas para mi, Hanukah Linda sta aki, ocho kandelas para mi. O...
(Beautiful Chanukah is here, eight candles for me. )

Refrain: Una kandelika, dos kandelikas, tres kandelikas, kuatro kandelikas, sintyu kandelikas, sej kandelikas, siete kandelikas, ocho kandelas para mi.
(One candle, two candles, . . . . eight candles for me)

Muchas fiestas vo fazer, con alegrias i plazer. Muchas fiestas vo fazer, con alegrias i plazer. O...
(Many parties will be held, with happiness and pleasure)

Repeat Refrain.

Los pastelikos vo kumer, con almendrikas i la myel. Los pastelikos vo kumer, con almendrikas i la myel. O... (We will eat pastelikos [see below] with almonds and honey).

Repeat Refrain.

Bimuelos recipe

The following is a Sephardi pastry recipe for Chanukah. It is essentially a doughnut, but instead of putting jelly inside, it is dipped into a sweet syrup or warm honey. They can be made in advance, stored in an airtight container. But, if you make it in advance, warm the syrup for dipping in when you serve. (Since we are serving these for Shabbat Chanukah, I will be keeping the syrup warm on the blech for dipping at dessert time and may even warm the pastries up for a brief time).

• 1 package or 2.5 teaspoons active dry yeast
• 2 cups warm water
• 1 teaspoon sugar or honey
• 2.5 cups flour
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• Vegetable oil for deep-frying
• 1 recipe of sugar syrup cooled

1. Dissolve yeast in 1/4 cup of water. Stir in sugar or honey and let stand 5-10 minutes until foamy.
2. Combine flour and salt in a large bowl and make a well in the center. Pour yeast mixture and remaining water into the well and stir until dough is smooth. Cover and let rise at room temperature until it doubles, approximately 1.5 hours. Stir again.
3. Heat 2 inches of oil of a medium heat to 375 degrees.
4. Dip spoon in cold water to drop doubt into hot oil. Deep-fry until golden brow on all sides. Drain on paper towels.
5. Dip warm doughnuts into cooled syrup. If you prefer, you can dust with confectionery sugar (or see above for Shabbat method).

Sugar Syrup

Combine 2 cups of sugar (or 1 cup of sugar and 1 cup of honey) with 1 cup of water and 2 teaspoons of lemon juice. Bring to a boil, stirring frequently. Reduce heat to simmer and simmer without stirring until a syrup forms. Cool in the refrigerator. You can add a 1/2 teaspoon of ground cinnamon, a tablespoon of orange zest, or even a tablespoon or rose water or other fragrant water.

And a Halachic Concept

Rabbi Mansour answers the question, "Chanukah- When Your Neighbor Does Not Have Enough Money To Buy Oil To Light The Menorah," what the halacha is when your neighbor does not have the money to buy enough oil to light the minimum, while you have only enough money to fulfill lighting all of the candles (a hiddur, as we are only required on light on each night as a minimum). The answer in short is that the neighbor with money for all of the lights, but no more than that, sacrifices his hiddur so his neighbor can fulfill the mitzvah of lighting too.

Rabbi Mansour states: "Although this Halacha may not have direct, practical relevance nowadays, the underlying principle is an important one: a person should be prepared to help others perform Mitzvot at the minimum level, even at the expense of his own performance at the highest standard."

This principal hopefully will serve as a nice lead in to a future topic. (!) Stay tuned. . .and Happy Chanukah.